Everything (32 page)

“What’s this?” She eyed it suspiciously.

“It’s a new pudding, with fruit,” I lied.

She shrugged and opened it and dug in, putting a big spoonful in her mouth.

“S’not bad. I’ll take three more of these then.” She shoved two more spoonfuls into her mouth.

While she was devouring the yogurt, I made a mental note to get her more fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt.

When she was done with the yogurt, I told her I was leaving for school and I would see her the day after tomorrow.

“That’s fine, chile. You don’t haffta remind me every time. I know.”

“I’m just making sure, Auntie.”

She eyed me as I was walking to the kitchen door, so much that I stopped and asked what was wrong.

“You all right, chile? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“I’m okay, Auntie, just tired lately.”

“No, it ain’t that. This is deeper. Your soul is wounded.” She tilted her head to the side.

“Well, my parents just died, so...” I trailed off, hoping she would buy that.

“You can’t fool me, chile. That ain’t it either. Somethin’ ain’t right about you. You off,” she poked me in the ribs.

“Ow! Auntie, that huts.”

“You been eatin’ right?”

While Mrs. D had kept to her word and fixed food every time she was in town, which seemed to be almost every weekend, I barely ate it, as I wasn’t hungry these days.

“Yes, Auntie. We still have leftovers from the last time Mrs. D was in town,” I lied.

“Well, all right, but still. Somthin’ off about you. Go on get to school.” She narrowed her eyes at me as I closed the door, then peeked at me from behind the curtain while I got into my car until I drove away.
 

I didn’t really give much thought to Aunt Opal’s accusations of something being off with me because she wasn’t wrong. Something was off with me. I just couldn’t put into words what it was. I couldn’t explain to Opal and Aria that everything that was wrong with me was them—not them literally, but the pressure of them, the impeding issue of Opal’s sickness, the pressure of this police report and what it could mean to Aria and her conscience, and then there was Trevor. I had thought he loved me, but he didn’t, and then I thought Wally hadn’t loved me when he did. Irony, like life, was a cruel bitch.

By the time I got to school, it was clear that everyone knew about the little fiasco at Opal’s that morning, although no one approached me as they would have weeks ago, and since I had closed myself off this past week, I walked the hall oblivious to the stares. Okay, not oblivious, just not caring as much anymore.
 

I pretended not to notice Riley pass me in the hall. Normally, he would get the hint and keep going, but today he turned around.

“So you made bail already?” he joked.

“Yeah, I gave the officer a blow job and he let me go,” I deadpanned, still walking.

He didn’t laugh. “I was kidding, Dac. I’m sorry,” he said, looking hurt.

“I wasn’t. Look, Riley, I’m in a hurry. Did you need something?”

He grabbed my arm to stop me from walking, and I let him.

“I know” was all he said, and I knew what he was referring to. I averted my eyes because I was not going to break at school. I was not.

“Yeah, well.”

“He’s a dick, and just say the word and I’ll avenge you for him.” He looked me in the eye very seriously.

It warmed my heart that he would offer. I gave him a weak smile and patted his arm. “Thanks, Riley, but no. You know Trevor would Hulk Smash you with like one hit.”

“I know, right.” He breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you for saying no,” he smiled.

I smiled big, something I hadn’t done since I couldn’t remember when. “Thanks, Riley, I needed that smile—you have no idea.”

“I know you did. I’ve noticed,” he said, turning serious.

“I need time, Riley,” I said in a small voice.
 

He let go of my arm, and I turned and walked to my next class.

Later in the day, I texted Aria and told her to come straight home from school, no exceptions, it was important. When she asked why, I told her just to come home and she said okay. If I told her Officer Parks had the report back, she would freak the rest of the day and not be able to function.

I was first to get home, at five fifteen, and wasn’t at all surprised to find that Officer Parks was already parked on the side of the road, waiting. When he saw me, he got out and met me as I was getting out of my car.

“Miss Harper,” he tipped his head by way of a hello.

“Dacey. Call me Dacey, please.”

“What an unusual name. I wanted to mention it earlier, but there were other pressing things going on,” he commented as he followed me up the walkway to the front door.

