Every Girl Does It (6 page)

Running
past Preston without saying goodbye
, I
find
a seat in t
he café. Decaf
isn’t
an option, so I
get
a double caramel Macchiato. Note writing, and all around immaturity
,
can be draining,
plus the cinnamon rolls look
good. Grabbing my latte and roll
,
I
scan the room for a seat
and spo
t
Brad and Kristin.

“
Hey
!”
t
hey shout, a little loud for being so close
.

I still
have
food in my mouth so I wave then open my mouth for the boys to see chewed food
. They
laugh. Then I hear another type of laughter. Man laughter, or let’s just call it
maughter
.

My nemesis. Is he stalking me? And why am I kind of flattered? Mutinous emotions, I press the disturbing thoughts from my mind and try to behave maturely for a change.

“Amanda
,
you’ve met Preston
,
right?” Brad
pushes
him forward
,
obviously not reading my body language of “hate” well enough to understand that yes
, I did
,
indeed
,
know Preston
.

Preston
is
the first to interrupt the
awkward
silence
.
“I actually knew Amanda in
h
igh
s
chool
.
I
sn’t that right
,
Amanda?”

T
he
cinnamon
roll
is
like glue to my tongue, so
I
nod my head and smile with my mouth closed.

Brad
laughs
.
“Well isn’t that something? Wow,
did you guys ever date or anything?”

And that’s when the food
flew
out of my mouth onto
Brad’s
nice Armani shirt. I gasp and quickly grab napkins
,
while Brad
keeps
t
elling me not to worry and to “
remember
,
I do have two kids under the age of
three”
.
But still, I
feel
awful
.
W
ell
,
that and just angry that Preston
seems
to be enjoying himself
so much
at my expense
.

“So,” Brad
says
as he put
s
the napkin down
.
“I
guess that’s a touchy subject, I’m just glad you guys know each other so well, especially for what I have to tell you next
.”

I look at them with genuine happiness
that
maybe Kristin
is
pregnant again
.
Maybe they want me
to babysit. Oh no, no babysitting! In anticipation
,
I look between the two of them waiting for their secret to be revealed.

Preston
looks
equally pleased and
sticks
his tongue out at me while
we wait. I
stick
mine out
,
to
o
,
then
am
ratted out by one of Kristin
’s kids, the
little traitor.
Preston
laughs
lifting his hand in
a thumbs-
up sign as if to say
,
“good job getting caught by a three year old
,
genius
”
. The temptation to slap the smile off his face nearly
overwhelms
me.

“We won a trip to Hawaii!” Kristin
squeals
with delight as Brad
kisses
her on the mouth.

I couldn’t be more thrilled
,
except what does it have to do with me and Preston
? No!
T
hey
are
going to ask us to babysit! Kristin knows how I feel about babysitting
.
I saw a shrink for two weeks after that incident. Oh no, then the thought
occurs
. I
’
m going to be an awful mother
,
and this
solidifies
that statement
.
I
’
ll be stuck with them for a week
,
and then I
’
ll rule out children forever
.
B
ut I want kids. Life is so unfair.

Preston
gives
Brad a high five
.
S
ince wh
en did they become best friends

“I
’
m so happy for you guys
. How
great is that?”

“
Sorry to interrupt
,
but Brad
,
how do you and Preston even know each other?
”

Preston
blushes
for the first time I can remember
,
rendering me
,
yet again
,
speechless and confused.

Brad
answers,
noticing Preston’s sudden embarrassment
“Well, the church has a series of meetings and counseling that each new member has to go through. It
’
s all kept private
,
so I couldn’t share it
with Kristin. Preston was
paired with
me
,
and we hit it off. It might sound
weird and maybe too
feminin
e
, but I
’
m glad to have a
good guy friend.”

“Aw shucks
,
mate.” Preston
replies,
pun
ching him playfully in the arm.

This
is
too much to
swallow
. I cannot handle them being best friends. Kristin is going to have to fix this. I look at her sternly and communicate with my eyes
, via giving her the stare of death
,
“Fix this now!” And I think she heard me
,
because she
nods
her head and
leans
in as if to say something to the entire group.

“The reason we wanted to tell you both together is because we actually won two extra tickets.” She
looks
between us and
winks
.
“Brad and I thought it would be fun to take two of our closest
friends
. Isn’t
that great? Can you believe it
? A
free trip to Hawaii over Thanksgiving break!
We leave
the day after
,
on black Friday
.”

Air. I need air
. Where
is air? Is it hot in here? Why am I seeing black
spots?
I blink my eyes several times before the rest of the room
regains
its natural state.

“Swell.” Sorry but that’s all I
have
in my
repertoire
of words to say at the moment
.
That,
and a word that shoul
dn’t be repeated at church
,
which happens to start with the same letter.

