Faded Denim: Color Me Trapped (9 page)

Finally, we reach our little A-frame cabin. Naturally, Kendra and Faye are already inside, and they’ve picked out the best bunks—lower bunks against the back wall that are directly across from each other. They must’ve already heard that the bottom beds are much cooler on hot summer nights. Oh well, at least I get the counselor’s bed, which is a single bed off by itself. Chelsea sets her things on the last remaining lower bunk, and when Hilary and Jenna arrive, they are forced to take upper bunks. But, thankfully, neither girl complains. Hilary goes for the bunk over Faye and Jenna takes the one over Chelsea.

When Penny arrives, I can tell that there is going to be trouble. She’s staring up at the last available bunk, the one above big-mouthed Kendra, and Penny looks stressed.

“No way,” says Kendra when she realizes what’s going on. “She can’t sleep over me!”

I give Kendra a warning look that doesn’t even faze her.

“I mean it,” says Kendra, holding her hands out for emphasis. “The whole bed could collapse and I would be killed. My parents
would sue you.”

Faye snickers.

“You can have my bed, Penny,” offers Chelsea. I’m so thankful for this sweet girl that I could kiss her.

“Thanks,” mutters Penny as she huffs over to the bed and dumps her stuff on the floor next to it.

“Whew,” says Kendra. “That was close. I didn’t want to wake up flatter than a pancake.”

Once again, Faye laughs. These two are really pushing the limits. And, okay, I realize I’ll need to do something about Kendra and her nasty attitude and mean mouth, but I’m so tired right now that all I want to do is just to lie down for a few minutes.

“You guys go ahead and unpack your stuff,” I tell them as I sit on my bed and pull out the camp schedule. “It looks like there’s nothing planned until lunchtime. And that’s in about forty minutes. Five minutes beforehand, they’ll blow an air horn to let us know to get down to the cafeteria.” Then I flop onto my back and sigh loudly. I pray silently, desperately.
God, get me through these two weeks
.

“H
OW ARE YOUR GIRLS?
” I
QUIETLY ASK
L
EAH WHEN WE FINALLY RECONNECT
at the end of the day. We’re on our way to campfire and most of our girls are walking ahead of us. Except for Penny. As usual, she’s lagging behind. I’m sure it’s partially to keep a safe distance from Kendra and Faye. I’ve tried to drop hints to these two girls, as well as the whole group, but it’s just not working, and I’m feeling like a complete failure.

“They’re great,” Leah says happily. “Real sweethearts.”

“Oh.”

“How about yours?” she asks.

“I don’t know . . .”

But it’s too late to continue our conversation. Two of her girls have come back to walk with her, one on each side, taking her hands as if she’s their new best friend. It’s hard not to feel jealous.

Counselors are supposed to sit with their campers at meals and at campfire, but already I have lost Kendra and Faye among all the middle-school kids. But at least my other four girls stick with me as we find an empty log bench and sit down. I search the crowd for my two runaways. Finally I see them with Leah and her girls. I try to catch Leah’s eye, hoping that she’ll send them back to me. But this isn’t working, and finally I have to go over and get them myself.

“You guys are supposed to sit with your cabinmates,” I tell them. They give me their best party-pooper looks as they reluctantly come back and sit with us.

The worship team, which includes Brett McEwen, does a great job with the songs, and then there is a little skit and some games, followed by one of the counselors giving his testimony. It occurs to me that this could be the one Leah’s so into, the guy who looks a little like Brad Pitt. And when I glance over to where Leah is sitting and see the starry-eyed look on her face, I know I’m right: This must be the guy from West Park. I scan the crowd, trying to find where Brett McEwen went to sit after helping with worship. Finally I spot him, duh, sitting directly across from me. He seems to be looking my way, but since we’re on opposite sides of the campfire, I realize he’s probably just looking at the speaker. Anyway, “Brad Pitt” turns out to have a good testimony, and I figure this guy has more than just looks going for him.

