Authors: Joyce Carol Oates
They'd kept him on a short leash like one of those pathetic little overbred dogsâjerking the leash anytime they wanted. He'd complained to his friends, bitter and aggrieved.
Years he'd been complaining. Since seventh grade at least.
Amber Bendemann would testify at the trial nobody thought Bart was serious!
Invasion of the Body Snatchers
he'd call itâ
he
was the body snatcher and his parents were the bodies.
I mean, like, if somebody really wanted to murder his parents would he talk about it so much? In the school cafeteria?
Amber has this whiny little-girl voice, when she uttered these words there was laughter in the courtroom and even among the jurors, and the judge said sternly
Quiet! There is nothing remotely amusing about these proceedings.
Bart had pleaded
not guilty
of course.
Though there was a possibility you could argue
self-defense.
It was far-fetched and tricky but the fact was, Laurence Hansen was a tall burly quick-tempered man outweighing his son by at least twenty pounds; if he'd been struck down by his son, Bart had to have done it in self-defense.
Obviously Bart's father had heard him come into the house. Had heard someone enter the house, through the garage. He'd been hiding in wait for the intruder, behind the bedroom door. It was misleading to claim that the father had been struck down helpless in bed, on his back.
Luckily, Laurence Hansen hadn't owned a handgun. Maybe he'd assumed that the Vector Security alarm was all that he needed to protect himself and his family.
What had freaked Bart outâhis father bellowing like a wounded calf. Lying in wait for him behind the door, and grabbing the door to open it as Bart pushed it stealthily open, and once he'd seen who the intruder was, once he'd identified Bart, and saw the ax in Bart's hands, what his failure as a parent was going to cost him, the man was doomed: for there was, for the vengeful ax, no turning back.
Like a kamikaze pilot. Their fuel was enough to get them to the target, not enough to return them back to the base. Once taken off in their kamikaze planes with the rising-sun insignia on the wings the young Japanese pilots could never return.
He'd seen a documentary on the kamikazes, on TV. Actual film footage of some of the pilots, the planes. Like brothers they were, so young, except they were Japs. And so long dead, it was like another world.
He'd
have given his life for some great cause.
He'd
been born at the wrong time.
Materialist sleaze decade 1990s, he'd been a young kid. You never shake off the toxins of your psychic environment.
All his generation. Like, accursed.
Second semester senior year at Rensselaer Day he'd spent in a dope haze with his friends. They'd taken SATs, they'd gotten their university acceptances/rejections, it was easy sledding downhill from there. He'd felt pretty good about Syracuse, the Sigma Nu chapter was a popular frat house on the Hill, his dad was Sigma Nu from the University of Michigan so he'd thought it would be a breeze getting pledged there but it had not worked out that way.
Rush week had been a stark shitty time for him. You could say, he'd never recovered from rush week freshman year.
So he'd pledged Delt-Sig. The guys had made him feel welcome. The guys had made him feel they needed
him
.
The other fraternities hadn't been impressed with Bart, much. There was a lot of high-pressure competition.
Just Delt-Sig and two other fraternities, one of them on academic probation, had sent Bart Hansen bids.
He'd gotten drunk. He'd gotten shit-faced falling-down drunk. Fuck Sigma Nu, fuck Deke, fuck the Beta Gams. He wouldn't have pledged the fuckers if they'd begged him.
Laurence Hansen had been Sigma Nu, University of Michigan '80. It was a stunning surprise how the Syracuse chapter hadn't given a shit for the Hansen legacy though Laurence Hansen had given the fraternity moneyâBart had reason to believe no less than five thousand dollars over all.
