Everything (26 page)

“Hey, I’m here for you, whatever you need me to be.”

He lifted my chin with his finger to his mouth and kissed me gently at first, but when he went to pull back, I grabbed him, wanting more. I desperately wanted him make me forget about the past two days, the deaths, the forgetting aunt, the conniving uncle, and secretive sister—all of it.

As I leaned farther into the kiss, I wrapped both my arms around his neck and kissed him harder, and all too soon, he broke away, panting hard.

“Babe, don’t get me wrong, because it’s been two whole days since you kissed me like this, but I don’t think now is a good time to do this, especially here.”

“Why not? No one is home.” I kissed him again, more forcefully.

I pushed my hands through his hair, and he kissed me back, his breathing getting heavier, then he pushed away from me again. Dammit!

“You really have to stop kissing me like that,” he breathed, moving out of my grasp.

“Ugh! What is with you? I’m practically throwing myself at you, and you say no?” I yelled. Couldn’t he see I just needed my mind taken off all the shit for five minutes? Ten, if I was lucky.

“Babe, I get it, I do. But I wouldn’t be a very good boyfriend if I took advantage of you when you’re in such a weakened state,” he said, then more to himself, “Did I just say that?”

“I’m not in a weakened state. I just want sex!” I replied angrily, hitting my fist to my sides.

“I know the kind of sex you want. I just can’t give it to you, at least not right now.”

“You’re my boyfriend. You’re supposed to give me what I want. You’re my island, for crying out loud!” I threw my hand in the air, exasperated.

“I’m giving you what you
need
. You will thank me for this one day, even though you can’t see it now, even though I can’t see it now.”

“Just go, Trevor,” I spat angrily.

“Babe.” He looked hurtfully at me.

“Either give me what I want or go.” I stared at him.

 
I heard the front door open, and Tina and Ms. D walked in with grocery bags. Trevor stood there staring at me a moment and then went to help them with the bags. I took that time to stomp up the stairs to Aria’s room and slam the door.

I don’t know what I was mad about, the fact that I couldn’t just get my mind taken off all of this for five fucking minutes or the fact that Trevor was right and I was already starting to see that I yelled at him and made an ass of myself. I lay down on the bed faceup and stared at the ceiling until Tina came in and lay on Aria’s bed.

“So what’s up? What did he do?”

“What do you mean?” I sighed out.

“Well, the lump was all mopey, not that I care,” she clarified. “Then he helped with the groceries and you slammed the door, which I haven’t heard you do since high school. So what’s up? What did he do?”

“Why do you assume it’s what he did? I could have done something incredibly stupid, you know.”

“This is the lump we are talking about.”

I rolled over and propped myself onto my elbow on my side. “He wouldn’t sleep with me.”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you correctly.”

“You heard me. He. Wouldn’t. Sleep. With. Me,” I emphasized each word.

She waited for me to explain, so I began to tell her the whole story, starting from the texts with Aria and Riley, ending with me attacking Trevor in the kitchen and him turning me down for my own good.

“Okay,” Tina said, “this is going to make the walls come crashing down on my world, and if you ask me in the future if this happened, I will deny it. But he was right.”

I looked at her wide-eyed for a full minute, and she held my eyes, and then held up her hand in a defensive pose.

“I know, I know, apocalyptic. But you see where you went a little cuckoo for coco puffs, right?”

“Yeah, I saw the second I came up here. I just was to shamefaced to call him and apologize.”

“Call him for what? He’s still downstairs.” She rolled her eyes.

He didn’t leave.

“I can’t believe he didn’t leave after the way I kicked him out,” I admired.

“Me, either, I would have hit the door in a minute.”

“It’s a good thing we don’t date then, isn’t it?”

“You could never handle all this.” She gestured to herself.

“You are so right.” I shook my head, getting up.

“I guess I should go downstairs, huh?”

“Nah, let him suffer awhile longer.”

“You are so evil. When you have a boyfriend, you will see.”

“My boyfriend won’t be as stupid as the lump.”

“Would you stop calling him that?”

She looked as though she considered it, then said, “Nah, it’s catchy.”

