Everybody Knows (3 page)

“Is there anything in there I can have a look at?” I asked, tapping the cover of Jason’s book.

“There’s not much in there. A few lines I jotted down, but they haven’t turned into anything yet.” He tilted his chin, gesturing towards my book. “Anything in
there
I can have a look at?”

My jaw dropped. “No! I mean, there’s not much in here either, but this is different. Eventually my private thoughts will be written in here. They’re not really for other people to see.”

Jason smiled. “You don’t think my lyrics are private?”

“Not if you plan to turn them into songs for the world to hear.”

“They’re still my thoughts, though. They’re still a part of me.”

I’d never thought of it that way. That his lyrics were a part of him. It was obvious, really. To write words that other people can feel, they have to mean something to the person who penned them. They have to reach into the souls of people who have never met him, and touch them the way whatever inspired the words touched him. Just because Razes Hell was a rock band, didn’t mean they didn’t write poignant lyrics. They even threw in an occasional heavy ballad now and again.

“In that case, you’re very brave.” I smiled. “Takes balls to throw your feelings out there like that.”

“Balls of steel.” Jason winked at me, making me laugh again.

This is going to be okay. I didn’t even blush at the mention of Jason’s gigantic steely balls.

Did I?

Eager to steer the conversation away from anything that might embarrass me, I asked Jason about his writing process, and as we talked, already I started to see another side to him and we hadn’t even left the country yet. In the past our conversations were usually silly and fun, or just plain basic since, when our families got together, there were always so many other people to speak to that we didn’t have time for much more.

I was in big trouble. Barely away from home and I was ready to disregard everything Ellie had said to me after one conversation with Jason.

Chapter 3 – Eiffel Tower Selfie

“Is this… it?”

Drew laughed as I dropped my suitcase and glanced around my room at the hotel that was to be our home for the next two nights. From the outside, it hadn’t looked so bad, but inside it was kind of… budget. Not that I had a right to complain; I’d paid for very little of the trip, but I’d still expected at least Premier Inn standards, even for somewhere inexpensive. The walls were an ugly brown, as were the curtains. The carpet was clean but worn, and the amenities were basic in the extreme. There was a kettle and some tea and coffee sachets – nothing more. Not even a hairdryer, unless it was hiding in a cupboard somewhere.

“You were expecting The Ritz?” Mack asked as he peered inside.

“No. But… well, this is very… simplistic.”

“Welcome to the world of rock and roll,” Drew said, still laughing. “Are you going to be okay on your own while we find our rooms, and shower and stuff?”

I nodded. “Yeah, of course. I need to call home anyway. Mum made me promise to let her know when we arrived.”

“Give us say… an hour and a half,” Jason said, standing up on his tiptoes to see over the shoulders of Drew and Mack. “Then we’ll head out and find a place to party!”

I grinned, but Drew shook his head. “Nope. Dinner and an early night tonight.”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Alright, Mr Responsible, but you’re not killing our fun every night.”

“He’s right.” I looked up at Drew. “There has to be some partying on this tour.”

“There will be. But tonight we need to rest up because once we start moving, we won’t get much time for anything, including sleep.”

The tour schedule was pretty intense. Our next night off wasn’t for eight days, and in that time we’d be stopping in four different countries. And hotels? Forget it. Once we left Paris, we’d be on a tour bus. Glancing around the room again, mild panic filled me as I realised this would be the last night I’d spend in my own space for a long time. Maybe this place wasn’t so bad after all. Even with the drab décor.

“Okay, guys,” I said, suddenly desperate to get them out of my room so I could enjoy my freedom before it vanished for the summer. “Come get me when you’re ready.”

Drew smiled as if he understood, and placed my other suitcase on the floor. “See you in a while.”

The other guys said goodbye, and when I closed the door behind them, I leaned back against it and sighed. Life on the road was getting real already, and this was my first major moment of doubt since Razes Hell invited me along. Perhaps this was what my parents were worried about. That I’d get away from home and freak out because I hadn’t thought it through properly.

Except I
had
thought it through. So many sleepless nights, and not just from overexcitement. I truly had considered every angle, and every reason I’d told my parents about why I could handle this had been carefully mulled over and re-hashed in my brain. I knew I’d have little time alone, and I knew I’d have to live in a tiny space filled with boys. It hadn’t bothered me because I knew the positives would outweigh the negatives.

That’s what you need to do right now. Think of the positives.

