Everything Unexpected (18 page)

I feel my heart squeeze.

I tell myself once more it’s the hormones.

Shane lifts his head and smiles down at me before slowly lowering, moving closer. I’m strangely nervous he may kiss me—on the lips. Nervous of that kind of intimacy, regardless of the fact that he just fucked me. Fear of what might happen, what my heart might do if he does.

But he doesn’t. Instead, his lips brush softly against my forehead before he pulls away, moving out of me with equal tenderness. He jerks his head over to my bathroom. “I’m going to hop in the shower. Cool?”

I blink twice before nodding, watching him as he leaves the room. Once he’s out of sight, I fold my arms over my face and release a breath I didn’t know I was holding. I’m confused by what just happened. Did I want Shane to kiss me? Was I hoping for it? I wanted sex, that much I know. Sex with Shane…obviously I was good with that too. But this? These confusing feelings? These are…unexpected. Shane’s words run through my head, only adding to my torment.

What more could happen?

Apparently everything. Everything could still happen.

“THIS CAR ISN’T very baby proof.”

I take my eyes off the road for a few seconds, instantly enraptured with how the wind from the open top of the Jeep is blowing Leah’s hair in all directions. The sun is shining down on her, casting a gold glow over her flushed, pink skin. She attempts to run her fingers through her tousled hair, trying in vain to keep it out of her face. I peek downwards to her skirt and the wrinkles it’s gotten from being scrunched up in my hands only moments ago.

Leah wasn’t kidding when she said her body was going through some sexual overactive phase. In the last few weeks, I’ve had more sex than I’ve
ever
had. She’s insatiable. The further along she gets in her pregnancy, the more her libido grows. Not that I’m complaining. Sex with Leah is…more than I could have expected. She’s always into it, always eager, and if I’m being honest, she comes pretty easily. Not that I wouldn’t work at it if she didn’t, but it’s nice having that little help.

The only downside to this new dynamic we have going on is it’s confusing the hell out of me. I knew having sex with her would be anything but clean and easy, especially now, but something came over me that night. One minute we’re sitting on her couch, the next thing I know she’s telling me how her body is in heat. I stood no chance when the memories of touching that body, tasting it, seeing it beneath me started flooding my mind. All I could think was how much I wanted to live that all over again.

But I didn’t see
this
happening.

This ongoing, sexual relationship we’ve initiated that doesn’t seem to have an ending in sight. Now
I’m
craving her.
I’m
wanting her.
I’m
needing her. My one-time offer of
helping
her has turned into something much different. Something that’s playing with my brain and fooling around with my emotions. We don’t kiss but we’ll do everything else imaginable. It’s a little weird, my lips on so much of her body but not her mouth. I’m not even sure what would happen if I did try and kiss her. Would she let me? Would she even want me to? I can’t even process how strange it is to be inside of her but too nervous to kiss her. Leah’s my best friend, but what’s been going on between us lately—what I’m feeling towards her—isn’t all that
friendly
.

What’s even more confusing is how casual Leah seems about it, like this isn’t complicating or changing anything between us. But I can’t be the only one feeling this way, can I? She can’t be this unaffected by what we’ve been doing almost nightly, can she? And I do mean almost nightly.

The other week, we were out for pizza when I felt her hand grip my thigh under the table, a clear indicator of what she was wanting. I made an excuse for us to leave, not even remembering what it was. Ten minutes later, I was inside her, her body pressed into her kitchen counter, neither of us even able to wait to get to the bedroom.

She even showed up at my place in the middle of the night. Told me she couldn’t sleep and needed a release. I followed her back to my room quietly so that Bryan wouldn’t hear and took her from behind for the first time.

And now, watching her straighten her blouse and reapply her lipstick, I think back to twenty minutes ago, pulled over to the side of a quiet road, the smell of orange groves all around us. As soon as I turned off the car, she unbuckled her seat belt, raised her skirt and climbed on top of me.

I didn’t hear her complain about the lack of roof then.

The brief stop did, however, make us late. My parents were expecting us a half hour ago. Today is the day we are going to tell them they’re going to be grandparents—officially. They’ll be supportive, that much I know, because that’s just who my parents are. Even if they don’t always agree with me, they support me. But I have no idea what kind of questions my mother will ask. Questions I most likely don’t have answers to just yet. Answers to questions I’ve only just recently started asking myself.

We still have no idea how to explain how this happened to my mother. Comb and I aren’t a couple, but we aren’t just friends anymore either. I don’t know
what
to call us anymore. We crossed a line months ago and have continued to cross it since. But what that line says about us, about what we are now, where we are now, I have no clue. And if Leah has an idea, she’s not sharing.

I continue to drive down the open road, small rocks and dust trailing behind us. I glance to the back seat of my car, to the thin layer of grime gathering over the leather. A broken seat belt jumping at every small pot hole I run over. Leah’s right. This car isn’t very baby proof.

“Your car is safe,” I say, reminding her of her small, four door Mini Cooper.

Leah looks at me as though I’ve missed the point. “Sure. But what about when the baby’s with you? It can’t ride in the back of this safari wagon.”