I went downstairs and found him on the couch with his hands behind his head and eyes closed, as though he were asleep.

“Hey,” I said cautiously.

He looked over at me, not sure if I was still in my bad mood or if I had calmed down.

“Hey?”

“I’m sorry, babe. You were right. I just wanted to forget for a while about everything, and I knew you could make that happen. I guess I was just using you in a sense, and that was wrong of me. I’m sorry.” I held my head shamefully.

He patted the couch for me to sit next to him, and I did.

“First off, if you ever want to use me like that in the future, I’m okay with that.” He smiled wolfishly at me. “Second, it’s okay. I kind of figured that’s what it was when you started attacking me in the kitchen. I’m just glad I restrained myself, and man, it was hard.”

“That was kind of the goal,” I smirked.

“Funny, but you know what I mean.”

“I do, and I’m sorry,” I apologized again.

“You don’t ever have to say that to me in that instance.” He sighed and dragged me to him in a side hug.

I wound my arms around his waist, thankful that I had an understanding and patient boyfriend who didn’t mind when his girlfriend sexually assaulted him in her kitchen and then kicked him out.

Tina came downstairs and, seeing that we made up, smiled a sarcastic smile and clapped. “Oh, goody. The happy couple made up.”

“Next time you need help with those grocery bags, ask your boyfriend—oh, wait,” Trevor replied just as sarcastically.

Tina shot him a bird and went into the kitchen to see what her mom was doing.

“Why do you antagonize her?”

“It’s fun,” he shrugged.

It was getting late, and Aria still wasn’t home yet. I was about to text her or Riley again when the door opened and they walked in.

“Hey. Oh, hey, Trev.” Aria came over and hugged Trevor.

Trevor gave her a hug and bumped a fist with Riley.

“Did you guys have fun?” I looked pointedly at Riley, trying to ascertain where they had been.

“I know you’re going to tell her.” Aria rolled her eyes, looking at Riley.

Riley smiled sheepishly at her, then turned back to me.

“We just went over to Spinner’s to meet some of the drama people who wanted to see her and see how she was doing. Nothing sinister happened, I swear.” He held up the Scout’s Honor hand sign.

“What does my sister have on you that makes you follow every single order she gives?” Aria asked, annoyed.

“I could tell you, but then she’d order me to kill you.”

Aria rolled her eyes, but I thought it was pretty funny.

“Thanks, Riley. You’re a good friend. When I’m taking over the world and killing off the little people, I’ll remember not to kill you.”

“You mean I’m not going to be the head minion?” he joked.

“Head minion, please—more like
the
minion.”

Trevor shook his head. “I never got you guys’ humor.”

I patted his hand. “I know, baby, and not many people do.”

“Whatever, Ri-Ri. Thanks for getting me out tonight. I needed this.”

“Hey, no problem. If I knew it was going to cause a problem though, I would have talked to Dac first.”

“Ugh, she’s not my mom. She is my sister, and I’m eighteen.”

Not this again. Before she could turn this into a fight, Riley spouted that he was leaving and asked if it was okay if he came to the service.

“Of course, Ri-Ri. Just the offer to come means more than you will know. We thought just family would be attending.”

“I want to be there to support you guys.”

We told him that it was set for Saturday, although we didn’t know what time and would text him with it later, then he left. Then I asked Aria if Mick had come back while I had been asleep.

“Oh, he came back all right. You missed a doozy.” She laughed, remembering something funny. “He came back asking about the safe in Mom and Dad’s room and if we knew the combinations, and when I said that they had two separate ones, he went on about ‘Well, maybe they had their wills in there’ and we needed to check them out right now and go, go, go, and then Auntie said what was the rush and kept calling him ‘slick’ and what was eating his pants so bad that it couldn’t wait until after the funeral? Then they went back and forth, and Uncle Mick’s face got red and Opal started calling him names, and Mrs. D had to calm everyone down, then Mick stormed out, saying he would see everyone tomorrow. It was really funny,” she finished.

I slept through that? Why didn’t Tina tell me that when we were upstairs talking? What was he up to? Why was he so concerned about our parents’ will? He couldn’t take things if it was decreed in a will, could he? So many questions, and I didn’t have an answer to anything.

