Faith in You (4 page)

But now there was someone who believed in him
, he thought, looking down at her. Someone who seemed to find him just right and he smiled, tightening his hold on her hand.

This time there was a chance for him. A chance for all that he had been missing and he intended not to screw it up.

#

Carmen stretched lazily, bumped her hand against his hard chest, and came instantly awake.

He was smiling at her indulgently and as she looked around, she realized the sun was beginning to set. “I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to sleep the afternoon away.”

He skimmed a finger along her cheekbone. “You’ve been asleep for less than an hour. We had a very late lunch.”

“Mmm,” she replied as he moved his finger down and traced the outline of her lips. “I had a nice nap. You’re very comfortable.”

“If comfortable is all that I can get today, I’ll settle for it.”

Carmen smiled, reached for his hand, and held it against her lips. She pressed a kiss against his palm. “I’d tell you more, but I wouldn’t want you to get too cocky.”

Paul nearly groaned at the innuendo behind her words and tried to quell his growing arousal. From his vantage point, she lay there, all too tempting and all too obviously suffering from her own desire. Her nipples were erect beneath her T-shirt and at the base of her throat, the pulse point that he had watched while she slept was now faster. Even her breath belied her growing response. It was forcibly measured, clearly restrained only through her force of will.

Well, he intended to ease past that will and have her respond to him more openly and honestly.

“Have I told you,” he began, dropping his hand to the line of her collarbone. “That even if I close my eyes,” he continued and did so. “I know the feel of your skin.”

He brushed his hand along the line of her collarbone, the softness of her skin teasing his fingertips. The fragility of her body creating a need to protect as well.

He opened his eyes, bent down until he was almost covering her body with his, and buried his head against the side of her neck. “I know your scent.” Breathing deeply, he gently bit her neck, delighted in the moan torn from her throat and the trembling of her body beneath his hand.

Paul licked the skin at the pulse point in her neck, imagining the heat of it against his mouth. “I want to taste all of you. All of you, do you understand?” he said in husky tones and brought his hand to cup her breast and brush his thumb against the hardening crest.

Carmen was caught up in the magic of his words, of his hands on her body, but some small measure of reserve raised its head. They were out in the open, in plain view although in the entire time they had been there, not one other person had come by. It was starting to get dark, although dusk still made it relatively light out. “Paul, this is too --”

“Ssshh. Let’s go in the pickup,” he replied and slipped his hands under her body, carrying her easily.

At his pickup, she helped by opening his door, slipping into the roomy interior of the cab. He joined her a second later, sitting on the bench seat, and motioning for her to come closer.

Carmen straddled his legs and leaned back against the dashboard. “Is this what you had in mind?” she teased, reached out, and slipped her hands under the hem of his shirt, inched them up until she could caress the hard muscles of his chest.

He groaned and encircled her waist with his hands. “I was being selfish,” he said as he raised his hands, tracing the lines of her body until he just cupped her breasts. “I was only thinking about what I wanted to do to you.”

Her insides were warming, growing liquid. Her breasts were already full and tight, but some part of her was hesitant, unsure if this was where she wanted to go with him. “Paul?”

“Mmm,” he replied, shifted his thumbs up, and brushed them across her nipples.

Carmen sucked in a quick breath. “God that feels good, Paul.” She reached up, covered his hands with hers, and stilled their motion.

“Carmen, please,” he pleaded, bent his head, and kissed his way across the line of her jaw. “I need to taste you. I’ve dreamed of this,” he said.

His words undid what little of her resolve remained. She eased off her T-shirt and cradled his head, brushing kisses along his brow as he bent his head even more, took one nipple into his mouth. The fabric of her suit did nothing to keep the wet and heat of his mouth away. The sweet tug of his mouth, strong and certain, jumbled her senses.

Paul reached up, slipped down the straps of her bathing suit to bare the swell of her breasts. Then slowly, reverently, he eased down the top. Her breasts were full, with large, caramel-colored nipples that were tight and begging for his mouth again.

