EXALTED (An Exalted Novel) (11 page)

In an effort to avoid the tree surrounded by cacti and crates, I cross back toward the dying, mostly burned tree that sits next to the pond. It would be impossible for someone to hide in or near the tree. There is no foliage to take cover in, and there is a wide v-shaped split right through the trunk, leaving a glimpse of the other side. I drop my guard as I make my approach. I find a secure location and squat down with my back against the rough bark of the tree. I scout my next path.

To the left is a grouping of two massive trees and dense shrubs. To the right is a patch of only shrubs. The path to the right is too easy. That’s where I will find trouble. I decide to travel closer to the grouping.

As I stand to advance further into the Defender’s Course, I’m surprised by something heavy, smacking into my back. Garret has launched himself out of the pond and onto my shoulders. He’s soaking my clothes with pond water and trying to choke the life out of me. I grab one of his arms that lie across my shoulder. I heave him over the top of me, which causes water to spray in an arc. It saturates my face. I hurriedly wipe my eyes in time to see him land on his back in front of me. He immediately jumps up into a fighting stance.

With the brief pause in our fight, I realize, he was hiding in the pond! I’m dumbfounded that I never considered the possibility. Garret is correct; I’m not ready for the Third Trial yet.

And to prove his point, my instructor lunges for me, whipping a sword through the air. I jump straight up, grasping one of the tree’s dying limbs and tuck my legs up against my body. The branch breaks with a loud crack, and I fall to the ground. He takes his kill shot.

I’m dead.

After the morning training session, Ethan and I walk to the cafeteria together. We discuss our weak performances. Ethan is disgusted with himself for being beaten in hand-to-hand combat against one of Garret’s assistants. “He’s a fourth place United!” he cries out. He’s furious and lashes out, kicking the ground hard. It leaves a divot in the soil.

I look around, frantically searching for anyone who may have noticed his outburst. Luckily, there are only two citizens pruning some bushes nearby. They are completely focused on the task at hand and don’t appear to have seen or heard anything unusual.

“Get a hold of yourself.” I plead with him as we approach the Exalted’s main training building.

After taking a deep breath, he apologizes, “Sorry. My parents are putting so much pressure on me, which is making me put a lot of pressure on myself. I want this so bad.” He shakes his head.

Ethan carefully brushes his calloused hand across the top of mine for an instant. He closes the gap between us; my cheeks burn from the close contact. This gesture is the first time he’s touched me in an affectionate manner. 

He casually changes the subject to discuss my performance. “You did great today though, Mena. I never would have expected one of them to be hiding in that pond. You responded quickly. It’s just too bad about that tree breaking like it did.”

“Thanks, but I think Garret would disagree with you,” I state.

Our time alone together is over too soon. We are already at the Exalted training facility for our scheduled mealtime. We both straighten and pull away from each other up as we enter the building. We are careful to mold our faces into the typical Exalted scowl. It has become second nature to me, this act of putting a rigid mask on when we get near others. I hope that one day I’ll be able openly expression my emotions.

Ethan sits with the boys, leaving me to the company of Val and a few other girls.

“How was your morning?” I slide into the seat across from my roommate and begin to pick at my bland vegetables. I’ve decided that broccoli stinks.

“Fine. We are still working on target practice. We should be moving onto our course pretty soon.” She cups her hand on the side of her mouth and lowers her voice. “We’re being held back by Adira over there. We won’t have to worry about her in the Trials.”

I wince at her loose tongue. There are other trainees close by. One day, one of them is going to hear her and make her pay for her indiscretion.

But since she started it, I might as well find out what I can. “How are the rest of them doing?” I whisper back.

Truthfully, I still want to be first, should my fate be to stay here in the Republic. I need to continue to learn about my competition, and what better way—if I can’t see for myself—than from Val.

