Ever: The Ever Trilogy, Book One (Volume 1) (33 page)

I soon discovered that the website’s owner had nothing else to go on either. The website wasn’t even finished.
Great. Thanks for nothing, Hat Man.

The website had a link for pictures, and I was half-tempted to ignore it, for the simple fact that if I clicked on it and saw a picture of Toby, I’d probably pass out. I clicked on the link reluctantly, holding my breath and cringing while I waited for the bomb to drop.

Nothing. Just a blank page.

Thank god.
I was relieved. That’s silly, I know, but I was relieved nonetheless.

I also felt completely ridiculous. I mean, what kind of people hung out on these websites anyway? Certainly not levelheaded people like me.

After that website, there were a few band websites—Soul Collector was apparently a very popular choice in band names—and a few book links and gamer sites. Three or four pages into my Google search, I discovered that there was absolutely nothing to discover. Super.

I decided to try to find something on Toby and Ariadne’s matching tattoos.
Gag
.

In my frustration, my heart tried to tell me to go ask my boyfriend my questions, but I sternly reminded my silly little heart that Toby wasn’t really my boyfriend—not if he’d never truly loved me and our relationship had never been
real
.

My heart then tried to convince me to call Frankie into my room and ask
him
my questions. But my heart was so
trusting
, which made it completely
untrustworthy
. Clearly, my heart didn’t want to accept the fact that I was pretty much on my own in this, and that was just too bad.

After I’d searched Google images for angel wings … and angel wing tattoos … and angel wing
tribal
tattoos … and Seattle tattoos—seriously? What was I thinking with that one?—and tattoos with three lines—
that
one was even more ridiculous than the previous search for ‘Seattle tattoos’—I was completely annoyed, and nowhere closer to finding anything out. None of the images was what I was looking for, even though the list of word combinations was endless, as were the images.

My patience, however, was not endless.

After an hour or two of searching and coming up with no results, I gave up.

What to do next … ?

My next thought was the library, but then I reminded myself that without a point of reference to start from—and I couldn’t just ask for a book about soul collectors if I wanted
non
-fiction—I’d end up with the same frustrating results Google gave me.

I stared at the wall for a few minutes, wishing for the idea to come to me.
Begging
it to come. But when it did, it wasn’t good.

Dammit.

Be careful what you wish for,
whispered a little voice in my mind. I swear the voice was mocking me.

No way. I don’t like this idea one bit.
I stared at the wall for a few more minutes, willing something—
anything
—to come to me. There had to be a better plan.
Ugh.
I turned off the computer, reluctant to act on my idea, but unable to come up with a better one.

Maybe, if I played it just right, I’d slip and fall when I stepped into the shower, cracking my head on the tile and bleeding out before I had to actually
act
on my next idea.

Maybe a house would land on me when I walked outside.

I showered slowly, unable to rush because I knew what I had to do. I threw the gray sundress back on, because I’d only worn it for a few hours anyway, and called Jessie. I wasn’t about to do this alone.

When she answered her phone, I could hear that she’d been crying.
Oh, no
. She’d taken the shock worse than I’d figured. Of course, if she was crying, I realized, she hadn’t checked out completely like my mom had. The silver lining of the storm cloud that was now my life.

“Jess? What’s wrong?”

”I broke up with Greg, Ever!”

Oh, geez.
Why had all of this happened? Anger filled me again, and most of it was directed at Toby. He brought these people into our lives, and whether he had
intended
all of this was beside the point. Like it or not, it
had
happened, and more than just
I
was affected by it.

“Oh man, Jess. I’m so sorry.”

“Do you know what he
told
me, Ever? He told me he’s a soul collector.” She paused, waiting for my shocked reaction. “A
freaking
soul collector, Ever! Did you hear what I just said?”

Oh, geez.

“Yeah. I know, Jess.”

“You
know
? So what, you
believe
them, or something?”

“Yeah, Jess, I guess I do. I don’t understand it—
at all
—and I don’t know what it all means, but I intend to find out. And wait a minute—aren’t you the one who’s been telling me to open my mind to the possibilities?” She couldn’t see my hand, but I’d added air quotes to
possibilities.

