Extra Time (7 page)

Oh God, she loved this man. She loved him so much. They had so many lost years to catch up on, and Amber wanted to make sure that, this time, nothing was wasted. No opportunities were overlooked or lost. She couldn’t afford for that to happen. She wanted to be with this man forever. And she wanted everything he could give her. Everything.

‘I love you so much, Jim,’ she whispered, her face buried in his hair as their bodies shuddered to a halt, his arms falling around her. He was still inside her, and Amber wanted him to stay there, just for a little while. Just for a little bit longer. ‘I love you so much.’

‘Hey, I love you, too, baby,’ he said, gently stroking the small of her back in slow, rhythmic movements. ‘You drive me fucking crazy, I can’t begin to tell you…’

She pulled away slightly, closing her eyes as his mouth touched hers, kissing her in the most beautiful way – slowly and carefully, his mouth slightly open, his tongue touching hers. But she knew that if she didn’t make a move soon, didn’t leave this little bubble of theirs behind, she was never going to be able to concentrate on work. And that’s where she needed her head to be now.

‘I’d better go grab a shower.’ She smiled at him, running her fingers lightly over his cheek as she felt him finally leave her body, and the sudden wave of emptiness that one small action caused her to feel was quite shocking.

‘We’re gonna be okay, Amber. Me and you. We’re gonna be okay.’

She just smiled at him again as she stood up, running her fingers through her hair, and Jim watched as she walked into the bathroom, naked and beautiful, and his. She was all his. Finally. And he loved her so much it hurt like hell when she was out of his sight, when she wasn’t near. It had always been that way. All those years apart, out of her life; he’d always felt that way. And nothing he’d done to try and forget her had worked. Nothing.

Looking down at the pile of papers by his side, he picked them up and turned them back over, scanning the pages again, his stomach turning, making him feel slightly sick at the realisation of just how close Amber had come to seeing them.

He stood up and walked over to his briefcase that was lying next to the dressing table, lifting it up and flicking the catches to open it, throwing the papers inside and slamming the case shut, locking it quickly. He was married to the woman of his dreams; the only woman he’d ever really loved – the only woman he’d allowed himself to love – and that meant there should be no secrets, not anymore. In fact, he’d promised her there’d be no more secrets. He’d promised her that, even though she’d asked him never to promise her anything ever again, after what he’d done to her all those years ago. So maybe it would have been better if he’d let her see the papers. It would have brought forward a situation he was dreading having to face; but it had to happen. And soon. He couldn’t avoid it. He had to tell her, she had to know. He had no choice now anyway. Events and circumstances had seen to that. Circumstances he’d known had been coming, but he’d chosen to bury his head in the sand and delay the inevitable.

But here, in Tenerife, it just wasn’t the time or the place to tell Amber everything. He’d wait until they were back home. He’d waited this long, another few days wasn’t going to make any difference. It wasn’t going to change the situation.

It was almost time to get everything out in the open once and for all; to prove to her that he had nothing left to hide. But he
had
been hiding something. And how she reacted to that was something Jim didn’t even want to think about.

‘Have I been doing okay?’ Amber asked, her heart beating ten to the dozen as she called Debbie back home in Newcastle after the game, which Newcastle Red Star had won 4-0, despite the humid evening and still relatively high temperatures. But even though they were on foreign soil, Tenerife was a holiday destination, and they were playing in the south of the island, which was a Mecca for British tourists. So the crowd had largely been made up of British supporters – holiday-makers and ex-pats, mainly – which had helped with the atmosphere. At times it had almost felt like a home game. ‘I’ve been so nervous, Debbie. I swear I was almost sick just before I went live to the studio for the first time last week, it’s ridiculous! I mean, like Ronnie said, it’s not as though I haven’t done this before. I’ve been working in TV for years now…’

‘Amber, chick, slow down, will you? Take a deep breath and slow down. You’ve been more than okay, do you hear me? I’ve watched all the games, and you’ve been doing great. Me and the girls, we’re all over at Tanya’s place tonight because she’s just had a brand new Smart TV fitted on the living room wall, you should see the size of it… anyway, everybody said the same – you’re a natural!’

Amber breathed out a long, loud sigh of relief, closing her eyes as she leaned back against the wall. ‘Really? You’re not just saying that because you’re my friend?’

