Everything But (24 page)

“I told you last night I need the floor in here scrubbed.”

He rolled his eyes. 
“
Ain’t
gonna
happen.
  But I’m pretty good at scrubbing other things.”

She smirked.  “Yeah, you are, but I don’t have time.”  She pulled herself away and started walking back out of the kitchen.  “You are a
bad
boy.”

He raised his voice so she could hear him in the other room.  “Yeah, and I think you like that.”

He couldn’t hear her response, but he didn’t want to leave the sausage.  He nodded his head to himself as he turned off the kettle of boiling water and dropped two waffles in her toaster.  Yeah, they really needed to talk.

* * *

Erin’s makeup was done and she had just finished combing out her hair, but she was still in her robe when Riley announced that breakfast was ready.  When she went to the kitchen, she was pleasantly surprised to see he had set the table and had everything ready to go…including coffee.  Yep, he was definitely a keeper.

Stop that, Erin.
  God, why had she been torturing herself?  It would never work.  He was leaving in just a few days to return to the decadent lifes
tyle to which he was accustomed, one where he was probably surrounded by handfuls of girls of every flavor.  She would surely pale in comparison.

But she’d enjoy him while he was here.  The food looked and smelled good
,
and he looked so proud of himself.  “Wow.  This is nice.”  He pulled out a chair for her.  She laughed as he stood there, waiting for her to sit down.  “It’s just breakfast, right?”

He slid the chair in and sat next to her.  “Well, food-wise, yeah.  But we can talk too.”

Why did he sound so serious?  Had he been able to discern the mental lashing she’d given herself?  Did he know what she’d been thinking?  “Yeah…we can.”  She was afraid to commit to anything that sounded too much like she had an agenda.  Yes, she’d been considering having a talk as well, just so they could lay their intentions on the table…but she didn’t know that breakfast was the right time to do it.

He smiled and handed her the plate of sausages so she could put some on her plate.  He picked up the juice.  “Want some?”

“Sure.”

He poured her a glass and then continued handing her the rest of the food until she filled her plate and her coffee cup.  He filled his too, and while she poured syrup over her waffles, he asked, “
So…
what are we
doin
’ here anyway?”

Yep…she’d read him right.  She didn’t know that she was ready for a heavy conversation first thing in the morning, though.  Maybe keeping the mood light would help, so she joked, “
Well, I didn’t want you to have to eat all this by yourself.
”

He smirked,
but the look in his eyes told her he wasn’t going to let it go so easily
.
  “You’re funny, Erin.  I’ll give you that.”

She didn’t know why, but hearing him say her name made her breath catch in her throat.  And she could feel
something
inside her, something that was spreading like a disease…the roots
of something burying itself deep in every part of her, something that would be hard to let go of.  Yeah, she supposed, they probably
should
talk, but with the kind of emotions she was experiencing, she didn’t know if it was even a good idea.
  What she was feeling was too fresh and she was too vulnerable.  She needed to guard herself and now, maybe, it was too late.  She took a sip of her coffee and decided to go with the innocuous comment.  “I try.”

He cleared his throat while cutting a link of sausage with his fork.  Then he took a deep breath.  Holy shit, yes. 
Extremely serious.
  He looked up and locked eyes with her.  She hadn’t moved quickly enough to avoid it.  “I’m just
gonna
throw it out there, and I hope you’re okay with it.”  She swallowed.  “You and I both know I’m leaving on Monday.
  So…how far do we want this to go?”

Her breath caught again.  She thought she liked his directness, but she found it intimidating at the same time.  She felt another pool of saliva rush to fill her mouth before she said, “Well, uh…what do you have in mind?”  She was afraid to say what her deepest thoughts were without knowing what he was thinking, and since he’d already proven to be the braver of the two, she was going to make him spit it out.

But he clenched his jaw
and lowered his eyes to the table
.  He didn’t look angry.  He too looked…vulnerable. 
Really?
  Erin was surprised.  Here was a guy who literally could have any girl he could put his finger on, so she couldn’t understand where that look was coming from.  Maybe, though…maybe she was just misreading him.  It wouldn’t have been the first time.  And maybe her own feelings and hormones were clouding her judgment.
  He raised his eyes to hers and she saw a twinkle in them.  Oh, definitely…what she’d thought was vulnerability had most certainly been her imagination.  “I asked
you
first.”

She was up to the challenge.  She could stuff down whatever weird emotions she was feeling and deal with them next week, long after he’d gone.  “Do we have to have a plan?”

He took a deep breath.  “I guess not.”  He set his fork down and picked up the glass of juice, downing half of it.  She was glad, because it gave her a few extra seconds to process and plan.  “I just…don’t want to make any pretense about anything.”

She didn’t like the sounds of that.  “What do you mean?”

“I just don’t want either of us to pretend that what’s happening between us is something that it’s not.”

What he said was a little confusing, but she thought she understood what he meant.  He didn’t want this silly little hometown girl to go all groupie on him and demand that he become her boyfriend.  Well, as much as she was starting to like him, she wasn’t stupid enough to think anything permanent could come of what was
happening
between them, to use Riley’s word. 
“Fair enough.”
  She sipped her coffee again and said, “I have to say…I’ve had a lot of fun with you, even though we
kinda
got off to a bad start.  And that’s probably good for me, considering some…uh…experiences
I’ve had
over the past couple of years. 
So…
you ask me where I think this is
going?
”  Wow…this was hard.  She took a deep breath.  “Why can’t we just enjoy each other’s company while you’re here?  Why do we have to build up some weird mystique around it?”