He took one nipple into his mouth, teased the other nipple with his hand and her body grew lax against him, fluid. “You are so sweet,” he stopped to murmur, ran his thumb and forefinger around the nipple wet with the moistness from his mouth.

Carmen knew her body wasn’t her own anymore. All she wanted was his touch. His mouth on her and the weight of his body against hers. The heat of it blazing against the warmth of her own. She slipped off his lap and lay down on the bench of the pickup.

Paul started to follow her, but stopped short and cursed.

Carmen sat up slightly. It had grown dark and she struggled to see what was going on. All she could see was Paul bent over, fighting with something down on the floor of the pickup. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m stuck,” he said in frustration. “I forgot to take off the runaway strap on the board and it’s in the door, I think.” He sat up again, seemingly giving up on freeing himself, and moved over on the bench.

Carmen sat up as well, reached for him and encountered something long and hard and … thin, encased in fabric. “Is that --”

“The stick shift,” he groaned. “Lord, darlin’. I’m sorry. This is not the way it should be between us.”

She let go of the stick shift, pulled up her suit, and moved next to him. She cupped his cheek and stroked a finger against his lips. “Maybe some other time, Paul. When you’re not trapped in the door and I can really find your --”

“Enough, please. This wasn’t right and I’m sorry. You deserve better than this.”

Carmen sensed his anger and frustration and wanted to help ease his misery. “I deserve
you
. When it’s time, really time for something this special, it’ll happen and it’ll be right.”

Paul buried his head against her breasts where she cradled him to her tightly and reassured him with her touch. “How can you be so sure of things?”

“I’m not,” she admitted. “But I learned the hard way that you need to think positively. That you need to have faith.”

“Tell me,” he said, settling her against his side in the dark. He wished he could see her face, but there was little moon and the inside of the cab was nearly pitch black.

“Tell you what?” she asked, the confusion clear in her voice.

“Tell me what forced you to think that. What gave you the faith and strength to go on,” he urged.

Carmen tried to see him, but couldn’t. The darkness clothed in her in anonymity and made it possible to tell him a little about the things that had shaped her, given her that philosophy in life. She told him about her early life in Cuba, how hard it had been. About their boat trip to the United States and her fears that they would never make it and be forced to go back. “I prayed and prayed and told myself it would be all right. I was little, but I knew if my faith was strong enough, it would come true.”

“And it did,” he finished for her.

“Yes, it did. From that day on, I’ve lived that way,” she said confidently.

Paul wished he could have such certainty in his life. Such unshakable assurance that if one believed enough it would happen. He had wanted to have faith his whole life that his parents could love him like other parents did. He had wanted to have faith that his brother could be like other brothers. A friend. A combatant even, but still there for him. None of that had ever happened and he had lost his faith and erected defenses against the hurt of the failed relationships in his life. Against building new relationships, certain they were doomed to fail as well.

Until Carmen had come into his life. Somehow she had found a crack in his armor and given him a reason to try and believe. A risk, he knew and a knot of fear clenched his middle, made him hold her tighter.

Carmen returned his embrace, sensing the cold that had settled into him. She warmed him with her body, wanting to find a way to warm his soul and give him that spark which would allow him to think it was possible. She knew it might take time, but it would happen. So she held him and let him draw from her what he needed until he finally mumbled a husky, “It’s time to go.”

She released him then physically, but a small part of her still held him to her and believed.

Chapter 6

Carmen picked at the food on her plate and dug trails through the mix of black beans and rice with her fork.

“If mom saw you doing that, she’d tell you to stop playing with your food.” Connie ate her own rice and beans with gusto. She took one last piece of the Cuban steak and chewed it thoroughly before addressing Carmen again. “Something bothering you today?”

Carmen shrugged, forked up the last fried ripe plantain, and wolfed it down. “Nothing … well, maybe,” she admitted reluctantly.