Right. First and foremost, almost free world travel. Seeing places I’d have had to save for a long time to get to alone.

An experience very few people in the world would ever have. Aside from Ellie and the band members’ girlfriends, not many would have the chance to tour with Razes Hell in their bus.

A chance to document a tour. Surely that would be useful at some point and in some way through my journalism career?

A chance to get to know
all
of the band better. To see how they worked together and apart. To see rehearsals, and sound checks, and maybe a little of their writing process.

A chance to get closer to Jason…

Shaking my head, I shot that thought down before it had a chance to take hold. On the train journey, Jason and I had spoken about numerous things. I felt like he’d listened and considered my thoughts and opinions on whatever topic we were discussing, and it had felt really good. But the tour was only just starting. Way too soon to get carried away.

I pushed away from the door and straightened up. After many hours of travelling, I needed to shower, change and get ready to head out again. I knew I’d need a lot of the ninety minutes I’d been given to extract what I needed from my suitcases and then put it all back in so I could zip them up again. With a sigh, I set to it. It was time to get ready for my first taste of Paris!

**

I truly hadn’t expected the guys to be so punctual. Thankfully, I was ready. Freshly showered and dressed in jeans and a white vest top with silver studs on the straps, I greeted them with a smile and we headed out of the hotel and into the city. The guys were dressed as inconspicuously as they could manage – that was one thing that had gotten easier since Jason ditched the brightly coloured hair – in the hopes that we’d be left alone on our first night away. It had gotten more and more difficult for them to go out in public, and once the tour started properly, we’d have security with us to keep any crazy fans at bay. For the time being though, we were on our own.

Our hotel was centrally located, and right away, my breath was taken as I stepped onto the street. When we’d arrived, I was too focused on getting to my room to truly take in the sights, but once I was refreshed, I was knocked out by everything that greeted me. My greedy eyes tried to take in everything at once, and I walked right into Mack as I stared at some people and their dog across the street who were randomly dancing to a song that blared from a shop doorway. And yes, the dog was dancing too, up on his hind legs like something out of Britain’s Got Talent.

“Sorry.” I shook my head, stepping back and shifting my focus back to Mack.

He laughed, his blond hair swinging around his face. “There’s a lot to look at, don’t worry about it.”

We kept walking, my eyes still soaking up as much detail as possible of cafes, bars, and hotels.

“We’re going to see the Eiffel Tower, right?” I asked, because it was pretty much the only thing I knew about Paris, aside from Disneyland, and I knew we wouldn’t have time to go there. Obviously, it was impossible not to see it from a distance, but distance wasn’t what I had in mind.

“Tomorrow,” Drew promised.

“Can’t we go tonight?” Jason asked. “It looks incredible at night.”

I grabbed his arm and he turned to me. My eyes widened at his words. “You’ve been here before? What’s the tower like?”

He shook his head. “No. But I’ve seen photos.” Laughing, I rolled my eyes, and he slung his arm around my shoulders. “Don’t be disappointed, Luce. It means we can see it for the first time together.”

My heart fluttered inside my chest at his cheesy, tongue-in-cheek line and his closeness, but it soon stopped when Drew threw him a look of… warning, maybe? His eyes darkened, and Jason gave him the slightest nod but didn’t remove his arm from around me.

What’s that all about?
It wasn’t as if Jason had never touched me before. We hugged at every family occasion and we’d had more than one cushion fight after an intense battle on the PS3 that had resulted in us collapsing in laughter, our arms brushing as we fought to regain control of ourselves. This was hardly any different. And why was Drew bothered if Jason had his arm around me, anyway? He knew as well as I did that nothing would ever happen because Jason only saw me as Ellie’s little sister.

“So what do we want to eat?” Mack asked, putting a much needed dent in the awkward atmosphere. We turned the corner at the end of the street, and were met with yet more bars and restaurants with tables outside, and people sitting around them, relaxing with a glass of wine or a beer. The women, even dressed casually, were sophisticated and elegant – a far cry from the hairy stereotypes we’re led to believe in. And the men? Handsome and suave, or at least they were compared to the guys back home.

“Anything but pizza,” I said. I’d eaten more than enough of that the night before. “Can we try something French?”

“Like snails?” Joey screwed up his face in disgust.

“Maybe.” I was up for anything on this trip, and that included as many local dishes as possible during our short stay overs.

“You know what’s good?” Mack asked. “Hachis Parmentier. Rosie and I tried it last time we were here.”