“Guys
,
that is so generous of you
,
really
.”
Preston
gives
Brad a high five and Kristin a hug. “But
who’s
going to watch the kids while
you’re
gone?”

“Oh
,
Brad
’
s parents said they would love to! I
t’s all working out so perfect
ly
!” Kristin
beams
.

“Isn’t
it though?” I
say
through clenched teeth.
“So
,
I guess we don’t
have much time to prepare
.
I
sn’t Thanksgiving next week?” I ask.

“Yes, we would
’
ve told you guys sooner
,
but we just found out this morning. We
entered
one of those trip sweepstakes
you get in the mail never thinking we
’
d actually win
. But,
surprise!
”
Kristin
laughs
again and
throws
he
r hands up in the air in
a
“surprised” manner.

Looking at Preston
,
I issue a challenge. There
is
no way I
’ll
allow him to ruin a fantastic vacation
. H
e
’
s staying home.
What’s ironic is
,
he
understands
my unspoken challenge and
grins
.
What I need is a game plan to get
Mr. December to back out. Then I
’
ll have th
e most perfect vacation of all
.
Insert menacing laugh here.

Preston me
e
t
s
my challenge with one of his own. His
cocky
face
turns
defiant
. He bit
es
his lip and
nods
his head as if trying to communicate
,
“
It’s
on
”
. H
e
doesn’t
want me joining the trip either. Well you know what
,
Mr.
I-can-have-any-girl-I-
want? I
’
ll destroy you from th
e inside out.

My eyes squint harder and harder until Kristin
has
to clap her hands in front of me to break the trance
. Of
course
,
I jump and spill my latte. As I
got
up to leave, I
saw
Preston pointing both fingers from his eyes to mine as if to say
,
“I’m watching you
”
. If that’s
not creepy, nothing is
. All I need to do is get through work this week
. Then,
before Friday
,
I
’
ll plead my case to Preston
,
making him feel the need to stay home while I go vacation in Aloha land
.

I skipped Bible Study. I
t was wrong and I
will accept punishme
nt later. I had to escape, to get away and
think,
or more accurate,
I left so I could plot
.
Preston
does bring out the worst
. However,
I don’t seem to bring out the worst in him.
Wondering why
,
I begin to think of ways to
make this vacation fireman-less.

What I
need is to go for a run
,
but I feel guilty leaving Mrs.
Butterworth at home
by her
self. She gets lonely
and
cranky
,
then she isn’t the best guard cat. Therefore,
I try to spoil her to keep her on her
best behavior. My plan is this: g
o home, have a relaxing afternoon with my cat
,
feed her some tuna
,
then watch a movie
.
I feel better. The tightness in my chest has
subsided,
and I finally feel like I can breathe
again
.

I g
et
home, put on my sweats
,
and
wrap
a sweater
around
Mrs. Butterworth.
Her exposed skin leaves her quite cold during the
wintertime
. Most people wonder what
I
’
m doing with a hairless cat, but the answer is simple
.
I have allergies so she
was the only option. Once you get to know her, the whole hairless aspect fades into the background.
Since she can’t stay warm
by
herself, she cuddles often and has a jet engine purr that sooths my racked nerves
. She was actually a gift from my parents when I graduated college. Some kids get cars, others get coo
l trips or watches. I, however,
got a cat.
Perhaps it was
some sort of hidden message of “well she
’
s never going to find anyone so we might as well get her a companion
”
.
In which case
, it
would have been terribly depressing, but I like to think my parents just wanted me to not be so lonely
.
However
,
the prospect that my parents might have thought it about me makes me want to defend myself.
I
’
ve been on plenty of dates. Just to prove it
,
I decide to pull out my journal and write out all the names of my past boyfriends
.

There was…

Derek. Psycho, and in love with someone else
. Yet
I still dated him
,
and so he remains on the list.
Plus he
hated Mrs. Butterworth. A
guy who hates animals obviously has some unresolved issues.

Tyler, o
h Tyler
! Y
es that’s a good one.
I do believe we dated for
three
months before I found out that he still lived with his parents. Or should I s
ay
off
of his parents? The fact that
his house was huge and that the furniture had a sort of familial feel to i
t
should have been some sort of red flag
. I finally clued in when his parents forgot he was taking me to their house and came home from
work too early. It was awkward, and it got worse when his
overly
polite mom asked me to stay for dinner.
W
hen I saw his mom actually cut his steak into bite size
piece
s
,
then proceed to pat his head like a good boy
,
I almost threw up
. Gross. I feel like crossing his name off
.
H
e
definitely
shouldn’t count.