Looking around the room, Val decides it’s safe to continue gossiping. Before she continues, she comes to sit next to me. We hunch over, close to one another, while she whispers, “I heard Kinah’s been paired with Az for training. So, she’s stronger than the other males in her class.” She looks at me to see if I’ll say anything. When I don’t, she adds, “On a positive note, the two girls in my class shouldn’t be a problem. Kwan and Trudi have been so tight lipped about their sword training. I have no idea what to expect. I only know what we’ve seen of them in combat training.”

“Hmmm. We’ll have to keep a close eye on Kinah in combat training. It’s too bad they don’t let us actually fight each other until the Trials. We’re only doing what they show us right now. We really have no idea what her weaknesses are. But I guess we’ll see soon enough.” I try to reassure her, even though I know she’s still under the Pump’s influence. She doesn’t feel any fear about the future. Maybe that’s a good thing.

After catching a glimpse of several of the girls watching us, Val straightens up and changes the subject. She speaks in a normal voice, but doesn’t move back across from me. “I saw your father on duty yesterday. Have they given you any expectations about how they want you to place in the Trials?”

Thinking back over the past couple of weeks, they only spoke about the Trials once. “Well, of course they want me to finish first, but only expect me to place as well as them. I don’t have any siblings so they haven’t raised the bar for me. What about your parents?”

“My parents mention it every single time I see them. And they keep reminding me about my first and second place brother and sister. I have to at least place second or I’ll dishonor them.” Val’s parents have always pressured her to be as strong as her siblings, and she may end up meeting that expectation, but I fear for her going up against Kinah. The odds are against her.

We quiet, not saying out loud what we’re both thinking. She and I will be fighting each other for that top spot, especially if Kinah is taking the other one—which she will be. Val is the only female friend I have. It doesn’t feel right to plot against her. I know that she broke her wrist when she was a child, and it never healed perfectly. If I were to give one solid blow to that spot on her arm, it would snap like a twig, rendering her useless to her bow and her wicked right punch. I scold myself for even thinking such thoughts. I will never use that against her. If I win, it will be fairly. Nor will I ever tell anyone of her weakness . . . I hope she does the same for me.

As if hearing my internal monologue, Val lets me in on a secret she shared with Kinah. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. I told Kinah the other day that your upper cuts suck.”

Yes, I decide, Val is the good friend I thought she was. “Thanks.”

“No problem. Somebody has to beat that amazon.” For somebody still taking the Pump, Val is definitely pushing its limits. She would be amazing without it. I wish I could laugh out loud with her here in this dull cafeteria and bring some life and light into it. It’s been the same boring gray room since I can remember.

Combat training is coming to an end. This last week is being spent reviewing the skills we learned over the past five weeks. Some moves include weapons and some do not. Garret and Millie stress that we should be prepared for any situation in the field.

I feel prepared physically, but not mentally.
What am I fighting for?
That is a question that has been plaguing me. Is it to keep the people of the Republic tame and under Dr. Fredericks’ control? Is it to kill hungry scavengers looking for food? Is it to be United with someone I don’t choose? It has to stop . . . all of it.

My time spent on patrol is the only time I have to myself without external interruptions. I think about these issues all the time. They constantly fill me with a range of emotions: anger, rage, confusion, fear, denial. I’ve felt all these things, but I haven’t felt confidence, happiness, or strength.
These are things I should be feeling, right?

The sun is still low this morning in the cornfields, keeping the scorching heat at bay for the time being. Even the heat of the day seems hotter now that I’m off the Pump.

Harvest is tomorrow. I take in the details of the plump, yellow kernels one last time. With my palms open, I run both hands along the flourishing cornstalks while I make my rounds. Strong fingers entwine with my own. My breath catches and I stop walking. I smell rain and sweat all at once. A smile breaks across my face. I turn to see him standing behind me.

Ryker doesn’t let go of my hand. “Where have you been?” I ask still breathless. I thought my emotions had settled down, but Ryker has an effect on me that I can’t explain. He stirs something inside me, makes me feel alive. I glance back at the wall that surrounds the Republic.
I don’t feel alive in there
.

