Exquisite Danger (7 page)

I went to reach for him, to try and soothe him, but before my hand touched his face he tilted away and spoke in a clipped tone, “Don’t.”

Stung, I jerked my hand back and wrapped my arms around myself, trying to ease the ache in my chest.

When we pulled up to the house, Smoke stormed out of the truck and met my father at the door. They talked for a few seconds before Smoke went into the house, leaving me alone in the truck. Miffed that my man had just stomped off without a word, I hopped out and made my way to my dad. He gave me a worried look, then pulled me into an unexpected hug. The scent of coffee and his cologne mixed with Mimi’s perfume surrounded me, and I took a deep breath of the smell of home. All craziness aside, I knew my dad loved me, and I loved him just as much. “You okay, Swan?”

I hugged him back, relishing the rare occasion when my dad allowed me to show him physical affection. “Yeah, it was no big deal.”

In fact, compared to being kidnapped by a biker gang, confronting some bigots was no big deal.

His arms tightened around me before he stepped back and ran a hand through his silver–flecked, dark hair. I gave him a moment and watched him try to control his anger, but he was having less success with it than Smoke. When he spoke, his voice came out strained. He constantly flexed his hands, but he managed to choke his temper back enough to speak to me. “Looks like I’m going to have to block access to our land on that road.”

“Shit.” I sighed, knowing that it would become harder for Lyric to come visit my family. “That bad?”

“They fucked with my daughter.
My
daughter.” His nostrils flared. “I should burn that fucking place down. Unfortunately, Lyric’s stubborn ass is still there along with a few other good folk. You know how obstinate that little girl is. She wants to protect her friends and family even though she hasn’t realized yet that the fuckers she’s squaring off against would crush her if she really went to war against them. As soon as that girl’s gone I’m gonna deal with those hypocritical assholes. I promise you that.”

Mimi came out onto the porch and laid a soothing hand on my dad’s shoulder before giving me a gentle smile. “I’m glad you’re okay, sweetie.”

I glanced over at my dad, apprehension growing inside of me as I took in the signs of his growing rage breaking through his self-control. “Where’s Smoke?”

“Come with me,” Mimi murmured before placing her arm around my waist. “Give your dad a few minutes to calm down.”

My dad was already storming off in the direction of his shooting range to work off his anger, and I let out a little sigh of relief.

“Okay.”

Weariness dragged at me as soon as I was downstairs. The soothing purples and different shades of grey that decorated the room helped to slow my racing heart. Mimi steered me over to the couch, and I sat down on the soft suede. “What’s up?”

To my surprise, Mimi blushed and dropped her eyes. “Well, I thought now that you’re a grown woman in a real relationship I might share some wisdom with you about how to handle your boyfriend.”

Hearing her call Smoke my boyfriend didn’t sit right with me. He was so much more than that. He was my everything. I yearned to be in his arms. “Where is Smoke?”

“Your Dad sent him down to the gym to work off his stress.” She bit her lip, then sat up straighter and met my gaze. “Smoke is a lot like your father in some ways, and far different in others, but he obviously worships you. Every time he looks at you it’s like he’s seeing you for the first time. He’s completely entranced by you. So for a man who loves you, seeing you in danger and not being allowed to do anything about it, is probably eating at him right now. Miguel’s the kind of man who eliminates anything he considers a threat to himself or those he loves, like a warrior of old. To have taken the path of diplomacy and peace goes against who he is on some basic level, and I’d bet he feels like he let you down.”

There was a ring of truth to her words and I frowned. “How do you know this?”

“The wisdom of experience, my love. I could, of course, be totally wrong, but I hope that if I’m right, our conversation will help you be ready for the confrontation ahead of you.” She smiled. “If you can manage to seduce him beforehand, it’ll certainly sweeten his attitude. Even just a blowjob would mellow him out.”

“Ack, Mimi!” I practically shouted as my cheeks heated. Mimi was as outspoken about sex as Sarah, in her own way. She viewed it as a natural part of life and doesn’t understand why I freak out when she tries to give me tips. Memories of Sarah and Mimi talking about their sexual experiences with my Italian aunts and female cousins at Mimi’s yearly family reunion still give me nightmares. I never, ever want to think of my Aunt Simone with her hairy upper lip having a threesome with two Greek guys again.

