Fake (A Pretty Pill) (42 page)

“So you think he’s
that dangerous?”

“Of course.  He’s already proved that he is.  He didn’t get that
misappropriated identification winning it in a game of poker.” She points out.

I shiver.

That just makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

“
How do I protect Isi?” I croak.

“You do what you’re already doing.” She sighs.

“Why do I feel like it’s just not enough?”

“Because you don’t feel that anything you do will protect her.” She grimaces.

“You’re right.  But he was trying to woo Isi for ages before I came on the scene, why would he suddenly change his tactic?”

She looks at me with concern.

“You’re not going to like the truth.”

“Give it to me anyway.” I demand.

“Because suddenly he had competition.”

“Fuck.”

“Silas, you really must remain in control.” she states.

“I am.” I seethe.

“I’m not actually believing you right now.  Stress is a trigger.” She explains.

I know that.  I know this stress is killing me.  I know it has the ability to tip me over the edge.  I know everything she can possibly tell me.  And I’m trying, I’m really trying.

“So what do we do now?” I demand.

Isi.

Bonnie is talking animatedly through lunch.  She’s loves the book I got them and she says she’ll leave it wherever Jean will be relaxing next.

Silas seems a bit distant, and strangely, so does Jean.

When we finally leave, I wait only till we
’re in the car and driving off before asking Silas what he’s got on his mind.

“Nothing.” He replies grumpily.

“It’s not nothing, you look like someone stole your candy.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I want to talk about it.” I say.

“Why?” He snaps.

“Because we’re in a relationship.  And in order for that relationship to remain strong and healthy, we need to talk about stuff.”

“So talk about stuff.  Talk about the weathe
r, talk about the price of petrol, but please leave me alone on this one.” He huffs.

“So you can talk
to Jean and not to me?”

“Yes
, I can fucking talk to Dr. Jensen and not you. She was my God damn therapist and that’s what I do.  I talk to doctors.”

“I thought you were
starting to do better again.” I mention, a little saddened by his acidic tone.

“I’m doing just fine waiting for the fucking monster to come knocking at my door.” He shouts
sarcastically.

“Silas, you’re scaring me.” I tell him.

“We were talking about fucking Ethan, alright?  That’s what I’ve got on my mind.”

“What about him?  I need to know just as much as you do.” I reason.

“You won’t need to.  I’ll be stabbing him repeatedly if I see him set foot anywhere near you.” He growls.

“Silas,
what do you know?” I demand, driving faster.

“I don’t want to tell you
.” He shouts.

“Fucking tell me
.” I begin to cry in frustration, my voice breaking.

He gives me a tortured look, but I can’t watch him
for long, because I have to steer through the traffic and I already have the disadvantage of teary eyes.

He croaks a groan.

“Pull over Isi.” He says more calmly.

I pull over near a park.

I turn to look at him.

“I’m scared.” He says.

“Of Ethan or your illness?”

“Both.
” He says calmly, but his body contradicts him, he’s anything but calm, he’s shaking.

“Please tell me what I need to know.” I plead, putting my hand out to take his.

He looks at the joining of our hands as I interlace them together over the console.  He moves his other hand to rub his eyes and pinch at the bridge of his nose, while he groans.

“He probably won’t stop till he’s caught.” He says.

“He’ll keep trying to find us?” I whisper.

He nods.
  “He’s what they refer to as a sociopath.  He’s dangerous.”

I nod,
I realize this.

“What do you want me to do?” I ask, squeezing his hand.

“Stay close to me at all times.” He begs.

“I will.”

“I’m sorry for acting like a fuckwit.”

“I wish you
didn’t see me as the enemy.” I sigh.

“I know you’re not the enemy Isi.  I just want to keep you safe and happy.”

“That’s impossible if I see you struggling to deal with stuff.” I reason.

He reaches across with his right hand and touches my face.

“I love you Isi, I have never loved someone as much as I love you.  I didn’t even really know what it meant till now.” He says sincerely.

I lean in and kiss the palm of his hand.

“We’ll deal with this together, okay?” I bargain.

He nods and gives me a weak smile.  He looks down
and sighs.

“I’m slipping,
I feel it.  If we don’t find him soon, I’ll end up back in an acute setting.” He begins to cry, it’s heartbreaking.  “And then I won’t be able to protect you.  He’ll be able to waltz in and take you.”

“Oh Silas.  I wouldn’t let him take me easily.” I promise.  “And if you do go in again, I’ll be too busy
inside with you for him to stroll up and just take me.”

“Visiting hours don’t go for 24 hours a day.” He croaks.

“I’ll call Dad tomorrow and organize that money.  We’ll just hire a security team and live in a big-ass house for a while.” I argue.

“I hate that option; but it kind of makes me feel better.” He says softly.

“If it means I get to wake up next to you every day and know we’re safe, then I just don’t give a fuck.”

Silas.

I feel a little calmer knowing we have an option, but at the same time I absolutely hate it.

I feel myself elevating, but this time I’m dragging my depression up with it.  I’m scared, this can only end badly.  And it’s happening pretty fast; I normally can’t recognize it till it’s too late, because it happens insidiously slow most times.  The last time it was this rapid was my 18th birthday.

