Every Last Breath (12 page)

              “Thank you for doing that.”

              She saw the plastic bag tied up by the door. Ben really was a thoughtful guy. With that her heart opened a little wider.

Maggie felt a poke on her shoulder.  She jumped toward the center of the bed, her pulse racing. Her eyes flashed open to see Eli standing there. “Hi Mommy.”

              “Baby, don’t sneak up on mommy like that.”

              “But I didn’t, you were calling me.”

              “I was?”
              She pushed her hair back, it was wet. She must have been dreaming. “What time is it?

              “It’s after 8:00. That’s what Ben said.”

              Ben? That’s right, they had the talk. She told him about Jack and he actually stayed the night. She recalled some wine and falling asleep in his arms. The rest was a blur.

              She looked at Eli’s feet, noticing the oversized work boots. Thankful that Eli didn’t find Ben in her room, she reached for her robe and dashed into the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a second. Did you eat breakfast?”

              “Yes, Ben got us donuts.”

              “That was nice of him.”

              “Did he get the kind you like?”

              “Yeah. He let me pick out three.”

              Her throat tightened. “You went to the store with Ben?”

              “Uh huh.”

              He dashed back up the hallway and left her to stew. How could he take Eli out without her knowing? What was he thinking? With her adrenaline pumping, she followed him out of the bedroom ready to give Ben a piece of her mind.

              Vala sat perched on her bed, as if nothing were wrong. Eli ran around the living room with his toys, playing superhero. Ben had his back to her, and all she heard was the jangle of his spoon in a coffee mug. What could have been a pleasant morning, now put her on edge.

              “What are you doing?” she asked through clenched teeth, eyes held narrow.

              He turned toward her with a giant smile. “Good morning. Did you get some good sleep?”

              Maggie tightened her robe. Yes, she did— Not that it was his business. She ignored his question and shot back, “Why did you take Eli with you?”

              Ben’s smile flattened. “Oh. Um, I thought it was best if you got some solid rest. He was up at 6:15, so I thought,” his voice trailed off.

              “Well you thought wrong! If I woke up and didn’t see Ben, I would have thought the worst. I thought you’d understand that, after everything I shared with you.”

              By the look on Ben’s face, Maggie knew her point was sinking in. Eli took of his mask. “Don’t yell at Ben mommy. I wanted to go with him.”

              She saw a smudge of cream in his hair and knew he had a Boston cream donut with chocolate icing. It was too early for Eli to have all that sugar and besides, it was completely senseless for an adult to take someone’s child without their permission.

              Ben set his mug down. “Why don’t I let you guys have a peaceful morning. We can always talk later.”

              She walked to the fridge and opened it to survey what she wanted for breakfast. “Much later,” she snapped.              Ben headed to the door after giving Eli an enthusiastic goodbye. The child gave him a high five and spun around. Then he cupped his hands over his mouth, “Sorry Ben. Mom gets moody.”

              Maggie rolled her eyes. Yes, there were times when her anxiety over Eli’s safety was a bit much, but when Eli got older he would understand. Right now, she wanted her house back. This is exactly the kind of misunderstanding that told her she was not ready for a relationship, and may never be.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

              Eli had asked about Ben the whole way down the mountain, hoping he would make it to the play. Maggie tried to dodge his questions. Claire was waiting in the lobby when Maggie arrived; she looked so stylish Maggie felt antiquated.

              “Running late are we?”

              “Honestly, boys can get into so much trouble?”

              “What happened?”

              The two got in line and trailed the other parents into the auditorium.

              “First, Klaus called, somehow he misplaced a contract I saved on the computer and needed me to find it. Next, Eli, while I was busy doing that, wore his costume around the house and put a skid mark in the donkey’s knee. Lastly, while I was sewing it at the kitchen table, I found a note that Eli wrote me that morning, when he went out for breakfast. I however, jumped to conclusions and yelled at Ben.” She pulled at her own lip. “So now he’s not coming, at least I don’t expect him too.”

       The principal introduced the Kindergarten choir, and first grade class in their performance of Bethlehem. The lights dimmed as Maggie shuffled her arms out of her coat. Claire poised her camera, which took incredible shots in low light.

              When the curtain opened, most of the class stood on risers, singing a song. The backdrop, provided by the art department, was of a starry night. As they sang a herd of shepherds approached the stage.

              “Where’s Eli?” Claire asked as she leaned on her tip toes.

              “He plays the donkey. You’ll see.” Eli had explained how the first grader who played the part, actually stood beside him in a way it looked like he was carrying her on his back.

              “I can’t believe Ben is missing this,” Maggie said sadly.

              Claire looked her way. “You’re the one who was mean to him.”                            

              “What was I supposed to do? I woke up, after the best nights sleep in my life only to find out that Ben had taken Eli out of my home without telling me.”

              “Exactly. You had the best night sleep of your life. You need to stop thinking everyone is like Jack. Move on. Trust someone.”

              Maggie huffed. She was trying. Claire needed to stop pushing her.

              At the end of the play, Eli lifted off his facemask and beamed as mom and Claire took pictures. He waved hello, his hand whipping back and forth like he saw Santa in the back of the room.