Connie narrowed her eyes and studied her sister, knowing that there were many things that could be bothering her. Her upcoming test to be licensed as a Registered Nurse, the student loans to be paid off, and finally, Paul Stone. “If it’s about money --”

Carmen’s head snapped up, her eyes widening in surprise. “Money? No, luckily your husband is one nice boss. He just gave me a raise the other day.”

She nodded, picked up her soda, and took a quick sip. “How’s the studying going?”

Her sister shrugged half-heartedly. “Okay, I guess. But I really need to put in a lot more time over the next few weeks and I’m worried that Paul might not understand.”

Now Connie knew the source of her sister’s concern. “Paul has a lot of responsibilities himself. I’m sure he’d understand,” she urged, but seemingly failed to convince her sister.

“It seems to me Paul just likes to have fun. I’m not complaining because in the past two months we’ve had a lot of fun together. We’ve been to the Seaquarium, the clubs down in South Beach, windsurfing …”

Connie listened as Carmen ran off a litany of places she and Paul had been to and knew now why Paul looked as haggard as he did. To be taking Carmen to all of those places and still keep up with his work, he must be burning the midnight oil regularly.

“I mean,” Carmen railed on, gesturing with her hands in frustration. “I like to do things, but there’s more to life than just fun.” She ended her sentence with a huff.

“I’m shocked to hear this coming out of
your
mouth for a change. That was my number one line to you during high school.”

“That’s not fair,” Carmen shot back and at the hurt look on her face, Connie felt chagrin. She reached out and took hold of her sister’s hand. “I’m sorry, sis. It’s just that you and I are so different that way and I could never understand. You had your fun, but you also accomplished a lot and I’m very proud of you. Never doubt that.”

Carmen’s eyes glinted at her sister’s comment and it was all she could do to not start bawling. She had been feeling so out of sorts lately, not herself. She was used to being in control of herself and her life, but now with Paul, that had all seemed to change. “I really like him,” she admitted to Connie.

“How much ‘like’?” her sister pressed.

“
Really
like,” Carmen replied. “He makes me feel things I ….” She tossed her hands up in confusion.

“Have you slept --”

“No, Con. It’s not like that. Not yet anyway.” Carmen glanced down at her plate, deep in thought before facing her sister again. “You remember when we were talking about precautions?”

Connie nodded. “I know you and the Rivera boy --”

“Did it once. Just once, although I made you believe otherwise. There haven’t been any others since then.”

Connie was relieved and glad that her sister had such sense in today’s age of assorted sexual diseases. “And Paul?” she asked.

Carmen shrugged and started to shred her napkin into confetti. “He touches me and I melt. I think of what I want him to do … I’m doomed, Con.”

She reached out and stopped Carmen from continuing to tear the napkin into little bits of paper. “You’re in love, Carmen. And I think he cares as well.”

“I can’t tell. He’s never serious. He always wants to be doing all these things. It’s almost as if he’s never done any of them before.” It was part question, part statement, hoping Connie had more insight into the man who had attracted her so.

The waitress came over then, took their dessert orders, and cleared away their plates. Connie resumed their conversation. “I get the feeling that maybe this is all new for Paul. He’s always been too serious, almost stodgy. Not all that friendly. At first I thought it was snobbiness, but now,” Connie motioned with her hands, the uncertainty clear. “I think he’s lonely and insecure. Not all that sure of how to deal with people. You’ve changed that and him.”

For the better
, Carmen thought, her faith sure that their relationship was one that was worthwhile. “But how do I get him to stop being … I don’t know … up, all the time. I want him to know all of me, including the part that’s not all fun.”

Connie thought of the files sitting on Stone’s desk, ones she knew he had to have reviewed by Monday. She wondered if Paul had asked Carmen out for the weekend and asked her sister.

“Yeah, although I don’t know where he plans on taking me,” Carmen replied, her tone disheartened.

