Extra Time (9 page)

‘Are you still sure, honey?’ he whispered, his mouth resting on hers as he spoke. ‘Because I’m so close to coming, baby, and if you want I can just…’ She shook her head, silencing him with a kiss, and he smiled, gently stroking a stray strand of hair from her eyes. ‘I love you, Amber.’

‘I love you, too,’ she said quietly, slowly closing her eyes as he kissed her long and deep, pulling away only when she felt his body tense up, signalling his impending release, and she too prepared herself for one of her own as those familiar tingles started creeping across her body. ‘Jim…’ she moaned quietly as he buried his head in her shoulder, his body shaking and shuddering in her arms as she felt him explode, spilling out into her, and she luxuriated in the warmth that feeling created. It was as if he was filling up every inch of her, taking her over, and she didn’t want to open her eyes because she felt that if she did, then this would all just be some kind of dream. Over too soon.

‘Jesus, Amber…’ Jim groaned, his hands still on her hips as his own movements slowed down, his own journey coming to an end. But she had yet to reach that summit, and he knew that, reaching down to gently touch her as he slowly withdrew. ‘You feel so good…’

She gripped the countertop behind her tighter as his fingers stroked her so carefully, touching her right where she needed to be touched and with just the right amount of pressure. The feel of his hand was enough to start the beginning of the end, to send those tingles spreading through her at a rapid rate, taking her over until she could hold out no longer. His fingers speeded up their action, pressing against her, his lips covering her neck in quick, feather-light kisses as she came in a crashing climax of cries and moans, pushing down against his hand, the feel of him there heightening every last, tiny sensation. And then it was over, done. Time for reality to make itself known again. Just like that.

‘Two seconds.’ Jim smiled, finally pulling away from her. She watched as he left the kitchen, trying hard to catch her breath. She felt drained, but also invigorated, and slightly confused. What had they just done? Had she really just told him she wanted to start a family? Had she really said all that out loud? Just like that? When she knew, deep down inside, that it wasn’t going to be quite as simple as she made it out to be. But, yeah, they really had just gone through with it. They’d taken that first step. But the journey wasn’t going to be an easy one.

She bent down and retrieved her panties, pulling them on and repositioning her dress, shaking her hair out as she tried to compose herself. Spontaneous sex wasn’t exactly an unusual occurrence, considering they were still very much in the ‘honeymoon’ period of their marriage, but what had just happened there had sobered her up; to the point where she felt a little disorientated. What the hell was wrong with her today?

‘You okay?’

She swung round at the sound of his voice. ‘Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.’

‘You sure?’ he asked, frowning slightly as he walked over to her, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her against him. ‘Because you look as though you’ve still got something on your mind. Is there anything else you want to talk about?’

She smiled, running her hands up and down his strong arms, the soft material of his shirt smooth beneath her fingers. ‘I’m sorry, Jim, if this all feels a bit surreal, my sudden need to have a baby, but…’ She looked into his eyes. Her heart still skipped that proverbial beat when she did that, and she never wanted that feeling to go away, ever. She wanted to cling onto it for as long as she could. ‘I really have been thinking about it, seriously, for a while now.’

‘So why didn’t you talk to me? Did you think I wouldn’t listen? That it was something I wouldn’t want?’

‘Well, to be fair, Jim, the look on your face when I mentioned it just now wasn’t that of a man who was expecting those words to come out of my mouth.’

‘No, I suppose it wasn’t. But only because you never seemed to be the type of woman who…’

She shut him up with a kiss, standing on tiptoe, holding onto his upper arms to steady herself as her lips touched his, ever-so-lightly.

‘The type of woman who, what?’ she asked, a slight smirk appearing on her face. ‘Who never showed any maternal inclinations whatsoever? Then you really don’t know me at all, Jim. My mum was the best mum a girl could have asked for. She was funny and smart and beautiful…’

‘Just like her daughter.’

She stopped talking and looked at him, cocking her head.

‘I knew your mom, Amber. Remember? I knew what an amazing woman she was.’

She said nothing for a few seconds as she let memories of her late Spanish mother fill her head, her heart aching all over again with a loss that still hurt. Because there were times when she really needed her mum. And now was certainly one of those times.