‘No. I’m not just saying it. You’re so good at what you do, hon. You put the rest of us to shame, I mean, you’re the only one of us with a proper job, for starters.’

Amber couldn’t help but smile. ‘
You’v
e got a “proper” job, as you put it, Debbie.’

‘What? Writing a small column for a celebrity gossip magazine?’

‘Not just
any
celebrity gossip magazine though, Debs.
The
most
popular
celebrity gossip magazine there is. And you’ve got your modelling. You work just as hard as me, in different ways, that’s all.’

Debbie laughed, and Amber wished she could just pop over to her place right now, open a bottle of something white and sparkling and settle down for a good, long chat. Because Amber really needed to talk to her about something. Something that had been preying on her mind for a few weeks now, and she couldn’t shake it, couldn’t stop thinking about it. And it wasn’t something she wanted to bring up with Jim. Not yet, anyway.

‘You know what I mean,’ Debbie said. ‘And, at the risk of sounding shallow – but this is a very valid point, I think – you looked fabulous! Whoever did your hair and make-up is a true artist. Those eyes… And did you pick your own outfit?’

‘Debbie, I work for a sports channel, not E! Entertainment. Of course I picked my own outfit. You don’t think Ronnie and the guys have stylists, do you?’

‘I don’t know, do I? They should do. The state of them sometimes.’

Now it was Amber’s turn to laugh. She knew that calling Debbie straight after the game would be a good idea. She always had a knack of cheering her up, or taking her mind off things, and now was no exception.

‘So, those black, leather-look skinny jeans are yours, then?’

‘Yes,’ Amber laughed, unable to keep the surprised tone out of her voice. ‘What are you trying to say, missy?’

‘My influence must be rubbing off on you.’

Amber just knew she would have had the biggest smirk on her face when she’d said that.

‘What you up to now?’ Debbie asked. ‘Are you finished for the night?’

‘Yeah, thankfully. I’m shattered! I think Jim and I are off out for dinner somewhere. Alone, hopefully.’

‘How are things with you and Ryan? Have you spoken to him much since you’ve been over there?’

‘Bar the interviews I’ve done with him whilst we’ve been here, no. I’ve hardly said two words to him to be honest. It’s not that I’ve been avoiding him or anything, the opportunity just hasn’t been there, that’s all.’ There was just the tiniest hint of a little white lie, but there was no need for Debbie to know that.

‘And there’s no awkwardness?’

‘No. Why should there be? It’s been months since me and him… since it all happened, Debbie. It’s in the past now. We’ve both moved forward.’

‘Yeah. Yeah, you have.’

Amber was slightly distracted by the sound of voices – Ryan’s being one of them – getting closer. ‘I’m gonna have to go now, Debs.’

‘Okay, chick. I’ll see you in a couple of days.’

‘Yeah. And I can’t wait. I’m dying for a girly catch-up.’

‘Me too, hon. See you soon!’

Amber quickly ended the call but wasn’t fast enough to make her escape before Ryan and Gary pushed their way through the double doors she’d been standing beside. She couldn’t really run away now, could she?

‘Hey, Amber.’ Gary smiled at her, and she returned it.

‘I’ve just been talking to your wife.’

‘She okay?’ Gary asked. ‘Behaving herself, I hope.’

‘She’s at Tanya’s, with the rest of the girls. They’ve been watching the match.’

‘Yeah, sure,’ Gary laughed. ‘Since when were any of that lot interested in what we do? They’re just interested in the money we make.’

‘You need to give them a bit more credit, Gary.’ Amber tucked her phone into the back pocket of her jeans. ‘They’re not quite as superficial as you all seem to think they are.’

Gary just let out a derisive snort, said something to Ryan that Amber didn’t catch, and walked away, throwing Amber a wink over his shoulder. Amber narrowed her eyes and glared at him, slowly shaking her head.

‘You avoiding me?’ Ryan asked. An afternoon spent sampling the delights of the gorgeous Ellen still hadn’t managed to stop him from hoping he’d bump into Amber after the match. Okay, so he’d spoken to her in a professional capacity over the past few days, in a couple of interviews for TV, but he’d wanted to catch her alone. And right now, as he looked at her, all crazy red hair and piercing pale blue eyes, every memory all those hours with Ellen had managed to erase came flooding back tenfold.

