Fall To Pieces: Broken #2 (The Broken Series) (10 page)

It took a lot of my self-control, not to lean down and kiss that pout off her face. But I really didn’t want a repeat of the last time. I didn’t think I could handle another one of her rebukes.

“You’re adorable when you’re feisty
, princess. I like it. I like it a lot.”

Her jaw dropped, her lips curving into a perfect circle before snapping shut.

“I’m not trying to be cute. I’m furious with you, you should be afraid.”

I made a half-assed attempt at masking my grin. But it was hard to wipe the dopey grin off me face. I was so fucking happy that she was here.

Angry or not, she was here.

“Oh, you scare me
, princess,” I said. “You’re the only one, who has the ability to do that to me.”

I clasped her hand in mine. She pulled her hand away, and I pretended not to notice.
Stung like a bitch though.

“And why is that?” she demanded, glaring at me.

“Because you’re the one person in this whole damn world who can hurt me,” I replied honestly.

It was the truth, and it seemed to stump Lee.

We stood a foot apart, in the pouring rain, staring at each other, and I swear, she’d never looked more beautiful. Her eyes were wide and soul bearing. I could read every emotion she was feeling in those gray pools.

“Come on,” I said, clearing my throat. “Let’s get you out of this weather.”

I placed my hand on her lower back and guided her across campus, to the coffee dock.

She didn’t shake my hand off this time.

*****

Lee

I was the world’s biggest jerk.

Whether I was annoyed or not, Kyle didn’t deserve to be humiliated like that
, in front of a classroom full of his peers and professor.

I sat numbly in my chair, waiting on Kyle to return from the counter with our order. I couldn’t keep my mind from drifting back to what he had said
.

‘You’re the only one in this whole damn world who can hurt me.
’

Kyle had a way with words. I couldn’t believe everything he said.

That was the rational side of my brain, thinking. My heart, on the other hand, was banging around frantically in my chest. 

“I got you a decaf, because…Well, you know,” Kyle muttered, placing a cup of black, decaffeinated coffee in front of me.

I smiled as graciously as I could, eying his strong kick-ass mug of coffee.

Men had all the luck in the world.

“Thanks,” I muttered, adding a sachet of sugar to my mug and a good dollop of milk.

Kyle slid into the chair opposite me and picked up my spoon, to stir his coffee.

“So was there an emergency? Or were you just pissed with me in general?” he asked, unzipping his coat and tugging it off.

My gaze drifted down to the fitted black sweater he was wearing. The rain had soaked through his coat, and his sweater was molded to his chest, emphasizing every sculpted muscle…

“There was at the time,” I muttered, dragging my mind out of the gutter and my lowering my eyes from Kyle’s body. “Now I feel kind of stupid about it. I was over dramatic.” 

He chuckled, and I felt his fingers nudge my chin upwards. “You’re pregnant, princess. You can be as overdramatic, as you want.”

His blue eyes were snaring me, and I had to look away or I’d be in trouble.

More than I already was.

“I need to go back to work, Kyle,” I urged. “I’m smothering inside the house. I have to earn a living. I have things to pay for; I have stuff I need to get for the baby.” 

Kyle sighed and clutched my hand in his. “You don’t need to pay for a damn thing, Lee, not a penny. You…The baby, I will provide anything you both need. Let me take care of you, of both of you.” 

I shook my head, at a loss.

He’d paid for enough.

Kyle had taken care of my hospital bills, and the letter that had arrived in the post the other day, confirmed that I now, miraculously, had medical cover and not the cheap kind either.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that, Kyle.”

He clutched my hand tighter, stroking my palm with his thumb. “You’re not supposed to say anything, baby. This is what I’m here for. You know I have the money, I’ll pay for my responsibilities.”

“I’ll pay for my responsibilities.”

Disgust filled me. I jerked my hand away and stood up quickly.

“Wait, Lee, I didn’t mean that the way it came out.”

I shrugged on my coat, buttoning it quickly.

“I know what you meant, Kyle.” I wrapped my scarf around my neck with a vengeance. “Why don’t you just say, you’ll pay for your mistakes? That’s how you really feel. Well, I don’t want your money; I never have and never will. I am not Rachel. I was never with you
, for what I could get.”

*****

Kyle

Someone should buy me a muzzle. Maybe then, I wouldn’t put my foot in my mouth so often.

“Lee,” I called out, chasing after her.

She quickened her pace, breaking into a run, she hurried across the quad.

Running away from me, again.

I caught up with her and clasped her arm. “Lee, baby, listen, I know you’re upset, but the ground is slippery. It’s too dangerous for you to be rushing off like that.”