              The children were dismissed by class to be with their families. Something again that made Maggie nervous. But when Eli bounded off the stage and ran to the back her heart sped up. Ben was there, in the back. Even in the dim light she could tell it was him.

              Her heart warmed, but yet again her guard was up. She did not want to be made a fool of and she wanted some boundaries in his relationship to Eli. He can’t just take off with him like that.

              Ben picked up Eli and weaved through the crowd. Claire elbowed her in the ribs, “Looks to me like this kidnapper of yours has a real heart.”

              Maggie pulled her shoulders back as the two approached. “Did you see me mom. Was I good?”

              “You were so good.  The best animal in the whole play.”

              Claire said hello to Ben and Eli interrupted. “We should go have hot chocolate. My teacher made us some backstage.”

              Claire ducked out claiming she had a last minute errand to run.  Ben leaned down to Maggie. “I take it you never found our note?”

              She smiled uncomfortably. “I did, just after you left.”

              She walked alongside him. “Look, after everything I explained, I was just expecting a little more caution and courtesy on your side. What may be common sense to most people is a difficult reach for me. I am on guard most of the time and I’m learning to trust more.” She looked at his gentle eyes. “It may take a while.”

              Ben put his arm around her. “I’m sorry I was insensitive. I hope it’s okay that I came.”

              With the way Eli was hanging all over Ben, she assured him it was.

              “Mom can I ride home with Ben?”

              Ben shook his head. “Not tonight buddy. I have to head back to Denver, just wanted to come say hi.”

              Eli’s shoulders caved in.

              Ben put his hand on the boy’s head. “It’s just till tomorrow. I’ll come see you when I get back.”

              “Okay.”

When Maggie pulled into the driveway she noticed one of her neighbors waving their arms. She pulled up toward the driveway and rolled down her window.

              “A mountain lion has been in the neighborhood. Keep your eyes open.”

              “Thank you. Who spotted it?”

              “No one. Mrs. Von Eiffer found part of a deer in the back yard.”

              Maggie stiffened. The mountain lion had a clear shot to her back yard from the Von Eiffers. She was on alert. She headed up the road, now with another thing on her mind. The last sight she needed to come upon was a half eaten deer or whatever animal the lion decided to feed on.

              Her high beams lit up the road as she approached the house.  A collection of papers had blown against the house. It wasn’t the first time the rogue winds delivered her neighbors recycling onto her property.

              She opened the garage door and ushered Eli into the house. Braving the wind she picked up the spare trash and cradled it against her. Most of it was newspaper advertisements that must have been picked up by the wind. She heard the tickle of a tin can as she scurried along. Reaching out to pick it up, she recognized the brand. Her heart stopped.

              Maggie shot straight up and looked around. That was Jack’s favorite beer. They didn’t sell this brand in Colorado.  It was from a brewery in New York.

              She left the can where it lay and hurried into the house. Maggie hurried to the blinds and closed each one. She commanded Vala to sweep the house and the dog obeyed.

              The soft snow settled over Cascade before Maggie went to bed. Her internet search of the NY brewery kept her up past two a.m.. Somewhere after that she fell asleep only to have a nightmare sweep over her. This time, it was near dark. Maggie was running on that lone road with the sound of the truck approaching. As she dodged into the forest she heard a faint cry, this time it was not Vala, nor Eli. The voice was her own.

              Her eyes flashed open as the sound of the TV pricked her ears. Eli was awake. She grabbed her cell phone and checked the time. It was after 8:00. Eli had probably fed himself, and if the ground was frozen, he was not going to school.

              Before Maggie could get dressed the phone rang. It was Mrs. Gable from school. The family was on their way up to enjoy the sledding hills.

She pulled up the weather app on her phone and confirmed the snow fall until late morning. She wouldn’t make it to work in weather like this, Klaus’s driveway would be plowed in and he was not the type to dig it out.

Maggie knew she would be stressed today, so allowing Eli to go play may be a good idea. “How’s noon?”

“Noon would be perfect. See you there?”

She hung up knowing exactly what she’d do with the free time. The first thing she was going to do after she got home was sort through that endless pile of mail, bills and the potential clients that had filled up her inbox.

Eli gobbled up an early lunch, washed his face and did whatever else mom had asked, including making the bed and tiding up his room. At 11:50 he was ready to head out. He lumbered out to the car with his sled in his hand. Maggie watched as he struggled to get it into the back seat.
Gosh, he’s getting so big.
With a final grunt he clicked his seatbelt and shouted, “All set mom!” She poured water into Vala’s bowl and shut the door behind her. Pulling out of the garage she took note that the snow had already begun to descend. Her music played as they drove down the street, Maggie casually looked for Ben’s car, should he have returned early.

“Will Ben be coming for dinner?”

She turned the corner. “I hope so sweetheart. You just play and have fun. Keep your hood up, so you don’t bang your head.”

“I will.”

The wildlife in Colorado was spectacular. All a child needed to do was open his eyes and Bears, deer, mountain lions, snow hares, foxes and giant squirrels could be seen. “Eli, do you remember the baby bear that climbed up the tree at the library?”             

Eli’s first Bear sighting was the very first weekend they visited the city. It was a welcome sign.

The car had barely come to a stop, when Eli jumped out of his booster seat and opened the door.  “Slow down.”

“Sorry mom, I’m just excited.”