“It’s Gaelic. My birth mom picked it out before I was born,” I explained as I unlocked the door. He held it open for me.

“So it was your stepmom that was in the accident?”

“No, she was my mom,” I said defensively. I had come to despise the word “step” since Mick had put such an emphasis on it.

Officer Parks held his hands up defensively. “Whoa, I didn’t mean to offend you. I was just trying to get the familial bonds straight.”

I immediately felt guilty. “I’m sorry, it’s not you. It’s just that Ann raised me since I was nine, and before that, I didn’t have a mom. She’s all I’ve ever known, so she is my mom, no ‘step,’ and Aria is my sister, ‘no step.’ Got it?”

“I think I do now,” he said with a smirk.

I gestured to the kitchen. “Would you like a glass of water?”

“Sure.”

We went into the kitchen, and he sat at the kitchen table, legs spread apart, just like a cop, I assume to make room for what I like to call their utility belt. Or other things.

“Aria should be here any minute. She will want to hear the report too.”

For the first time, I noticed that he had a manila folder tucked under his arm that was now placed on the table in front of him. My palms had started to sweat, even though I had told Aria that this didn’t matter to me. If Mom was driving, this would shatter Aria. There would be no coming back from this for her, and I didn’t know if I could live with that.

“It’s just a field report. Why do you look like you’re going to be sick? There is nothing telling in the report,” he said, misunderstanding my unease.

“It’s not that. I’m just...It’s nothing.”

He crinkled his forehead. “Part of my job as an officer is also to talk to the families, so you can talk to me, Dacey. What’s on your mind?”

I don’t know what made me confide in him, maybe because he was a stranger and not from this town, or maybe it was his eyes—they were the color of an autumn leaf, a golden brown, and made me want to tell things to them. Maybe I was just tired of keeping everything to myself and wanted someone to talk to who was an outsider. Whatever the reason, I found myself telling him the information about the text message and how it was crucial that we knew who was driving so that my sister could be put at ease. And when I was done, I felt marginally better, but I wouldn’t feel better until I knew.

He sat and listened, and when I was done, he looked sadly at me.

“Even if the report says your mother was driving, you girls should get some kind of counseling. This type of loss is great and can’t be dealt with alone, and I can recommend some places.”

“Uh, maybe. I’ll have to talk to A. Let’s just get through the next ten minutes, huh?”

I heard her car door slam, then ten second later, I heard her barrel through the door.

“Dacey! Oh, no! What’s the matter? Why is there a cop outside—” She stopped short once she saw Officer Parks sitting at the kitchen table.

“A, this is Officer Parks. He’s the one who was on the scene when Mom and Dad had their accident,” I calmly explained, although I was anything but, my insides in knots.

She registered why he was there quickly enough. “You have the final report.”

He nodded and extended his hand. “Hello, Aria. I’m Officer Parks. Why don’t we all have a seat?” He gestured to the chairs in front of him.

We sat stiffly in the chairs as if they were foreign to us and waited for him to begin.

“I’m no good at speaking in layman terms so that you guys understand, so please forgive me. I’m going to make this as civilian as possible, all right?”

We each nodded, unable to speak, choked by fear. Aria grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it. It was the first kind of physical contact we had in a week. I felt guilty that I hadn’t been there for her this past week. That guilt had me longing for my parents’ room once more.

By the time Officer Parks finished up, the kitchen had become so quiet you could hear a mouse fart.

Aria cleared her throat. “Who...who was the driver?” she asked softly.

Officer Parks made a show of looking back into his notes, though I knew he already knew the answer since he had told me he typed up the report. “Um, Mr. Harper appeared to be the driver. He was ejected, and Mrs. Harper was still in the vehicle when I arrived on scene.”

Aria’s hand, which had been white-knuckling mine, relaxed, and she let out a small sigh that only I could hear.
 

Internally, I let out a sigh. Finally, she could forgive herself and not think she was responsible for our parents’ death.

