EXALTED (An Exalted Novel) (15 page)

He shrugs his shoulders, and then abruptly stops walking like he’s hit an invisible wall. “I want to finish first, Mena.”

I look at him bewildered. “I know you do.”

“No, I mean I have to finish first. My parents will never accept anything less. I
know
you’ll finish first.” He pauses. “If I can’t beat Az, would you consider waiting—so you could finish second with me?”

Shock, confusion, anger, flattery, and a whole host of other emotions bubble inside me like a pot of boiling water. My mouth hangs open like it’s waiting to catch a fly. I start to talk several times before something that makes sense comes out. “I don’t know Ethan. I mean . . . I’ll have to think about it.” Even though I’m off the Pump, I still have the desire to finish first. I don’t think that will ever change. “Let’s just worry about it after the first two Trials. Okay?” My gaze falls to the ground.

When I look back up at Ethan, I see that he looks defeated. I suddenly feel horrible about the answer I gave him. My hearts hurts for him, but I’m no fool. “Would you do the same for me, if it was the other way around? It may very well be, you know. I am up against Kinah.”

“I . . . ”

“Quit fraternizing with losers, Mena.” Az interrupts Ethan before he can answer.

Where did he come from?
It’s like he just appeared out of thin air. I panic—I hope he didn’t see us smiling. Outwardly, I play it cool and volley back an insult of my own. “I could say the same to you. Where’s your sidekick, Kinah? I bet you can’t wait until the United Ceremony when you two are
joined
for life
.” I stress the last three words.

We once again continue walking, the three of us together now, to the cafeteria for our carefully planned lunches. Az has nothing to say after my comment. It’s probably for the best because Ethan looks like he could punch him. I see my friend shove his balled-up fists deep into his pockets. He’s trying to keep Az from seeing the anger that’s building up inside him.

As we all walk in silence, I consider Ethan’s proposal. I also think about what Ryker told me about love. He said that when you love someone you would give up everything for the other person.
Do I love Ethan? Could I give up everything for him?
I can’t make that decision yet. I feel affection for him, my insides get warm when I’m around him, and I’m even more comfortable with him than my best friend, Val, but I’m not sure that it’s love.
How will I know?
If I stay here in the Republic, he’d be my first choice for the United Ceremony. He is amazingly strong, gifted, and most importantly he’s kind to me. I would have a happy life here with him, even if we were only able to be ourselves behind the closed doors of our living quarters. But I’m still not sure I could live with the knowledge of knowing that Dr. Fredericks and his Ambassadors continue to numb the entire Republic. It wouldn’t be fair that the two of us were the only ones that got to have the freedom of our minds. The guilt would eat at me everyday. There would never be any relief.

We all separate and eat at our gender specific tables on opposite sides of the room. Val is already at our table, sitting quietly as she eats her meal. She doesn’t look up at me as I take a seat across from her. There are no emotions in her dull eyes, but I can tell that they’re focused on something only she can see.

“Val, how did your morning training go?” I ask, my voice soft so no one can overhear.

Her eyes are unfocused, though she’s trying to clear her vision from the thoughts in her head. Finally, her gaze settles on my inquisitive face. She answers, “Not great. I never completed our Defender’s Course.” I notice her right cheek is puffy and red. “Millie clobbered me in the face on my last attempt—right at the end,” she admits.

“It’s okay, Val. Lots of Exalted don’t finish their Defender’s Course and still end up placing well.”

“I know I will place well, but I should have been able to finish the course.”

Of course, the Pump is speaking for her. What a waste of time, trying to comfort Val about not performing well. The purple pills don’t allow her to think any differently about how she will finish in the Trials. I need to be more careful about my word choice in the future. Hiding facial expressions and projecting confident Exalted body-language is easy for me. Watching my mouth, however, is proving to be a little more difficult.

“How did your last day on the course go?” she inquires.

Give an Exalted answer
, I tell myself. “I finished it. Got over the wall on my last turn.”
Good. Simple. Confident answer.

