Everything I've Never Had (47 page)

My father-in-law finally speaks up again. “You know, he has his own father and they’ve always done quite fine without us. I suggest you go and petition him for help. We’re staying out of this mess.”

My father tries to speak up, but I beat him to the punch. I’m done standing around trying to make them see reason. I’ve got to get back to Adrian.

“No, you’re not staying out of it,” I say, ice in my voice and in my veins. “And here’s why. I gave you the opportunity to step up and help of your own accord.” I smile a knowing smile. “I want you to remember that. Now you’re going to help because you have to.” Leveling my eyes at Chip, since he seems to be my main opposition. “Chip, Daddy, you’ll be disappointed to hear that Tripp did not trust either of you to do right by me, and he left some information for me to use if you tried to hurt me or my children.” I pause and bask in every second of watching Chip’s face fall and rendering him speechless. “Several months ago I was approached and given some information that will bring you
both
,” I emphasize and glance between them, “to your knees. And you both know what I’m referring to. Now there are copies of this with the investigator who gave it to me and in various locations. If either of you try to acquire this information, I will release it as soon as possible. And if I’m not able, there are certain people who will release it on my behalf. Is that understood?” The look that passes between them is priceless. “Everything you’ve worked for gone and all because you couldn’t treat your daughter and the people you are supposed to love with a little human decency. Your squabble with us over things that don’t even concern you like who we love will be your downfall. It’s not worth it.

“Are we on the same page now?” They just nod. “I don’t want a damn thing from you other than for you to back off and leave me and my family in peace and to get me the help Adrian needs. Oh, and I want Adrian’s arrest record cleared. Are we all in agreement?” They nod. “Great. Here’s what I need…”

“HOLY SHIT, CEL. Am I proud of you! The way you stood up to them. Geez, baby girl. I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Me either,” I agree with a deep sigh. “I’m afraid that was the easy part, though. Getting Adrian to agree to my plan is going to be the difficult part.” I check my phone, but he’s not messaged me back.

“Yeah, you’re right about that,” he says as we step out of the elevator. “What do you have on them anyway?”

My burst of laughter bounces around the parking garage. My sense of humor gets more like Adrian’s everyday. Leaning over the top of my car, I admit, “Nothing. I don’t have a damn thing on them.” His jaw drops. “I was bluffing. I do know someone who has something on them, but I don’t actually have it. I can get it if I need it.”

“Damn, girl. Remind me never to cross you. That whole room was scared of you. They had no idea.”

Putting my car in gear, I turn to him before we take off. “You know I’m proud of you, right?” He just grins. I’ll do whatever I can to support you. I love you, Lou.”

“I love you too, Cel.”

“By the way, I’ve known for a long time you’re gay. I’ve tried to discuss it with you several times over the years, but you always seemed so uncomfortable. I wanted you to do it on your own terms and when you were ready. So you may have had them fooled, but I’ve always known.”

He gives me a confounded look. “I can’t believe you knew. And how is that exactly? I’ve been very quiet about it.”

I tilt my head and smile. “I don’t know. It’s one of those things when you know, you know,” I say with a laugh.

USING MY KEY, I open Adrian’s door a crack and peer in a bit, which is why I don’t see
them
right away. Louis and I enter all the way and that’s when I spot them. I take a deep breath. My insides burn. I hear Louis curse softly under his breath and ask if I want to leave. I feel his arm on my elbow and a light tug. Shaking him off, I move to stand behind the couch, and I can barely see through the angry tears in my eyes. I dash them away before I speak. Oh my God is it hard to speak. Speaking will turn this into my reality, and I don’t know that I can handle it. I take in and then release a deep breath.

Using my key, I tap her on the shoulder. She looks up at me, surprised. “Get your ass up,” I demand.

“What the hell are you doing here?” she asks sleepily. “Adrian said you were over.”

I chuckle. “Did he now? Well, he’s mistaken. Now, get your ass up.”

The doppelgänger has the nerve to nudge Adrian and say, “Baby, do you want me to leave?”

Adrian’s eyes open and he looks from her and up to me. “Shit, Celeste.”

That’s it. That’s all I get?
Shit, Celeste?
Something’s rotten in the city of New Orleans.

She sits up and smoothes her clothes down a bit. “I think I’ll wait for Adrian to tell me to leave if you don’t mind, Celeste,” she says as she runs a hand down his chest and fists her hand in his t-shirt. When his hand comes up to clench hers, a fiery rage explodes in my chest. But she doesn’t clue in and keeps talking. “Especially since he was so sweet when he invited me over.”

I lean in and say with deadly calm. “Bitch. Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

“Celeste!” Adrian admonishes.

Louis makes his way around the couch, grabs her by the arm, and begins to usher her out. “That’s enough. Let’s go. You don’t want any part of this.”

“Adrian, call me if you need me, honey,” she rushes out before Louis has her out the door.

