Exposed to You (18 page)

His fingers circled
again, and I arched my back, biting my lip from begging him to continue. He was
hinting that he wanted to
own
me—every part of me—and it seemed
impossible, but at that moment, kind of hot.

He stopped touching me
and cocked his head to the side.  “Say that you’ll be mine. In everything, Amy.
My girlfriend, my lover.”

“I already am,” I
whispered.

His face softened and
he shook his head almost sadly. “It’s not enough. I don’t just want you for a
night.”

I knew he was
referring to the pictures, which had most likely been one night stands. It was
his way of saying that I was more important to him than that. I didn’t know if
he could ever love me, and I didn’t have to love him, but I wanted him, too.

“I want you to want to
please me,” he said with a frown, like he couldn’t entirely explain his need.

“I do. I want that,” I
said breathlessly. “Please.”

That seemed to be
enough invitation. He pushed inside me, and I moaned, my instinct to wrap my arms
around him thwarted by his hands on my wrists.

“I want to hold you.”

He ignored me and
continued his rhythm, growing steadily more aggressive.

“Please.”

With a frustrated
groan, he let go of my wrists and moved his hands to my head, kissing me, the
weight of his body pressing me down. I wrapped my arms and legs around him,
pulling him deeper inside me and closed my eyes, submitting to the feeling. His
head moved above mine and he thrust faster, rubbing against me, until I was
unable to hold on any longer. I clenched around him repeatedly, the feeling
unlike anything I’d ever felt before, and I heard him groan my name before
rolling over and pulling me on top of him.

I was sensitive now,
and he held my hips and moved me gently. I could tell from the way he was
biting his lip that he was trying to restrain himself.

“You’re so tight,” he
said in a low voice. “How are you so tight?”

He pulled me forward
hard, and I felt the warmth inside me as he came.

Carefully, he helped
me off him and wiped between my legs in a surprisingly sensitive gesture. We
lay together in the bed, his body wrapped around mine, his breath against my
neck.

“Did you mean it?” he
whispered.

I didn’t have to ask
what he meant. I knew what he wanted; the photos had told me more than he ever
could have. It was hard to reconcile them with the person who was holding me
now, who could be so caring and protective.

My eyes were heavy and
I pulled the sheets over my shoulders and snuggled in closer to him. “I think
so,” I said sleepily.

“I used to be able to
keep it separate, but I can’t with you.”

I opened my eyes, glad
he was behind me. “Why not?”

“Because you’re
different. You have a quality that has never been in a woman who has wanted
me.”

I turned to face him
and I was surprised to see how vulnerable he looked. “I’m sure many women have
wanted you.”

He reached out and
touched my chin. “But you’re… pure. And when you give yourself to me, you
understand what it really means. It wouldn’t be to anyone.”

“No,” I agreed softly.

Suddenly he looked
tortured. “And I know what I want, what I’ve always wanted with you, and I’m
afraid that in the end, you’ll run.”

I swallowed, unsure
whether I should comfort him or be wary at his confession. I could only assume
he meant that he wanted what was in the pictures. With me.

“I’m fucked up, Amy,”
he said and rolled over to look at the ceiling. “There are things I’ve done
that I’m not proud of. Sometimes my need for control blinds me, and it’s all I
think about. With you, it’s not just in the bedroom, but I think you’ve figured
that out.”

I reached out and
touched his chest, running my fingers through the hair. “What you said earlier
about the type of woman you were looking for... What did you mean?”

“It’s hard to explain.
I had an image, yes, and you fit that image. In my mind she is like the women
I’ve met, the ones that are more than ready to do exactly what I want—but it’s
empty. Meaningless. I realized that it wouldn’t be meaningless between us.” He
rolled over to face me again. “It would be sacred, a bond of trust.”

“How can you know?”

His eyes were shining,
almost like they were wet. “Because I’ve never felt this way before.” He took a
deep breath before speaking again. “And despite what I wanted before we began
tonight, I ended up thinking about you.”

I pulled my knees up
into a fetal position as he rubbed his face with his hands.

“To prove what I feel
is real, I have to confess what I planned, and that might make you hate me.”

That didn’t sound
good. I waited, my heart in my throat.

“I was hoping you would
say you didn’t want to hear,” he smiled almost sadly.

I smiled weakly in
response.

He sighed. “When I
found you with those photos, I was angry, but I also felt... fear. I thought
that you were going to run. So I planned to prove to you that you want what I
want, because I know you do.” He paused. “But when it came down to it, I
discovered what I really wanted was to give
you
something. You see, your
pleasure was more important than mine, and I have never felt that way before.
I’m a selfish man, Amy.”

“Do you mean... Prove
it like when you spanked me?”

He blinked a few times
but didn’t respond.

“Worse than that,” I
whispered in understanding.

“I also wanted to
punish you for finding the pictures.” He waited a beat before continuing. “I
was going to take you to the edge, Amy.”

It was whispered like
a confession, but I didn’t know—couldn’t know—what it meant. He continued to
look at me as if I completely understood and he was waiting for me to bolt.

Instead, I closed my
eyes. “I’m tired. Can we sleep here tonight?”

There was an audible
exhale. “Sure, pretty girl.”

I heard the rustle of the covers and then he was putting
the heavy duvet around us, and I slipped into an exhausted sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, Dallon was no longer beside
me. A White robe and matching slippers were on the bed in his place—brand new
items that were my size. I wrapped the robe around me and padded out of the
studio and into the hall, where I heard Dallon in the kitchen before I looked
over the rail and saw him. He wasn’t wearing anything except pajama bottoms,
not even socks, and his hair was sticking up at the back. He flicked a switch
on the blender and it roared to life, the liquid turning green.