“Don’t ‘Mimi’ me. Smoke will need to connect with you, to reassure himself that you’re okay. Making love will help with that. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sex is an essential part of a healthy relationship. And it soothes the savage beast.”

I stood, my mouth twisted as if I’d tasted something sour as my mind unwillingly strayed to the thought of Mimi calming my dad down in such a manner.
Ewww.
Someone pass me the brain bleach. “Thanks for the advice, but I have to be going now.”

Mimi smiled and wished me a good night. After making a pit stop in my room to switch out my plain black cotton underwear for something a little fancier, I made my way to the gym, a level below me, with seduction in mind. Lights turned on as I approached the motion sensors. I passed a set of empty storage rooms until I reached the double doors of the gym. As soon as I entered, the rough sounds of Smoke working out filled the air. I followed the sounds to where he was bench-pressing some obscene amount of weight. Hard metal music pounded from the speakers above, and I paused a moment inside the doorway to watch Smoke lift. The perfect definition of his arms, shoulders, and chest as they flexed with each movement sent a wave of heat to my pussy.

The way he gritted his teeth, the strain in his expression reminded me of how he looked when he came, and my new panties were already soaking wet. I allowed myself to eye fuck him a little bit more before walking over to the stereo system to switch the music from the angry metal to some of Mimi’s yoga stuff. While the front part of the gym was devoted to weights and cardio machines, the back half was Mimi’s yoga studio. It was closed off behind Japanese rice paper screens and I loved it. The tranquil space a totally different world than this spartan, masculine environment.

The weights rattled as Smoke racked them and sat up. Sweat trickled down the curve of his chest, and when his gaze met mine, the anger brewing inside of him was obvious. He grabbed a towel and wiped his face off. “What’s up, babe?”

I walked slowly over to him, putting a swing in my hips that drew his gaze. “I have a surprise for you.”

He sighed, then shook his head and held up his hand as if warding me off. “Gimme some more time down here. I’m not good to be around right now. Go keep the bed warm for me, and I’ll be there in a bit.”

I hesitated, clearly having been dismissed. I fought my natural inclination to obey his wishes, and managed to gather my courage. “No.”

Looking at me clearly for the first time since the incident with the zealots, he frowned. “No?”

“No.” I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “I know you’re upset. I want to make you feel better.”

He frowned at me. “And what do you think I’m upset about?”

“Well…” I struggled to recall what Mimi said. “I appreciate you not killing anyone—immensely—but I know it hurt your pride to walk away.”

“My pride? You think that’s what I’m pissed about?” He looked down and flexed his hands. “Swan, I’m trying really hard not to flip out right now, so I would really fuckin’ appreciate it if you got the fuck out of here and left me the fuck alone. I can’t take being around you right now. Got me?”

I felt as if someone had punched me in the chest, and I sucked in a quick breath. “Okay.”

He said something more, but I’d already started to leave. Once the door closed behind me, I paused then leaned against the wall, hoping that maybe he’d come after me. All I wanted to do was make him happy, but he didn’t want me. I heard the clank of the weights through the doors and pressed my hand to my stomach, hating the curl of nausea there. Smoke had rejected me and it hurt. Bad.

I slowly made my way back to my room, and once there, stripped off my clothes, leaving on my pretty panties that wouldn’t be getting any action tonight. My lower lip trembled a time or two as the sting from Smoke’s rebuff turned over in my heart, and I tried to keep any tears from falling. Objectively, maturely, I knew that Smoke hadn’t broken up with me or anything, but I really didn’t like the fact that I could turn to him for comfort but he wouldn’t do the same with me. Didn’t he want my love? Didn’t he want to feel better? Did I even make him better?

I gave myself a mental slap as I realized I was falling back into an old habit I was trying to break: being dependent on a man. In my case, as a kid, I was dependent on my father’s mood to set the tone of my own. Smoke didn’t want me with him and that, on top of the earlier bullshit with Stewart, put me in an emotional place that I was ill-equipped to deal with. Maybe I could find refuge from my problems in sleep instead of in Smoke’s body as I’d originally planned.

