Fae (24 page)

"I believe your father
gave the blessing."

"Because I thought that's
what Cailen wanted."

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"What makes you think it
wasn't?"

Ice washed through me at
his words. Could Cailen have wanted her and not me? Yes, he did
now, obviously, but that was after years of absence. Hadn't I ever
mattered to him? "I—"

I couldn't say anything.
Not out loud, anyway. Not past the lump in my throat. Tears burned
at the corners of my eyes and I fought to keep them there. I
refused to let him think he'd gotten to me. I wouldn't even wipe at
them. He already had the upper hand. He remembered everything, I
only remembered in part. He could see my face, I could only see the
specks of light coursing through his body. We were not equals. He
was greater.

"Cailen needed a
Windbringer," he said. "Someone to help him with his temper. You
and he were never a good match."

Of course we weren't. I
was the last person to control anyone's temper. I didn't want to.
Who was I to stop their anger, their rage, when I didn't want to
stop mine?

Still, his father
shouldn't have chosen that for him. "Cailen should have had a
say."

He laughed out loud that
time, dark and unbelieving. "An eleven-year-old? Have a say?" He
shook his head. "You really don't remember anything about Auru, do
you?"

Right then I decided he
didn't need to know how much of my memory I'd gotten back. The
truth was, it wasn't a lot. But it was enough to know I'd been
betrayed. When I didn't answer, his face grew soft and he pulled me
into a hug.

"That life never should
have been taken from you," he said. "Especially not by lesser
men."

I pulled away. "A lot has
been taken from me. I'm used to it." I didn't need his comfort, his
arms that felt false around me. I didn't trust Galen. No father
should be on opposites sides of his son.

Lachlan cleared his throat
then. "Perhaps we should discuss our options now."

"Yes, of course." Galen's
voice turned light, almost playful. Confident. "Perhaps our dear
Ella would like to make the choice."

"What choice is
that?"

Galen picked up something
black and thin off a dark form of a table. He pushed something on
it, but nothing happened. At least nothing I could see. When he
brought it over to me to look at, I had to shake my
head.

"What is it?" I
said.

"It's a viewer." Galen
said as he waved his finger above the blank space of the disc. "It
shows us a holographic image of what's going on
outside."

"I can't see anything." I
pointed to my dead eyes.

His black eyes turned
sharply toward Lachlan before coming back to me.
"Really?"

I folded my arms in
answer.

He turned back to me, his
head craned forward. "Yes, I see it now. Your eye is clouded. I
hadn't noticed before. You hide it well." He paused.
"How?"

He'd been the first one to
ask. Perhaps that's why he was the leader. I'd gathered that just
in the few minutes I stood with him. Galen led. Everyone else
followed. So why did they even bother with me? I doubted Galen was
the type to step down. "I'm using the lights to help me," I
said.

"The lights?"

"You know, the red, blue,
and green points of light. They make me think of molecules. I see
them whenever I'm about to use my ability." I shrugged. "Well, I
realized I could see them all the time if I wanted to."

"Interesting." He put the
black disc down. "Red, blue, and green? I'm assuming you mean fire,
air, and water."

I nodded.

"It's different for each
Auri," he said.

"How is it for
you?"

"I don't see them. I feel
them, like pinpricks in the air."

Huh. I'd always assumed
every Auri experienced the molecules the same way as me. I wondered
how Cailen saw them.

No. I couldn't think about
Cailen. He wasn't mine. He'd made his decision.

"I guess I'm lucky," I
said. "It would stink to be totally blind."

"How do you see us?"
Lachlan asked, his voice thick with curiosity.

"You're just a bunch of
red, blue, and green lights. But they're all bunched up. Like I can
see the red lights in your veins and that helps me make out your
shape. And I can see the blue lights in your lungs and everywhere
else." I stared straight at him. "Your eyes are black,
though."

"Can you tell people
apart?" Lachlan said.

"No."

They both tensed, the red
lights racing.

"What's the big deal?" I
said. "It's still better than seeing nothing."

Galen relaxed. "That's
true. But it would help if you could tell the difference between
Auri and lesser beings."

I laughed. "That's it? You
just wanted to make sure I could tell you guys were special?" I
shook my head. "Don't worry. I can. The molecules react differently
around Auri." I waved my hand at Galen. "You, for example. I can
see how the blue lights react to you. It's like they're dancing,
always ready to obey."

In response, the blue
lights around Galen started twisting around, forming a funnel. My
hair whipped around my head. "Can you see that?" he
said.

"Of course."

The blue lights separated
and went back to hovering by him, waiting. "Interesting." I could
hear the smile in Galen's voice. "That could prove
useful."

"Lucky me." My stomach
cringed at the thought of Galen using me. I was past being used by
anyone.

"Since you can't see the
hologram." Lachlan brought us back to the really important
topic—not my "usefulness." "We might as well just tell you. The
Mamood have started their ground attack."

I waited for that sinking
feeling in my stomach. It didn't come. The Soltakians were far past
my caring. I'd known that before, but now my body proved it. They
weren't my concern. "And?" I said.

A whisper of a chuckle
passed Lachlan's lips. "They've also divided their armada forces.
They're attacking Soltak and a ship just behind the
moon."

My stomach did sink then.
How had they found Cailen's ship? And how could they have the
audacity to attack it?

