Every Time We Say Goodbye (19 page)

‘She has so much on her plate, you both have; I’m worried about you.’

‘There’s no need, we’ll be grand. The one thing she was worried most about was telling the kids that they had to leave school. She decided to leave it till the last moment so they wouldn’t have time to get anxious about it, but me and my big gob; I let it slip just as we were walking out the door today.’

‘Oh no, how did they react?’

‘Well, that’s just it; Marianne explained everything to them on the way over and they don’t seem in the least bit bothered. Andrew is delighted that he’ll be able to walk to school or go on his bike and the real shocker; it turns out that Kate was being bullied in that feckin’ posh school, can you believe that?’

‘That’s awful. What happened to her?’

‘Some gang of kids were teasing her and making her miserable. We haven’t got to the bottom of it yet, but we will.’

‘If there’s anything I can do . . .’

‘You are doing more than enough, love, and that fella of yours is a diamond; you were lucky to get him.’

Helen looked around the garden until her eyes came to rest on her husband, who was now nodding gravely as Greg talked feverishly, hands waving. ‘I was, and I think I’d better go rescue him now; Greg’s on a tangent and Johnny looks like he might thump him.’

‘Ah, let him,’ Dot said. ‘Somebody should knock some sense into the misery guts.’

Helen laughed. ‘You may be right but I’m not having him ruin my party. Why don’t you go into the marquee and enjoy a glass of wine with Marianne and Jo? We’ll be cutting the cake soon, and no doubt my dear husband will have a few words to say.’

Dot looked around for Andrew and saw that he was having a ball playing chasing with some other children. ‘I will,’ she agreed.

Helen hurried towards her husband, easily the best-looking man there; Dot was right, she was lucky. As she neared, she could hear Greg holding forth and caught the word ‘development’. Oh great, that old hobby horse. He wasn’t the worst in the world but Dot was right, he never seemed to stop moaning and it was clear that he didn’t approve of Johnny and was jealous of his success.

‘They destroyed the city and ruined our heritage; it was a bloody travesty that the Woodquay Viking site wasn’t preserved,’ she heard him say as she arrived at their side.

My God, thirty years later and he was still going on about that, despite the fact that they were all children at the time. Johnny’s eyes were glazed as he stared into the middle distance. Thank God he wasn’t taking the bait today, she thought, and smiled when she saw that he was sipping water.

‘Everything okay, Greg? Did you get enough to eat?’

He turned, a flash of irritation crossing his face at the interruption, before he remembered his manners and nodded politely. ‘A feast fit for a king as always, Helen. Thank you.’

From anyone else that would be a compliment but from Greg it sounded like a criticism. ‘How can you be spending money on fancy parties at a time like this?’ was the underlying message. Helen chose to ignore it and slipped her arm through his.

‘Let’s go inside and join the others. We have a cake to cut. Darling, organize the champagne, would you?’

‘Yes, ma’am!’ Johnny saluted and mouthed a thank-you behind Greg’s back.

‘Di and Rachel are being a great help today, Greg; they’re lovely girls,’ Helen said.

‘Rachel is a good girl, but Di has a bit of a wild streak.’

‘She didn’t get that from her mother,’ Helen retorted.

‘No, of course not, but Joanna’s parents were nutters.’

Helen resisted the urge to punch him and pointed him towards his wife. ‘Jo and Marianne are sitting over there, Greg. Why don’t you grab a couple of chairs for you and Dot?’

Marianne laughed and applauded along with the others as Johnny spoke, regaling them with stories of his courtship with Helen. She was enjoying the party, glad now that the children knew about the move. She still wanted to get to the root of Kate’s problems at school but the little girl seemed content for the moment, sitting next to her and playing games on Marianne’s phone. Andrew was on her other side, half-asleep after all the action outside. Johnny was just finishing off and had called Helen to join him for the toast when Marianne’s phone beeped loudly.

‘Sorry!’ she exclaimed, snatching it from her daughter and switching it off.

‘But Mum—’ Kate protested.

‘Shush,’ Marianne hissed and turned her attention back to Johnny.

‘So, everyone, please join me in drinking to the health of my lovely wife,’ he was saying. ‘Thank you, my darling, for tolerating me for twenty years. I hope you’ll be able to live with me for another twenty as I get old and cranky.’

‘Crankier,’ Helen joked, turning her face up for his kiss.

After that toast, Johnny’s friend, Christy, voice slightly slurred, proposed another toast to the happy couple.