“You have studying to do, don’t you?” Connie asked.

Carmen rolled her eyes and groaned. “Tons and tons of it. Before I know it, the test will be here and I want to be ready.”

“Tell him that. Tell him you want to see him, but have work to do, is there anything he has that you can do together?”

Carmen considered what her sister had said. She wanted Paul to see another side of her. Wanted to know for herself, as well, that they could enjoy themselves just by being together. What Connie proposed would accomplish both. “How’d you get so smart about men,” she teased her sister, smiling as the waitress brought over the
flans
they had ordered. The egg custard looked sinfully rich and was coated with a syrupy caramel.

“I had a good teacher,” Connie said with a grin.

Carmen chuckled, reached over and gave her sister a hug as the weight of her problems slipped off her shoulders.

#

Paul had been taken aback by Carmen’s request at first, then realized it was the answer to his problems. He had been worrying for the past day or so how he would get the files reviewed and still be able to see her this weekend. They hadn’t spent a week in the last two months without seeing each other and he always looked forward to their time together.

She made him feel young and alive. Worthwhile. It had been so long since someone had made him feel as if he was worth loving and caring about. But that had made him worry that he couldn’t fail her. That was the reason he had planned all their outings with such care, trying to make sure she’d have fun. Not to say that he hadn’t had fun as well. He did. More fun that he’d ever thought he was capable of.

But now she just wanted to spend some time with him. She’d study and he’d work. It seemed easy, but he didn’t see how it could be so simple. As he packed up the files to work on over the weekend, he mentally itemized all that he had to get done before he picked her up and brought her to his home. After all, he wanted it to be perfect for her.

It was the only way he could be sure to keep her with him.

#

Paul’s home was on the Coral Way in Coral Gables. It was only about twenty minutes from her parents’ house and yet light years away. His home was blocks from the country club, Venetian Pool, and the Biltmore Hotel, in a neighborhood known for its beauty and sense of history. An upscale area.

She stepped out of his SUV and appreciated the elegant lines of the neo-classical style villa home from the sweeping drive in front of the house. The building was two storied with an impressive entrance. A pair of tall columns held up a portico and served to call attention to the front doorway. Dark colored double doors were centered at the back of the portico and framed by tall, narrow windows on either side. Positioned before each of the windows were large terra cotta pots planted with sculpted topiary bushes. Above the door sat a semi-circular stained glass window. It was done in earth tones, matching the ivory of the stucco walls, dark brown of the woods, and the rusty orange tiles on the roof.

The garden in front of the home was in tune with its Miami environs. On either side of the main entrance, a large palm mirrored the soaring lines of the portico columns. Other scattered palms gave the house shade while beautiful tropical plants, some of them in a bloom of riotous colors, tastefully accented the architecture. “It’s lovely.”

He smiled, held out his hand, and grabbed her bag of books from the car. “I’m glad you like it.”

She took his hand and he gave it a playful tug, escorted her up the walk and into his house.

Inside his home was equally well-appointed. The furniture was classic European antiques in rich fabrics. Linens, silks, and brocades. In the foyer a long chest of drawers in a rich mahogany held a large crystal vase filled with a gorgeous arrangement of flowers. Freesia, lilies, and lilacs, all in fragrant bloom. The chest sat centered beneath an octagonal mirror that opened the space by reflecting back the rest of the home. Two antique arm chairs sat on either side, upholstered in a nubby cream-colored fabric.

Beyond the foyer there was a large living room. The walls here, like in the foyer, were ivory, but with a darker glaze for texture. One wall of the room was dominated by a large entertainment system housed in cabinetry that had been custom made to match the period antiques in the rest of the room. Two lush overstuffed sofas in deeper ivory fabrics faced one another. A white marble-topped coffee table sat between and was artfully draped with a rich brocade fabric.

The far wall was all glass, showing off a large limestone terrace and pool. He pulled her in the direction of the back of the house and as they reached the end of the spacious living room, she noted the room opened to the right to an equally gorgeous and airy dining room, and a smaller breakfast nook.