She stiffened at first and then slowly relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” I coaxed. “Just let me take you home, okay?”

Nodding stiffly, she turned around. Her nose was red, her eyes watery.

“It’s a cold, I’m not crying.”

I cringed, but kept my expression neutral. She didn’t want me to know how she was feeling. I could read her like a book though.

Right now,
she was feeling hurt, raw pain…and it hit me like a bulldozer to the chest.

“Well, let’s get you out of the cold, before you freeze.”

I took her hand for the second time, and for the first time today, she didn’t pull away.

“I’m so mad at you, Kyle,” she whispered as we walked, so quietly that I wasn’t sure, if she meant me to hear.

I squeezed her hand tightly. “I know, baby.” 

When we reached the parking lot, I stopped and leaned against a shiny, black Mercedes Benz, as Lee walked past me.

Noticing I wasn’t beside her, she turned and frowned.

“What are you doing, Kyle? I’m pretty sure you could get arrested for touching that beast,” she warned, walking over and pulling on my arm.

I grinned sheepishly. “I probably could, if it weren't mine.”

Her mouth fell open as I opened the passenger door and gestured for her to get in.

Lee gaped at me, and I smiled.

It was cute, that she was so surprised I could own a car like this. I could own a car-lot full of them, and then some, but knowing she didn’t look at me with dollar signs in her eyes, made my heart swell.

She didn’t give a fuck about the money, and I hated that I had made her feel like I thought she did.   

“Get in the car
, princess.”

She sat in and I closed her door.

Hopping into the driver’s seat, I started the engine and pulled off. 

“So you got a new car, why?”

I glanced over at her. She was fidgeting nervously. It didn’t settle well with me.

“I needed to change.” I hoped she heard the unspoken meaning of my words. “You look well today, princess. Are you feeling okay?”

I wasn’t sure what the correct terminology was, for complimenting a pregnant woman’s appearance, but she looked so much more than ‘well,’ and ‘good.’

Lee was sexy, undeniably
, fucking sexy, and that swollen belly, knowing I’d done that? Well, that made her irresistible to me.

“Yeah, I’m doing well. I still get morning sickness sometimes, but it’s less often, than before. Apparently, it eases up for some women during the second trimester, so fingers crossed.”

She was still getting sick? Was that normal? Fuck, did she need a doctor?
Jesus, I was clueless.

“And the baby?” I asked quietly, hoping like hell my voice stayed even.

She sighed happily. “Yep, he’s great. Dr. Ashcroft is really happy with him.”

My eyes jerked to Lee. “It’s a boy?” My voice came out all high and pitchy.

“No, I don’t know the sex, that’s just my own prediction. Cam thinks I’m having a girl, but he feels like a boy, to me.” She rubbed her bump. “It all makes a lot more sense now.”

I looked at her. “What does?”

She clasped her hands on her lap, twiddling her thumbs. “Why I was sick so much, before the miscarriage,” she said quietly.

I nodded
, unable to answer her verbally.

I hated that word.
Miscarriage.
It didn’t mean enough; didn’t voice the gut wrenching, soul shattering feeling of purloined life. How could one word, define the stolen, loss of human life?

But what Lee said, made a hell of a lot of sense.

She’d been sick, vomiting on and off for months before the miscarriage. If I’d had half a brain, I would have guessed she was pregnant, or at the very least, considered that she could have been.

The first night I’d made love to her, I’d been careless, and had ended up taking her virginity
, as well as getting her pregnant.

I hadn’t used a condom.

Not that I was regretting getting her pregnant, just the fact that I should have protected her.

I’d known better, she
hadn’t.

I’d been rough with her, too, thoughtless and I had acted like a total fucking idiot afterwards. I’d been so wrapped up in my warped sense of duty to Rachel, so petrified of my feelings for Lee, that I’d let her down, in the worst imaginable way.

My jaw ticked, as I nodded towards her belly.

“I am so sorry, Lee. I should have known something was wrong with you. Should’ve figured it out before you…Before that happened. I should have fucking been there with you.”

I heard her sharp intake of breath and I focused on the road, waiting for her to answer.

I hoped I’d sounded calm. The last thing I want to do, was to upset her again, but she deserved an apology, and I owed her one.

She was silent for such a long time, that I thought she was going to ignore me, but then, she reached her hand towards me.

Her hand squeezed my knee, and that small gesture meant more than a thousand words.

I watched as a single tear slipped down her cheek.

“I don’t blame you anymore,” she whispered. “I know it wasn’t your fault.”

I didn’t realize how important it was for me to hear those words, until they came from her mouth.

