Falcon Song: A love story (2 page)

That had been the longest night of Jason’s life. Both families had been at the hospital all night, crying together and praying together that God would somehow heal the lungs that were unable to give that vital life-giving oxygen to his organs.

In the end, Kennen lost the fight. Jason and Kate had been standing beside his bed holding his hands and just in that darkest hour before dawn, he’d given the most feather light squeeze and slipped away.

As they visited with their parents in the stadium parking lot before leaving for home, Jason wished once more for Kennen’s healing influence in his and Kate’s life. Kennen could have gotten to the bottom of whatever it was that was making Kate a touch reserved with him lately.

***

Kate knew Jason had been disappointed that she’d brought her car to the graduation ceremony. He’d wanted to pick her up and start celebrating right then, but she had other things that needed doing before she could relax. It was payday at her parents’ restaurant and she needed to get back and process the payroll and place an order with the produce wholesaler before four o’clock. She’d left Jason there in the parking lot of the stadium watching her with a thoughtful look on his face as she drove away to head back to the small town of Wye, Oklahoma where they both lived.

He’d asked her in a round about way again about being more committed and she pulled out of the lot, wondering if she’d lost her mind for not saying yes in an instant. Jason was the love of her life and she absolutely wanted to marry him, so then why was she hesitating? In a way, it made no sense. In another way it made a lot of sense. At any rate, she had to do what she thought was best here. What she thought God intended, and so far, waiting was what she felt she needed to do. She just hoped Jason didn’t give up on her in the mean time. She’d never forgive herself if he did.

Her mother must have been thinking the same thing as she walked into the kitchen as Kate sliced fruit onto a plate later that afternoon just before Jason was coming to get her. He mother snagged a bite of melon as she asked, “Isn’t Jason taking you out to dinner?”

Kate nodded. “He is. He’ll be here in about fifteen minutes. I just haven’t had time for lunch today and needed something. What are you going to do tonight?”

Laura Birch smiled at her daughter to soften her sad words. “Oh, the usual. Feed Daddy and get him settled and then maybe a little TV or Sudoku while I wait up to make sure you get home safely. I hope you’re appreciating this fun time in your life.”

Kate knew her mother had resigned herself to the fact that her husband would never walk again because of being hit by a driver who was high on drugs at the time, but she also missed the socially active life they’d enjoyed before. Jason’s parents spent a lot of time at the Birch home, but it wasn’t the same.

Kate tried to cheer her up. “I absolutely am. Hey, you could come watch the meteor shower with us once you got Dad settled.”

Laura laughed. “Oh, sure. You and Jason, and Cody and his date, and your mother. That might be just a tad awkward. Thank you, but no.” 

“I don’t know.” Kate mused almost to herself. “You might be just what I need out there tonight.”

Her mother studied her quietly for a couple of moments and then asked, “What’s going on, Kate? Why are you not on cloud nine like you usually are when you’re going somewhere with Jason?”

Kate paused as she thought about that. “Maybe it’s just that I’m so tired from finals. I don’t know.” She hesitated again and then continued, “Jason hinted about wanting to move on to more commitment again. Part of me wants to laugh and kiss him and go buy a ring. But part of me also feels this incredible need to make sure that I’m what he really wants.”

“Kate, you’ve been what that man wanted since you were tiny. Why do you doubt him?”

“You know, I don’t really doubt him. I know Jason better than I know myself. And he is the greatest man I’ve ever known. I just have this need to make triple sure he’s not going to become rich and famous and have regrets about marrying the girl next door.” She turned to her mother. “I can’t take a chance on being just another wife who gets left behind when the husband starts to move in those bigger and bigger circles. I’m a great fish in this little pond, Mom, but Jason is headed for the big time.”

“He is headed for the big time, Kate. I believe you’re right, but that doesn’t change his character. And I believe you’re a fish who can hold her own in any pond on the planet. In looks and brains, and all the rest. You’re one of the most dynamic women I’ve ever known, even if I am your mother.”

Kate shook her head and thoughtfully took a bite of fruit. Ignoring the sweet compliments her mother had thrown in at the end, she asked, “So does that mean that all the broken marriages on those magazine covers at the grocery store are just because all of those people had weak characters going into their fame? Or is there something about fame and money that puts some huge amount of pressure on otherwise good people’s judgment? I need your wisdom here, mother. I love Jason, but I don’t want to be a statistic. If he’s going to have regrets, I want to get to them before we have children involved.”