“Your home is lovely,” she reassured as she noted the almost expectant look on his face.

He seemed to relax before her eyes and smiled, motioning her through an open French door which led to the patio. “I set us up out here next to the pool. I thought it might be more relaxing.”

It was heaven
, she thought. A long rectangular pool was surrounded by the limestone terrace and gardens. Limestone blocks were stacked on the left side of the pool to create a waterfall of sorts where water cascaded down the different levels of the blocks. Worked into the limestone were colorful ceramic tiles which echoed the earth tones throughout the house.

She turned, sighing in delight at their “work” area. Set beneath the canopy of a large palm tree was a wrought iron table and two chairs. Two cushioned chaise lounges were set slightly away, but still in the shade. Between the two chaise longues and on either side were small tables, for holding their papers and other materials, she guessed. In the background, the sounds of the water as it rushed over the stones, of wind-rustled foliage, soothed and enticed.

“I may find myself hard pressed to work,” she admitted, dreamily thinking of how easy it would be to sink into the comfort of the chaise and soak in some sun instead.

“Me, too,” he said and drew her near. “But for different reasons.”

Carmen leaned toward him and dropped a quick kiss on his lips. “Maybe that will keep you satisfied until later.”

Paul wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close. “No, but this might,” he said as he took her mouth hungrily, almost possessively, giving no quarter until Carmen melted against him.

She dropped her bag and slipped her hands up his back to hold him near. Moaned in protest, as he pulled away.

“Hungry?” he asked.

Carmen nodded and teased, “But not for food.”

There was no doubt in his mind that despite the playful nature of her response, there was more to it. He could see it in the flush across her cheeks and the darkening of her milk chocolate eyes. But he would wait to take her up on her offer. “Lunch first. Then studying. And then ….”

“Dinner?”

He laughed, gestured to the table and chairs and Carmen sat, primly unfolded the napkin from her place setting.

She waited for him as he joined her, pulling the cover off a medium-sized platter which held a mound of shrimp salad on a bed of thin avocado slices. “Please, help yourself,” he said and picked up a napkin covered basket, removed the cloth to reveal several rolls and croissants for her to choose from.

“Thanks,” she said and chose a croissant, waiting as he served her some of the salad and avocados and then served himself. Afterward, he lifted a pitcher and offered her a drink. “Fresh lemonade or I can go inside and get some soda.”

“The lemonade will be fine, thanks,” she replied. “This is all very nice, but you don’t have to go out of your way, Paul.”

Paul studied her, not sure she was being totally honest. In his general circle of acquaintances, everyone expected something. But as he examined her face, it was open and without any hint of deception. He wanted to return some of that honesty. “The people I’m usually with -- my family’s friends and acquaintances -- always want things just so, expect certain niceties that are some somehow supposed to --”

“Make you think that you care?” she interrupted and reached out for his hand. “Is that what all our dates have been about? Don’t you know that you don’t have to prove yourself to me? I like you just the way you are.”

Paul nodded, unable to find his voice, but held onto her hand tighter.

Carmen winced from the grip of his hand and he tempered his hold. But she seemed to know he needed more right now. She rose, walked to him, and he shifted his chair away from the table. She sat on his lap and drew his head near, cradling it to her breasts. “We’ve had a lot of fun the past few weeks. But I think we could have fun just being together, without you always trying to live up to all those expectations.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and savored her caring, the security her arms offered. After long minutes, he whispered hoarsely, “I like you, too. Just the way you are.”

Carmen dropped a kiss along the edge of his brow, softly whispering, “I’m glad, because I wasn’t sure I could live up to your expectations.”

He pulled away and raised his head until his lips were brushing hers. “You shattered all my expectations, Carmen. You’re more than I could ever have hoped for.” Paul moved his mouth against hers then, telling her even more with the language of his lips.