"Who's winning that
battle?" I knew I didn't need to clarify. I'd already proven my
focus had shifted toward all things Auri.

"Cailen's ship," Galen's
snide voice chimed in. "Of course. But it's slow. The Mamood are
like insects the way they swarm everywhere."

"So what's the choice you
want me to make?"

"Do we leave everyone to
their business? Or do we take what's ours and annihilate them
all?"

"Does 'all' include the
Auri ship?"

"Of course."

I bit my lip. I didn't
know if I could do that. "But they're our people."

"No, they're traitors.
They've enslaved themselves to those who should be their slaves.
Unless they join the Order of Fae, we must eliminate
them."

"Even your
son?"

"I'd given up on him long
ago, Ella." Galen's voice dropped. "I replaced him the year I sent
him to Freor."

"That's
disgusting."

"That's my
sacrifice."

"
You're
sacrifice?"

"Yes. Mine. I loved him
once, but he chose someone else over me. I can't forgive
that."

"You are
unbelievable."

"You are Fae now. Can you
really think gods can dwell with the weak?"

"I would try to make it
work. If it was my child."

"Then you are still weak
and unworthy of leading us."

Drilium surged through my
veins and I felt my muscles swell and pull taught. If he wanted to
challenge my strength, I'd give him a good show.

Lachlan's hand wrapped
around my arm, pulling me back.

I ripped my arm away and
pushed the blue lights away from Galen, drawing them even out of
his lighted form. I was the master. Not him.

He dropped to the floor,
gasping.

"Ella." Lachlan's voice
punctured the air like an irritating bug. "You've proven your
point."

I smiled. Yes, I
had.

Galen rose to his knees as
the blue lights returned. His lungs pulled in air in thick bursts.
His body shook and I wondered if it was because he was starving for
air or if it was because he'd finally learned to fear
me.

Chapter Eleven

Decisions, Decisions

I let Galen recover. I
didn't want to kill the man. To be honest, I didn't know why I took
Cailen's side over his. Hadn't Cailen betrayed me enough? I would
have thought I'd be past caring for him.

But that's real love.
Selfless, without any regard for a person's own well-being, or
logic. Malik was right; Cailen had betrayed me worse than anyone
else. He'd made me love him first.

"How long have the Mamood
been attacking them?" I asked when Galen seemed ready to speak
again.

"They attacked the Aurora
when you and my son transported for Soltak," he said. "And they
began their planet-wide attack on the Soltakians when you
transported here."

"That's an interesting
coincidence." In fact, nothing was interesting about it. It
was
too much
of a
coincidence and my skin prickled in warning. "What do you think it
means?"

"We suspect they have a
way of knowing where you are," Lachlan said. "But if that's the
case, we don't understand why they're waiting until you leave to
launch their attack. We thought they'd come here for
you
."

That's what I'd thought
too. Now I wasn't so sure. I pressed my hand against the throbbing
ache that had started in my head. There was too much to process. I
pulled back the drilium so I could focus on something other than
the lights. Darkness smothered me and for once, I welcomed it. I
needed to be smothered with something devoid of anything. If only I
could have blocked out Lachlan and Galen's steady breaths and the
way the walls hissed.

One question needed to be
asked before any of the others. The only question that mattered
right then. "How could they know?"

"They could have implanted
you with something," Lachlan suggested.

"But that's very
unlikely." Galen's scoffing tone was starting to grate on my
nerves. "They wouldn't have expended such costly technology on a
prisoner, especially not one they'd sent to
Sho'ful
."

"You don't think they
would have done it for the Shadra?" Lachlan said to Galen the way
someone might speak to an idiot.

"No." This time I chose to
speak up for Galen. "They hadn't known I was the Shadra. At least,
not until right before I escaped."

We all fell silent. If
they weren't tracking me with an implant, they were following me
somehow. But no one had been with me at all three locations. No one
I could see, anyway. And since that Mosandarian weapon had blinded
me, the particular list had gotten a lot bigger. Still, if what was
following me was alive, I should have been able to see it. I
definitely
should have
been able to see it before I left with Cailen.

It had to be someone I
trusted.

Screams erupted outside
Galen's office. We all jumped and turned our heads to the door. And
then abrupt silence.

I turned to Galen. Since
he was the apparent leader, I had no problem letting him handle
this situation. Especially since we all knew there was only one
type of enemy who could have boarded this ship. Fellow
Auri.

Galen picked up the black
disk and cursed underneath his breath. "The Mamood have lost their
battle with Cailen."

"Cailen's here now?" For
some reason, this filled me with dread. I didn't want to look into
his eyes and see nothing but black.

Lachlan and Galen answered
by brushing past me. I followed their lighted forms out the door
and into the hall. Molecules bombarded my vision. Lighted forms ran
everywhere, totally in chaos. Eventually, they all blended into one
big mass of light. I couldn't distinguish between them and Galen or
Lachlan. I was lost. Frozen.

My heart beat overtime. If
this was what battle was going to be like for me now, I didn't
stand a chance. Not unless I destroyed everything. Drilium surged
at the thought. My stomach twisted with phantom hunger. Hunger for
death.

Not yet.

"Yessss."

Malik. Again.
Why do you always pick the worst times to talk to
me?

"That depends on who you
ask."
He chuckled.
"Kill them."

No. They're my
people.

"They're weak. They aren't
your equals. No one is. You were set above them."