“What is it?”

“It’s like a French version of a Shepherd’s Pie, but it tastes different somehow. I don’t know what they do to it, but it’s bloody delicious.”

“Sounds good. So where do we find a traditional French restaurant around here?” It may have sounded like a dumb question, but there were restaurants offering food from all over the world; it was best not to assume we would find a French eatery easily.  After some investigation on Drew’s phone, we found a cute French bistro ten minutes’ walk away.

The food was incredible. I wondered why British people have “classics” like pie and mash, and fish and chips, when France has delicacies like Sole Meuniere, and Hachis Parmentier. Not that I don’t love the English stuff, but French dining is certainly more elegant. And we had two days to eat more.

Once dinner was over, Mack and Drew wanted to go back to the hotel, and Jason and I wanted to go to the Eiffel Tower. Joey had no opinion either way.

“We don’t have to do everything together,” Mack pointed out. “If Lucy and Jason want to explore, they should.”

Drew eyed Jason again and I narrowed my eyes. What the hell was his problem? He was acting like he was
my
overprotective big brother and I wondered if Ellie had told him to look out for me while we were away.

What was I thinking? Of course she would have, but as far as I could tell, there was nothing for him to watch out for.

“I think we should go.” I turned to Jason, ignoring Drew’s stare. “We don’t have to stay for long.”

Jason tore his gaze from his brother and looked at me. “Agreed. Let’s do this.”

Once the rest of the guys had headed back to the hotel, Jason and I began the walk towards the tower.

The evening air was warm, even though it was almost ten. People still milled around, walking leisurely by the river. Some stopped to stare at the view, but I was more interested in watching the other people we shared this moment with. I’d gone all poetic since I’d got on the train, suddenly seeing the magic and beauty in every moment. It was much easier to do in Paris than in Cornwall or Sheffield. Not that Cornwall and Sheffield didn’t have their own kind of magic, but it was the same magic. Over and over. Paris was new. It seemed as though every person around us felt it too.

“I think you might be my sanity on this trip, Lucy.” I turned my head to look up at Jason, unsure I’d heard him correctly. Sanity? Me? Jason smiled. “I get bored easily. If we’d gone back to the hotel, I wouldn’t have slept. I’d have probably gone back out to a bar or something until some of the adrenaline wore off.”

Couldn’t say I didn’t understand. It was too early to go back to my room. I was buzzing on the fact that I was away. There would be a lot of places we wouldn’t get a chance to fully explore, but we had time in Paris, and I didn’t want to waste a second. Watching French TV alone would definitely have felt like a waste.

“Well, any time you want some company, just let me know.” I grinned.

“I’m glad you’re here. It’s been hard since everything happened last year. Drew still finds it difficult to relax and trust me since the relapse. Mack and Joey are worried too, but they handle it better. I think you’re going to be the only person on the tour who isn’t staring at me, waiting for me to crack again.”

“That’s not true, Jason.”

Not
completely
true. Drew did find it hard to trust Jason. They had been through counselling to fix their relationship, and it had made a huge difference. But some scars don’t heal. Jason had done so many things to Drew and Ellie when he’d been high on drugs that, no matter what, there would always be some doubts. As for me, well, I worried too. But in a much less obvious way. The way I viewed it, Jason had to be allowed the freedom to keep living, otherwise, what was the point? He may as well have died in that hospital bed if he wasn’t allowed out of anyone’s sight, or given the trust to go his own way.

“This is only the beginning, Luce. As the tour rolls on, you’ll see it.”

I just shrugged. He knew better; it was his life. “Do you know why Drew kept glaring at you when you suggested us going off on our own?”

Jason laughed. “I told you. He doesn’t trust me.”

“Doesn’t trust you with me?”

“Doesn’t trust me not to do something inappropriate.”

“Such as?”

“Hit on you, Lucy. He doesn’t trust me not to hit on you.”

My jaw dropped. It was no secret that I’d be totally okay with him hitting on me – well, maybe it was a secret to Jason – but the idea he had thought about it in any way blew my mind.

“You’re not going to hit on me,” I said. “Why would you?”

Jason wrapped his arm around my shoulders again. “Of course I’m not. But like I said, he worries.”

If I hadn’t totally prepared myself for that comment, it would have hurt. The fact was, I was resigned to the way things were. I was the girl who silently liked the guy without saying a word, because being in his life as a friend was better than making things awkward with a confession that wouldn’t get me anywhere.