I release
d a sigh, more like a choked sob.

Fixing my gaze on the road ahead, I blinked away the tears that were filling my eyes and covered her hand with mine, holding on for dear life.

The silent absolution that passed between us, was so simple, yet so profoundly comforting.

CHAPTER SIX

Lee

I was home two months-
two freaking months
-and Linda still hadn’t rostered me back to work. I’d tried on numerous occasions to sway her, but she was standing over Kyle’s orders.

It was an absolute joke.

Loads of pregnant women worked to full term. I was only twenty-eight weeks; I had plenty of time before the baby came, and an even pathetically larger amount of time to waste.

Being cooped up in the house like I was on my last legs, was not winning Kyle Carter any brownie points.

I spent most of my days cleaning the house, and vacuuming up dog hair.

I was bored out of my mind and lonely. I was also incredibly
, irritated with my housemates; all three of them, no exceptions.

Derek was being his usual smart-assed self
, and I swear, if I heard one more ‘preggers,’ or ‘got milk,’ joke come out of his mouth, I was going to lose it.

I knew his jok
es were good natured, but at seven months pregnant, I didn’t have my usual patience with him.

And Cam’s mood swings were impressive, to say the least. If she wasn’t smothering me, cooing over me like a mother hen, she was screaming her head off at Derek, and accusing anyone who came within a ten mile radius, of something outrageous.

Cam was behaving as if she was the one with the pregnancy hormones, and I was actually beginning to find her suggestive comments about mine and Mike’s friendship, both gross and offensive.

Cam and I had been friends our entire lives, and in all my life, I had only ever been with Kyle. She knew that.

So, for her to imply that I was messing around with Kyle’s brother, while carrying his baby, showed how much mass she had in my moral fiber.

Just two nights ago, when I got back from dinner with Mike, she’d practically accused me of cheating on Kyle, with him, which I found ridiculous for two reasons.

The first being the fact, that I wasn’t with Kyle in the first place, therefore, even if I was seeing Mike-
which I wasn’t
-it wouldn’t constitute as cheating.

And the second; Mike had mentioned to me, that he was seeing someone, which as far as I could gather, was getting pretty serious. Mike still wouldn’t tell me who his girlfriend was, but my money was on the new girl in house-keeping he spoke about.

The other night when we grabbed a bite to eat at a diner downtown, Mike had droned on and on, for over a half an hour, about how funny this Karen girl was, so I figured she was a prime candidate for his heart.

She’d started working at the hotel around the time I had my miscarriage, which, conveniently, was around the same time Mike started dating his mysterious lady.

I was secretly delighted that he was into her so much; it made our friendship so much easier, less controversial.

And of course, Kyle was doing what Kyle did best; avoiding me.

After our talk in his car the other week, I’d hoped that we were getting places, solving some of our issues, but, nope, I’d been wrong, again.

Two days after our talk, I had broached the subject of going back to work, in my foolish assumption that,
Kyle, was a conciliatory person.

He had shot me down without listening to my argument, which in turn, had elicited an even bigger argument.

A lot of stuff was said, mostly by me, and we hadn’t spoken more than a handful of sentences since.

I guessed he was giving me
space,
but by avoiding me, he was just making this living arrangement unbearable.

I knew why he was keeping his distance, which, at first, had made me feel bad, but now just aggravated me. I was feeling guilty, and I was mad at Kyle for making me feel guilty.

Maybe I was clutching at straws, but I needed to hold on to my anger. I wasn’t ready to forgive and forget. Or maybe I was, and I was angry with myself for giving in too easily.    

Out of sheer loneliness, I’d phoned my father yesterday, to check in.

Daddy had been happy to hear from me, and was recovering well from his heart attack, in November. Most importantly of all; he had sounded sober.

We hadn’t spoken for long, just a couple of minutes, but those few minutes had given me a little peace of mind.

To be honest, I’d needed the comfort of hearing his voice.

It was a crazy thing to need, after eighteen years of hell, but Jimmy Bennett was the only family I’d ever known. As insane as it sounded, I’d needed to hear my father’s voice.

My life had changed so much in the past year that I needed the anchor of familiarity.

*****

I’d spent most of the evening outside, scooping up Bruno’s poop, and sheer boredom had induced me to pulling weeds and dead-heading the limited shrubbery in our back garden.

By the time the
watery, April sun, went down, I was feeling icky and gross, and smelled a little funky. I needed a shower. I truly did.

Pressing my ear against the door of the downstairs bathroom, I could hear Derek belting out the chorus of ‘LMFAO’s Sexy and I know it.’