He blinked a couple of times and nodded his head in a slow
,
almost methodical
,
way.  “Yeah…okay.”  He held out his hand to shake hers as if sealing a deal. 
“Works for me.
”
  He blew out a breath of air and then smiled.
 
“
Now…about this table…”

Chapter Twenty-four

WELL, YOU COULDN’T
blame a guy for trying.  Not only had they brought things out in the open, but Riley had almost talked her into a little morning sex before going.  Erin said she didn’t have time, though.  So she promised to call him when she was done at work.

He liked the look on her face when he asked if he could stick around for a while so he could wash her dishes.

But when she left,
an
empty feeling nearly caved in his chest.
  And he was so fucking glad he hadn’t said what he’d been considering.  He’d been ready to profess what he felt, to admit to feeling something pretty deep, to tell her that he
was feeling
just about everything but love
…and maybe even a hint of that too.
  But she obviously wasn’t anywhere near that.  He was nothing but a boy toy to her.

So he just sat at the kitchen table after she left, sipping coffee, craving alcohol but ready to settle for a joint.
  He pulled in one deep breath after another, forcing himself to cowboy up. 
So big fucking deal.
  Wasn’t the first time a girl had kicked him in the balls.

He could do this.

But he had to admit that he wouldn’t be able to change her mind in just a few short days.  He’d have to just try to enjoy what they had while they had it and try not to be pathetic when he left.  In fact, he told himself, this kind of shit led to some of the best songs.  Maybe Undue Influence could win a Grammy or the next album could go platinum if he let the pain bleed through the songs.

And at least she’d been honest.  The last relationship he’d been in had been built on a bed of lies, and that would have killed him.

So…he planned on more weed, as much mind-blowing sex as possible, and as long as he could find a way to pull his fucking heart out of it, he’d be fine.

* * *

Wow…Erin had narrowly escaped that one.  She’d been tempted to take him up on his offer of sex in the kitchen.  That would’ve been hot, but she really needed a little air.  She was just a fun thing to him for a few days, and…she guessed she was okay with that.

Well, she wasn’t but it was her own damn fault.  She shouldn’t have let her heart get in the way.  But she was going to enjoy him while he was there.  He was the first man she’d been with since Frank.  Unlike that asshole, Riley was a fantastic lover.  More than that, though, it seemed like now that he didn’t have to act like a big, bad rock star all the time, he was kind of sweet and caring underneath it all.

And that’s probably why Erin
found it most confusing that they were just fucking each other.  She thought she’d sensed more.

But that must have been
her own
emotions talking.  Riley said it himself.  How had he put it?  He’d said he didn’t want them pretending what was going on between them was more than it really was…which meant he’d been able to see how she was being such a fucking girl.  She was letting herself fall for him. 
Completely.
  And he’d called her on it.

When she got to the school, earlier than usual because she’d needed to get away from him for a while, she went to the lounge to get a cup of coffee.  A cup of shitty coffee, by the way, especially compared to what Riley had made at her house, but she’d needed to get
out of there
f
ast
.  The nasty coffee was the price she had to pay.

Jackie was already sitting at a table in the lounge, a paper cup from a coffee shop full of vanilla mocha with whipped cream, grading
geometry
papers.  “Girlfriend, do I see a satisfied look on your face?”
  Jackie’s long black hair was tucked behind her ears.

In spite of herself, Erin grinned.  She sat down across from Jackie. 
“Maybe.”

“
Mmm
-hmm.
  But there’s something else too, right?”

Erin took a deep breath.  “Yeah, but I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it yet.”

Jackie lowered her voice even though no one else was in the lounge yet. 
“Tough shit, girlie.
  Spill it.”

So even though Erin hadn’t wanted to talk about it yet—too fresh, too raw,
and needing to be
too honest—she told her best friend how Riley had let her down gently, that he’d pretty much told her they could have fun together but that was it.

“Girl…I feel for
ya
, but you really didn’t expect anything
serious
to come of it, did you?”

Erin shrugged and forced herself to take another sip of the bitter coffee.  “I
dunno
. 
Maybe.
  The problem is
—and I know how stupid this
sounds
—I was starting to feel something pretty strong for him.”

“Strong?”

“Yeah…something dangerously close to…”

“Seriously?”

“Well, maybe not the
l word
, but everything but.”

“Everything but?  What the fuck
would that be
?”

The door from the hallway was starting to open, so Erin lowered her voice even more and leaned over the table.  “Not picturing our lives together down the road
or anything like that
, but really caring, you know, and wanting to know he’s happy, and
wanting to spend every stinking moment together
…”

Jackie started laughing.  “You might not call that love, but—”

“Don’t
. 
Y
ou
.
D
are.”  Erin finally got up the nerve to look and see who’d entered the lounge. 
Great.
  It was Ron Gill.  She didn’t say anything, instead looking back to Jackie, signaling her with her eyes to not say another fucking word.
  She allowed her voice to become louder.  “So what did you guys do last night?”