“It’s been too dangerous getting here. I’ve been watching you though.” He looks down as he admits this to me. The rich brown of the soil is the same color as his eyes. I want him to look back up at me again. I unexpectedly reach out and lift his chin. His facial stubble scratches my fingers.

My face burns with embarrassment from such a bold action. This seems to happen a lot when I’m around Ryker. I try to talk my way around it like it didn’t happen, “The Trials start in a few days.”

He frowns and his face becomes full of sorrow with the firsthand knowledge of what I will have to endure. “I know. I don’t want you to have to go through any of it. I would take you with me right now if I could.”

“Why can’t you?” I haven’t even decided if that’s what I want, but I still want to hear his answer all the same. Leaving behind my parents and my friends would be difficult. There’s also the fact that I’m still hardwired with the need to be first and finish the Trials. I can’t see that ever changing.

“Exalted can’t be Taken.” His voice is strained. “We’re too strong. So if you did happen to disappear from duty one day, they’d come after you, hunt you down, and kill you for being a traitor. And when they do come after you, it will lead them straight back to our people. We’d never be able to defend ourselves. We only have a few Exalted. The villagers are no match for them.” His face is tortured as he looks at me.

I shiver at the thought of Garret, Force, Basav, or Millie tracking me down. They are more deadly than I could ever hope to be. I would never put anyone else at risk of having to defend themselves against such a lethal group.

“I understand,” I say with disappointment, “but how can you expect me to live here with them after everything you’ve told me about the Republic? I have to pretend to be someone else every second of the day. I’m exhausted. I’m angry.” I’m suddenly angry with Ryker as well.
How could he have left me alone for so long without any answers?
I decid to just ask him about it. “All this time you haven’t been around to help me get through this. I needed answers. I needed someone to explain to me what I was feeling. I needed . . . you.”

I just chided him, yet a twinkle of hope passes across his face like a shooting star. “You can still choose to leave.”

“How? When?”

“During the Third Trial, like I did. They’ll think you died.”

I jerk my hand free of his and drop to the dusty ground below me. My body is suddenly too heavy for my legs. The gravity of it all pulls me down. Everything I have ever trained for would be for nothing if I left. My parents and friends would think I’m dead. Worse actually, they’d be shamed by the knowledge that I’d failed my Trials. My name would become illegal and they’d eventually forget me like the rest of the Republic. Walking away will be harder than anything I’ve ever had to do. But how can I stay when it’s all such a lie? How can I stay when there are more wrongs than rights here?

I also consider the reality of Uniting with someone the Republic picks for me. I believe that I could be truly happy with Ethan if we were United, but I want to be the one to make that decision.
And what about Ryker? I’m drawn to him. It’s a feeling I have felt with no other man, except maybe Ethan. It’s more powerful with Ryker, though. I am very . . . confused.

He crouches down to my level and puts his hand on my shoulder, ever so softly. His hand touches my bare skin and it sends a jolt of electricity through my core. “It’s your decision. I know how hard it is to leave everything you’ve ever known behind.” He looks into my worried eyes, as if searching for answers to his own questions.

Sweat trickles down my back. It reminds me of what I’m supposed to be doing out here in this field. But before I stand, I ask, “What would I even be leaving here for? You haven’t told me what’s out there. For all I know it could be worse than here.” I point to the horizon and to the unknown.

Ryker looks disappointed, but then paints a beautiful picture of life outside the Republic’s walls. It’s a life that I could be a part of one day. “We live free. There’s no mind control. We decide our own fates. There’s no one to tell us to fight or to kill. We have villages that surround a huge lake. It’s stocked full of fish. We grow crops like you have here. We build our own houses and decorate them any way we’d like. We live as families. We Unite or marry because we want to . . . because we’re in love.”