‘What I’m trying to say is that I always wanted to be like her. She was so beautiful, so kind and funny and strong, she was so strong. Right to the end she kept on fighting, until there was nothing more anyone could do. She didn’t give up until she had to. She had this… this aura about her, you know? She would walk into a room and it would just light up. I loved her so much, Jim. So much. We were so close, never a day went by when I didn’t speak to her. And she was so supportive, always there for me no matter what. She was my rock. My best friend, and when she died… I miss her so much, all the time, that never goes away. Ever. And I… I always wanted to be the kind of mum to a child of my own that she was to me, and just because I didn’t go round shouting about the fact I would love a baby one day…’ She broke off, walking over to the window, folding her arms as she looked outside, the late-summer sunshine making their large, walled garden look gloriously pretty with its multitude of coloured flowers and fruit trees. ‘Deep down inside, I’m scared I’ll never get the chance.’

She closed her eyes as she felt his arms wrap around her from behind, pulling her back against him, and she rested her head against his shoulder, just letting him hold her. She wanted to tell him. She really wanted to tell him. But she couldn’t, not yet. Not just yet. Not until she was sure.

‘I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of, Amber,’ he said quietly. ‘Everything. And I will try my hardest to make sure you get it all, believe me.’

She turned round in his arms, opening her eyes and shaking her hair out again, changing the mood in an instant. There were some things she knew he may never be able to give her, it was just that now wasn’t the time to think about that.

‘Anyway, come on,’ she said, straightening the collar of his shirt. ‘You’re going to be late if you don’t get a move on.’

He frowned slightly. He wasn’t sure he wanted to leave this conversation still hanging, but she was right. He was supposed to be at the training ground in half an hour and it took nearly as long as that to drive there from their home at the coast.

‘So, what are you up to today?’ he asked, reluctantly letting her go, grabbing his jacket from the back of a chair.

‘Well, I’m not due in London until the end of the week, so I thought I’d go and see Debbie. Maybe do a little bit of shopping. She’s still training me in the ways of the WAG.’

Jim smiled, shoving his hands in his pockets. ‘Really?’ He arched an eyebrow and Amber laughed, suddenly relaxing. Yeah, everything was fine. She hadn’t ruined it all by laying this on him the way she had. He was fine. She just wished she’d had the nerve to tell him everything, because she knew she’d have to, at some point.

‘Yeah. Really.’

‘So,’ he went on, picking his phone up from the table and quickly checking for messages. ‘You nervous about making your live studio debut for Cloud Sports on Friday?’

‘Yeah, a little bit,’ she sighed. ‘But…’ She smiled at him, pulling her hair back into a loose ponytail, ‘… at least it means you can watch me on TV when I’m not here, and then maybe you won’t miss me quite so much.’

He quickly pulled her into his arms again, stealing another kiss. ‘Ah, yes, but, the excellent timing of it all means that because Red Star’s first game of the season is down in the capital, I don’t really have to miss you at all, do I? In fact, beautiful, I can be with you the second you come off air on Friday night. I’ll leave Colin in charge of the squad at the hotel, and I’ll come and spend some time with you, if that’s what you want.’

Why would she want anything else? ‘You’d better be there, handsome, or I’ll be extremely disappointed.’

‘And we can’t have that, now, can we?’

She shook her head as his mouth moved closer to hers. ‘No. We can’t.’

One more kiss then he’d have to go, even if he’d much rather stay where he was. How he was going to cope when she wasn’t there, when she was away, working, he didn’t know, but at least she was right in one respect – he could watch her, there on TV, knowing she was his. Knowing that beautiful woman was finally his, after all those years of waiting, wishing and hoping. All those years of getting everything so wrong. But wasn’t he still getting it wrong now? Knowing what he knew – what she had yet to find out.

‘If you want to come down to the training ground…’ Jim began, pushing those thoughts firmly to the back of his mind.

‘I think I’ll stick to shopping with Debbie, if you don’t mind.’

