Fade In (41 page)
Cooper knocked up Winnie that winter on accident. His words, not mine. Winnie still did the movie since she wasn't really showing and wound up getting a few pretty great award nominations for best comedic actress. She didn't win, but she was happy all the same.
Just Kidding lasted another season after that. Then the Devons got their own show on a cable network and took Neil and Cynthia with them when they left for California. We still talk often, and it isn't that uncommon for them to call when they're stuck on something they are working on or arguing about.
Devon and Cynthia got married about a year after their move. You're welcome, Mr. And Mrs. Little Devon.
My sight dropped off a little more over those years but never left me completely blind. It was a struggle at times, but I was also lucky.
Ben proposed to me one night while lying in bed. There was nothing showy about it. He said, “You're it for me, Tatum. Please be my wife. I love you.” How could I say no to that? I wouldn't have anyway.
I was fortunate enough to see with my own eyes the tears that fell from Ben's on our wedding day as I walked down the aisle towards him—a precious gift I thank God for every day. He cried through the entire ceremony. He was a pussy like me.
Between you and me, it made me love him more.
I wore a killer, custom-made gown from an upcoming designer Winnie had recommended. It was a mermaid-style strapless dress that my dad said made me look like a classic movie star. I wore my hair down, since it had grown out some, and had it styled in soft waves.
As he promised me in his personal vows to “give me all of himself, guard my heart like it was his own, and laugh at all my ridiculous jokes,” he slipped a ring on my finger and made me Mrs. Tatum Meade.
I'll proudly wear both—the name and the jewelry—for the rest of my life.
I remember meeting Ben on that first day. I mean, I didn't remember him when we met again, but I remember that day and the guy who tried to grab my ass on the street. I tease him and tell him that I knew the whole time, but he knows better.
Some days are more challenging than others, but I've found that with acceptance comes strength. With the support of everyone I know, I haven't lost an ounce of my independence.
I wake up every day cloaked in the love of a truly good man who adores me and that means more to me than seeing the whole world. I see his love with my heart, not my eyes, and I don't have to memorize it, because it isn't going anywhere.
Sometimes a few things have to fade out to make room for better ones to fade in.
My wife is many things. She's smart and as sharp as glass. She's forgiving. She's genuine. And she's the sexiest thing I'll never deserve. People gravitate towards her like they do to fireworks on the Fourth of July. And for the same reasons. They're both surprising, loud, and so beautiful.
It's hard to find a girl who stimulates your mind and wants to have sex with the lights on. So if you find one, keep her. There's never a dull moment.
I've learned so much about myself through my life with her. From our wedding day to the day our boy Harris was born, she’s showed me how love can grow and amplify with every passing second. I'll never forget her first words to him when they put him on her chest.
“I see you, little guy. I get to see you,” she whispered to him like a tired soldier, crying and battered from twenty-six hours of labor but smiling anyway. “I'm your momma. This guy might say he's your daddy, but he has a bad time with names.”
She's a brilliant mother. She worried and fretted about not being able to care for him, but that woman could hear the slightest movement in his crib and was by his side in the blink of an eye. She was magnificent.
She also cussed every time he pooped for the first year, so it was no surprise when his first sentence was, “Shit, Momma.” Our sides hurt for days after that one.
She said that, since he was already funny when he first started talking, she'd have to work on her material. Harris stole her show.
They are so much alike. I have two forces of nature to yield to now on a daily basis. He throws wild fits when he can't get out what he wants or feels. That must be genetic. She laughs under her breath, but she knows how to talk him down from that three year-old ledge he works himself out onto.
We're a happy family. I'm a lucky man. My wife loves me—this I know. She tells me all the time and it's true.
Writing this book, my first book, has been an epic learning experience. Without the advice and support from the following, I wouldn’t have made it through.
Thank you, readers. Lovers of romance, you own me now.
I’d like to thank the blogs and bloggers. Natalee and Kiki at Hear This ~ Hear That, Kat at Momma Romance, Malory at Loverly’s Book Blog, Bianca at Biblo Belles Book Blog, Autumn at The Book Trollop, Sandie and Book Boyfriends Reviewers, Mickey at I’m A Book Shark, Love N. Books, Brilliantly Novel, Words For Worms, Bookish Temptations, Turning The Pages, Natasha is a Book Junkie, Aestas Book Blogger, Ana’s Attic Book Blog, Maryse’s Book Blog and countless others. Some of you I’m close with and some I just loved. Reading your reviews and reviewing along side of you, as books over the past few years came out, was not only fun, but an education for writing my own. So, thank you.
I have to thank my amazing IRAC family, especially the OGs. You’re advice, cheerleading and all around friendship mean everything. I’m so luck to have been sprinting on Twitter one day. I’m equally thankful for Tumblr Inspirations. Our group is a game changer for me. Talented women, I love you.
Tessa Teevan, thank you for inviting Tatum and Ben into your wonderful publication, Incinerate. I’m forever grateful.
To the wonderful companies that literally made this book with me, thank you. Ari at Cover It! Designs my cover is beautiful and
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Tatum and Ben. Mickey, at Mickey Reed Edits, you’re kindness and hand-holding made this book what it is. And to Stacey Blake at Self Publishing Editing and Formatting Services, thank you.
Jennifer Beach, my beta and my friend. You’re gentle nudges pushed me to the finish line and for that I’m forever grateful. Your blog, Back Off My Books, has been the flagship supporter of this novel and there isn’t anything I can type here that would be enough. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I want to thank my Mom and my sissy. Look! See what I can do.
I have to acknowledge my friends and family, that I love- the Mabies, Millers, Johnstons, Cates, Bevi, Fishers, Meyers, my fellow Kinderhookers, my biggest fans- the Goobie girls, my PDH & FA family, and my community. You believed in me, sometimes when I didn’t. Better people in this world, I will not find.
Natalie, a.k.a Author N.A. Alcorn, my partner in crime. You’ve motivated me and cheered me on every single step of the way. Meeting you was a hinge in my life. I have no doubt that we’ll be writing old lady smut someday, along side each other in a nursing home causing havoc galore. You’re permanent, Natalie.
To my sweet husband. You’re my everything.
Fifty-five cents, baby.
Let’s go on tour.
M. Mabie lives in Illinois with her husband. She loves reading and writing romance, and an active member of the Indie Author Romance Chicks. She cares about politics, but will not discuss them in public. She uses the same fork at every meal, watches Wayne’s World while cleaning, and lets her dog sleep on her head. M. Mabie has never been accused of being tight lipped or shy. In fact, if you listen very closely you can probably hear her flapping her gums.
You’re encouraged to contact M. Mabie about her future works, as well as this one.