Her mother hesitated for a moment and then commented, “I see your reasoning, Kate, but aren’t you, in effect, saying that you don’t trust Jason to be faithful?”

“No. I don’t think so. I don’t think he’d ever cheat in a marriage. I just don’t want him to ever wish he wasn’t stuck with me. I’m just hoping and praying that by giving him some freedom now, that he’ll see all the other flavors out there and still decide he prefers Kate. But absolute fidelity isn’t really optional. Is it?”

“No, Kate, it isn’t. But absolute perfection isn’t possible either. If you’re going to hand Jason enough rope to hang himself, you have to face the reality that he might and that you facilitated it. You’d probably regret that more than diving in head first now. Wouldn’t you?”

“At that point, wouldn’t it just prove I was wise to hesitate?”

Her mom came around the counter and put an arm around her. “I don’t know, Katie, honey. I hate to admit it, but mothers don’t know everything. And this is certainly a decision you have to make for yourself and then be completely at peace with. You’re the one God is sending personal inspiration to for your life and you’re the one who has to live with all of it. Pray about it. Pray that you’ll be wise but still be able to enjoy your young life. This is supposed to be a happy night, remember? And y’all don’t look very happy just now.”

Kate began to clean up the cutting board and put the fruit away. “You’re right. As usual. I’m not sure why I’m uptight tonight. Sometimes lately I just feel a little like I don’t really know this new Jason, the country music star. Silly, huh? It’s probably just that I’m so tired. I’ll be fine tomorrow.” She went to the bag she was going to take with them and began packing the car blankets she was taking.

Picking up the other blanket, her mom cautioned, “Use your head out there tonight, Kate. I know you and Jason always try to make good decisions, but he’s not a little boy anymore and that figure y’all are sporting would tempt Saint Peter himself. Remember that you’re a daughter of God.”

Kate smiled and hugged her mother. “I will, Mom. And we won’t share a blanket. Don’t worry.”

“It’s a mom’s job to worry, Katelyn Birch. Have fun and don’t let any meteors fall on you. Okay?”

Lifting the loaded bag, Kate grinned and said, “When a meteor falls on you, Mom, then it’s no longer called a meteor, it’s a meteorite. And you don’t care what it’s called because you’re squished anyway.” She kissed her mother. “Love you, Mom. See ya later.”

Chapter 2

Actually, Kate would have been good with a meteor falling on them an hour later as she sat in an elegant restaurant with Jason and Cody and some girl named Ryanna with a big chest and a little brain. It wasn’t the chest or the little brain that Kate wanted to be crushed by a meteor. It was the bottle of champagne that sat chilling on ice on the table between Jason and Cody that was troubling her just now. Kate was in complete shock that it was even sitting on their table. She and Jason didn’t drink. And Cody knew that as well as anyone.

Ryanna obviously didn’t as she encouraged the server to fill four beautiful champagne flutes with the sparkling, pale pink liquid. Kate wasn’t sure whether to get to the bottom of what was going on, or simply discreetly ignore it and go on with the meal that had suddenly made her decidedly uncomfortable. After trying unsuccessfully to catch Jason’s eye, she decided to play dumb and just eat. Her couple of bites of fruit hadn’t gone far and she was starving.

Cody and Ryanna were making a big deal of celebrating the band’s record contract and Kate made a commitment to swallow her anxiousness and at least be enthusiastic with them. Even tired, this was a good day and needed to be enjoyed.

Her chicken Marsala was marvelous and she was savoring it as she watched Jason pick up his flute of champagne and sip from it. She put her fork down and looked at him in surprise and Cody laughed and said, “Oh, lighten up, Katie Ree. It’s just champagne. It’s not like he’s drinking Jack Daniels. We’re celebrating, remember? There’s less alcohol in that than there is in your chicken and you know it. Don’t give him the look.”

Ryanna laughed a veritable cackle of a laugh that wasn’t intended to be friendly as she said in mock horror. “Oh, no! We have one of those goody two shoes non-partakers amongst us? Cody, I never expected y’all to hang with such stiff friends. What’s up with this?”

