Fall On Me (3 page)

Lee popping that kid out with Kyle perched
between her legs waiting to catch her was something my eyes could
never un-see. The demonic screams that had come out of her mouth
were something my ears could never un-hear and I wished like hell
he would change his fucking car and stop driving the maternity
merc. I would never look at a Mercedes the same way again–or a
vagina.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Lee crooned as she
bobbed around with Hope in her arms.

"How'd you escape the guard?" I joked, trying
to lighten the mood. If it was any other person I wouldn't bother,
I wouldn't try to look normal and…stable. But this was Lee. She was
as delicate as a flower.
Poor girl.

Lee grinned. "I locked him in the bathroom."
She turned to Hope and cooed. "That's right, isn't it? Momma locked
your poor daddy in the bathroom."

"Nice," I chuckled. Lee had turned my
hot-headed, temperamental best friend into a ball of mush. Kyle was
whipped by the leading woman in his life. He bent over backwards
for his two girls and damn straight he should.

After the way he had treated Lee in the
beginning of their relationship–lying, cheating and generally being
an asshole–I was surprised as hell that she'd forgiven him. She had
a forgiving heart though and it belonged to Kyle. The proof of
which was hanging on her left hand in the form of a huge
mother-fucker diamond. Yeah, he was also an over the top
bastard.

Lee sighed heavily. "I swear, Derek, half of
the time I feel like I'm drowning inside. Everything is upside
down. I'm confused and scared. We have to be so careful around
everyone and Kyle freaks out if I move too far from his side. I
shower: he's there. I freaking pee and he's outside the door
shouting 'take a sample, princess,' or 'don't lock the door,
baby.'" She bit down on her lip, clearly thinking of a plot I
wanted no role in. "I understand why he's over-protective, I mean
of course I understand, but I'm worried about him. Do you think you
could maybe have a word with him? Ask him to relax a little? I'm
scared he's going to wear himself out."

I raised my brow and gave her an 'are you for
real' look. "And you think he'd listen to me if I did?"

Lee chuckled softly. "No, probably not. He's
as stubborn as a mule."

That was for sure. I'd known Kyle since we
were teenagers. He'd been a hell-raiser then, doing whatever the
hell he wanted, surviving on his wit and gut feeling. If he thought
he was right, there wasn't a person on this planet that could talk
the guy down. In the almost five years I'd known him, I'd only
witnessed one person tame the beast. And that person was standing
in front of me, holding his baby-spawn.

"He is who he is, Lee." I poked Hope in the
belly and was rewarded with a huge gummy, one-toothed smile. "He
needs control. It's just his way. Life knocked him on his ass as a
kid and the guy just gets back up and keeps swinging. His
intentions are good. It's his execution he needs to work on. He
might have more cash than half of Boulder now, but the dude is
street at heart. Rough rearing like that doesn't produce the most
tactile people."

"It's not his past that bothers me," she said
quietly. "I love him more
because
of what he's been through.
What bothers me is the fact that I'm becoming too attached to him
being with me all of the time and when he leaves I'm a wreck. I'm
too dependent on him, Derek. Most nights I can't even think about
going to bed until he comes home and even then he's only downstairs
working. I'm craving him all of the time. I'm missing him as we
speak. That's not normal. A woman isn't supposed to depend on a man
that much, right?"

I smirked at her anxious looking expression.
Poor girl was clueless. "That's not dependency you're feeling,
sweetheart." I tapped my finger against my temple. "That's love.
It's an evil, crazy bitch. Screws you right over."

She seemed to ponder that over for a moment
before smiling. "Who's the psychologist now, huh?"

"Funny." I smirked. "Is he still pushing you
on the whole Brady bunch, 'love your mommy' idea?"

I'd to bite back a smile when Lee actually
growled. "Yes," she hissed. "He is like a dog with a bone. And in
this instance he needs to keep that bone away from his bitch."

"Did you just call yourself Kyle's bitch?" I
asked not even trying to hide my grin.

"I meant it in a hypothetical way," she
blushed. "As in…Oh never mind. I suppose you agree with him?"