When they had taken their seats once more, the catering staff started to cut up the cake and the band turned up the volume and started to play jazz numbers.

‘He spoke well,’ Dot said.

Joanna smiled. ‘He always tells such great stories.’

‘Telling tales comes with the job,’ Greg muttered.

Marianne saw Jo shoot him an angry look and turned away, loathe to let her friend see that she had noticed. Taking a sip from her champagne flute, she switched her phone back on to make sure that Kate hadn’t left a game running. She really shouldn’t let the children play with it; the games always seemed to eat up her battery. But there was no game running, just a text message. A text message from Dominic. She knew it couldn’t be from him and yet she felt her heart leap in her chest. She hesitated for a moment and then pressed enter to read it.

STOP THIS. PLEASE STOP.

She frowned. What the hell? And then as she ran her eye up the screen and read the messages that had preceded it, the text made sense.

‘DADDY, ITS KATE. ARE YOU THERE, DADDY?’

‘ARE YOU IN HEAVEN?’

‘DADDY, PLEAS ANSER ME AND LET ME NO UR OK.’

‘I MISS YOU DADDY.’

Marianne’s glass slipped silently from her fingers, soaking the skirt of her dress.

‘Butterfingers,’ Dot laughed. ‘Good job it’s champers; it shouldn’t leave a stain.’

Marianne continued to stare in horror at her phone.

‘What is it, Marianne? What’s wrong?’ Jo asked.

Marianne looked up, suddenly conscious of her wet skirt clinging to her legs and Jo, Dot and Greg watching her curiously from the other side of the table.

‘Oh, it’s nothing. Just a member of the PTA committee giving out to me for not attending a meeting.’ She summoned up a smile and shoved the phone into her bag. ‘I’d better go and use Helen’s hairdryer on this, I’m a mess.’

‘I’ll come with you.’ Dot stood up. ‘I need to powder my nose.’

After Colm had shown them up to Helen’s room and fetched a hairdryer, Dot perched on the edge of the bed and looked expectantly at her daughter-in-law.

‘So what was all that about?’

Marianne sank onto the bed with a sigh. ‘Kate has been sending text messages to Dominic’s phone asking him is he okay and if he’s in heaven.’

‘Oh, holy mother of God, the poor love.’

‘And,’ Marianne pulled out the phone, ‘during Johnny’s speech, she got an answer.’

Dot blinked. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Whoever has the phone seems to have a conscience.’ Marianne read out the message. ‘“Stop this. Please stop.” I know it’s stupid, but for a second I thought it really was from him.’

‘Poor Kate.’

Marianne’s eyes widened. She had been so caught up in wondering who the text was from that she had completely forgotten her daughter. ‘I must talk to her.’

Dot stood up and hugged her. ‘Dry that dress and I’ll keep an eye on her till you get down. What will you tell her?’

‘That her daddy isn’t talking to her from the grave.’

‘Oh, bless us and save us,’ Dot said angrily, and crossed herself. ‘Are you going to reply to the message?’

Marianne stared at the phone and shook her head. ‘It can wait.’

When Marianne returned to the marquee, the tables had been cleared from the centre of the room and Johnny was waltzing Helen around the dance floor to one of her favourite Cole Porter songs: ‘Every Time We Say Goodbye’.

Jo was alone at the table.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked as Marianne took her seat. ‘That text seemed to really upset you.’

‘I was just trying to delete it and let the glass fall. Stupid of me; I should have put the bloody thing down first. Isn’t it a wonderful party?’ She smiled at her friend, knowing she would swallow her story; Helen wouldn’t be taken in so easily.

‘Lovely,’ Jo said, sounding wistful.

‘Where are the kids?’ Marianne looked around anxiously.

‘They’re outside having ice cream and Slush Puppies. Colm and Di are looking after them.’

‘I should go and check—’

‘Marianne, relax, they’re fine.’

‘I’m worried about Kate.’

‘Do you remember the day I first came to St Anne’s?’

Marianne nodded. ‘How can I forget it? You looked like a terrified little mouse.’

‘I was scared stiff. Between the nuns, the teachers, the kids and the noise, I was completely overwhelmed. I was more petrified that day than on my worst with Mam and Dad and I’d have given anything to go home.’

‘Those first few weeks you hardly opened your mouth; getting you to speak was like pulling teeth.’

‘I know. I was sure it was only a matter of time before you hurt me too. Sorry,’ Jo added.

Marianne stared at her. ‘You’re saying Kate’s afraid of getting hurt again.’

