Everything You Want: Everything For You Trilogy 2 (16 page)

“Why would Gunn agree to make himself look that foolish?” I’m still avoiding the real questions swimming like piranha in the blood curdled waters of my brain.

“Because Advance Advertising have been awarded a lucrative temporary contract with Zee-Com. It was part of an agreement that gave me a lot of control over Gunn. They’re all my best buddies now.”

I’m stunned. “You sold CaidCo out in spite of our deal?” All this was for nothing?

“They have a
temporary
contract.” He emphasises the word. He’s not going to let anyone else push him up against the wall.

“You sold me out.”

“You’re the reason I did what had to be done. You and your unerring ability to get yourself into trouble.”

“So what’s all this about?” I wave my hand around between us indicating the chateau and the interminable sex.

“You ran away.”

“You are punishing me.” Truth dawns. I recall him telling me in his boardroom he needs to get a return on any deal he makes. If he has to pretend to be engaged to me he’s at least going to get lots of sex out of the arrangement. I feel completely sick.

“I came here to find you.”

“And the sex?”

“That’s pure chemistry, kitten. Don’t pretend you don’t feel the same way.”

“Not pre-empting your conjugal rights?” I fizz with sarcasm.

He has the nerve to look disgusted with me for even suggesting it. “I came here to tell you what was happening before someone else did.”

I correct him. “What has already happened – without my knowledge or consent.” I’m furious and let him know it. “Everyone thinks we’re going to get married?” No-one will care about me, but they’re not about to forget Jack Keogh announcing his engagement in a hurry. I’ll be lucky to make it through the week intact.

“It’s done. You’re returning to Belvedere and are going to face the press as my future wife. Everyone will soon forget the photographs that preceded it. Your reputation will be saved.”

I’m too mad to care about my reputation. “You could at least have mentioned it before you fucked me.”

His face freezes to stone. His voice drops a level. “I didn’t force you.”

“No. You seduced me.”

“Do you think I planned this?” He appears horrified by my interpretation.

“Most definitely.”

“It’s simply what happens when I get near you.”

I’m cut to the quick. It’s obviously what happens when he gets near Amanda too. Didn’t he once suggest to me he wasn’t any monk? “I wouldn’t marry you if you were the last man on the planet. Even for the sake of appearances.”

He looks stunned by my outburst. Then really angry as if I’ve painted him into a corner. “Don’t worry. There won’t need to be any real wedding. I wouldn’t force you into that either. You won’t have to suffer even the thought of it for too long. As soon as the press lose interest – which they will – you’ll be free to go. I’ll publically release you from the engagement or make sure everyone knows you dumped me, if that’s what you prefer. We’ll have a civilised separation. I won’t be forcing you up any altar.”

I feel like I’ve been kicked. If anyone had promised me I would get my life-long dream of an engagement to be married to the only man I’ve ever loved, I would have thought myself the luckiest woman alive. But not like this. Jack couldn’t make it clearer I’ve forced his hand. He couldn’t make it clearer he’ll be undoing the damage just as soon as it’s safe to do so. He has no intention of actually marrying me.

Or any wish to.

When he told me earlier I’d make someone a lovely wife, he was no doubt comforting himself that it wouldn’t really have to be him. He couldn’t make it more obvious he despises me for compromising him in this way. He’s just making sure I don’t completely ruin his reputation. I’ve certainly ruined mine. Amanda’s plan to make Jack hate me has worked out beautifully.

He lowers his voice. “I’m just trying to make the best of things, Tabitha.”

“Sure you are.” My head spins. Jack and I pretending to be future husband and wife?

Living together at Belvedere with that lie, knowing he’s really Amanda’s, will rip us all apart. Jack and that woman will hate me more than ever for having to deny their own true relationship in order to keep up the pretence of mine.

Knowing her, I’d better watch my back.

Chapter Seven

A horrible thought has me by the throat and won’t let go. “Was this engagement Amanda’s idea?”

“Why would you jump to that conclusion?”

“She came with you to Belvedere that Monday, right after the story broke.” The two of them couldn’t wait to be together just as soon as he left me to go to work that morning.

“That’s right, Tabitha, she did. And while you ran, she stayed to help me sort out the mess.”

“My God! Can’t you see what she’s up to?” I stalk up and down in front of him like a caged tiger looking for an opportunity to strike.

He glares back. “After you fled in the taxi, reporters descended in droves. I had to deal with them. I promised them an interview if they came back in an hour. You’d long gone but Amanda stayed. She and I had an hour to thrash out how to handle things.”

“She wants to destroy me.” I feel I’ve been edged up to a crumbling cliff face and been left to plunge headlong over the side.

“Now you’re being ridiculous. She doesn’t even know you.”

“That only makes it worse.”

“How do you arrive at that assumption?”

I’m not going to tell him Amanda suspects how I feel about him. She sees me as her rival. One to be eliminated at any cost. “She’s in love with you.”

He can’t hide his shock. He thought he’d kept their secret well hidden but he recovers well. “She’s a friend.”

A friend he was kissing and holding at the ball. Why isn’t there a photograph of
that
in the newspapers? Because Amanda engineered this whole travesty, that’s why. Why can’t he see that?

“Well your
friend
wants to make sure we hate each other. What surer way than to concoct a plan that traps us together.”

It’s as if a thundercloud has swept his features. “Don’t fret your pretty little head about being trapped with me.” He sounds bitter and resentful. “As soon as the newspapers forget all about us, you can forget all about us too. Quick as you like.” He turns abruptly to face the wall.

I burst into tears and run from the room. Amanda’s so sly. How better to destroy her competition than hand me exactly what she knows I want on a platter? But make it a complete sham. What better way to kill any fledgling feelings Jack might harbour for me than by knowing I’ve ensnared him?

