Fairy Thief (39 page)

Orji placed his hands on his hips; he looked very put out. “Isn’t it time we were going? I’m sure your prince awaits you with bated breath,
M’lady
.”

Saffron shook her head and her red curls bounced.
What a prick you are, Orji!
She wanted to scream it in his face. Instead, she ground her teeth and forced herself to be quiet.

Tai clapped his hands and startled everyone. “Well then, happy couple — if you would be so kind as to progress to your chariot and get this joyous evening under way, my brother and I can finally be rid of your tiresome selves, and get down to business of interrogating another tribe for our lost boys.” He smiled a great, big, fake smile and gestured at the caramel-colored pony that stood before them suddenly, waiting to pull the golden sleigh behind it. The pony and sleigh were decorated with lush, green garland and shiny, brass bells. In the sleigh was a mink-lined seat and mink blanket for the riders’ comfort.

Wo and Tai helped Saffron into the sleigh. She kissed them both on the cheek and thanked them profusely. They smiled, a little embarrassed, and with hands and wings waved her off. As the pony started to trot away, Saffron gave Orji one last disdainful look, then shot her nose in the air.

The pony had not taken ten steps, when suddenly, Saffron squawked and plopped down to the floor of the sleigh. She cursed loudly and repositioned herself on the seat after awkwardly getting up from the floor and shaking out the contraption that was her dress. She had been afraid of that. When the wagon had first taken off she had felt the silk of the slippery dress sliding across her plastic body, not hampered at all when it touched the cool, smooth mink. She held on with all of her might, but couldn’t stay put, and fell off the seat five more times before they reached the castle.

By the time they arrived, Orji was howling with glee, and was only too happy now to play the perfect escort. He couldn’t help it — there was nothing funnier than watching the Haughty Miss fall on her embellished ass, over and over and over…. He roared with laughter again, scaring the footmen that ran to receive them.

Before she knew it, they were inside, standing on the threshold of the most magnificent scene Saffron had ever seen.

At least
she
felt that way – Orji had been to hundreds of balls in his lifetime, and this looked much like any other I-can-spend-more-money-than-you affair. His eyes narrowed as his gaze fell on the young twit of a prince, who was below them on the bottom step of the sweeping marble staircase. The prince looked stupefied, staring up at Saffron, as if he had been turned to stone. Orji grunted.

Saffron found Prince John a moment after Orji had, and she gave him the most stunning, enchanting smile.

My wife,
was all Prince John could think — it roused his senses —
my wife, my wife, my wife.

Orji yanked Saffron’s hand. “Let’s go, Petunia, and get this greeting over with.” He hoped to startle her out of that goofy grin and glassy-eyed look. It didn’t work. Saffron practically floated ahead of him, right into the waiting arms of the prince. The prince didn’t take her hand and kiss it as any normal boob would — no — he took her fully into his waiting arms and kissed her cheek. A blast of air roared up through Orji like a bullet train. He thought he’d choke on his fury right there. Choke and kill. Kill while choking. He descended the rest of the stairs and moved in behind her. He stood absolutely still, right behind her — so close, in fact, that her hair rubbed his face and the back of her dress pushed against his front. She didn’t notice; she was so engaged with the splendor of the castle and the attention of the prince.

But, Prince John noticed. He wasted no time in inviting Saffron to dance, which successfully removed her from Orji’s vicinity.

Orji ground his teeth and whipped his head to the side. He needed to stop staring at them. When he looked over his left shoulder, his attention was drawn to a gaggle of females that had been staring at him ever since he had entered. He looked away, breaking several hearts at once. If this had been another night, another realm, he would have had his fill of those girls — all of them — and, with the dawn they would have gone home happy. He stalked to the group of females and plucked one without consideration. He spun her onto the dance floor and kept pace with Saffron.

He didn’t pay much attention to his partner. Her hair was all bouncy, blonde ringlets that dropped over her corseted, pushed-up chest. She smiled wantonly and forced Orji’s gaze back to her own cat-green eyes.

“
She is very beautiful.” The woman motioned with her chin in Saffron’s general direction, who was swinging by in the prince’s arms and laughing with abandon.

“
She’s a pain in my ass.” Orji grunted and swung his partner around, obstructing her view of Saffron.

“
Aaah, then I’m too late — you’re in love already.” The bombshell shrugged and left Orji alone on the dance floor.

Saffron hoped Orji didn’t notice, but she had her eye on Miss Jugs (so Saffron had instantly decided to name her). She couldn’t believe it when the woman broke the dance and left Orji stranded.
Hmph — he must
have pissed her off too!
Orji just had no clue when it came to women!

For Orji, the night dragged on like a torturous hell.

For Saffron, the night whisked by like an enchanted dream. Gone were the memories of Ny’s harassment, gone were the feelings of guilt for her dwindling attachment to Markis, gone was the sorrow of losing her family and her life in the Earthrealm. She was happy — blindly and blissfully happy. Nothing could take away her enjoyment of this totally perfect evening.

They sat down to dinner, she to the prince’s right and Orji somewhere down to the far, far, far left. Saffron saw Orji so far away, and giggled — she didn’t know they
made
tables that were that long! The prince smiled at her chirping laughter and toasted their happiness. Saffron sucked on the bubbly drink in her glass that looked very much like champagne. She ate. There were platters of roasted game with wild herbs, candied vegetables and fresh snap peas, puffed pastry stuffed with meat and seafood (she hoped, but what did it matter to a ghost?), fruit-like things, followed by snowy white cake and creamed berries. And, of course, more bubbly stuff. The food did not excite her palate, nor did the bubbly drink quench her thirst. But the perfection of the evening filled her soul, and she was sated.

