Everything I Want (16 page)

“Tristan, I can at least get my share of the meal. After all, it was my idea to come here.”

But he ignores me. He pulls out some bills and throws them onto the table. He takes one more drink of his coffee and stands, reaching out his hand to me. I’m just sitting here wondering what just happened. And that Tristan’s hand is reaching for me. I don’t want to keep thinking, so I did what felt right. I place my small hand into his. His hand feels firm and rough. He clamps his hand down around mine and pulls me up.

“Come on.”

He then tugs me behind him, still holding my hand as we walk out the restaurant. He’s moving so fast now that I have a hard time keeping up with him. Once we’re outside, I abruptly stop in my tracks. Tristan realizes it and turns around to face me.

“What are you doing?” he asks me.

I let go of his hand and cross my arms. Okay, I still have more to get off my chest before any sort of friendship can occur. Blowing out a breath, I just went for it.

“Tristan, what is it that you want?”

He stands there again, looking confused. Damn. Even his confused look is sexy as hell. I must learn to control my emotions—or I should say body—better around him.

“Sophia what the fuck are you talking about? Let’s go. It looks like it’s going to start raining.”

He reaches for my arm, but I pull my body away.

“No! I need to know some things first. You just can’t be a total dick to me one minute then fuck me the next then expect a friendship from me. I don’t switch gears that fast.”

He steps in closer to me, looking down to where I have to bend my head back just to look at him. His body is so close to mine and smells so good that I instantly become lightheaded. Breathing heavier now, I stare up at Tristan. He takes his one hand and gently caresses my cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Sorry for being a dick, fucking me? What? What exactly is he sorry for?

“Tristan, I just need to know what I did that pissed you off. It’s not like I did any shit on purpose?”

He stops caressing my cheek and places his hand at the small of my back again and leads me over to the SUV. Tristan holds the door open for me and helps me inside. The gesture is so not like his usual asshole style. He climbs in after and shuts the door.

“Phil, take us back. Lux is setting us up with our rooms.”

I’m just staring at him, waiting for him to elaborate more on our conversation. Phil takes off into traffic, and Tristan is just staring ahead, ignoring me almost.

“I never hated you, Sophia. I was annoyed.”

What?
What did I do to annoy him?

He goes on. “I was annoyed that the last band before you guys, the ones that were supposed to come on tour with us, fucked up. I was annoyed that Lux signed a new group and brought them on tour without discussing or even letting me know. And I was annoyed on how beautiful I thought you were when I first laid eyes on you, knowing damn well that I couldn’t have you.”

Sitting there stunned at his confession, I just look out the window at busy Minneapolis driving by. I’m flattered but I’m also pissed. That doesn’t give someone the right to be a douchebag. First of all, it’s not my fault about what happened with the last band. Second, it’s not my fault that Lux didn’t let him know. And third, well, I guess it’s not my fault that he thinks I’m beautiful. But I cannot lie. It did send butterflies through me when he said that. Looking back at him, I didn’t want to keep going on with this conversation. I have bigger fish to fry, so to speak. He’s just sitting there with his arms rested on the top of the seats. He’s so huge that it pretty much takes up the whole backseat.

“Tristan,” I say to him all quietly. I’m kind of embarrassed on where my next question is going.

“I have to ask you something.”

He tilts his head to the side, waiting for me to ask away. Licking my lips, I look down at my fingers, which I now notice that I’m twiddling in my lap.

“We didn’t use condoms… at all. So I w— was—”

Tristan places his hand on my fidgeting leg to keep still and answers my unfinished question.

“I’m clean, Sophia. I get checked regularly, and besides” He shrugs and goes back into the seat. “you’re only the second person I have ever been with without a condom.”

What? No way! Well, for my vagina’s sake, that’s good. But how can I believe him? He’s a musician for god’s sake! He knows I have doubt and smiles at me. Not in his usual teasing way either, but in a more genuine way.

“I know, right? But I’ve been with a lot of women. I knew some were probably rats, so I always used a condom. I do have some morals for myself, Sophia.”

With him saying that, I felt a little guilty but I had to ask for my own well-being.