“That’s good. I’ll make sure Kinah hears about it,” Val says, and then she turns back to her meal.

I can smell the stink before we even cross the opening of the North Gate. Brian, the North Gate’s head guard, is waiting for us by the pigpen. Dirty piglets squeal at one another as they fight for their mother’s milk. The sturdy older man waves us over. At least, that’s what I think he’s doing. He could very well be swatting flies away.

The head guard wears one purple stripe across his bicep, the same as Basav; the East Gate’s head guard. Though Brian is not as physically impressive as Basav, there is something about him that commands just as much respect. “Okay trainees, all the different animal areas stretch back further than you can see. We have the pigs here, cow pastures north of the small fish and crawfish ponds, chicken coops just left of the pigs, and the horse stalls and their fields are north of the barns and west of the cow pastures.” Brian speeds through all of the areas without taking a single breath. Ready to get us out of his curly brown hair, he directs us to our designated patrol grounds. “Ethan, you’ll be patrolling the cow pastures and the fish and crawfish ponds. Mena, you’ll be with the horses in their fields and stalls. Now get to work.” He claps his hands together.

“Yes, sir!” we answer together.

As I look around at all the dirty animals, I realize that I sure lucked out by being assigned to the horses. I would have hated to be around the reeking pigs or cows all day. I try to remember which direction Brian told me the horse stalls and fields are. Ethan is already well on his way to his assigned destination before I remember which way to go. As I set off, I look up at the receding North Gate watchtower and wonder if my father is on duty today. He is one of the two guards that watch over the farms from above.

Farm citizens scurry about performing their daily chores. They are all dressed in a dreary brown color with their pants tucked into brown boots. An elderly, female citizen pours corn into a trough for swine that snort in delight. I trudge past the hungry pigs and past the two red wooden barns that have seen better days.

A short distance from the two red structures is a longer building. It resembles the barns, but lacks a second story or hayloft. It also has more windows. Instead of red paint, it dons a sad gray-blue color. It also happens to be peeling and cracking with age. Snorts and neighs echo down the middle corridor of the open aired building. I enter, inspecting stall after stall. As I pass the large horses, one catches my eye as she bats her thick eyelashes at me. She pulls my attention away from my duty. I want more than anything to pet her soft nose and stroke her silky coat. Unfortunately, farm citizens are coming in and out with hay, while others are cleaning and grooming the beautiful beasts. They ignore me, but I probably shouldn’t be standing around petting horses. I reluctantly move on.

Upon my second inspection of the building, I can’t resist. I casually approach the same brown mare. She’s beautiful, with splotches of white all over her strong body. I pretend to inspect her stall for hidden marauders. I gaze into her knowing eyes and run my hand up her forehead and then down the side of her face. Her skin puckers and twitches under my touch. She blows air out of her mouth in approval of the affection. I brush my cheek over her velvety nose. She is soft and strong at the same time. I like that.

I never knew that I could like an animal so much. The other animals seemed dirty and annoying with their constant clucking and squealing, but these horses are absolutely majestic. Their natural strength reminds me of us, the Exalted. The most beautiful is the mare with the painted coat. She will give me something to look forward to when I come back to this stink-hole for patrol. Maybe duty at the North Gate won’t be as bad as I thought. I only hope that Ryker can find me here.

Surprisingly, the acreage the horses have to roam is covered in lush green grass. The Republic picked the perfect location for the horses to roam. Grass does grow in parts of the post war world, but mostly the land is dried-up and dusty. Although, the Republic chose an area that was minimally affected by the bombs and climate change, I have never seen such a breathtaking landscape as the one the horses get to enjoy everyday. The smell of hay and fresh air delight my nose. The sight of the grassy meadow, oak trees, and little clovers with white puffy tops leaves me in awe. Walking the length of this fenced off land takes a while, but I am enjoying every second of it. What a change from the monotonous cornfields. I feel happy here.