My eyes have never left his. He just looks blank, completely void of all feeling. Finally, he releases a deep breath and sits up. “I guess you should have called first,” he says. “I told you we were done.”

Knife to the heart, but somehow I maintain my composure, and I surprise him by smiling at him even though right now I’d love nothing more than to kick his ass. “Why, Adrian, we’ve only just begun,” I say sweetly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks.

Laughing, I grab his hand and lead him to the bathroom. He’s looking at me like I’ve lost my damn mind. Maybe I have. “Take a shower. Clear your head. We’ll talk when you get out.”

He just shuffles past me and gives me a worried frown.
Mmm hmm, your little plan backfired.

Making my way back to the living room, I close my eyes and collapse into the wall. Oh, my heart hurts so bad. I massage it a little and look up and say another prayer. I hear Louis come back in, and I look over at him.

“What did she say?” I ask.

“I can’t believe you’re not flipping out, Celeste. What the hell was he thinking?” He shakes his head at me. I know what he was thinking and that is the only thing that is keeping me from losing my fucking mind right now. I just raise my eyebrows at him. “She said that Adrian called her and asked her if she could come sit with him for a while. He told her that y’all were over, but that you wouldn’t take the hint. Told her that nothing was going to happen between them, but that he would appreciate it as a friend. She said she’s actually seeing someone and it’s pretty serious, but that Adrian had always been good to her. She wanted to help him out. I told her that he’s not doing well with being back home from Iraq.” He lets out a deep breath. “She said she felt like something was off but didn’t really understand. And to tell you that nothing happened between them. He asked her to lie down on the couch with him and that was that.” That was enough, I think. “She also told me to tell you she was sorry.”

I just nod at all that since I had pretty much figured all that out. I hear Adrian’s shower cut off. “I need to see about him, and I’m not sure how much more fight he has left in him. He warned me, Louis.” Louis gives me a questioning look. “He told me he would do anything to protect me, and that’s what that was. He’s trying anything and everything to push me away in order to protect me.” Louis grabs me and kisses me on my forehead. I shake my head against his. “Thank you for finding all that out for me and for staying. It…helps. How long until the doctor will be here?”

He looks at his watch. “Thirty minutes.”

“Here goes nothin’,” I tell him.

Letting Louis go, I kick off my shoes and head down the hall toward his bedroom. He’s pulling on his sweatpants. I close the door behind me, and he turns to me when it clicks.

“You’re still here?” I swear I see a little relief mixed with his disbelief.

I actually laugh. He frowns. “Adrian, it’s a good thing I’m smarter than you,” I joke. Now he just raises those brows at me. “Mmm hmm, I know how much you love me and how you would do
anything
to protect me. Even if the threat is you. Even if you have to hurt me in the process. Not hurting me comes in second to protecting me, doesn’t it?” No response. “You called her over here to make me angry in hopes that I would leave and never come back, didn’t you?” I narrow my eyes and point at him. “And don’t you dare lie to me.”

He stares at me for a minute before collapsing on the floor beside his bed and leaning back against the footboard. “What’s wrong with me that I could do that to you? How can you ever forgive me?” he asks through his hands that are covering his face. “Shit, Celeste, I practically assaulted you this morning and then I had another woman in my arms just now. Nothing happened between us. Nothing was going to happen. I wanted it to look that way so that you would leave me. Fuck! You should run and fast. I don’t understand why you’re not running.”

“I know that. I knew it when I saw her even though watching you with her made me want to crawl out of my own skin. And I’m not going to lie to you, Adrian. The way you spoke to me after you took me in the kitchen…that hurt. It still hurts. You didn’t assault me, though. I like it when you’re rough,” I joke. He barely cracks a smile, but it looks almost like a real smile. “It was what you said after. That’s going to take me a while to get over.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

I sink down in front of him and rub his jaw with one hand. “You’re already forgiven.”

He nods and grabs my hand, holding it to his face. “Don’t leave me. I don’t know what to do to fix this yet, but I know I can’t live without you and our boys. I know that. I’ve been beyond stupid these last few days, but I want to fix me, fix us if you’ll give me another chance.”

“I’m not going anywhere, baby. I love you. And I know what we need to do.” I pause before asking him to place his faith in me. I hope he remembers how many times I’ve trusted in him. “Do you trust me?” He nods and closes his eyes tight.

“THE BIGGEST THING,” Adrian says, “is that there can be no record of my treatment. If the government found out, I could never serve in a combat situation again. I don’t want that stigma following me around either. I know I’ve already told you, but I can’t stress it enough. That’s, uh, why so many people don’t get help.” I don’t know that I want him to serve ever again, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.

“All right, Mr. Hebert, I understand. How long’s it been since you’ve slept?” Dr. Patel asks.

“Uh…I’ve been dozing off for twenty, thirty minute intervals for the last several days. I, uh, don’t remember the last time I actually slept.”