The prince stroked her smooth, cool cheek and stared into her eyes. He invited her out to one of several grand, sweeping balconies. It was adorned with hundreds of white candles and many vases filled with roses the colors of deep sunset — their petals dark orange, their tips tinged blood-red.

Prince John led Saffron to a black, marbled rail. Over the dark forest beyond, an unusually large full moon hung low in the sky. The prince took both of her hands and smiled down at her. “Saffron,” he began, “I know I don’t know you very well. I know you’re from another realm, but I feel, in this short time, that we’ve grown to know each other — that there is something special between us, something I don’t want to let go of….” He waited to see if she would say anything — maybe agree whole-heartedly, perhaps? He continued on when she said nothing. “You are so beautiful this evening! Your gown shines like the very sun! Your hair reminds me of raindrops, jeweled raindrops that I wish would shower me, also….”

Saffron searched for something intelligent to say. “Red rain is toxic – it’s full of acid….”

“
Pardon me?”

Well, that took him by surprise. Her next swift comment was a noncommittal noise. “Aaahh….” Her joy was snuffed like a lit candle dropped into a pond. The prince was taking this evening in quite another direction altogether. She gave him a small smile. “A huh….” No great works of verbal art, to be sure, but she was absolutely at a loss for words. Was he really going to pop the dreaded question? Was he insane?

“
What I mean to ask is….” The prince got down on one knee and held a ruby-red velvet box up to her.

Oh, my God – you’re a moron….

“
Would you agree to become my betrothed, Saffron of the Earthrealm?”

Saffron’s eyes grew wide at the humungous blue diamond that seemed to catch fire when the moonlight hit it. It lay in an intricate filigree setting mounted to an equally ornate wrist cuff. She didn’t know that it was possible to choke on air, for a ghost even, but she was about to prove that souls could indeed gag and die on oxygen. “Oh, hell no!” She slapped her hand to her mouth.

Prince John must have suffered from temporary deafness – he went ahead and locked the cuff on her wrist. His eyes glittered.

Orji stepped out onto the balcony, just in time to see the prince on bended knee before his redheaded devil. He was decking her out with a betrothal cuff — and Saffron was just standing there, letting him do it! Orji knew his eyes didn’t deceive him — yet still, he couldn’t believe it. His looked at Saffron – she was looking back at him. Her eyes
clung
to his…. She truly looked
desperate….
Suddenly, Orji realized his fits of rage were all for naught, his unchecked jealousy good for nothing. He smirked at Saffron and wagged his fingers in greeting. Then he turned around and disappeared back into the ballroom.

Saffron moaned. Why didn’t Orji storm over and demand to know what was going on? Couldn’t he see what was going on?

Prince John cleared his throat.

Reluctantly, Saffron looked back at him. He had obviously been thrown by Orji’s appearance; a single drop of sweat ran from his brow and rolled down his face. “You will marry me, won’t you, Saffron?” His voice shook.

Saffron kept the offending cuffed wrist held away from her body. Her mind was screaming, trying to sort out just the right excuse — something to let him off the hook easily. She thought she had the perfect little speech concocted in record time. She opened her mouth and blurted, “Ahh…”

Prince John looked very confused. “Oh,” was all he said and stood up. He looked back at her, tears in his eyes. “You will,” he whispered.

Saffron winced. Great, he was crying. “It’s….complicated — you’re so hot and everything — you know? …if this had been a year ago, I would have totally proposed to you first…the second I saw you…because when I say you’re hot, I mean, you know…” She fanned herself wildly for emphasis, “…woooooweeeeee! But, I met all these people last year…these guys…and I’m so messed up, right now, you know…?”

“
It’s him, isn’t it?” Prince John looked forlornly at the spot Orji had just vacated.

“
Who?” Saffron looked at the spot, too, but had no idea what she was looking at. Then she realized who he meant. She balked, “Who...Orji?! Oh puh-lease! No.” She shook her head vehemently.

The prince didn’t say anything; he just looked at her with the saddest, most beautiful, puppy-dog eyes.

Saffron didn’t say anything, either. She rubbed her eyes and felt like pushing them into the back of her head.

The two stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do next.

The prince pushed her outstretched betrothal wrist down to her side. “You will marry me.” There was victorious dominance in his voice.

Saffron arched an eyebrow and dipped her chin.
Why, you little….
She opened her mouth to protest.

“
Yoo-hoo, Milord! Over here, Milord!”

Saffron’s head snapped over to see what ridiculous person was calling Prince John like that.

The servant had ruddy, red cheeks, and a plump bottom lip. Her hands pressed gently to her wide girth. “Milord — do forgive the intrusion. But, may I borrow your little friend, if only for a moment?”

Prince John frowned. “And what, mayhap, would you be needing her for?”

“
Oh, nothing but a little surprise for you, Milord….” Her voice was gentle, encouraging.

Prince John relented; it was the easiest way for both of them to part from this extremely embarrassing situation. The prince flicked his eyes to Saffron’s for a mere second, then nodded in the direction of the servant. He turned to hang over the balustrade and would look at her no more.

Saffron frowned as she walked towards the servant. This was
weird —
what did the woman want? The servant waved Saffron on, encouraging her to pick up her pace. Saffron did so, not really wanting to take orders from someone she didn’t know, but too bewildered to do otherwise.

“
Thank you, Milady, now — where is that spicy bit of man you came here with?”

Saffron looked doubtful. Spicy bit of man? “Who? Orji?” Try
bastard troll —
that would be more precise.