Peering over to him I smile and say, “I know you do, Tristan. I just had to ask though. For my own safety. I’ve never done anything like that before.” Gesturing my hand between us, I continue. “You know. Sleeping with someone that wasn’t. Well, wasn’t—”

“Your boyfriend?” he finished for me, and I’m so embarrassed again. Biting my lip, I nod my head. I can’t keep my eyes on him right now, so I turn over to gaze back out the window.

I can tell we’re getting closer to where the buses are parked, and I still have one more question for Tristan then everything is lifted from my chest. Tristan is resting his chin on his knuckles as he gazes out his window Clearing my throat as lightly as I can manage, I turn over to him again.

“Tristan?”

He looks up at me. His face has no emotion on it, but his eyes seem like he’s been deep in thought about something.

“What’s going to happen now? I don’t mean boyfriend or girlfriend shit but… I just don’t want your attitude all the time. It would be nice if we can have some kind of friendship on this tour.”

I give him my most innocent smile that I possibly can, batting my eyelashes at him, trying to pull the sweet card because there has only been two sides that Tristan has seen of me; and I wasn’t going to pull one out unless I had to and the other, well… If I say I hope it would never happen again, I would be lying.

Tristan studies my face for a moment but doesn’t smile back. Oh shit. This probably wouldn’t be good, but he shrugs his shoulders at me and says, “Whatever you want, Sophia.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Walking back to the bus, I’m confused at Tristan’s last words.
Whatever I want?
What the hell is that supposed to mean? I just don’t want him being a dick to me anymore, which I’m pretty sure that really won’t be the problem. And I don’’t want him thinking that I want to be his girlfriend or some groupie either.

I can’t believe I’m even thinking about this; but if he by any chance wanted to be—oh, I don’t know—“friends with benefits,” then I’m definitely down. I’m only a woman—a woman with long pent-up desires, as a matter of fact—so maybe screwing around with him and having a little fun on the side of the tour wouldn’t be that bad, right? Oh god! I can’t believe I’m even thinking like this, but my body is overruling my mind on this one. After the tour, I will go back busying myself with the album; and Tristan will be touring in Europe. It will be like this thing has never even happened. I’m grinning on the inside right now at my devilish little plan. Right when I approach the door, it swings open. Roger is standing there, looking down at me.

“Where the hell have you been? And why was your phone turned off?”

Shit!
I forgot I shut my phone off when Tristan and I got to the restaurant. I pull my phone out of my back pocket to check.

“Well?”

Roger keeps pushing for more information. I look back up to him, trying to explain myself without giving away that I was with Tristan.

“I told Jared I was going out sightseeing. Calm the fuck down.”

I push past him, making my way back to my little cove. Jared is standing in the hallway, all dressed up in his best: dark jeans, white T-shirt, and perfectly styled hair. Like he took about half an hour on it, at least. He speaks softly to me so that the other guys wouldn’t eavesdrop.

“Um, Sophia, I tried texting you when I was ready. But when you didn’t text back, I got kind of worried. So I woke up Roger.”

The face he made next reminds me of the same face Jim Carrey did in the movie
Dumb and Dumber
. You know, the “find a happy place” look. I stop glaring at him and pat him on the shoulders.

“That’s all right, Jared. Thank you for your concern, but I was fine. After all I’m a big girl, remember?”

“You’re a hot chick in a city wandering around by yourself. It’s not cool, Sophia,” Roger chimes in from behind me.

I roll my eyes. I don’t want to keep fighting about this. At least they don’t know that I was with Tristan. They would really start to think that I was falling for him then. First, everyone heard us… you know. Then catch us having breakfast together? No. It is way better for them to know I was out on my own.

Just then, we heard a knock at the door. Lux enters the bus, again wearing a nice suit.

“Good afternoon, everyone.”

He takes a look around real quick and continues. “Got a room for you guys tonight, downtown. It’s a real nice place and close to entertainment, so you guys should be able to unwind before tomorrow night’s show.”

He then looks over to Cory.

“But not too much though. You guys have to be at the arena at two o’clock tomorrow. Then after that show, we start making our way out west again. Stopping in Seattle by the end of this week. So there will be a shit-ton of driving coming up in the next few days.”

Lux strides over to me and hands me a packet.

“Here are the keys to your guys’ rooms. I actually have to fly out tonight, so I won’t be at your show tomorrow. But please get there on time!”

