Expecting to Fly (11 page)

‘Oh poor India Jane,’ said Leela and she put her arm around me.

‘How did Joe leave it?’ asked Brook.

‘He didn’t hang around. He left soon after. No kiss. No text later. No nothing.’

‘Have you contacted him?’ asked Zahrah.

I shook my head. ‘I want to, I just don’t know what to say.’

At that moment, I saw Sam come out of the common room. He clocked Brook straight away and came over.

‘Where’s Joe?’ asked Leela. Sometimes I can’t believe her! Subtlety is not one of her strong points.

Sam shrugged. ‘Haven’t seen him. Why?’ he asked, then looked at me. ‘I thought you knew his every move.’

‘I . . . er . . .’ I so didn’t want Sam to know what had happened in case he gloated. ‘Yeah. Course. I saw him yesterday.’

‘I’m having a party on Friday night,’ Brook blurted. ‘Want to come?’

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that Sam was going into flirt mode and wasn’t going to goad me about Joe.

‘Maybe,’ he said. ‘Who is going to be there?’

Brook was so cool, it was brilliant and, when she secretly winked at me, I realised that she had seen how uncomfortable I was and was distracting him. She didn’t reply immediately.
‘Who is going to be there? Well, not my mum. She’s going to the theatre with a bunch of friends. And . . . I wasn’t planning on a big party. VIPs only, so that would leave, me and
. . .’ She took a step closer to him and slowly raised her eyes up to his, ‘you.’

Leela raised an eyebrow at me.

‘Sounds like a party to me,’ Sam said in a throaty voice. He was well hooked. I wanted to laugh.
Like, way to go Brook,
I thought.
Result
.

‘God, it’s getting hot around here,’ said Zahrah, and she made a motion as if fanning herself. We all cracked up, even Sam.

After he’d gone, Brook grinned at us. ‘I saw someone do that in a movie,’ she said. ‘I’ve been dying to try it out.’

‘Impressive,’ said Leela, then her face fell. ‘But you know what this means? I am going to be the only singleton. It’s the Easter hols next week and, India, you’ll
be with Joe —’

‘You don’t know that. He hates me.’

‘You’ll make it up. He’s so into you, anyone can see that. He’s not going to roll over and let some Italian boy swan in and take you off him, even if Bruno is a love god.
Joe’s probably planning some great romantic come-back as we speak.’

‘Yeah right,’ I said. Joe was lovely, but so far he hadn’t been big on the romantic gestures, that was for sure. His style was to be cool.

‘And you will be with Sam,’ Leela continued to Brook.

‘Not necessarily,’ she said, then she grinned. ‘Although it is just a matter of time.’

‘Exactly,’ said Leela. ‘And you, Zahrah, you’ve got Ryan.’

Zahrah nodded. ‘And we have got a lot of plans for over Easter, it’s true, but hey Leela, you know you’re always welcome to —’

‘To tag along like a great gooseberry? No thanks. I shall stay at home, in my bedroom with the blinds down, listening to sad songs about loneliness and being single . . .’ She pulled
such a sad face and, even though I knew she was messing about playing the clown, I could tell that there was an element of truth behind it all. I remembered how I had felt when I first came to
London, before I had my new mates, and my cousin Kate was always out and about with her boyfriend, and I had no one to hang out with.

‘OK, how about this?’ I said. ‘Come with me to meet Bruno on Saturday. You wouldn’t be tagging along because we’re not a couple, he’s not my boyfriend
—’

‘Brilliant plan,’ said Zahrah. ‘And you can tell Joe that Leela is going with you, India Jane. He can’t get too possessive knowing that you have a chaperone.’

Leela rolled her eyes. ‘You make it sound like I’m a character out of Jane Austen, but really, could I come along?’

‘Course,’ I said and I meant it, but I also felt a sinking feeling that I wouldn’t get any time alone with Bruno after all.