Cody backed his date off. “Easy, Ri. Kate is like a sister to me. And the world needs nondrinkers. Somebody has to drive when the rest of us are plastered.” He turned to Kate. “I really didn’t think you’d mind, Kate. It’s only champagne. That’s not real alcohol. It’s more like fancy apple cider or something. Try it. You might like it once in a blue moon when we have something really big like this to celebrate.”

Kate looked over at Jason who picked up the flute again and sipped it. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Kate, but I really don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s a two hundred dollar bottle of sparkling fruit juice is all. It’s not like we’re having a kegger and getting swaggering drunk.”

She dropped her eyes to concentrate on her chicken Marsala, although right now knowing what it was made with made it seem distasteful as well, even as hungry as she was. She struggled with suddenly feeling as if they were all three of them looking down on her for not joining in with their party. She wasn’t used to feeling this way with Jason or even with Cody and in a way it stung.

Not only that, but she was young enough that the management could literally come and take her fancy flute away if they realized it. She could only imagine what Ryanna would comment about something like that, and hoped that at least that wouldn’t happen.

Typically self assured about her high standards, Kate realized she was unsure of herself and it made her mad as she sat and tried to ignore the others and focus on her hunger. Who were they to question what she knew in her heart was a wiser course of action than they’d chosen? And what was she doing feeling self conscious about it anyway? It was just because for once Jason wasn’t choosing the higher road with her. He’d never done that before, but she was strong enough to stand alone.

She raised her chin and glanced over at Jason who smiled at her as he cut a bite of his steak. When he put his knife down and reached for her hand to give it a squeeze, she felt a little more like herself until he released it and reached for the elegant glass with the pink liquid again.

What was up with him tonight? This didn’t even seem like the Jason she knew. Troubled more than ever, she tried to brush it off and eat. There wasn’t a thing she could do about the whole situation until they left the restaurant and had some privacy anyway. She decided not to let this get to her so much and looked around at the restaurant. She’d never been here before and it was really lovely. Which was a good thing, because the company tonight stunk. Even Jason.

In the parking lot after leaving, Kate didn’t even hesitate to ask for Cody’s keys. At the very least it would send the message home that there was a reason she chose not to drink. Cody and his date automatically got into the back seat of the Jeep. That was one thing about Cody. When he was drinking, he didn’t try to get behind the wheel.

Kate drove them to the point above the river where they’d decided to watch the meteor shower and they built a fire in the old ring of blackened rocks as they waited for the sun to finish going down and darkness to set in. Kate was even more nonplussed when Cody produced another bottle of champagne out of the Jeep and another set of fancy fluted glassware. What was up with him tonight?

She was relieved when Cody and Ryanna disappeared around the bend of the river with a blanket and their drinks and it was just her and Jason for a while. Even drinking champagne, Jason was an entity she could handle. At least she always had been able to.

              Jason didn’t seem to notice the champagne. Maybe he hadn’t even seen Cody unload it because Jason just got out his acoustic guitar and settled on a huge old log that had been dragged up next to the fire and started to play. As his rich voice began to sound across the flames, blending with the clear, hypnotic notes of the guitar, Kate could feel herself start to relax and she brought a little blanket and came over and sat next to his stump seat to lean against him. This was her Jason. The friend she’d leaned on her whole life.

              As tired as she was, it didn’t take her long to begin to get sleepy and mellow and she leaned her head back against Jason’s leg and yawned. She wasn’t sure she could stay awake to watch the shooting stars.

              Jason put the guitar down and put a hand on her shoulder and yawned himself. “Oh man, Kate. This grueling week is coming back to bite me. How are you doing? Are y’all as tired as me?”

              She put a hand up to rest on his on her shoulder. “I’m fine. A little tired, but I’m okay. So tell me more about your week. How was the big city?” 

              He got up and went over to Cody’s Jeep and started digging around in it, talking over his shoulder as he went, “The city was cool. It’s busy and crowded and if I had to live there, I’d be crazed, but it was fun. Didn’t Cody bring anything other than champagne to drink? Geez, the man is nuts. There’s not even a Coke in here. Where’d they go, anyway? Do you know?” He came back over to her with a flute of champagne. “I know you weren’t very happy about the champagne, but I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal. It’s not really wine or beer or something. I’m thirsty and I’m going to have some more. Can I get you some or would y’all just rather not? Would you like to try a taste of mine? It really does just taste like extra sparkling fruit juice.”