"That you should make up with your mom?"

Lee nodded stiffly. "Yeah, do you agree?"

"No," I told her. "I actually think Kyle
pushing you to talk to Tracy is about the dumbest thing he's done
in months." I'd told Kyle that very same thing but the idiot
wouldn't back the hell off. I was team Lee on this one. Tracy had
spent a year with Jimmy Bennett. Lee had eighteen of them. Didn't
take a genius to figure out who'd gotten the shorter end of the
stick. "It's your choice, ice. No one can blame you for being
wary."

"It's more than wariness, Derek." She paused
to place a kiss on Hope's head. "I can't stand her," she confessed.
"And I know that's a terrible way to feel because she saved my life
when she gave me her kidney. But every time I look at Hope." Lee
bit down on her lip as she shook her head in disgust. "Every time I
look into my daughter's eyes I remember what Tracy did to me and I
am consumed with anger. I feel betrayed and abandoned."

"I don't blame you for feeling like that," I
muttered. Lee was dealing with the biggest fucking shit bomb of all
of us.

She'd been shot twice. Had been in a coma for
weeks, only to wake up and find out that her best friend was dead.
Worse again, the mother she'd believed to be dead actually wasn't
and wanted to play happy families with her. And her dumb as fuck
fiancé was all for it.

Lee was dealing and Kyle was pushing her. I'd
warned him on enough occasions of what would happen if he pushed
that girl too far. I was surprised as hell that she hadn't run
screaming from Boulder. God knows I would if I was her. Shit was
fucked up around this neck of the woods.

"That's because you know how it feels," she
replied. "To have your whole world pulled out from under your feet.
To be utterly betrayed and then to be expected to forgive and
forget because of some redeeming, heroic act that wasn't in your
power to prevent."

"Do you think it will ever go away?" I asked
knowing Lee would understand my question.

"I think in time it will become manageable,"
she replied. "I think it will become easier. But no, I don't think
missing Cam will ever completely go away."

Chapter 2

Mr.
Carter

Kyle

"How fast can we get this done?" I asked
Kelsie Mayfield, my attorney, as we stood in front of the
timber-framed, ranch style house on South Peak Road. The place was
incredible, hidden well from the road and had more security than
fort knocks. Fucking perfect. I thanked my lucky stars the
owner–some highflying corporate monkey with a fondness for slot
machines–needed a quick sale. I didn't consult my conscience when
it came to the safely of my girls. His loss and stupidity was my
gain. Their protection was paramount to me.

"I'll get right on it, Mr. Carter," Kelsie
said as she pushed her glasses higher on her nose. "The owner says
he'll be out before Christmas. You should have the keys by December
at the latest. I'll have the paperwork drawn up and the fee
transferred immediately."

"It has to be sooner," I muttered in
irritation. Lee had been home three weeks and I wanted her out of
that hotel room. Since she was still refusing to step foot inside
our house in Thirteenth Street–and Christ, I didn't blame her–I'd
decided on a belated birthday gift. A house. The one in front of me
to be exact. I figured she'd like it. It kind of reminded me of
her. Beautiful and untouched by the outside world with an air of
loneliness…

Besides, this would be a positive move for
both of us. After spending the last three weeks living in a hotel
room with a five and half month old baby I was starting to get
antsy. Not to mention the fact that I needed her safe, somewhere
away from the city and the drama. She needed to recover and I
needed the peace of mind of knowing that she wasn't being harassed
by reporters every damn minute she walked out the door. She'd been
through enough and I sure as hell wasn't going to let anything else
happen to her.

Lee Bennett ruined me the moment she walked
through my door–all hips and curls–and continued to ruin me every
day since.
Ruin me and drive me insane in the process.
Having spent a little under two years of her life with me Lee had
more scars and wounds on her body than when I'd met her. I'd let
her down more times than I could count and she still remained by my
side. That Friday afternoon three weeks ago, when the doctors had
finally allowed me to take her home after twelve weeks in hospital,
was one of the best days of my life. It was the day Lee Bennett had
finally
agreed to marry me. After months of asking–and being
turned down–she had said yes. I made her a promise that day that I
would never let her down again. I'd made myself a promise that day
too. I vowed to myself that I'd never let her go, not after coming
so close to losing her.