‘Maybe.’

Marianne stood up. ‘Thanks, Jo. I think I’ll go talk to her.’

‘Good luck.’

Marianne could see Kate shrink into her chair, her face frightened when she saw her mother coming, and her stomach clenched. Why couldn’t she reach her daughter?

‘Hi guys.’ She smiled at the children and pulled up a chair.

‘Hiya.’ Colm grinned. ‘Want a drink?’

‘Ugh, no, they look radioactive!’

She nodded at the blue concoction that Kate was drinking. ‘You realize that you’ll probably go blue now, don’t you?’

‘Don’t be silly,’ Kate said, but she smiled.

‘Look at mine!’ Rachel held up a fluorescent pink mixture.

‘At least it goes with your jeans,’ Marianne laughed.

‘I’m making a multi-coloured one,’ Andrew announced.

‘Does that mean you’ll have multi-coloured sheets tonight?’ Marianne shuddered.

‘Mum, that’s disgusting,’ Kate protested, but she was laughing.

‘Well, you’re not going to tell me that between the sugar and colouring, this is the healthiest mixture?’

‘We went very easy on the sugar,’ Di promised with a grin.

‘She did,’ Colm added, ‘but I threw in some more when she wasn’t looking.’

‘You’re kidding,’ Marianne winced.

‘Yes, I am,’ Colm laughed. ‘Popcorn?’

‘I couldn’t eat another thing after that feast; I’m surprised you lot can.’

‘We’re growing,’ Kate reminded her.

‘Especially you,’ Andrew said to his sister. ‘Soon your arse will be as big as Granny’s!’

‘Andrew!’ Kate and Marianne said together while the other children laughed.

‘What? I’m just saying what Granny says.’

‘Well don’t,’ Marianne warned. ‘And leave your sister in peace. I was going to get some drinks, Kate, will you come and help me?’

‘Okay.’ Kate eyed her suspiciously but got to her feet and followed her towards the house. ‘I thought the caterers got all the drinks for people.’

‘They do,’ Marianne took her hand and instead of leading her into the kitchen, drew her round the side of the house where it was quiet. ‘I just wanted a word.’

‘Oh, Mum,’ Kate whined.

‘You don’t have to say anything; you just have to listen. Okay?’

The child nodded but kept her head down.

Marianne wasn’t sure this would work; perhaps she was opening a whole new can of worms but she felt she had to try something drastic to get through to her daughter.

‘I was a tiny baby when I arrived at St Anne’s. Someone, I presume my mum, left me in a holdall in the reception of a busy hospital.’

‘Really?’ Kate’s head flew up in horror.

‘It was the perfect place to leave me,’ Marianne reassured her. ‘As soon as I started bawling I was discovered and handed in to the nurses. Not only was I warmly dressed, but there was a bag of baby clothes tucked in beside me, and a full bottle of formula and a page with all the details about my birth, weight, blood-type and the shots I had. Don’t you see, Kate, my mum loved me.’

‘How can you say that? She gave you away.’

‘Yes, but we don’t know why. She may have been only a child herself; her parents may have made the decision for her. She may have been sick or dying; she may have been really poor.’ Marianne shrugged. ‘There are a thousand reasons why she might have done it but, Kate, the point is that she made sure to leave me somewhere that I would be safe; she looked after me. I’m not sure how old I was when I was told but I cried.’

Kate’s hand found its way into hers and Marianne smiled, touched.

‘You know what though?’ she went on.

‘What?’

‘I stopped crying, Kate, because I realized that it didn’t change anything. For years I used to look at women in the street and wonder: is that her? You reminded me of that today, sending texts to your dad. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that though he died, you still have tons of wonderful memories and he will always be with you,’ she placed their joined hands over Kate’s heart, ‘in here.’

‘You don’t have any memories of your mum,’ Kate pointed out tearfully.

‘No, I don’t, but how can I miss what I never had? I was a happy child, I had some lovely people mind me so, in a way, I had lots of mums! And I had Aunty Helen who was like a big sister and still is.’ Marianne gently wiped Kate’s wet cheeks. ‘Now, shall we go home?’

Chapter Seventeen

Rob called Marianne the minute he got back to Dublin, but all he’d got was her answering service. He felt disappointed and frustrated and phoned Johnny in the hope of gleaning more information and getting things moving, but the man had been equally vague and obviously dying to get off the phone. On the plus side, the contract was signed and he would move in to Marianne’s house – Marianne’s bed – in five weeks.