“Don’t you have to work?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen
and sat at the breakfast bar.

He turned around to face me and grinned. “I took the day
off. I’ve been working like crazy but the deal finally went through this
morning, and I want to spend some time with you. Yesterday was your last day,
correct?”

I nodded, unsure how he could have known that. “And so
far no one has called about my applications,” I sighed.

“Always in such a rush, Miss Clair. It will happen.”

I watched as he removed the jug from the blender and
poured two glasses of the green liquid, passed one over to me on the bar.

“What is it?” I asked and made a face.

“A smoothie. It has kale in it.”

“You really are a health freak,” I muttered and took a
sip. Surprisingly, it wasn’t bad.

He shrugged. “Your body is your permanent home. You
can’t change it. Why not take care of it?”

“True. I really should exercise more.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t exercise?”

I shrank back a little at his look. “Sometimes. Not
really. I used to more in Uni because there was a gym there. Now I don’t really
do anything except walk.”

“Hmm,” Dallon made a thoughtful noise, drumming his
fingers on the countertop.

“What?” I asked nervously.

“You don’t eat your vegetables and you don’t exercise.
We’re going to have to work on that.”

“We?”

“Yeah. We.”

“And how are
we
going to do that?”

His eyes twinkled like he had something else in mind,
but he said, “You can join my gym. I’ll get you a membership.”

“I’ll get my own membership.”

“No, you won’t. It was my idea.”

He was doing it again: being controlling Dallon. At
least he was trying to help me live a healthier lifestyle. I supposed I could
live with that.

I picked a bunch of grapes from the bowl on the counter
and ate them slowly while Dallon pulled out a carton of eggs. He seemed very at
home in his kitchen, like he genuinely enjoyed cooking—something I couldn’t
imagine. I often missed meals or ate whatever was around and had never learned
how to cook.

We ate scrambled eggs at the table, looking pretty
domestic in our respective robe and pajama bottoms. It was strange, but I felt
like I’d known Dallon for longer than I had, and now we were a couple. Living
together. I shook my head in wonder. So much had happened in the last month. It
seemed completely crazy, but felt entirely natural.

“How about we go to the gym this morning?” Dallon asked.
“We’ll get your membership all sorted out.”

I grumbled a noncommittal response while I pushed around
my eggs.

He chuckled. “You go to the gym with me this morning,
and the rest of the day we’ll do whatever you want.”

Dallon’s gym wasn’t just any gym. The lobby was all
gleaming wood and granite and felt more like a spa. Dallon signed me up for a
membership while I stood awkwardly beside him. A friendly woman gave me a key
for my locker and offered me a tour of the facilities, but I turned it down,
preferring to get my workout over with.

When I found my locker, which was thankfully in a
private corner, there was a pair of sandals and a robe in it. Like the lobby,
all the counters were made of marble, and around almost every corner was a
couch or lounger, bowls of fresh fruit on the table beside them. Pink razors
were lined up on a towel by the sink, as well as various hair styling products
and body lotions.

I quickly changed and first entered the pool area by
mistake before finding the gym. I spotted a group of stationary bikes and made
my way toward them. I’d always felt comfortable on the bikes, whereas the other
machines intimidated me. This time, however, luck was not on my side; I’d never
used this type of bike before, and I couldn’t figure out how to adjust the
seat. My face flushed red as I struggled with the knob. Could I make it any
more obvious that I never went to the gym?

“Need help with that?”

I looked up to see a trainer smiling at me. He had
longish dirty blonde hair and blue eyes and he was super built. Wow. “Um, yeah.
I was trying to lower the seat.”

He laughed. “I saw that. Are you new here?”

“Pretty obvious, isn’t it?”

He grinned. “I can take you on the tour if you’d like.
It’s complimentary for everyone that joins. We also have a complimentary
training session that I can sign you up for.”

“Um, sure. About the session, anyway.”

“Great.” He pulled a tablet out of his pocket. “What
time works better, during the day or night?”

I had a lot of free time these days, so I said, “How
about during the day. Doesn’t matter when.”

“How about Friday at 4?”

I agreed and he took down my name and phone number. Then
he put out his hand and introduced himself as Todd, that grin taking up half
his face. My hand disappeared in his.

“Now, let’s get this bike working for you. Straddle it
and I’ll adjust the seat to your height.”

“I’ll take care of it,” a voice said behind me.

I turned around and saw Dallon standing there with his
arms crossed. He was glistening and wearing a tight shirt that accentuated his
arms. Somehow he managed to make Todd look plain in comparison.

Before Todd or I could say anything, he leaned forward
and twisted the knob to lower the seat.

“Hey man, I’m Todd.” Todd put out his hand.

Dallon only glanced at it, his hand on the bike seat.
“Bye, Todd.”

Todd raised an eyebrow before turning to me again. “I’ll
see you on Friday, Amy,” he said and walked away.

 “Friday?” Dallon frowned.

“Yeah, I have a training session with him,” I said,
climbing onto the seat. “Comes free with the membership. You didn’t have to be
rude to him.”

“I can help you train.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not even that interested; it just
felt rude to turn it down.”

Dallon’s eyes narrowed as he got on the bike next to me.
He cycled in silence for a moment and then leaned over to whisper in my ear,
“You look hot in tight clothes.”