Jonathan, now there was a keeper. He could sing
,
he could dance
,
and he played basketball. He was actually
quite
a talented athlete. The only issue was the fact he knew he was all of those t
hings
. Meaning
,
I was one of three
girls h
e was dating.
H
e never used
my real name
,
but
instead things like “
honey
" or
“
sugar”
.
Eventually
I started to piece together the truth.
However, revenge is sweet.
When I dumped him
,
I also broke into his email account and sent a forward to all of his friends
with an up-close and personal photo
of him picking hi
s nose. So what if it was photo-
shopped
? Only John knew, but
nobody believed him.

And that leaves t
he on
e guy I actually did like
,
until
the incident.

His name was Bobby. And no, I didn’t meet him on the playground.
Bobby was actually
pretty
coo
l. W
e me
t in college in a
f
reshman English comp class. I fell hard. He had sandy brown hair and dimples
. Every
girl in my class was in love with him.

One day when we were walking to class
,
he asked if I liked
Swedish fish, to which I
enthusiastically
replied
,
“Heck
,
yes
!
Do you have any?” I used
my flirt
y
voice, I might add
.
It must have worked
,
because h
e told me he
’
d give me some if I studied with him, which I did.

We dated
all the way through to my
senior year of college, until on a cold
,
st
ormy night he broke things off.

“Amanda,” he said
.
“I just think we
’
re in different places. Y
ou want to go d
o fashion stuff, and I’m not saying that it
’
s un-
C
hristian to like fashion
. But
I just think that
,
well
,
I have a higher calling. I’m going to b
e a pastor.”

And this is why I
’
m
strong now
.
I let this boy in
,
and he ruined my life! He went on to say that not only does he think it is un
-C
hristian to like
clothes
,
but
his parents
also
think I’
m materialistic.

Needless to say
,
I went shopping after that event. Kristin helped me take back all the clothes I bought that day knowing a college student couldn’t afford them. I haven’t seen Bobby since. But I
’
m guessing he grew out of his stupidity and is now past
o
ring a thriving church somewhere in the Bible belt. Good riddance.

So that’s it. That’s my list. I decide to uncross Tyler because
I should
have
dated more than four
people in my l
ifetime. There
’
s no way I
’
ll c
ount the dates
that never went past the first meeting. Plus
,
i
t
seems
like a
depressing endeavor to u
ndergo on such a stressful day.

The
phone
ringing interrup
ts
my thoughts
,
reeling me back into reality
.
“Hello?”

“Hi
,
Amanda
,
it
’
s Jane
.”
Jane
is
one of my man
agers at work
.
S
he
’
s stupid; s
weet
,
but stupid. You know the girls that
seem to
steal brain cells from you just by being in their presence
?
Her dad
is
our district man
a
ger
, so
she didn’t have to climb the corporate ladder like everyone else.

“What
’
s going on?” I ask
,
trying to sound polite
,
even though I
’
m
annoyed
by
the interruption.

She
giggles
, and I roll my eyes
,
praying for the phone to disconnect
.
“Well
, I just got the go ahead from D
addy to launch our new local ad campaign
.”

“Awesome.” I sa
y
dryly
. Why
is
she calling me on a Sunday to tell me this?

“And,” she
pauses for dramatic effect
, “he also let me pick out the male models. And you know what
’
s so great
,
Amanda?”

“Nope
,
but I’m sure you
'
r
e
going to tell me
,”
I joke
,
half kidding
,
half totally serious.

“One of them knows you.
”

My heart
stops
. S
omeone call an ambulance
;
my hea
rt just stopped
. I know who it is. It has to be Preston. Because come on
, if we’re honest this is
how my life is going right now. It has to be him, how did he do this? Why is he
weaseling his way into my life like this?

“His name is Preston
,
he
’
s one of the firefighters from the calen—
”

“
R
ight,
” I cut her off
.
“Well
,
sounds great
.
S
ee you Monday.
”

“Wait!” She
shrieks
on the other end
making me pull the phone away from my ear
. “I have to send all of them to you
this afternoon
so we can get the measurements for the shoot tomorrow
.
T
hat’s why I’m calling. You shou
ld expect them around two
.”

I look at my clock and pale
.
I
t
’s
one forty-five
.

“
Jane
!” I
warn loudly
not even bothering to hide my frustration
.
“Why didn’t you call sooner?”

“Sorry
,
I was busy
.
P
lus
,
I thought you were one of those people
who
went to church. Geez
,
calm down.”

I
’
m
hyperventilating into
t
he phone
.
M
ust. Get. A
ir.

“So that’s all.
Make sure you get all of their measurements
.
T
hey have to take of
f
their shirts
,
too
,
so we can see
the correct fit of the muscle T
’s.
Makes me wish I had your job.
Have fun
.”