Then it’s time to return to our cabins for the night, and while I encourage my girls to stay together, I find that keeping Kendra and Faye with us is a little like herding cats. But eventually we are all safely back in our cabin, and I tell my girls to gather around for group time.

All the counselors have this workbook that we’re supposed to stick to during our two weeks up here. It includes morning and evening devotionals that we’re expected to do on a daily basis. I’ve already gone over mine and am ready to do it tonight, but I also feel the need to say something more first, something that might help my girls to be a little kinder to each other and maybe even bond. That’s what I’m hoping for.

“You know, we’re all coming from different places,” I begin, thinking that I might actually have their attention, although it’s
hard to tell. “And we all have different problems and struggles. But I really hope that we can get close to each other during our time together at camp. And I think it would be cool if we could learn to understand and accept each other despite our differences. I hope by the end of this session, we’ll really trust and respect each other for who we are.” I look around the group and smile hopefully.

That’s when Kendra suppresses a somewhat obnoxious giggle. Like she thinks I’ve just said something really funny. And of course Faye starts in too, and pretty soon both these girls are laughing so hard that you’d think I might have a future as a stand-up comic. And I am ready to knock their two silly heads together.

“Okay, do you want to let us in on the joke now?” I say, feeling very much like my third-grade teacher, old gray-haired Mrs. Snyder. That was one of her favorite lines.

Kendra simply shakes her head. And Faye, like monkey-see-monkey-do, follows suit. Penny, who’s already sitting on the outskirts of this group, just looks away as if she suspects this has to do with her. Hilary pulls her knees up to her chin and looks at her feet, and Jenna looks exasperated and tired. Pretty much the way I feel right now. Why do they have to make everything so difficult?

I glance over to Chelsea, hoping that this sweet girl might be able to help me out of this mess, but even she looks to be at a loss right now.

“Is there any way we can switch cabins?” Kendra suddenly says in a snitty tone, interrupting the uncomfortable silence.

“Huh?” I look at her and try to figure out what she means by this. Then I glance around our cabin’s interior to see if there’s something second-rate about it, but everything seems to be in fairly good condition, for a cabin anyway.

“Can we?” she persists.

“Do you think there’s something wrong with this cabin?” I ask. Of course, this just makes her start giggling again.

“Not the cabin,” she says, using that snitty tone again. “Just the people in it.”

Faye puts her hand over her mouth now, as if she’s trying to suppress her own giggles, and the sound that erupts is like a snort, which makes Kendra laugh even harder.

“What do you mean by that?” I ask Kendra, knowing that I’m probably opening a great big ugly can of worms right now. But maybe it’s better to just get this crud out in the open, deal with it, and get it over with.

She rolls her eyes as if it’s obvious. “It’s like you said, Emily, some of the people in this cabin are
different
.” Then she glances at Faye, for support I’m sure. “And
some
of us don’t really belong in this group. It makes us feel uncomfortable and we’d rather be someplace else where we fit in better. Isn’t camp supposed to be fun? Anyway, can we switch?”

I take in a deep breath, feeling like I really don’t need this right now. But here it is anyway. And my patience, unlike my waistline, has worn thin. “Kendra,” I begin in a serious tone, and the cabin grows very quiet, “it’s clear that you think you are better than the rest of us.” I glance at her cohort. “And maybe you think that too, Faye. But I’d like to know just what is it that makes you two so much better. Why do you think you are superior to us?”

Kendra just shrugs, giving me a look that says,
Duh, isn’t it obvious?

But Faye glances away, like maybe she’s a little embarrassed by my accusation. Good.

“Come on, Kendra,” I urge. “Why do you think you’re so special? What gives you the right to treat others like they’re below you? Like
you should be able to just walk on them? Can you tell the group, please? I’m sure we’d all like to know what makes you better.” I glance around at the other girls and see a mixture of expressions, everything from extremely uncomfortable to very curious.