After turning out the lights, leaving only the nightlight on, I laid back in my bed and let my tears finally fall, soaking my pillow and feeling worthless and angry with myself for feeling that way.

Sometime during the night, my bed shifted as Smoke lifted the blankets and slipped in beside me. His skin was still slightly damp, and the smell of his soap surrounded me in a musky cloud of goodness. I snuggled back against him while he pulled me tightly into his arms and began to gently stroke my belly. Not a sensual caress but more…comforting.

“Babe,” Smoke whispered.

“Mmm?” was my sleepy reply. My brain wasn’t functioning yet, and I struggled to remain awake.

“I wasn’t sending you away because I didn’t want you there. I was sending you away because I don’t like you seeing my temper. I know I have a bad one, and I hate how it scares you. It wasn’t my pride that was hurt. It was the thought of anyone ever harming you that makes me crazy with worry. I love you so much, baby girl.”

I tried to formulate a reply, but all I could do was pat his arm and mumble.

“I was a huge dick and I know I hurt your feelings, but I had to get you out of there. The anger…you have no idea what it feels like to be full of that much rage.”

Now wide awake, I shoved him away from me hard enough that he rolled off the bed with a grunt.

Didn’t know what anger felt like, my ass! I constantly battled my temper, tried to keep my shit under control. Maybe he needed to see a little bit of that anger. My sister has always said that at least once, early on in a relationship, a man needed to see his woman flip her shit. Some guys can handle it, some can’t. I knew Smoke could handle me, but he needed to realize that he wasn’t the only one in this relationship who had a volatile temper.

“You know what, asshole, you couldn’t be more wrong. You think you’re the only person in the world with anger management issues? Are you for goddamn real? Pull your head out of your ass, Smoke, and take a look around, because I guarantee you aren’t the only person in this room who can lose their shit. And trust me, when I lose my temper it isn’t pretty...or cute. I am capable of killing people, never doubt that.”

Smoke pushed himself up off the ground, his stance clearly cautious now. “Easy. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was trying to protect you. I needed a time-out to cool down.”

“Then tell me that!” I was so pissed I went to throw something at him and grabbed one of my pillows and chucked it at him, hard. “Don’t fucking send me away like some little girl. I’m not a child, Smoke. I’m a woman, and I won’t put up with your disrespect.”

That made him frown, and he looked at me with confusion. “I disrespected you?”

“Of course you did.” My throat grew thick and I tried to hold onto my fury. “You talk all this shit about killing any man who disrespects me, and yet you continue to do it again and again. You think there is only one way to do things, your way. You totally disregard the fact that even though I have blonde hair and big breasts—and yes, I’m a woman—I’m actually smarter and more skilled than most special forces guys. That’s a fact.”

Rubbing his face, Smoke then nodded. “I know how strong you are, that doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep you safe, to protect you from anything that might hurt you, even me.”

“I can handle you!” I practically shouted, then lowered my voice when he winced at my shrill tone. “I can take your darkness, I can take the danger, what I can’t take is when you shut me out in some misguided macho attempt to keep me safe in some glass tower like a useless princess.”

A smile tried to curve his lips but I glared at him. “I get what you’re saying.”

My adrenaline was still flowing so I crossed my arms over my chest, unable to argue with his statement but still feeling pissy. “Good.”

He took a quick step forward and unfolded my arms then grabbed me by my waist, hauling me closer to him. “I’m sorry, baby. Let me apologize.”

“I don’t want your…”

My words died off as Smoke dropped to his knees then sealed his mouth over the crotch of my racy black panties. With perfect accuracy, his teeth grazed my clit, and a hard pulse of arousal made my breath catch in my throat. I couldn’t stop myself from plunging my hands into his curls and tugging him closer.

He leaned back for a second and looked up at me with a wicked smirk. “Love those panties. So sexy.”

My eyes closed when he swiftly leaned back between my legs and hooked the edge of my panties, pulling them over to expose my sex. He made a deep, sensual noise in the back of his throat and slowly grazed his knuckles over my labia before sliding his thumb over my clit. I sucked in a harsh breath and widened my stance, giving him better access to my body. Yeah, I was still pissed at him, but I justified letting him do this by telling myself I deserved an orgasm for putting up with his shit.