Faded (Rock Star Trilogy) (4 page)

I'm still staring at his lips.

“I don't want to until we're in love,” I answer. I'm shocked that I actually told him.

“Who says that we're not in love?” He looks shocked
by my words.

“You haven't told me yet,” I point out. “Which, I get. You're waiting
to say it to your future wife. It's super romantic, and it will be totally special for her. But I'm done with having meaningless sex.”

“Just because I haven't told you, doesn't mean I don't feel it. What I'm feeling for you is a lot more than lust, and sex with you would
not
be meaningless.”

Wow.

I think I just fell in love with him a little more.

Saturday, October 17

7:30
AM

Her French is terrible.

It
's 7:30 in Paris when we land, and it's raining, which is normal for here. It's 1:30 am in Florida, so we are all pretty exhausted. It is definitely going to be a long day. A car is waiting for us when we get there, and we all pack inside. It's going to be another two-hour drive to my house.

Bridgett and Alec fall right back asleep, but I'm too nervous to sleep. Stephan stays awake with me, because he's the sweetest boyfriend in the history of boyfriends.

“How are you feeling?” Stephan asks.

“Scared,” I answer truthfully.

I hate that I have to confront my mother like this. More than anything, I wish I had
normal
parents who love me.

He pushes my bangs away from my eyes and kisses my forehead. I lay my head
on his chest. We lie there in silence for a while. The only thing I can hear is the steady beat of his heart, Alec's light snoring, and the sound of rain falling on the car. It's serene.

And somehow, against all odds, I fall asleep against Stephan's chest.

When I wake up, we are pulling into my beautiful home in Paris.

The rain has cleared up, and the sun is shining now. Surrounding my home
are beautiful, rolling hills. The grass is still green, but the leaves on the trees are starting to turn yellow, orange, and red. The view is absolutely breathtaking. How had I forgotten how beautiful it is here?

The driver goes through the open gates and pulls to the front of the circle drive. He opens the door for us, and we
all get out.

“Wow,” Stephan and Bridgett both say.

Alec has been to my home before, but it's really nothing compared to the home his dad owns in Italy.

“This house is massive,” Bridgett says. “Seriously. It makes your house in Florida look like a shack.”

I laugh. My home here is large. It's three stories and even has a tower, so it looks like a castle. I love it. “We can live here if you want. I
can
speak French.”

Alec laughs at this. “She's lying. Her French is terrible.”

I stick my tongue out at him. “I'm willing to learn.”

“The French hate Americans, so I think I'm cool with staying in Florida.” Bridgett sighs happily. “But I'll vacation here
anytime
.”

I open up the double doors that lead into the house, and my mo
ther's maid, Agnes, lets out a frightened scream. She quickly calms down when she sees me, and then covers her heart with her hand.

“Miss Ryan, you scared me. I don't think your mother is expecting you.” I love Agnes. She's one of the sweetest people I've ever me
t…
Obviously, she has to be to put up with my evil mother.

“It's a su
rprise visit.” I step out of the doorway, letting Alec, Stephan, and Bridgett step inside.

Agnes'
s eyes get big as she looks between Bridgett and me.

“This is my twin sister, Bridgett, and my boyfriend, Stephan,” I tell her. She already knows Alec. “We just decided to surprise mom. Is she here?”

Agnes pulls me into a hug. After she pulls back she tells me, “Your mother went on a trip to Greece with Mr. Jack Michaud, but she is going to be back later today.”

I want to sigh in relief. I'm glad I have a little time to prepare before my mom gets here.

“Do you want me to help you carry your stuff upstairs?”

I want to laugh at Agnes. She is one of the few people I've met that is actually shorter than me.
She’s in her early sixties but works harder than most twenty year olds. I shake my head. “We've got it, but thanks.”

“It's good to see you again, Mr. Torch. It's been far too long,” she tells Alec. “
It’s good to see you two as well, Mr. Stephan, and Mis
s…
Ryan?”

“Evans,” she informs her. “I'm Bridgett Evans.”

Agnes shakes her head and looks at me. “You two are identical. Except Miss Evans doesn't have that mischievous look in her eyes that you do.”

Stephan laughs at that.

“I'm going to show everybody to their rooms,” I tell Agnes, and then head up to the second floor.

“I know where my room is,” Alec says, lugging his suitcase up the stairs. I'm surprised he
doesn't complain about having to carry his own luggage.

As we get upstairs, I put Bridgett in the first room on the right, and
I put Stephan across the hall from me.

“Would you be mad i
f I snuck into your room in the middle of the night?” Stephan flirts.

I
raise my eyebrows at his comment. “I guess you will just have to be sneaky and see.”

8:21 AM

L
ife is about to get crazy.

We all unpack and head downstairs. Agnes is in the kitchen cooking us breakfast. She's made my favorite — French toast. There are also fresh strawberries and whipped topping. My mouth waters at the sight.

“Your favorite
.” Alec smiles, sitting down at the head of the table. He always sits there. He grabs a plate and starts digging in as the rest of us take a seat.

“You have no table manners,” I tell him, and I grab a handful of strawberries for my French toast.

“Me?” he asks with his mouth full.

I roll my eyes and take a bite of my own food.

“This is amazing.” Bridgett shovels a huge bite in her mouth. “Screw table manners.”

“Agnes
does
make the best French toast
ever
,” Alec tells her. “One time Scarlett and I flew all the way here just to have breakfast.”

“That's not true,” I argue. “We stayed two days.”