He stresses the last words again. Great. What Cory did to us in Detroit is making all of us look like we’re immature or irresponsible or something. I will make damn sure that everyone gets their asses in gear tomorrow.

Taking the packet from him, I tell him everything will be fine and that he has our word.

“Good. Now kick ass tomorrow. The internet is starting to buzz about this ‘new band’ they’ve been hearing of with Undead.”

He uses his fingers as quotation marks in the air when he says new band. Oh shit. I haven’t been on any social site since the tour started. I was nervous at first but then just totally forgot about it. I’m going to have to check it out later. We say our goodbyes to Lux, and I head back to my area when the bus starts up.

I hear Roger out in the living area excitedly saying “Fuck yeah! Let’s rage tonight, boys!”

Shaking my head at his remarks, I know that they’re just going to do what they’re going to do. My only concern is with Cory, but hopefully, our little spat this morning knocked a little sense into him.

“Sophia!”

I hear Roger yelling my name.

“Sophia, get your little ass out here!”

What does he want now?
I climb off my bed and peek out into the small hallway.

“What is it, Roger?”

I’m kind of annoyed right now at him.

“Girl, don’t give me that attitude. You’re coming with us. We must party.”

“No. You guys are fine—”

“Oh, shut the fuck up! And when we get to the hotel, you have thirty minutes to get dressed. Jared, you have forty-five because you’re a bitch.”

Roger looks over toward Jared, smiling at him.

“I’m already ready, man. By the smell of you though, I would say you can take up to an hour on your ass.”

We all start laughing at Jared’s little comeback. Well, everyone but Roger. He just flips Jared off and heads to the table next to Matt.

“Sophia, it will be crazy tonight. And hey, if we start early, we end early so… ”

I know that’s not entirely true, but I could go for a drink; and we are in Minneapolis so I’m down.

“Okay, I’ll go but sometime tonight, I want to swing by somewhere.”

I say to them as I take a seat next to Cory on the couch.

“Sure. Where do you wanna go?” Roger asks me.

My smile splits my face in two, and I know he’s probably not going to like it.

“I want to go to First Avenue. You know, like where the movie
Purple Rain
was at. It’s supposed to be a good music place.”

Roger now rolls his eyes, and Matt starts laughing. Cory leans over me and grabs his guitar and plays the beginning of “Doves Cry.” I start clapping my hands together, bouncing excitedly in my seat. Oh yeah, that gets me in the mood to party. We all start laughing and start discussing our plans for the night.

It only takes me twenty minutes to get ready since I already showered and blow-dried my hair. I decide on wearing my same jeans on from earlier but changed my top to a dark gray strapless corset. It’s made up of cotton blend with boning in it. The top bends over, looking like a black V on top.

Sitting on my bed, I grab my compact mirror. I start applying more eye liner on, smoking out the corners of my eyes. When I’m done with my eyes, I dig around in my makeup bag for my lip gloss and stick that in my front pocket. Getting up from my bed, I search for what I can wear on my feet tonight. I don’t want anything too comfortable because it won’t go with my top, but I don’t want to be falling over easily when I’m buzzed either. I will wear the boots that I wore in Detroit. Frankie gave them to me after the show because I fell in love with them.

After lacing them up, I grab my black belt and pull it through the loops of my jeans. I slide on a few bracelets on my right wrist and walk over to check myself out in the mirror. Cool. I like it.
So will Tristan.
I thought to myself. Damn it! I hate that, that thought even crossed my mind. But I couldn’t help it. Normally, I would just wear a T-shirt going out with the boys. But there is a chance that Tristan might be out so…

I pick up my phone from the bed and text Roger.

Ready.

After I pressed send, I spritz myself with my perfume on my wrists. I rub them together and dab them behind my ears. I know those perfume ladies at the shops tell you not to because it loses its scent or whatever. But I never find that true and always do it.

My phone bings off and I look down, thinking it was Roger. But it wasn’t.

What you up to tonight?

It’s Tristan! How did he get my number? I’m sure he had to ask one of the guys or Lux.

I bite my lip, staring down at the text. I was hoping to run into him tonight. Not to hang out with him. Well, that wouldn’t really be that bad either because he seems cool when he’s nice. Deciding on whether or not to reply, I hear a bang on my door. I jump at the noise. Oh my god. If Tristan is out there, I’m going to shit.