Start of rush week he'd thoughtâevery freshman in his residence had thoughtâthe Delt-Sigs were a bunch of losers, less than thirty actives living in the sprawling old Victorian house on Stadium Drive that looked like it had survived an A-bomb testingâlike the outside paint had been leached of all color and inside on the walls you'd see the ghost-silhouettes of people who'd been vaporized into the wall and there was a rumorâ(a rumor that turned out to be fact)âthat the property was double-mortgaged and could be foreclosed anytime. On the inside walls in fact were framed group photos of Delt-Sigs from previous yearsâdecades agoâthree times as many members, and looking pretty good; in 1957 for instance the Delt-Sigs had had
four rowers on the crew team
that had competed in the national finals and come in third place, and 1966â68 they'd had half the S.U. track team and a star diver who'd gone on to compete in the U.S. Olympics; there were Delt-Sig alums who were state congressmen and at least one U.S. congressman, of which the fraternity was proud. In more recent years it looked as if the fraternity had had “challenges”âwhy this was, no one seemed to know. But the Delt-Sigs Bart had talked with, the Delt-Sigs who'd talked with him, at rush, had been really nice to him, and funny, and interestingâturned out, they liked the music Bart liked, and video games, and TV programs, and shared his opinions about politics and lots of other thingsâthey'd made Bart feel
like he mattered.
So it turned out, pledging Delta Sigma meant more to Bart than he'd ever have expected. Telling his father he didn't give a fuck for Sigma Nu, he wouldn't accept a bid from Sigma Nu now, all that was finished. His mother knew, and sympathized. Telling him not to feel bad about his father's fraternity, just to make his own friends and forget the past.
So it was like she double-crossed him, a year laterâtwo years laterâsiding with his father saying
If the fraternity drains so much of your time and money we can't afford, and there are drinking parties every weekend, maybe it would be better ifâ
âmaybe a better use of your time for studying, a better use of your money for tuitionâ
âyour father can get you a summer internship he thinks at Squibbâ
You'd think they would've supported himâhis own parents! It had meant so much to Bart to be re-admitted to the university.
God damned university takes your money for the semester and
does not refund
.
Sophomore year he'd gotten into trouble and had been placed on “suspension”âhe'd returned home and enrolled in Rensselaer Community College a mile from the house, computer science, accounting, and economics. At the start of the semester things were OK, he missed the Delt-Sigs like hell but was attending classes and impressing his instructors, then somehow, who knows how, he'd gotten bored, missed classes, and hung out with his high school buddies smoking dope like old times so he'd blown all three of the courses he might've gotten A's inâthis was Rensselaer Community College for Christ's sake, this was not Syracuse University!âso had to make some arrangements with a guy he knew, he'd gotten introduced to, who could provide him with transcripts from the registrar he could forge, gave himself A's in computer science and accounting and a B+ in economics, which he figured he'd have gotten in any case if the semester had gone normally; and the surprise wasâthe dean's office at S.U. informed him that he was being “reinstated.”
This was awesome! His father and mother had been impressed and proud of him.
He'd been, like, proud of himself for once. Not made to feel like he was utter shit and looked down upon by the world.
Still he's pissed: forty-three thousand a year and if you flunk courses, or get incompletes, it's money down the toiletâjust
gone.
He's made to feel ashamed, he isn't technically a “junior” like his friends. (He might not graduate with his class, if things don't improve. He might not graduate!)
The fraternity is on his ass, too. Not his friends but the God-damned Delta Sigma Corporation, it's called.
To be re-activated in Delta Sigma you must repay all outstanding loans as well as a good-faith deposit of $1,500 for 2012.
He's insulted. He tries not to think of it. Though he was initiated into Delta Sigma he knows there are guys in the fraternity who never accepted himâonly just voted to admit him because the chapter needs members, it's in danger of going off-campus.
But mostly he's crazy for the fraternity. His only friends in the world are Delt-Sigs. He wears the little gold lapel pin in the (secret) shape of an Egyptian scarab, he's proud of. Jesus, he'd die for those guys.
Which is why he was so astonished, deeply wounded, and mortified in his soul, to learn that several Delt-Sigs betrayed him to the Rensselaer police.
In secret the police had “interviewed” every guy in the fraternity. In secret, at grand jury hearings Bart's lawyer Davis Deekman hadn't been allowed to attend, at least six of Bart's frat brothers gave statements that must've incriminated him, for the jury had handed down an indictmentâ
one count of homicide in the second degree, one count of aggravated assault with the intent to commit homicide, in the first degree.
