Faery Worlds - Six Complete Novels (23 page)

"Um, yeah, okay, never mind." I realized it wasn't going well, so I bolted. I saw Tony later and confessed, although I left out the hairy details.

"You did WHAT?!" His face turned an interesting shade of reddish-purple and got all blotchy; even the whites of his eyes went a little red.

"Dude, chill. I didn't tell her you like her or wanted to get into her panties or anything."

"Wha ... ? Panti ... ? Wha ... ? ARRRRrrrgggg!" The strangled noises coming out of his throat didn't sound good. He bent over slightly, grabbing the door of his open locker, probably to keep himself from falling on the floor.

"Dude, holy shit, what is your problem? Breathe already, she's just a girl for chrissakes."

I started beating him on the back, hoping to get him breathing right again. His reaction struck me as over-the-top, especially for Tony. It crossed my mind that I could possibly be witnessing some psychological scarring happening right before my eyes. I did feel a measure of guilt over the fact that it was me who had caused it, but I assuaged this guilt by telling myself I was only trying to help the poor guy.

He was breathing deeply, trying to get a grip on himself. He elbowed my whacking hand off his back and stood, running his fingers through his hair until it stood on end. This was nothing new for Tony, as his hair was usually in a state of disarray.

"Do I even want to know what she said?" he asked, the look of hope in his eyes too pitiful to bear.

I sighed. "Not really, dude. She is too stuck up to even see you. I'm actually thinking about going back there and punching her in the face."

He looked stricken, his face now going white. "That bad, huh?"

I was afraid he was going to do that crazy breathing thing again. I put a serious look on my face. "No, actually. She just said your name; like, repeated it. She didn't say anything else. I just took off - I started thinking about the spasms you'd have if you found out I'd done it, and I got scared."

Tony knew my serious look was a load of crap. "You? Scared? That'll be the day." He closed his locker quietly, because Tony never slams his locker shut. "Let's go, we're gonna be late for class." He sounded really, really tired. Or bummed.

I felt like crap. Now I really wanted to punch that chick in the head, and I'm generally not a violent person. I talk tough, but I'm all talk and no action usually. I had to do something, though, to get him out of this mood.

"Oh boy,
biology
, hold me back. Tony, I'm so excited, I feel like
skipping
to class!" I grabbed his elbow and started skipping, dragging him along a few feet before he was able to wrestle himself away from me.

"Suit yourself!" I yelled, as I skipped my way through the crowds, annoying a few people on my way, no doubt.

"Skipping in a crowded hallway is antisocial, Jayne!" he yelled out after me.

"Perfect!" I yelled back.

Poor kid - thought he was gonna shame the maniac out of me. He should have known that was never going to work.

Just then the assistant principal opened his door, interrupting my reverie. He smiled at Brad who returned the smile and gave him a knowing look. Then he turned his head and saw me, scowling in recognition.

Perfect.
I tried to duplicate the look Brad had given him, just for fun, but I'm sure my humor was totally wasted on this guy.

"Jayne Sparks, what a surprise. Come into my office and sit."

Just another day of lame-ass high school. All I could think about as he blathered on and on about responsibility and respect was:
When am I finally going to get the hell out of this place?

***

I met Tony in front of the school after seventh period so we could walk home together. He lives two streets over from me, less than two minutes on foot.

"How'd your meeting with VP Matthews go today?" he asked.

"Why fine, thank you so much for asking," I answered brightly as I kept walking. Fast.

Tony struggled to keep up with me, carrying his normal hundred pounds of books and wearing his ugly-ass Frankenstein shoes. "Stop screwing around, Jayne; did you get suspended or not?"

"Nope. Just lectured until I wanted to stab myself in the eye with my pen. I actually prefer a suspension - otherwise known as a mini-vacation."

"Well, you're lucky. Anyway, I have news ...
big
news."

I immediately stopped, since Tony never said he had big news ...
it must be really big
, I thought. My unexpected stop caused him to bump into me.

Next thing I knew, his stupid backpack had swung off his shoulder and hit me in the arm, knocking me off the sidewalk to land in the grass on my butt under a big tree. Leaves cascaded down from its branches, landing all around and on me. I hadn't even touched the tree at all. Sad to think it was the percussion of my ass hitting the ground that had caused the tree to shed its clothing like that.

"
Aaarghh!
" I yelled out as I went down, "Tony what the hell is your problem?!"

"Oh crap, sorry!" He stopped struggling with his bag and rushed over to help me up. "Are you hurt?"

We both froze when we heard the next sound.

"Yo! Look at the two lovebirds under the tree. Whaddya doin' over there, dorks? Having a picnic?"

Brad Powers strikes again. He not only spends his time wooing the hearts of assistant principals and teachers everywhere, he also likes long walks on the beach, reading poetry, and making students who don't look like Barbie dolls feel like complete a-holes.

I stood up, brushing myself off. "Yes, Mr.
Flowers!
We
are
having a picnic! Why don't you come over here and join us? I have something special for you to EAT!"

Tony was sweating, the droplets of water beading up on his forehead as he pleaded with me. "Jayne, don't do it. Just shut up; he's going to pound us."

"Pound us? I highly doubt that. I'm pretty sure I can take him."

"What'd you say,
bitch?"
Brad was crossing the street, obviously planning to come join our picnic.

Tony went into full breakdown mode. "Jaaayyne, he's coming over heeere!"

"Shut up, Baloney, I can see that. Let me handle this."