Amber swung round, her eyes instantly meeting his. ‘No. No, of course I’m not avoiding you.’

‘It feels like you are.’

‘What do you want me to do, Ryan? Actively seek you out for regular get-togethers?’

He stuck his hands in his pockets, turning away from her for a second. ‘It just feels … ’ He looked at her again. ‘I don’t know… It just feels as though, what we had… it feels like it never happened sometimes, that’s all.’

‘Yeah, well, there’s been a lot of water under the bridge since then,’ Amber said quietly. It was hard to forget what she’d once felt for this man, and maybe she didn’t really want to. ‘So much has happened.’

‘Tell me about it,’ Ryan sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. He really didn’t want to still be feeling this way, but he couldn’t help it, couldn’t push those feelings down, no matter how hard he tried.

‘Are you… is everything okay, Ryan?’ Despite everything, she’d never stopped caring about him. She couldn’t do that, couldn’t just switch those feelings off, even after all these months.

‘Everything’s fine,’ he replied, his eyes meeting hers again. ‘It would just be nice to talk to you sometimes, without it having to be under the guise of a TV interview.’

‘That’s my job, Ryan.’

He just looked at her, and she stared back at him. He was so handsome, so young. So dangerous. She only hoped he’d learned enough lessons to allow him not to let history repeat itself. Again.

‘I’m married now, Ryan. You do understand that, don’t you?’

‘Don’t treat me like a kid, Amber. Yeah, I know you’re married. It’s bloody hard to ignore that fact when all you do is wrap yourself around the boss twenty-four-seven…’ Now he was thinking aloud. Not the best idea.

‘Do you know how childish you sound? If you can’t act like a grown-up…’ She turned to walk away but he grabbed her wrist, swinging her back round.

‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry, okay?’

‘Yeah. You should be.’ She pulled her arm free of his grip, rubbing her wrist. ‘Look, I know things are still a bit weird…’

‘I just want us to be friends, Amber. That’s all. I want us to be able to talk to each other and forget the past; put it behind us.’

She looked into his eyes. Kind eyes. Yeah, he really had changed over these past few months. Or that was the impression he was giving off, anyway. ‘And you think we can do that, do you?’ she said quietly, suddenly realising that this was the first time she’d really spoken to him – properly spoken to him – in weeks. He was right. All that time and the only talking she’d ever done with him had been because she’d had to – to interview him. Professional purposes only. Had that been deliberate on her part? All those months and this was the first real conversation she’d had with him. That thought flooded her with guilt, because he really hadn’t deserved that.

‘I think we can try,’ he replied, his eyes still fixed firmly on hers.

‘Ryan… I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I just…’ She sighed, leaning back against the wall, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘Maybe I just didn’t know how to handle it all. How to handle being around you. I mean, it’s still so complicated…’

‘It doesn’t have to be.’

‘Doesn’t it?’

He smiled, and Amber felt her stomach give a small but noticeable jolt. ‘I just want us to be friends. Nothing more, no ulterior motive. I promise.’

‘Yeah, well, you know how I feel about promises.’ She was aware of Jim’s voice somewhere nearby, and despite what Ryan had just told her, she still didn’t want Jim to think Ryan may be playing some kind of game. She wasn’t altogether sure how much Jim trusted Ryan. They’d never really talked about him – about what he and Amber had shared. And maybe that had been a mistake, too. Maybe they should have been more open, about everything. ‘Look, I’ve got to go, Ryan. I’ll see you later, okay?’

He nodded. ‘Yeah. Okay. Oh, and Amber?’

She turned round to look at him.

‘I’m happy for you. Really.’

If he said that out loud enough times then he might actually start to believe he meant it because, right now, he wasn’t altogether sure that he did. Of course he wanted her to be happy – after what he’d put her through it was the least she deserved. But it still hurt to think that, had it not been for his sheer stupidity, they could have been happy together. They’d come so close, so fucking close.

‘Why did you do it?’ Ryan whispered to himself as he watched her walk down the corridor, over to her husband. He watched as his boss smiled at her, kissing her quickly, sliding an arm around her waist as they talked, both of them totally unashamed of showing how much in love they were. ‘Why?’

But Ryan knew the answer to that. And as much as he would have liked to turn the clock back and rewrite history, he couldn’t. He just had to get on with his life, the way she was getting on with hers, and he would. He’d start doing just that.