“Oh, Ever. I wasn’t serious!” Uh-huh, sure. Whatever. I dropped it.

“Okay, well—”

“He used me.” Her voice had gone down a few octaves, and my heart broke at the sound of it. “He used me to get to you.”

“Jess. Maybe he—”

“Forget it, Ever. It’s no big deal. There are a million guys just like him who would die to date me. No biggie. What’s your plan?” And with that, she’d moved past it. Or at least pretended to.

“Well, I’ll tell you when I see you. I’ll be at your house in twenty minutes.”

“Don’t bother; I’m almost at your house. I just parked around the corner because I didn’t want to accidentally run into Toby. Or Greg. Or that bitch Ariadne
. Ugh.
I’ll be there in a few. Oh, and bring me some clothes and stuff.”

“Clothes?” I asked, but she’d already hung up the phone. I grabbed the toothbrush she kept at my house, a tube of toothpaste, and a hairbrush, a gray and black striped maxi dress, and my black gladiator sandals. She’d have to just deal with the color choice today because I didn’t own anything that even closely resembled pink.

Moments later—after escaping through my window to avoid seeing Frankie or my completely detached mom—I was buckled into Jessie’s bright pink VW, and the two of us were ready to take on the world. Or figure this thing out. Or at least eat a really big, fattening lunch, because that’s where we were headed. I might have been delaying the inevitable, but my stomach was growling, and I wasn’t one to argue.

Jessie had on the pink Minnie Mouse shirt she wore to Disneyland yesterday, so I imagined she’d had even less sleep than me. I wondered how long she’d stayed up talking to Greg.

“Don’t even look at my outfit right now, Ever. After we got to Greg’s house last night, I passed out. I don’t know if it was shock, or what, but when we woke up this morning, I freaked out on him, and then, after what he”—she paused, shaking her head slightly, brow furrowed—”what he
told
me, I got in my car and drove straight to your house. I’ve been sitting down the street all morning not knowing what to do next.”

“Oh geez, Jess, why didn’t you call me?”

“I don’t know”—her stomach rumbled loudly, breaking up her words—”I was sort of just … scared, I guess. And now I look disgusting.”

She didn’t look disgusting by any means, but Jessie was Jessie. She made a face when I handed her the clothes, crinkling her nose at all the black. “Well, I guess it
does
go with my mood. All dark and grumpy.”

We ended up at Islands, deciding that a basket of Cheddar Fries could make even the very
worst
situation better. With bacon of course, because
everyone
knew that bacon definitely made
everything
better. Jessie headed to the bathroom to change and wash her face, and I ordered our food and drinks.

Jessie came back to the table and began applying her makeup, trying to camouflage the puffiness from all her earlier tears. I blankly stared into space. I knew what I had to do next, and I didn’t want to do it alone, but I also knew that Jessie was going to be pissed.

“I can’t believe I just brushed my teeth in the bathroom here. People probably think I’m a hobo.” She paused to look around for anyone nearby, and, satisfied that she looked the best she could look under such dire circumstances, she closed her compact, turning her full attention to me.

“All right, Ev,
soul collectors.
What’s your big plan?”

Delaying the inevitable again, I gave her the back-story. I explained to her that I’d been on the computer all morning, searching for anything that would help us, and I’d come up empty handed. Then I told her about my plan—which was a
far
better idea than going to Greg or Toby with our questions—but you wouldn’t guess that by her reaction.

You’d think I’d asked her to off someone for me.

“
What?”

Three women dining at a nearby table turned their heads in unison at the sound of Jessie’s shriek.

“Are you freaking kidding me right now, Ever? Is there something
wrong
with you? Freaking
Ariadne
? Of all people?
Ariadne?
”

“I know, I know, but hear me out.”

“Yeah. Okay. I’m sure you have something
amazing
to tell me. Something earth shattering that will justify going to
that
horrible bitch for help. Do you know she hooked up with Greg? Ugh. That chick’s a major stain. I can’t even believe you right now, Ever.”

My eyes widened.
Greg, too?
Slut.
I shook away the thought. Ariadne’s lack of character, or why Toby and Greg had apparently
both
hooked up with her, was not what was important right now. And frankly, it kind of made me sick to think about.