“Hey—”

“A baby needs a roof, windows, seatbelts that work—”

“Okay. I get it. Relax,” I say laughing. But her expression doesn’t show one ounce of amusement. In fact, she looks slightly annoyed. As much as this girl gets hornier every week that passes, she also becomes more irritable. Sometimes her mood swings give me whiplash. “Relax,” I try again. “We still have time to figure this stuff out.”

She presses her lips together for a second. “This stuff,” she repeats slowly before looking out her side of the car.

Great, now what did I say?

“OH MY.”

My mother’s surprised expression as soon as we walk into the house lets us know coming up with a way of breaking the news won’t be needed. Her eyes are already glued to Leah’s stomach. Most days, Leah hides her very small, growing belly, but today her outfit does nothing to camouflage it. The blouse she has on just barely buttons over her chest and her jersey skirt sticks to her form. When I picked her up at her apartment, I carefully mentioned those exact things.

“Are we hiding it from your parents? Isn’t this,” she pointed to her stomach, “what we’re going to tell them?” she asked pointedly. “Besides, it’s only a matter of hours before this outfit won’t fit so I’d like to wear it.”

I foolishly and stupidly thought maybe it wouldn’t be the first thing my mother would notice. I envisioned sitting them down and breaking the news with pastel balloons floating up out of nowhere, but from the look on my mother’s face, we’re not sitting anywhere and there will be no balloons.

“Hi, Mom,” I say walking over and kissing her on the cheek. She doesn’t even register me. Her eyes stay solely focused on Leah and her midsection. My mother disentangles herself from me and walks the few steps to where Leah stands.

“Surprise,” Leah says, her voice shaking a bit, her smile nervous.

My mother wraps her arms around Leah and hugs her tight. “Surprise is right. What’s happened to you?” she says, her voice giving away cheerful disbelief.

Leah glances over my mother’s shoulder, looking at me expectantly.

“You’re going to be a grandmother,” I say. At my words, my mother quickly releases Leah, her head whipping back to look at me.

“Pardon me—” my mother starts, her head swinging from side to side, from Leah then back to me. “This is you?” she says, pointing to Leah’s stomach.

“I know this is a surprise, Charlotte. It was to us too,” Leah starts. “And I’m sorry we’re only telling you now. We wanted to wait until after the first trimester. I’m sorry—”

Leah’s nervous rambling is cut off by a piercing shriek of joy. My mother once again envelops Leah in a hug, her voice full of excitement. “Stop with the apologies! This is fantastic news. I had no idea you two had even started dating.” She looks at me poignantly.

I open my mouth to correct her, but Leah’s glare keeps my mouth shut.

“Able, get in here!” my mother yells. “Come see what’s happening.”

My father’s heavy footsteps come down the hall as he emerges into the foyer.

“Look, Able! Look!” my mother cries, pointing to Leah’s stomach once again. “We’re going to be grandparents!” My mother turns back around and hugs Leah yet again. I look over to my father, understanding coming over his face as he comes up to stand beside me.

“It’s decided then,” he says quietly, only for me to hear.

“It is,” I answer.

He nods, turning his attention to the women hugging. But I see a spark of emotion in the corner of his eye, one he’s trying to keep to himself.

Pride.

“Able, what is the matter with you? Come over here and congratulate her for goodness sake,” my mother chastises him. The hint of a smile turns into a huge grin as my father makes his way to Leah, wrapping her in his large arms. I nearly lose sight of her behind his big frame.

“You look radiant,” my father tells her, kissing her cheek.

“Doesn’t she? Just radiant!” my mother pipes in.

I stand and watch my parents fuss over Leah and my unborn child. I see Leah wipe a happy tear from her cheek, relieved, I’m sure, at how my parents reacted. She looks happy, and a part of me beams knowing I had a part in that, that my family had a part in that. That seeing her like this, an excited mother-to-be, wouldn’t have been possible without me.

Then a whole different kind of understanding creeps up on me. One I wasn’t expecting, but at the same time, think I’ve been waiting for. An awareness that feels more like a punch to the heart, causing it to skip a beat.

I stare down at the floor, needing to look away from her for just a moment. Needing to process the realization that I want to be the
only
one to ever make her feel that way. The
only
man to put that smile on her face.

While Leah’s eyes are shining with happiness, mine are shadowing in panic. If I thought what was happening between us before was confusing, it’s nothing compared to the realization that I might want it to continue…permanently.

WE’RE SITTING AROUND my parent’s dining room table as Leah and I are bombarded with questions from my mother. Both she and my father are sitting across from us, barbequed meat and salads laid out between us. I go to grab for another piece of chicken when my mother’s next question stops my fork in midair.

“Have you felt the baby move yet?”

Move?

Has she?

I look at Leah while she shakes her head, dabbing the sides of her mouth with a napkin. “Not yet. Still too early, I think.”

Is it too early? When is she supposed to start feeling these things? I make a mental note to catch up on reading some of those pregnancy books I bought.

“How about names? Have you thought of any? Oh! Will you want to find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

Names
? I haven’t thought about that either. Has she? Does she have any in mind? Boy or girl? Do I want to know? Does she?

Leah eyes meet mine, the same questions running through her mind. How could it be that we haven’t discussed any of this? What the hell have we been doing all this time? Then a brief image of Leah’s naked chest against my lips enters my mind and I’m reminded of exactly how we’ve been spending our time.