Alec laughs. “Yeah, so we could have French toast
two days
in a row.”

I can't help but smile at the memory. “We have had some good times.”

Maybe having Alec around won't be so bad. He
is
my best friend. Everything that he is doing, he is doing for my career. He is looking out for me the only way he knows how to, and I love him for it. If it weren’t for him, I don’t think I would be the person I am today.

“I've been thinking, Scar,” Alec
starts out, and I know whatever he says is going to be bad. He is using his soft
don't be mad at me
voice. “I know that this is a very personal matter for you, but I think you should let me record this for the documentary. It's important to your stor
y…
”

I want to protest, but I
decide hear him out.

“Think about it. Bridgett came out of
nowhere
. Don't you think the audience wants to see you confront your mom? She lied to you for nineteen years. This is
GOLD
, and you have the opportunity to make millions.”

“I don't care about money.
I have more than I know what to do with as it is. I could retire and live comfortably for the rest of my life.” He knows this.

“You do know you're not going to be the only one paid, right? Bridgett, Stephan, me, and everybody who agrees to be in the documentary. Depending on the person, they get paid X amount of royalty per episode they appear in.”

If this were anybody other than Alec, I would worry that he only wanted me to do this to benefit himself, but I know he's
not
like that. He also knows I'm going to truly consider this, because it doesn't just benefit me. It benefits everybody I love.

“Plus, this is
your story
. Don’t you want to tell it before your parents do?”

Damn. This either benefits me, and everybody I love, or
it benefits my parents. The story is going to get out one way or the other. I’d rather my version get out first.

“Let's ma
ke a deal.” I fold my hands on the table, and consider what I'm about to say. It's life changing. “I will let you record me,
but
I get to choose what goes in and what doesn't. Some things are just personal and should stay between me and my family.”

Alec grins.
He's obviously satisfied with my conditions. “Deal.”

Everything is feeling a bit overwhelming. Then,
Stephan leans over and whispers in my ear, “Can we take this whipped topping back to your room?”

I bust out laughing and just shake my head at him.

I so needed that.

After breakfast, Stephan and
I go outside and lie on the hammock in the backyard. His arm is around me, and I am laying my head in the crook of his arm. I love how our bodies fit perfectly together. It's then that I realize this is our first time “lying down” together, and I like it.

Our relationship is so easy
and familiar. I don’t have to try to be with him, I just am. And I love that Stephan has never pressured me to do anything more than kiss. Sure, he jokes with me about it, but he's never pushed. It's like he's waiting for the perfect moment. I know that it wouldn't take much “pressure” to get me to cave. I want Stephan more than I've ever wanted any guy before. I swear, all he has to do it smile at me and I get turned on.

“Our life is about to get crazy,” Stephan comments, breaking the peaceful silence. “Well, I guess your life is already crazy.”

I know what Stephan's concerns are. He's never been in the spotlight before. If he does this, he will no longer have a normal life.

“I don't
have
to do this, if you’re not comfortable with it,” I tell him. “Just say the word, and I'll back out.”

“Sc
arlett, do not back out of this, especially not because of me,” he says quickly. “If I thought I couldn't handle it, I wouldn't be with you. But I would
never
ask you to give up your career.”

But I
would
give it up for him. He means more than anything. But I’m glad I don’t have to, because I love what I do. I sigh happily into his chest.

I want to tell
him that I love him, but I am too scared. I don't want anything to ruin this magical moment that I'm having with him. If I had the ability to freeze time, I would.

Stephan gently caresses my hair. “The week that you were in LA was so hard. I don't know what I would do without you.”

“I'm sorry that I left.” And I am. Even though I know Stephan has completely forgiven me, things aren't the same as they were. Our relationship feels different, and I know that I’m to blame.

“It's ok
ay to be broken, Scar. I'm broken too. You just got to learn that sometimes it’s okay to depend on other people.”

I can feel the tears build up, but I blink them away. I don't want to cry.

“You have to do this to move forward. At least you're trying to move. I'm not. I've been stuck in the same rut for three years now. Ever since my dad die
d…
” His voice breaks, and I can tell this is a hard conversation for him to have. “I know what I have to do, but I'm not strong enough. I wish that I was half as brave as you.”

“I'm only brave because of you. I could not do this without
your support, Stephan. I'm chicken. Even now, I am
scared to death
. My chest feels like a ton of bricks are sitting on it, and I'm having problems taking a deep breath. I just want this over with,” I admit.

“You are not chicken.” Stephan kisses the top of my head.

“Do you think it's a good idea to have Alec film this? Should the whole world really see?” I ask him, and I realize that I trust his judgment.

“It's hard to say one way or the other. Part of me thinks it's a very personal conversation to be on TV. But at the same time, you're getting your side of the story told. Don't you think your parents are going to try to sell this?”

“They definitely would.” He's right, and I already feel better about my decision. “Thank you.”

“Oh, I'm sure you will find s
ome way to make up for my help,” he replies, kissing my forehead. “I saw Agnes put the rest of the whip cream in the fridge.”

I can't help but giggle. I know that he's joking. I love how he can cheer me up with his cheesy lines. It's just one of the many things that I love about him.

And now I'm thinking about sex with him.

“What are you thinking?” Stephan asks, noticing my silence.

I feel my face flush. “Umm...” I try to think of something,
anything other than what I'm really thinking
. But I can't.

Stephan pushes me back a little so he can see my face. “You're blushing...”

I clear my throat.

“Tell me.”

I once again hide my face in his chest. I decide to be brave and just say it.