“Jess.”

“Fine.” She waved her hands in mock surrender. “Go ahead. I’m all ears.”

“You’re right, Jess. She
is
a
major stain
, whatever that means. I hate her as much as you do. Trust me. What she did … to us … to
Frankie
… well, crazy bitch status aside, she’s at the bottom of this whole mess. I’m not ready to talk to Toby. You’re obviously not ready to talk to Greg.” I waited for her to argue, but she conceded by averting her eyes. She didn’t want to admit that I had a point, and frankly, neither did I. But that wayward house I’d wished for never fell on me when I walked outside earlier and I didn’t die in the shower, so as of now, this mess was still my life. “And you know what, Jess? I have a pretty good feeling that both Toby
and
Greg will hide the truth from us, or at least some of it. So screw them. We’re going straight to the source.”

“Your plan sucks. I hate that chick.”

“I know. You’ve said that. But can you think of a better idea?”

“Yeah, I can. What did Frankie have to say about all of this?”

At the mention of his name, my cheeks flushed. Heat rushed into them without my consent, and I looked down at the napkin in my lap, trying to make my hair fall forward to hide my blushing.

“Oh my gosh, Ever Van Ruysdael. What is that?” She pointed to my red cheeks.

“What?” I tried to answer her nonchalantly with a casual shrug and a blank look on my face, but I knew my cheeks were giving me away as usual. I looked anywhere but at her, my head still slightly tipped forward. I tried to play it cool, all the while knowing it was a lost cause. I’d never been able to keep anything from Jessie. I took a long sip of my Passion Fruit iced tea, hoping that somehow it would magically cool my cheeks.
Yeah, maybe if I rub the ice directly on them, or pour the tea over my head.
She’d think I was crazy, but at least that would draw the attention away from talking about Frankie.

“Oh no you don’t. Look at me.”

I looked at her, my lips twisting into a smile beyond my control.

“Oh, Ever, you
slut
! You hooked up with Frankie, didn’t you?”

The slut reference stung a little, but
only
because of my shameful conscience. I knew Jessie didn’t really think I was slutty. God knew
she’d
kissed a lot more boys than I had.

“Jessie, shh!”

The waitress delivered our gooey, cheesy mess of fries at that very moment, and my cheeks flushed even hotter, as if
she
also knew that I’d kissed two boys in as many days. Jessie waited for her to leave and then lowered her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, speaking around a mouthful of fries and ranch dressing. Her eyes were wide with anticipation.

“Spill.”

I told her how Frankie woke me up during the night, after another one of my nightmares. I began to describe the way it had felt to see him there, to finally
feel
his hands on me—

“Wait …
what?
What do you mean
another
nightmare?”

Oh. Shoot.
I hadn’t told her. I wanted to, plenty of times, but we always got to talking and we never finished one story before we’d started another one, and there were
always
so many other things going on—most prevalently her new, exciting relationship with Greg, and my often-confusing relationship with Toby. And somehow,
somehow
, I had neglected to tell my best friend about my nightmares.

This meant, unfortunately, that I’d never told her about Frankie’s visits to my room at night. As I began to tell her about all of the nightmares I’d had, and the subsequent nights spent with Frankie, I saw in her face that I’d hurt her. She tried to mask it with her interest in my story, but it was there. Plain as day.

Ugh.
I hadn’t meant to hurt her, really I hadn’t. But it was too late for that now.

“Jess, I’m so sorry. I mean, I
meant
to tell you, but—”

She shook her head lightly and waved her hand in the air, silver bangle bracelets clanking around her wrist.

“No worries, Ev. It’s all a bit to take in, yeah, but I can’t even imagine how weird it was for
you.
I mean, being with Toby all that time, but loving Frankie too, and then … and then Frankie was coming into your room at night to comfort you!” She paused and licked her lips. “It sounds like such a great episode of Gossip Girl! Or 90210! But … you know … like a
Halloween
episode or something … since Frankie’s a ghost.” She paused again, and her eyes widened slightly. “
Was
a ghost. Whoa. That’s weird.” She shook her head. “Okay, so anyway, enough about your secret little affair with Frankie.”