Tony stood up straight, suddenly resolute, and no longer messing with his bag. "No way, Jayne, you'll get your butt kicked. Step aside."

I was in shock for a split second. My little boy was growing up before my eyes, but there was no time to ponder and sigh. First I had to save my life and the life of my best friend.

Before shit-for-brains could get too close, I stepped out to meet him partway. That was at the curb, where luckily I gained about five inches of height, making me only a few inches shorter than him instead of, like, eight.

He launched the first volley. "You got somethin' to say,
Freak?"
He stopped about two inches from me and engaged me in the high school fighter's stare down. I kick
ass
at that, so I gave him my best stuff. I can look crazy cool with my stare down. At least I think so, but Tony says it just stops at 'crazy' and leaves out the 'cool'.

"Yeah, I got somethin' to say, Flower Boy.
Go fuck yourself
... how 'bout that?"

The next thing I knew, I was back on the ground under the tree with what felt like the aftershocks of a run-in with a bull, echoing across my chest.
Did he just touch my boobs? Crap, my butt is gonna be sore later.
More leaves sprinkled down around me. It was starting to look like Fall in that one small space next to the sidewalk, except the leaves were green.

Before I could think anything else even more ridiculous, I heard Brad say, "Whoa, hey little dude, just chill."

This is me now: head tilted to the side, confused look of the family dog on my face ...
Do I hear fear in the voice of my worstest enemy, aimed at my bestest friend?

Yes, I did. I looked over to see my beloved Tone-Tone, pointing what was definitely a real, live nine-millimeter handgun, at Brad Powers. And he did all this standing on the sidewalk. In public. Not twenty yards from the front of the school.

Chapter Two

"Tony, what the hell?!"
I screamed, sounding like a freaked out girly-girl.

"Don't worry about it, Jayne; I got this one." His face was set with grim determination as he stared at Brad, the gun pointed right at his chest.

I'd never seen Tony look like that. Sweet little Tone-Tone. Shy little Tony Baloney. Frankenstein-messed-up-shoes wearing Tony Green - who right now looked very much like a small and skinny but still very badass Rambo.

"Um, Tony, I don't really know what the hell is going on right now, but you need to put that thing away ... like
now!"

Brad's self-preservation instincts must have just engaged then because he chimed in with, "Yeah, Tony, you should put that away. You don't want to shoot me; you'll get kicked out of school."

Brad was nobody's dummy, apparently. I knew this line of reasoning would get to Tony for sure, or at least I thought it would.

"Screw school, and screw you too,
Brad
." The last word was said with such venom, even I was a little scared at this point. Who was this kid, and what had he done with my best friend?

"Brad?" I asked carefully, "What did you do to Tony?"

"Nothin'! I didn't do anything to this little nut job ... he's freakin' out! It's got nothin' to do with me!" He was trying to back up without taking his eyes off the gun.

Tony responded very coolly. "He pushed you down, Jayne; he insulted you. He treats you like you're a piece of garbage all the time. That's not nothing."

To say that I was stunned would be an understatement; but the analysis of this interesting turn of events would have to wait for a time when I wasn't actually fearing that Brad Shit-For-Brains was going to die at the hands of my best, but misguided, friend.

"Tony, dude, it's nothing; he's not worth it. It doesn't bother me, I'm totally fine. Put the gun away and let's get the hell outta here."

I could see him relaxing a little bit, thinking. His grip on the gun loosened ever so slightly. Brad and I waited for Tony's next move.

"You heard her, Powers ... get the hell out." He gestured with the gun, encouraging Brad to move.

Brad didn't need to be told twice. He turned and sprinted away like I'm sure he does on the football field every week, not that I bother going to school games or anything.

Tony lowered the gun, bending over to pick up the backpack he had abandoned on the ground. He casually put the gun inside, zipping the bag up in one, quick motion.

I, on the other hand, was standing there frozen in place, still in shock over what I'd just witnessed.

"Come on, Jayne, let's go." He threw his bag over his shoulder and reached out to grab my elbow. I let him take it because my autopilot seemed to be jammed or something. It was easier at this point to let him call the shots. We walked together towards his house as my mind raced.

What the hell had just happened back there?
I snuck a peek at him sideways. He still had that weird, determined look on his face, but otherwise he was old Tony Baloney in his dorky clothes again. I wasn't sure exactly what to say, and I was pretty sure I should be delicate about it, but as you probably have guessed by now, subtlety is not really my style.

"TONY!!!!" I screamed. I stopped walking, turning to face him. "WHATTHEFUCKWASTHAT??!!" I was definitely freaking out.

"Jayne, don't make a big deal out of it ... come on." He tried to urge me forward, but I wasn't having any of that crap.

"I am
not
leaving this spot until you tell me what the hell that was all about! I'm serious!" I crossed my arms for emphasis, as if this would scare my best bud who had now revealed himself to be some sort of commando ninja guy.

"We'll talk about it at my house, I promise. Can we just go? I don't want anyone finding me out here with this thing."

"Okay, yeah, that thing ... that
thing
that happens to be a
gun
. I could see why you wouldn't want to be caught with
that."
We started walking again, me filling up the empty space around us with my hysteria.

"Because that would mean you'd go to jail and leave me at this shitty school by myself with all these losers who have nothing better to do than crap on me and my friends, not to mention my mother's asshat boyfriend who ... "

Oops.
I'd almost spilled the beans there. I tried for a quick recovery.