“I really am sorry, girls. It’s a hard thing to lose someone, especially a parent. I can’t imagine what this must be like for you guys, but know you can start to put this tragedy behind you. It does get easier with time, I can promise you that. Here is my card. If you guys have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to call me.” He handed the business card to me and stood to leave, gathering his manila folder.
 

I looked down at the card. His first name was Justin, Justin Parks. Hum.

Aria thanked him and lingered in the kitchen to start dinner, which meant heating up leftovers, and I walked Officer Parks to the door.

“Thank you for making that as easy as possible. You really did lift at least one weight off my shoulder,” I joked halfheartedly.

“You shouldn’t have nearly as many weights on your shoulder as you do.”

“You’re right, but what can I do?” I shrugged.

He looked as though he was about to say something, then thought better of it and dipped his head to say good-bye, turned, and left.

I breathed a sigh and went into the kitchen to find Aria placing two plates on the table and waiting for the microwave to ding. I thought I should tell her I wasn’t hungry. I started to when she started talking.

“Today was just full of good news,” she beamed.

The microwave dinged, and she took out the dish and started portioning the food onto the plates.

“None for me. I’m beat. And what other good news did you get today?”

She eyed me like she always did when I told her I wasn’t hungry. “Dacey, you have to eat, I know things are...you know right now, but you still have to eat. And I got the part I wanted in
The Frost
.”

“You did! A, that’s great!” I clapped, bypassing the first part of the conversation.

“I found out today, to be honest I forgot all about it. I don’t know if I want to do it now that it was for Mom, you know, and now—”

“Don’t you dare say you’re not going to do it. Mom is watching, you know, and what about me? I want to see you act too, you know!” I scoffed.

She raised an eyebrow at me. “I guess. Riley said he would go too. You think Jussy would go too and Opal? I want people in my section since...” She trailed off, but I knew what she was going to say.

“Of course, you’ll have a mob,” I promised. “Okay, fix me a stinking plate,” I rolled my eyes, and she squealed. This would be the first time that we had eaten together since the he-who-must-not-be-named incident, as Aria so expressively put it.

We ate our dinner, and she talked about the play, but I kept eyeing our parents’ room, aching to crawl into my cave. Too much happened today, and I hadn’t been able to go to the cemetery to see them.

“I think I’m going to find Riley. He’s at Spinner’s or Sharkey’s with the others. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, sure, just be home before curfew,” I said, referring to the curfew my parents had set for her of midnight.

“Kk, I love you.” She dropped a kiss on my cheek and hugged me.

As soon as she was gone, I loaded the dishes into the dishwasher, took a shower, and went straight for the door at the back of the kitchen. I curled up in a ball and tried to forget the day’s events like I always did. The forgetful aunt who called the cops on me, the townspeople who knew the aunt was crazy and waited for me to turn crazy, the concerned friends and sister because my boyfriend decided he no longer wanted to be my boyfriend anymore. One good thing: I no longer had to worry about Aria going catatonic about being responsible for our parents’ death. It’s the little things.
 

I didn’t know how long I lay there. It usually took me awhile to fall asleep, as my mind refused to stop trying to work things out. Suddenly, my phone rang with Aria’s ringtone, some song she put on there about hollering at the DJ to turn it. I always preferred she text me.

“You’re changing my ringtone to a less annoying song as soon as you get home,” I said when I answered.

“If I get home,” she replied grumpily.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, on alert by her tone.

“Promise you won’t laugh?”

“I make no promises like that, you know me.”

“I ran out of gas.”

“Aria,” I half-whined, half-chastised.

“I know, I know. Daddy used to warn me all the time. I know,
okay?”

“Where are you?”

“Spinner’s.”

“Isn’t Riley with you?”

“His mom has his car. He got dropped off, and none of our friends can give us a lift. Dacey, please just come get us,” she pleaded.

Fuck.
“You owe me.”

Grabbing my keys, I headed out the door. I didn’t have a gas can, but I figured we could leave her car there and pick it up in the morning. Of course, when I got there, the parking lot was packed and I didn’t see Aria anywhere, so I sent her a text asking where she was. She replied saying she had to use the bathroom.