I’m only tempered by the fact that if I do go in, I won’t stay as long
, because I won’t be stupid like last time.  I’ll do the program and stick to being well behaved.

Jade is noticing my weird behavior tonight.

“You’re taking your medications properly, aren’t you Silas?” She asks.

“Yes
, I’m just not able to cope with this bullshit anymore.  It needs to stop.”

“Oh Silas.  Please hold on.  We just have to get to the other side.” Jade says, rubbing my neck and the top of my back.

“I’m really trying.”

“I know,
and I think you’re doing an amazing job.  I love you Silas.  I love you so much it hurts me to see you hurt.” She says.

“I love you too Jade.” I croak.

***

“Fuck,
Ben, what is it?” I ask.  Ben has just pushed me awake.  “It’s the middle of the night.” I groan.

“What’s going on?” Isi sleepily says into her pillow.

“Pete’s gym has just been smashed up.  He’s asked if we can go downtown and help with everyone to secure it overnight.” He explains.

“S
eriously?” Isi replies.

“I’ll get dressed.” I find myself replying.  “Isi?  Are you going to come?”

“How long are you going to be?” she asks.

“Ben?”  I ask.

“Well, if everyone is there, maybe an hour?”

“Oh,
I don’t really want to.  But if you really want me to.”

“I’m caught in two minds.”  I admit.  “On
the one hand you’ll be working in the dark, outdoors or in the gym, and I can’t have eyes in the back of my head; on the other hand, you’ll be without Ben and I here.”

“I’ll take the here, and I’ll make sure the door is double bolted.” She murmurs.

I sigh.  Ben gives me a shrug.

“I fucking hate both options.  Let’s go Ben.”

I get dressed in the darkness and shake Isi back awake.

“Lock the
door; I’ll phone when we come home so you can open up.” I say.

She nods and throws the covers off her bare legs.  She follows both of us to the entrance.

“Be careful guys.” She says and leans in to kiss me.

I kiss her back, briefly pulling her to me.

I step out the door and wait to hear her put the chain across and lock the deadbolt.

“Let’s go.” I tell Ben, walkin
g over to the bikes under cover and pulling on my helmet.

***

Someone did an absolute job on the place.  But it was fast and furious.  From all accounts nothing has been discovered to be missing.

We’re boarding the windows up till Pete can organize an assessor in the morning and a glassier to fix them.

I can hear Logan in my sleepy and tired state.

‘Not right,
this is bullshit.’

I don’t want to answer. 
But I think its bullshit too.

‘Fucking bullshit and he’ll be fucking her in your bed
right now.’

“Fuck
.” I whisper, holding up the board for Ben to hammer up.

“Hold it together Silas.” He warns.  “We’ll go back after this board.”

I nod.

‘She was too good for you anyway.’

I know it’s not real.  I know it gets worse if I actively listen, but as I feel the stress of the recent past get the better of me; the seductive tones that are a distant white noise when I’m well, begin to entice me in.

I’m suddenly filled with a terrible fear.

I know what happened here.  I know why nothing is missing.

I jump up and scramble towards my bike as an eerie calm fills me.  The sound in my mind is surreal, like angels lamenting a fall from grace.

I’ve been at this ledge before; I know what happens next, but I just have to get to Isi before
he
does.

Ben is holding me back from my bike.  He should know better.  I practically pick him up and shove him off.

I’m on my motorcycle and my heart rate is driving the adrenaline through my veins ever faster.

I’m off.  M
y sound track for imminent destruction is metal and hardcore punk, painfully playing in my mind as I feel the knowledge of reality leaving me.

Isi.

A sound from the kitchen has my attention.  I’ve just drifted back to sleep
, but not enough obviously, because I wake up to the sound.

It’s probably just Jade getting up for Ben.

I groan and I hear a light, clattering noise; like she’s dropped a bottle on the floor.

I better go and see if she wants some help.

I get up and turn the nightlight on so I’m not blinded but can see enough when I return to the room.

I shuffle out my door
in my panties and a t-shirt and walk to the kitchen.  There’s a light on, but it’s just the exhaust fan light.  Jade obviously doesn’t wanting to blind herself either.

I call out through a yawn.

“Jade?”

She doesn’t answer, but I hear a shuffling.

Walking around the corner I see the light on, but no-one is there.  I suddenly realize I can’t hear Ben grumbling either.

In my sleepy state I breathe in deep and shake my head.

The kitchen feels really cold.

There
’s a bottle on the floor, so I bend down and collect it up.

It must’ve fallen free from the drainer, where Jade lets them air overnight after washing them out.

“So it was you that woke me, you little bastard.” I tell the offending object.

I place it on the dirty side of the sink, since it
’s fallen on the floor and I go to turn around, but the sudden chill on my face and the chill in the kitchen are explained.

The window above the sink is open.

I know for a fact that Jade doesn’t open these windows.  At least since I’ve been here, that’s been the case.

My shaking hand reaches up to pull the lace curtain back and look at the window.  It’s been jimmied with something.  The twisted
and pushed in frame tells me it’s so.

Suddenly my body feels
a prickling and intense fear.