After school, I went to Starbucks and bought a block of cinnamon chocolate. My dad has called me Cinnamon Girl since I was born. Partly because of my colouring; my coppery hair
and my eyes are amber – the colour of cinnamon spice Dad says, and partly because one of his favourite songs is by Neil Young and is called ‘Cinnamon Girl’. Just before Christmas,
I bought a bar of the chocolate for Joe and then got it all over my teeth, which wasn’t a good look, but the day I gave it to him was the beginning of something because soon afterwards we got
together.

I went around to his house armed with my peace offering. I knew that he was there, because I had got Leela to call straight after school and see if he picked up – which he did. Of course,
we dialled 141 first so that, if he was there and rang the number back to see who the last caller was, he wouldn’t know who it was, although when he answered the phone, Leela disguised her
voice and went into a mad act pretending to be someone calling to sell kitchen design. That girl can be bonkers at times. I hope he didn’t realise it was her.

Five o’clock on the dot, I rang his doorbell.

His mum, Charlotte, had her hair wrapped up in a towel when she opened the door. ‘Hi India Jane, go on up.’ Scuse the look, wet hair,’ she said and let me past.

Before I could lose my nerve, I raced up the stairs and knocked on the door.

‘Yep,’ said Joe.

‘It’s me.’

A few moments later, the door opened and Joe stood aside to let me in.

I went in and sat on the end of the bed. ‘OK. I . . . I want to explain about Bruno.’

Joe put up his hand. ‘Look, before we go any further, I have something I want to say to you. This thing, you know, you, me. If you want out, India Jane, I want you to say so. I don’t
believe in staying with someone if you want to move on or if you’re feeling trapped or whatever. Believe me, I’ve been there and it’s not nice. So. If you want to be free, I
understand. No one would understand better than me. If you want to date other boys, fine. We can still —’

‘Be friends?’ I finished for him.

Joe smiled. ‘Yeah. I think we could.’

I felt a wave of sadness come over me as I looked at him sitting there in his jeans and black T-shirt, the slight curve of muscle on his upper arms, his hair in need of a cut and those beautiful
green eyes with the circle of blue around the iris. No mistaking, he was gorgeous and I still fancied him like mad. I so didn’t want to break up with him.

‘Friends?’ I asked.

He nodded. ‘If that’s what you want.’

‘What do you want?’

‘I don’t know. Win the lottery. Get a publishing deal to go to India and take photos. Five A-star A-levels.’

‘You know what I mean.’

Joe took my hand. ‘I do. I want you to be happy and I want to be in a relationship where I can trust the person I’m with. This Bruno thing, I just wish you’d told me the truth.
I mean, hey, I know we both have pasts, have dated other people, fancied other people. I would naïve to think you hadn’t.’

I decided to follow Zahrah’s advice and go for the truth. ‘Exactly. I wish I’d told you the truth. I am so sorry, Joe, I can’t tell you. All I can say is I am new to this
relationship thing and I know I messed up big time. I made a mistake, I did, but I regret it. I do. I don’t want to break up with you and be your friend. I don’t. I do want to see Bruno
though. I’ve known him a long time and OK, yeah, we did have a few moments back there, but it’s over. I mean, he lives in Italy and I’m here, but also . . . there’s another
reason that I didn’t tell you the truth. After Tyler that time, I didn’t want to upset you . . .’

‘Yeah. I know I was out of order that time. And of course boys are going to find you attractive,’ he said, then grinned. ‘Poor Tyler, I bet he was gutted when he found out you
were with me. You’re stunning, India Jane, and you’re fun to be with. Boys are always going to look at you and I realise I have to deal with it, but you have to tell me the truth about
what you want and what is really going on with you.’

‘Deal. OK. Truth. Bruno is coming over. I do want to see him. I want to be friends with him. Come too, if you want.’

Joe shrugged. ‘I can’t now. I told Sam and Chris I’d hang out.’

‘Leela’s coming.’

‘Leela?’

‘Yeah. She’s the only one of us without a boyfriend and I promised I’d introduce her to Bruno.’

Joe grinned again. ‘Now
that
I like the sound of. But Brook, she’s single isn’t she?’

‘Not for long, I think. She and Sam are having a private party on Friday night.’

Joe raised an eyebrow.

‘If we’re being honest Joe, can I ask something else?’