There’s nothing I want more in this world than to be with Jack but not like this. How can I even pretend to go along with such a farce for the press? It will kill me inside knowing he’s faking it; knowing soon enough he’ll abandon me all over again to marry her. I fly up the stairs, slam my bedroom door and lock it against the world.

“Open the door, Tabitha.” He’s right outside trying the handle. I didn’t even hear his footsteps behind me but he’s still following me; still hounding me. He rattles the door violently in its frame.

Face down on the bed, I bawl my eyes out. “Go away.”

“Open this door or I’ll kick it down.” Already his loathing of me is beginning to surface.

“It’s your door. Do what you like with it.” He does what he likes with me. I’m hurt and petulant.

“Fine. If that’s the way you want it.”

I hear him take a step backwards and hold my breath, waiting for the crash. There’s a muffled curse and the sound of one of the framed family pictures on the console table opposite my door as it crashes to the floor.

“Wait,” I yell. I don’t care if the chateau is legally his. It will always be Harry’s in my mind and I’ll leave it in good order. I creep over and listen for a second only to hear him breathing, fast and hard, on the other side.

“I’m waiting, Tabitha. Are you opening this door or am I coming through it?” His face sounds right up against the wood and like his patience has worn thin.

I turn the key, stepping back fast. He surges through before I have a chance to change my mind then stands with his hand on the door handle glaring at me. I wipe my eyes.

“You’re running again.”

I stare back. This sexy man has just announced his engagement to me and I’m devastated. It’s a mockery of every dream I ever held. My tears only seem to annoy him somehow. He stalks past me grabbing my wrist on his way and yanks me to sit on the bed beside him.

I try to pull my hand back but he’s not in the mood for concessions. For a moment we tug away childishly before I give up the fight. I can’t win so what’s the point? As soon as I stop struggling Jack releases his hold. He’s made his point. He knows he can make me do anything he wants to, one way or another. He just wants to make sure I know it too.

Grasping my chin he turns my face to meet his. “I never imagined the thought of being linked to me personally would be quite so hateful to you.” His voice is quiet but he seems upset with me.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I sniff. Jack reaches past me to catch up a tissue, handing it over so I can blow my nose. Let him think what he likes. I’m definitely not telling him any such mock relationship will devour me from the inside out. It’s like looking in a shattered mirror. “Let me go.”

He misunderstands me. “Too late for that. The media already believes we’re betrothed. I told them and I won’t let you make me out to be a liar. I’ll release you from the engagement just as soon as I deem it safe to do so and ideally find a reason that doesn’t destroy my credibility or yours.”

“I’m talking about my face. Let me go, you’re hurting me.” If I’m going down, I’m doing it with dignity. I try not to think too deeply about what he’s just said. He can’t wait to get shot of me and I just want to die.

“Oh.” He releases me like he’s been scalded. “Sorry.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t upset yourself, Tabitha. I wouldn’t dream of forcing a marriage between us. Can you imagine that? You and me?” He sneers with derision. “We can go our separate ways as soon as the press and public interest find someone else to inconvenience.”

“That might take some time. Media interest in you is legendary.” I’m not being sarcastic. I should know. I couldn’t escape every facet of Jack’s personal and professional life for the past four years, no matter how hard I tried. And I tried. “Women would beggar themselves to say they were engaged to Jack Keogh.”

“Not all women apparently.” He’s bitterly contemplative. No doubt fuming about the inconvenience of this enforced charade. “I’ll try to make it as painless as I possibly can.”

He has no idea of the impossibility of that where I’m concerned. Every day will be like waiting with my neck on the block for the axe to fall. Every day, a little bit more of me will be hacked open. I understand only too well. I’ve been in that place before and remember every excruciating moment of it. The only difference is, this time I will have to bear my misery in his constant presence. Every day a stark reminder of what I will never have and this time there’s nowhere to run and hide.

“What are you thinking?” he asks more gently.

That I’ll endure this with my pride intact if I can. “I wish you’d asked me first.” There’s ironic ambiguity in my answer. It’s a cherished fantasy that Jack would one day love me enough to ask me to marry him.

“I wish I’d had a chance to.” He reaches over, lifts my hand and plays with it in his lap. “At least let’s agree to make this as easy for each other as we can. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t think you want to hurt me either. Let’s agree to be civil. It won’t last forever.”

I can’t stop tears flowing again.

Standing, he releases my hand. His jaw is taut, his shoulders stiff, his lovely mouth a grim ruin. “I have to work.” He stalks out the door without looking back. “Don’t wait up.”

He’s running straight to Amanda. It’s her comfort he seeks, not mine. I’m the cause of all his troubles. The woman’s rotten scheme is working already.

I shower blindly before climbing into bed. After turning off the light I lie there going over everything in my mind. I’m mad at Jack, I’m mad at Amanda. I’m totally mad at myself. For some reason I think about Jack’s accusation about me over-achieving. But it only seemed that way as I was throwing myself into anything and everything, trying to work through the pain of my loss. I can do it again. Although it all bothers me, I begin to formulate a plan.

I refuse to be the push-over Amanda believes me to be. She’ll think she has me exactly where she wants me and that will be her weakness. But I won’t give up. I will do everything in my power to change Jack’s mind about me. And about her.

My love for Jack will find a way through this.

* * *

Morning birdsong filters through the shutters.

Jack didn’t even try to share my bed last night and I’m hurt by the realisation. So much for me being an addiction. He’s weaned himself off already. After telling me what he came here to tell me last night, he thinks I won’t be quite so amenable to a little casual fooling around.