Twice.

I almost lost her last Christmas when she
miscarried one of our twins. It had nearly killed her. But the
second time was so much worse. Lee had been the target of an
unhinged woman intent on taking her life in her pursuit of
me
. I often wondered how she could stay with me. She had
never–not fucking once since she'd opened her eyes in that hospital
bed–blamed me for what had happened to her. I didn't understand the
girl. Rachel Grayson had murdered her best friend Cam. She had very
nearly cost my daughter her mother. And me? Rachel had almost taken
my entire fucking world away from me. Lee had been shot in the
stomach and kidney back in June and it was a goddamn miracle that
she'd survived.

We both knew I was to blame. I'd known Rachel
had a problem. I'd seen the warning signs and I'd ignored each and
every one of them until it was too late. Yet all Lee had done since
she'd woken up was look up at me with those big, trusting gray eyes
and thank me for being such a good father to Hope. If she'd been
awake and had seen the way I behaved after the shooting I doubt
she'd thank me so much. My behavior had been disgraceful. The days
that followed the shooting had been the first in my life that I had
given up hope. Truly given up on living. It had taken my
sharp-tongued hotel manager, Linda, to remind me of who the hell I
was and how I didn't give up on anything, no matter how bleak
things seemed.

Of course Linda had been right–she usually
was–and our lives were slowly returning to normal. I was trying my
best not to smother Lee, but it was difficult for me to let her go
anywhere on her own. She was fragile and vulnerable and dammit the
girl was too important to me. If I had my way I'd lock her away
somewhere safe where no one could touch a hair on her head again. I
got the fact that she needed her independence–her life back, but my
blood pressure rose every time she went off on her own. Although to
be fair I always knew where to find her.

The cemetery.

It was the only place Lee went without me and
I felt like crap that I wasn't able to take her as often as she
needed. Because it was a need for Lee–a comfort.

I was still pretty fucking annoyed about the
whole bathroom incident yesterday. I had to meet with our lawyer to
discuss Rachel's latest letter and had freaked out when Lee
suggested going to visit Cam on her own. She went anyway and locked
me in the bathroom so I couldn't stop her–for two fucking hours.
When I'd eventually picked the lock and made it to my attorney's
office, Derek had text me to let me know where she was and why. I'd
felt like the worst piece of shit on this planet for not
remembering the date. October 06
^th
: Cam's birthday. I'd
seen the desperation in Lee's eyes–heard it in her voice when she'd
begged me to let her go–and I'd refused to listen…

Personally I didn't understand how she could
sit in that place for hours on end chatting to a slab of marble. I
missed Cam–thought about her every day–but I knew she was gone. I
knew she wasn't under that earth and she couldn't hear my
words.

I'd said my goodbyes when I'd pulled back
that sheet and exposed her lifeless body. I'd prayed for her and
cried for her and then I'd locked that shit up and kept on going.
It wasn't about me being insensitive because I fucking cared. I
cared and I grieved like everyone else, maybe not in the same way,
but I did. It was about me accepting the fact that death was death.
It was final. There was no phone signal or Wi-Fi wherever the hell
Cam was now. She couldn't hear us and I couldn't change a damn
thing. That might be a cold way of thinking, but it was my way. I
lost my mom to suicide when I was three years old and I'd spent
enough of my childhood praying to a black sky and getting no
response. It helped Lee to talk to Cam though and I wanted to give
her what she needed, but I didn't want her going anywhere without
me. I knew that sounded selfish, but the girl was my heart. If
anything else was to happen to her and I wasn't around…I'd lose my
mind.

I fully acknowledged I was being a possessive
asshole. There was no point in denying the truth, but my behavior
was driven by love and fear. If it had been Lee sitting at my
bedside for weeks–not knowing if I would live or die–I reckon she'd
be a lot more understanding of my protective nature. I'd watched
her struggle as she re-trained her body to do the things that had
always come easily and it broke my fucking heart.