‘Shoot.’

‘No games with us.’

‘No games? Meaning?’

‘Meaning – when I was mysterious about Bruno, you said you had something you might be doing at Easter weekend, like you were playing games, tit for tat sort of thing, getting back at
me by being secretive.’

‘Not a game,’ said Joe. ‘OK. I guess this is a good time to tell you. You have been so good about trying to work out things for us to do, I thought I’d return the favour.
Easter weekend. A trip away. My mum asked your parents already because I wanted it to be a surprise, and they said it would be OK as long as I didn’t pounce on you and I promised not to,
least not any more than usual.’

‘Trip away? Where to?’

‘Bath. Loads to do, see. Another river for me to photograph. Maybe even paint. My uncle and aunt live there and had invited Mum and Dad and me to go, so I asked if you could come as well.
They said you’d be very welcome if you’d like to join us and Mum is cool with it, too. Dad’s not coming. He’s got to stay in London and catch up on work. If you come, it
means Mum can do her own thing. What do you think?’

‘Bath? Yes. Fab. I’ve always wanted to go there. And you might have promised not to pounce on me, but I haven’t promised not to pounce on you.’ I pushed him back and slid
next to him to kiss him. As he leaned forward to kiss me back, I thought,
I must remember this in the future. I think I know what people are thinking sometimes, but actually, I don’t. I
really, really don’t know what goes on in anybody else’s head. So much of it, my imagination makes up. The truth is a lot more fun.

‘I so thought Joe was through with me,’ I said to Leela as we came out of the tube station at Tottenham Court Road, ‘but actually I’d projected what I
was imagining in my head on to him. Like, I thought he was mad with me or would want to break up, and all the time he’d been planning this lovely trip.’

‘So he did come through with the romantic gesture in the end, then?’ she replied, as she got out her umbrella to shield us from a shower. ‘I thought you said that he
wasn’t big on romance.’

‘I know and that wasn’t fair. I’d forgotten at Christmas he did a compilation CD for me, mainly love songs and one of the tracks was ‘Cinnamon Girl’ by Neil Young.
That was romantic I guess.’

‘
Yeah.
That is so sweet. Most boys wouldn’t ever think of doing something like that and you can keep the CD for ever,’ she said.

I nodded. I realised that I had been taking Joe for granted lately, forgetting how lovely he could be sometimes, but yesterday it felt like we were back on track and things were as good as they
had ever been, plus we had our first trip away together to look forward to. I couldn’t wait.

Leela and I had both made an effort with our appearances for Bruno, and Leela looked gorgeous with her hair loose down her back. She was wearing a cropped grey military jacket from Topshop and
jeans and high boots. She looked stylish, sophisticated, and I could see boys checking her out as we looked for Bruno. I was also wearing my jeans and had borrowed Mum’s peacock-blue velvet
coat and pale-blue scarf because she said it complemented my colouring. I was looking forward to spending some time with Bruno, partly for his company and partly because he made me feel so good
about myself – like I was the only girl on the planet in his eyes.

‘There he is,’ I said, as I spotted Bruno waiting by a newspaper stall. He was wearing his brown winter coat and a huge red scarf wrapped a few times around his neck. He turned and
saw me and I felt my stomach flip. He was looking more handsome than I had remembered and stood out in the crowd with his Italian good looks.

He gave me a huge bear hug when we got to him and kissed Leela’s hand when I introduced them. She blushed and looked very coy – which is most unlike Leela because she is usually
confident and cheeky around boys. While we walked along, we chatted about what we had been up to and I could see that he and Leela had instantly clicked and I couldn’t help wishing that I had
Bruno to myself.
But you have a boyfriend,
I told myself.
You have Joe.

We had decided to go to the British Museum and look at an exhibition of paintings from Jodphur in Rajasthan. I had read about the exhibition in Dad’s Sunday paper and I remembered that
Bruno liked looking at art.

‘Have you ever been to India?’ he asked Leela when we reached the museum and headed inside.

‘I was there last summer,’ she replied as I indicated to go on to the centre to get our tickets. ‘My grandmother is still over there in Jaipur.’