Maybe this is what life is like outside of the Republic; free to roam the grasslands whenever you choose. That’s probably wishful thinking since marauder villages would surely need to protect themselves like we do here. They probably aren’t able to leave the protection of the communities either. I’ll have to ask Ryker about that. I would love to see the big lake where he lives and swim in its cool waters. I would float on my back and look up at the blue-sky, while listening to the birds chirp and sing.

The Third Trial will be here before I know it and I’ll have to make the choice whether to stay or leave. I have decided that whatever my choice, it will not be about a boy. It will be about what’s best for me and ultimately what’s best for the people that are slaves to the Republic. I won’t lie though—I do have Ethan and Ryker constantly in my head, confusing my thoughts on the matter.

* * *

Ryker did not come to see me today.

But Ethan is here beside me, like he always seems to be. We walk side-by-side with matching paces as we head to dinner. Once inside the gate that marks the North entrance, I ask him about his afternoon. “How was your shift?”

“The cows smelled really bad. I slipped in the mud and fell down the side of a crawfish pond. I’m still not dry yet.” He shakes his damp leg like a wet dog. “How about you?” he asks.

I want to laugh, but I feel guilty for having had such a wonderful time with the horses. I won’t lie to Ethan about it though. Lying is something I’ve recently been trying to do less of. “It was great. The horses are beautiful. I just wish I could have ridden one.”

“Well, at least one of us enjoyed ourselves. I’m glad it was you.”

I smile at him when he says this. My heart grows warm. I want to touch him without drawing attention to us, so I brush my shoulder up against his. “Thanks,” I say. He leans into me in response.

Dinner for Ethan and I is the quick. We have to participate in a make up class for the afternoon’s survival training that we missed. Kwan and Trudi are also joining us for the review that is being given by Force in the gymnasium. I’m not envious of the other trainees that get to relax and mentally prepare for the First Trial tomorrow. The anxiety over the wait would kill me. I would be a ball of nerves, counting the seconds tick by on a clock. By having an evening class, it will stop my mind from wandering.

Force is ready to get started as soon as we enter the gym. “Come to this table. We’re going to have to cover everything from the afternoon in half the time. Listen up and pay attention.” He sits in a chair while we sit before him on the ground. “As you know you’ll all be dropped in various locations. There’s a good possibility that you may never use all of the information that we cover. That doesn’t mean that it’s not all-important. You could die from eating the wrong thing.” He glares at each of us until we nod in confirmation.

Force leans forward in his metal chair and opens up a botany book full of colorful pictures. He says, “Here are a couple types of cactus that are edible. You can eat them raw or cooked.” He points to a photo of a prickly pear cactus and nopales with round flat pads. The colorful prickly pear looks way more appetizing than the green ones. “Make sure you shave all the stickers off before you ingest them.”
Really? That should be self-explanatory.

It’s amusing to see Force sitting here with a book in his lap, as if he’s reading a story to a bunch of toddlers. It just doesn’t look right. I giggle on the inside.

Force flips through the book. He stops on a page filled with umbrella shaped fungi. “Mushrooms. It’s sometimes hard to tell the difference between edible and inedible mushrooms. Try to stay clear of them if you can, but if you must, stick with the ones you know. Check the gills, cap, and stem.” He points out some morels, puffballs, and a few other edible types of mushrooms.

He shows us a few other plants to avoid and some that could be eaten if needed, before moving on to fish. “A few of the trainees will possibly come across bodies of water that haven’t dried up. You can put together a makeshift fishing pole and catch whatever’s in there.” Force reaches across the table and grabs a smooth, five-foot long tree branch. “Find a good long branch to use as a pole. If you happen to find some type of string along the way, great, if not, you can use your shoelaces. Tie the laces together and then tie one end to the pole. You’ll have to be creative with your hook. You could us a safety pin or some type of bendable metal object from your equipment; use your head.” He taps the side of his shiny bald skull.