Kendra looks directly at Penny now. “Well, for one thing,
she
is fat.” Then she looks at Chelsea, “and
she’s
a geek,” and then she looks at Hilary, “and
she
won’t even talk to anyone,” and then she looks at Jenna, and I can’t imagine what she’s going to say about the pretty girl, who hasn’t rubbed anyone wrong as far as I can see. “And Jenna is anorexic.”

Jenna stands up now, putting her hands on her slim hips and scowling at Kendra. “And you are just plain mean, Kendra. I hate you and Faye both! I hate all of you!” Then Jenna goes and climbs up onto her bunk, turning her back to us, and I think she’s crying. This is going so well.

Hilary is hunched over with her head bent all the way down into her knees as if she’s trying to turn into a ball, and Penny is starting to cry now, and I would like to strangle Kendra.

“Jenna is right,” I tell Kendra. “You
are
mean. And you do think you’re better than everyone else in this cabin, but you are so wrong. In fact, you couldn’t be further from the truth. Did you know that Jesus said that people who want to be great should humble themselves? He said they should treat others better than themselves. And you’re doing just the opposite, Kendra. Do you think Jesus would like how you’re treating other people? Or maybe you’re not really a Christian.”

“I am too a Christian,” she says in an angry voice.

“Then act like one,” I tell her.

Now I look around the rest of the group. “Hey, I don’t know you guys very well yet, but I’m really sorry that Kendra has gotten us off
to such a crummy start.”

No one says anything for several seconds. And I’m not sure what to do or say now. Can anything make this better? “Penny,” I finally say, waiting for this poor girl to make eye contact with me, “I know how you feel. I really struggle with my weight too. I’ve felt like the fat girl lots of times. But I can tell that you’re a really sweet person, and I can tell that you’ve got a sensitive spirit. And I’m really looking forward to getting to know you better.” I smile, and to my relief, she smiles back, just slightly, but enough to give me hope.

“And Hilary,” I say, waiting for her to pull her head out of her knees and look up, “I don’t know you either. But I can see that you love to read, and I’m guessing you’re smart too. And I just hope that you’ll open up and let us get to know you better because I’m sure you’re a really interesting girl. Can you do that?”

The corners of her mouth tilt up just slightly, then she says, “Okay.”

“And Chelsea,” I say with relief, “you have been my hero today. And I’m guessing that you take being a Christian seriously, because Jesus’ love is so obvious in your life. And if I had to pick a second leader in this cabin, it would definitely be you. I hope all you girls will take the time to get to know Chelsea better, because I know this girl has something very special going on.”

Chelsea looks slightly embarrassed, but then she gives us a big grin, and her silver braces just gleam.

Now I look at Jenna, or rather her back since she’s still up in her bunk, still facing the wall. “And Jenna,” I say loudly, hoping she’ll turn around, “I know you a little from my church and I’ve always liked you, and I also happen to think you’re a very pretty girl, but that’s about all I know. And I’m sure there’s a whole lot more, so I hope you’ll let us get to know you better too.”

She makes a little grunt so that at least I know she heard me. Then I turn my attention to Kendra’s partner in crime. “Faye, I don’t really know you, but you seem to be a follower, and it appears that you’ve fallen right into Kendra’s control. But I think that underneath those giggles and smart remarks, you still feel a little bit guilty about being mean.” I pause and give her a long, hard look. “Am I right?”

She kind of nods, keeping her eyes averted from Kendra’s.

“Are you a Christian?” I ask her pointedly.

She nods again.

“Do you think Jesus would be pleased with the way you and Kendra have treated the girls in your cabin?”

She shakes her head and to my surprise, I see her chin quiver slightly and then a tear streaks down her cheek. “I’m sorry,” she mutters.

Kendra makes a huffing sound, folding her arms across her chest in a very closed-off way. But I just ignore her as I lean over and put my hand on Faye’s shoulder. “I’m sure that the girls you’ve offended will forgive you,” I tell her, “if you’re really sorry.” She nods and wipes a tear. “Being a Christian is as much about forgiving others as it is about loving. And I have a feeling we’ll get lots of opportunities to do both.”