As much as he would have loved to have seen her later, he’d all but known she would have declined that offer. Anywhere Ryan Fisher was, Amber tried to avoid. Jim just hoped it was for all the right reasons. He trusted Amber, but as far as his feelings towards his star striker went, that was a different matter. He rested his forehead against hers, smiling slightly. ‘So, I guess I’ll see you tonight.’

‘Yeah. You will. And play your cards right, mister, and you can see as much of me as you want.’

‘Jesus, Ryan, come on,’ Gary groaned as Ryan miskicked another shot at goal, the ball flying high over the crossbar. ‘What the hell is wrong with you this morning? The boss is gonna go ape shit if he sees the way you’re playing today.’

Ryan dropped to his haunches, his head in his hands. ‘Nothing’s wrong with me, Gary. I’m just a bit off form, that’s all.’

‘Well, your timing’s crap, mate. You know, it being just a couple of days away from the beginning of a brand new season. Our first game isn’t exactly an easy one…’

Ryan stood up, looking at Gary, his hands on his hips. ‘We’re fucking league champions, Gary. Right now, at this moment in time,
we
are the fucking best, so we should be frightened of no one. We should be able to go out there on Saturday and show them that
they
should be intimidated by
us
, not the other way around. We should be able to win that match easy.’

‘Not if you play the way you’ve been playing this morning we won’t. You letting yourself get a bit too distracted by the new lady in your life?’ Gary winked.

‘Fuck off,’ Ryan sighed, turning away and walking over to the touchline, his head down.

‘Going somewhere, Fisher?’

Ryan looked up. Jim Allen stood right there in front of him dressed – unusually for him – for the training ground rather than the office, sporting tracksuit bottoms, football boots, and a white t-shirt that clung to a physique most forty-nine-year-old men would kill for. Lately he’d been involving himself more and more in the physical aspects of training, and Ryan wondered if this need to keep in shape had anything to do with the fact he was now married to a younger woman – a very beautiful younger woman. A woman Ryan didn’t really want to think about for too long, because it still hurt. No matter how much he pretended it didn’t.

‘No. Just taking a break, boss.’

Jim continued to stare at him, raising an eyebrow, but he said nothing. He just let him go, and Ryan didn’t stop to argue. He needed five minutes away from it all, just to get his head together.

Things with Ellen had started moving way faster than he’d wanted them to, even though he’d tried his hardest not to give her any signals that could easily be interpreted the wrong way. He was determined to try and put his old ways behind him, but he was beginning to realise that going cold turkey wasn’t the best idea. Baby steps – that was the way to go about a change he had a feeling was going to take a lot of getting used to. Little by little, step by step, and he’d get there. But the fact Ellen had started talking about staying over at his place, leaving some of her things there so she didn’t have to keep bringing stuff over – that was the thin end of the wedge as far as Ryan was concerned. And no way was he anywhere near ready enough to have her move in with him, even though it was more than obvious that that was what she was hinting at. His life was in no state to welcome a serious relationship. Not the way things stood at the minute.

Everything was so much harder than he’d ever thought it would be. Something that should be so simple was proving to be the most difficult thing Ryan had ever had to face, but the past year had changed him in so many ways. And maybe the one thing he’d tried not to think about over the past few days was the only option left open to him now. He certainly had to open his mind to the idea that it could be a possibility.

His head was spinning with everything that was going on in there, and now, more than ever, Ryan wished he had someone he could talk to. He wished he had Amber.

‘I can’t believe I did that, Debbie, I really can’t,’ Amber sighed, sinking into the soft cushions of the sofa in the bar they’d ducked into for a glass or two of wine after a particularly busy morning’s shopping.

‘You said Jim’s fine about it.’ Debbie sat down on the chair opposite Amber. ‘In fact, you said he’s more than fine.’

‘He is,’ Amber went on, crossing her legs and wishing she could kick off her shoes. She was still getting used to walking in these new heels, never mind shopping in them, and her feet were killing her. Why she’d let Debbie talk her into wearing them today she had no idea. She wasn’t usually swayed so easily. ‘But still… I must have sounded like some crazed, hormonal, pre-menopausal madwoman. The poor bugger was only trying to get ready for work and I walk in and start demanding a baby! I still can’t believe those words came out of my own mouth.’