Bart's account was, he'd remained at the Delt-Sig house all night. Lots of guys had seen him. He'd slept on the sofa in the basement in that room that's a kind of no-man's-land where spare furniture is kept, just lay on the old worn brown-leather sofa and slept, and didn't wake up until about 8
a.m
.âcame upstairs into the kitchen at about 8:30
a.m
. for breakfast.
(There's no formal breakfast at Delt-Sig, just breakfast supplies you help yourself to.)
Obviously, Bart had been at the frat house all night. Guys would testify to this, they'd seen him at about midnight, or later, upstairs; he'd gone downstairs to crash; then, in the morning, they saw him again, and would provide him with an alibi for the nightâit was the least he could expect of them and he'd been fucked, he'd never felt so betrayed, when at least three of the guys, the guys he'd been counting on, broke down when the detectives interviewed them saying that they hadn't seen Bart except before about 1
a.m
. and after 8
a.m
.
His brain just shuts off. Thinking of this enormity is like trying to shove some outsized object like a tennis racket into a small space like the inside of his skull.
It was a weird story like something on TV. Trying to comprehend it Bart has the idea it is something he'd actually seen on TV but not recently, when he'd been a little kid maybe.
All he knew was, he'd wakened in the frat house. He'd come upstairs and talked with the guys, he was feeling kind of excitable and high since he'd had a good night's sleep, only a mild headache from the beer of the previous night, and some heartburn from the pizza, but he was feeling really good, and thinking of going to some of his old classes just to sit at the back of the lecture hall, to show his serious intentions, though he hadn't actually goneâand next thing he knew, at about noon, the first sign that things were fucked-up, a reporter for the Syracuse newspaper came to the frat house, bulled his way inside and asked if “Bart Harrison”â“who lives in East Rensselaer”âwas on the premises; and one of the guys went to find Bart, and Bart swallowed hard and was following him back, just knowing this had to be some kind of bummer, and it was at that moment that the Rensselaer PD cruiser pulled up outside the frat house at about thirty miles an hour and conspicuously braked to a stop. And nothing was ever the same again.
Jesus! Like the earth opened, and I fell inside.
And just fell and fell and fell.
. . .
He'd been so surprised. So shocked. He hadn't been able to comprehend what the police officers were telling him at first.
His father's deathâ“murder.”
His mother, severely injured, in a coma in the Rensselaer hospitalâ“in critical condition.”
Crudely the police officers revealed this terrible news. Crudely and coldly eyeing the Hansens' twenty-year-old son Bart with scarcely concealed contempt and Bart had notâhad not Âcomprehendedâso stunned, the roaring in his ears so distracting, he hadn't comprehended what any of them were telling him out of earshot of the Delt-Sigs somberly gathered in the front hall of the frat houseâhadn't fully comprehended the newsâfor he'd believed he had heardâhe was certain, he'd heardâthat they'd informed him that both his parents were deadâLouisa and Laurence, both deadâmurdered. He'd been utterly surprised. Eyes widened, and tears welling in his eyesâhyperventilating and beginning to bawl like a baby soâshocked.
Myâparents? Somebody killed myâparents?
My mom? My dad?
He'd been panicked, he would be required to identify the bodies.
His father! His mother! Hisâ
mother.
He'd bawled like a baby mashing his fists into his eyes.
He'd had to sit down. The elasticized waistband of his jockey shorts cutting into his skin in that way he hated, and a hot smell of his body wafting from him to the detectives' nostrils judging from their expressions, a bad smell.
My parents! My parents areâdead.
. . .
I don't believe it! It can't be real!
I just t-talked to them the otherâyesterday morningâthey wanted me to come home this weekend but I, IâI explained to themâ
The police officers were quiet, regarding him. In their eyes he saw no sympathy, which was shocking to him, unnerving.
He hadn't been prepared for the astonishment to come.