              He sat down on the log again and she leaned back against him one more time. “I don’t know, Jase. It seems like drinking. I mean, it is alcoholic.”

              “Yeah, but so is the cooking wine you use all the time in your restaurant. And although I would never crack open a beer; this doesn’t bother me too much. I’ve never celebrated with champagne before, but then I’ve never had my own recording contract before either.” He offered her the flute. “Try a taste. If you hate it, we’ll make a run back in to the C-store at the junction.”

              She absent mindedly took the stemware he was offering her and closed her eyes for a minute to rest them while she thought about it and then stayed resting against him as he began to play again. He sang her the first song he’d ever written for her and even though it had gone on to become a top ten hit on the radio, she never tired of hearing him sing it to her when it was just the two of them and his guitar.

              When the song was over, she opened her eyes and took a tentative sip of the champagne. It wasn’t too bad. It didn’t really taste like fruit juice, but it wasn’t nearly as nasty as cooking wine before it cooked off.

She took another sip and leaned back against Jason again. When it was like this, she didn’t have the doubts and fears she’d been fighting lately. She wanted Jason to be as successful and popular and famous as he absolutely could. She did. But it was really nice to be back to just them and their friendship, the way it had always been.

Jason started another song and Kate moved her legs around to the other side to work the kinks out and then settled back again and took another sip from the glass. She was thirsty. She hadn’t drunk anything with dinner because she hadn’t wanted to draw attention to herself by asking the server for a glass of water.

By the time it was fully dark, Kate was feeling incredibly mellow and relaxed and oh so sleepy. Cody and Ryanna still weren’t back and Kate finished Jason’s drink and then got up to try and wake up some. She went back to the car and brought more blankets to spread out on the nearby grass so they could watch the stars and then folded another one into a pillow. Feeling a bit guilty for drinking all of his champagne, she refilled the flute and set it back beside him.

Lying on her tummy on the blanket next to Jason, she yawned and looked back up at him in the firelight. It was incredibly nice here. She wished it could be like this all the time. She pulled the folded blanket under her chin and reached for the glass she’d set aside. She was a fool to worry like she’d been. Jason was her best friend and he always would be and she loved him dearly.

Jason let the fire die down so it would be darker to see the stars and then he put his guitar aside, refilled the pretty champagne glass, sipped from it, handed it back to her and then sprawled down beside her. Turning on his back, he moved closer to her and put his head on her folded pillow and looked up at the stars above them. He smelled incredibly nice when he was this close. She drained the glass and then set it aside and leaned to kiss him. He tasted warm and slightly fruity just now.

A moment later, she pulled away and rested her forehead on the blanket she was lying on. Stars were definitely not what she was focused on right this second, and a little nap actually sounded more inviting than watching the meteor shower, but she didn’t want to admit that to Jason. Not on their first night with him back from Nashville.

Jason reached and refilled the glass again and as he took a sip, she watched the muscles of his throat move, marveling that such an incredibly attractive man loved her when he could have any girl he really wanted, especially now that the band had made a name for itself. He was watching her as he swallowed and he pulled the glass away, slowly licked his lips and offered it back to her, all without looking away. In the moonlight his green eyes looked like a deep pools of liquid as he whispered, “Falcons mate for life, Kate. I love you.”

When he told her that, it made something low in her tummy do somersaults, and she blinked, thoroughly enjoying the way being adored by him made her feel. She finished the champagne and then turned over onto her back and snuggled over to him. It was time to concentrate on the stars or she was going to forget them and just kiss Jason.

For several minutes they looked up into the deep blue velvet heaven with its powdered sugar dusting of Milky Way and there were indeed a spectacular number of shooting stars that crossed the sky in vivid, short-lived flashes of white light. The night breeze felt good on her heated skin.

Jason leaned up on an elbow to look at her. He didn’t say anything, just looked and she wondered for a second if you could drown in someone’s eyes. His felt like eternity just now and her worries of late were as if they’d never been. She’d been silly to worry anyway. After all, Jason was her rock. He always used good judgment. He’d never let her down and she always knew it was safe to lean on him. She really wanted to kiss him again.