“What is your uncle up to?” I pondered out loud.

“Beats me, but Aunt Opal said to keep on our toes and never let him get his hands on their wills if they had them. She wants us to look for them after the funeral when he’s not here.”

“Yeah, she said the same to me about Mick, not about the wills.”
 

Aria shrugged and said she was full-on fried junk and going to bed. She hugged me good-night, then confessed, “I’m sorry about earlier. I don’t mean to be a brat, I swear, I’m just in a strange place and I don’t know how to act except be a brat.”
 

I guess the time with her friends helped. It was the first time since the accident that I felt like my sister was my sister.

“I know this is hard for you, but we can get through this together if we are honest and stick together.”

“I’m trying, Dac. I really am. I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

“I know.”

She wiped a tear from her big brown eyes and said good-night again.

There had been so much crying, so much. I was tired of seeing tears in her eyes, tired of tears being in my eyes, and I knew that they would never fully dissipate over the years to come but they would start to after the funeral. We needed the funeral to start the healing process.

“Hey, where are you right now?” Trevor touched my cheek with the back of his fingers.

I leaned into his touch. “Hum, just want this all to be over, for the healing to begin.”

“It will be. Just give it time.”

Mrs. D came around the corner and said she made something other than casserole for dinner, and I was grateful because I was starving, but if I had to eat another casserole, I was going to cut someone. She had made her famous
arroz con pollo
,
chicken and rice, and I devoured it, since I hadn’t had a home-cooked meal since Mom’s meal the night Mick was in town.

Thinking of that night was bittersweet. It was filled with such a good memory of the surprise of Aria’s play but now such a sad one because Mom wouldn’t be able to see her in it if she got the part.

I didn’t even know if Aria wanted to do the play anymore because of the notion it held. I would have to ask her.

I made small talk with Tina, and Trevor stayed and ate with me even though he had already eaten some casserole earlier. When I gave him a questioning look, he shrugged his shoulders and replied with “I’m a guy,” as if that explained why he was eating again, which I have to admit—it did.

When we were done, I offered to help clean the kitchen or wash the dishes or something, but Mrs. D simply shooed me out of the kitchen and Tina merrily shook her head at me.

“Give it up. Why do you think these hands are dishwater free? She spoils,” Tina said.

“I just thought you were lazy.”

“That too, but she lives for it. She won’t let you wash a plate or help unless it’s cooking.”

I felt bad, like I was talking advantage of her kindness. When I voiced this, she told me I was being ridiculous.

“It’s the least I can do. Besides, I will be leaving Saturday evening. Mr. Delgado is complaining that he has to eat takeout, although he understands and sends his regards.”

“I still feel bad. I feel like I’m treating you like a slave.”

“I’m sure every parent feels like a slave to their children, dear. And I do consider you my child, you and Aria. So please, it’s no trouble.
No se preocupe
.” She came over and gave me a tight hug.

“I don’t know how I could repay you for what you have done.”

“Don’t give up, and take care of yourself and your sister. That’s how,” she said.
 

I nodded to her, and she pulled back, dabbing at her eyes.

“Could you guys be any more Lifetime right now?” Tina scoffed lightly.

“Help me freeze the leftovers for the girls, so they have something other than casserole.”

I shot her a bird behind her mother’s back. She kissed her middle finger and stuck it out at me as I went to walk Trevor to the door.

Trevor had decided not to stay simply because his back couldn’t take the couch anymore and it was mother-son date night tomorrow, which he volunteered to cancel and I told him no.

“If anything, you need to keep it and spend as much time with your mom as possible. Not to sound all ‘greeting card,’ but tomorrow is not promised.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not on any greeting card, and if it is, it’s a really shitty one,” he said.

Now, as I stood there knowing I wouldn’t see him tomorrow night, I wanted to be selfish and tell him never mind, but I knew that would be wrong.

“Where are you guys going?” I asked him.

“I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.” He bent down to give me a kiss and paused right before he reached my lips. “Am I safe?” he asked with a smirk.