Slowly walking up to the door, I close my left eye and lean onto the door, peeking through the peephole. Roger is standing there, running his tongue over his teeth.
Gross!
I let out a breath of relief and open the door.

“See, I knew you’d be ready. See, Matt? Wrong again.”

I look over Roger’s shoulder at Matt, who isn’t paying attention to us, but rather to his phone. I know though that Roger is just screwing around.

“Where we off to first, boys?” I ask as I shut the door behind me.

I feel my front packets for my I.D. and my room key. Yep, have them both. I then feel my back and pull out a couple fifty dollar bills. I’m all set. I push the money down into my front pockets though. A little safer there. I really should buy a purse or something because, one of these days, I’m going to lose shit. Cory walks over to me as we head for the elevator.

“There’s this pub we’re going to swing by first. You know, if you’re hungry?”

Nodding at him as we wait I say, “Sounds good. I should have something in my stomach before tonight starts anyways.”

After we’re downstairs, I scope out the lobby. Lux was right. This is a real nice place. Its decor is all modern-like, almost like staying at a museum. When we’re outside, I see the same SUV parked out front.

“Are we getting in there?” I ask, pointing over to the vehicle.

Matt, laughing a little, mocks, “Nope. We’re not special enough yet.”

Roger butts in, “We’re on foot, sweetheart. But the good news is this first place is only a couple blocks from here. Later on, we can always use a taxi.”

Following them down the street, I notice that it looks like it’s going to rain. The sky is dark and there is a chill in the wind that makes you know that a storm is coming.

“Shit! I forgot my jacket!”

I rub my hands on my arms, trying to warm my skin up. Tristan’s text asking me what I was doing threw me off.

“You want to wear my hoodie?” Cory asks me.

“If it’s only a couple blocks, I should be okay. But I will probably take you up on that later. If you don’t mind?”

“Not at all, Sophia.”

Cory then kisses the top of my head and wraps his arm around me. I don’t feel uncomfortable at him doing so. It’s not like that with us. Cory holds me close as we make our way down the street.

Roger looks back at us, starting to laugh again and says, “She won’t need it later. She’ll be so drunk off her ass.”

We arrive at the pub, and from the outside, it looks small with only two windows that you can glimpse into; but when we walk through the doors, it opens up. It has very high ceilings that you can see the duct work. It also has brick walls and wooden floors. It’s kind of darker in here, too, but not nightclub-dark. More like mellow-dark.

“Jared, wanna find us a table?” Cory asks him, “I will go up and get our first round. Roger, come with me.”

Cory lets go of me, making his way toward the bar. He doesn’t ask me what I want, but he doesn’t have to either. He knows that a beer is always my drink of choice, followed by a gin and tonic. I follow Jared and Matt to a large round table in the corner, by a pool table. I take a seat in the back since I’m smaller than the rest of them. Jared and Matt each take a seat on either side of me. Matt looks over to me, smiling. Not the kind of smile wherein he shows his teeth but the kind of smile like he knows something.

“So this should be fun,” I say to them, looking around the bar.

“Oh, yes,” Matt says. I look back over to him, but now, he wiggles his eyebrows at me. Jared laughs but quickly covers his mouth with his hand to stop him. I look back at each of them before crossing my arms and resting them on the table.

“Okay. What’s so funny?”

Matt shrugs his shoulders. He’s covering up something, but I don’t know what it is.

“Nothing, Sophia. I just have a feeling that tonight will be fun is all. I’m already a little buzzed.”

I really don’t believe him, but I don’t want to spend my night doing the guessing game kind of thing so I drop it. Cory and Roger come back with our drinks, and I see that Cory has a platter in one of his hands.

“Beer batter dip and chips. Thought it would be good to start the night off with some grub.,” he says, placing it on the center of the table.

“Of course, Roger had to pick out something with alcohol in the name.”

“Hey, Cory, this is a night to party! So if we’re going to puss out and eat then it might as well be something that’s beer-battered.”

I’m thankful that Cory got the appetizer. I pick up a chip, swirl it around in the dip, and take a bite. It’s very rich and creamy. So good. I lick my lips and reach for another.