He’d been in the shower for over forty minutes, and considering he’d already performed two renditions of ‘Take another little piece of my heart;’ I figured he was only warming up.

“What are you doing?” Cam asked, as she rounded the corner of the hall.

I blushed, and moved away from the bathroom door, hovering awkwardly. “Nothing, I was just checking if Derek was nearly done.”

Cam sighed, and shook her head.

Grabbing my hand, she pulled me towards the stairs. “Come here, I need to show you something.”

Following Cam, I shuffled up the stairs, freezing to the spot
, when she put her hand on the door knob of the upstairs bathroom.

“Cam, I can’t go back in there,” I whispered horrified.

I couldn’t. I never wanted to step foot inside that room again and see those tiles, that toilet bowl…I backed away to the far side of the hallway, my back pressing against the cool, steel door knob.

“Lee, you know I love your bones, but you need to get a grip on this
, and face your fears. Come on, this is for your own good.”

“I am not ready to go in there,” I snapped, anger boiling to the surface. “Back off, Cam.”

“You are acting like a baby, you need to get a grip,” she said impatiently, stepping towards me. “You have to face this and move on. Just go in there and stop being so ridiculous. The bogeyman isn’t going to jump out of the toilet, Lee.”

“My life fell apart in that bathroom, Camryn,” I screamed, my body heaving in panic. “I collapsed on those tiles, experiencing more pain than a human body should, as my unborn child bled out of my body in clumps of blood. How I felt that night…You have no idea what that feels like, so don’t you dare judge me.” 

“And that, is exactly why you need to get your ass in that room, so you can get over it.”

Cam moved towards me and grabbed my hand, just as the door I was leaning against swung inwards.

Stumbling backwards, a pair of strong arms caught me under my arms and broke my fall.

Kyle turned me in his arms.

“Shh, baby, I got you,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around me protectively.

“What the hell are you doing, Cam?” he growled, while he rubbed my back tenderly.

I sagged in his arms, and held him just as tightly.

“I can’t go in there, Kyle,” I sobbed, tucking my face into his chest.

“She needs to get over this, Kyle,” Cam screamed. “She was sneaking around downstairs, waiting to use my bathroom. It’s ridiculous. She’s needs to get a hold on this grief. I’m trying to help her.”

I felt Kyle’s arms tense around me. “She can use whatever the hell bathroom she wants.”

The steps of the stairs creaked, as Derek bounded towards us, with a towel wrapped around his waist, and pink shower cap on his head.

“What the hell is going on?” he panted.

“Shut up, Derek,” both Cam and Kyle shouted, not taking their eyes off each other.

“Kyle, this isn’t healthy,” Cam started to plead, but Kyle interrupted her. 

Tucking me into his side, he pointed a finger at Cam, glaring violently.

“And what the hell do you think
, forcing her into that room will achieve?” he asked. “Do you think it will automatically wipe the slate clean?” Kyle shook his head. “You don’t know shit, Camryn, so keep your fucking self-righteous tactics to yourself. You don’t force Lee to do anything, you got it? No one does.”

Cam shook her head in disgust. “Fuck you, Kyle. I was the one who sat with her, day in, day out. I know what I’m doing. You…You are babying her, treating her like a child. She isn’t made of glass, she needs to face this.”

“I was there, too, Cam,” he snarled. “Every fucking night, I never left. So don’t pull your condescending bullshit with me.” 

“Guys, please stop fighting,” I begged. “Please, just stop arguing. I can’t…I can’t.”

My voice cracked, tears blurred my vision.

Kyle responded to my pleas by tightening his arms around me. “It’s okay, baby. We’re not fighting. There’s nothing
to worry about.”

“See,” Cam said in a high pitched scream. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. This…Mollycoddling, it isn’t healthy.”

“Jesus, Cam,” Derek snapped, moving forward. “Stay out of it. Their relationship has nothing to do with us.”

“Oh, you would take his side,” Cam hissed, as she started to cry.

“I’m not taking his side,” Derek said calmly. “I’m making an unbiased observation, babe, and you are out of line.”

“Fuck you both,” Cam hissed. “She is my best friend. I know what’s good for her.”

“You don’t know shit,” Kyle shot back.

“Fine,” I screamed, half choking on my tears.

Pushing away from Kyle, I staggered towards the bathroom door and flung it open.

“Does this make you feel better?” I screamed stepping inside.

My stomach lurched, and I dove for the toilet, vomiting excessively.

Kyle rushed to my side and held my hair out of the bowl, until I stopped retching.

Lifting my head, I looked straight at Cam, who was standing, pale faced, in the doorway.

“Did I pass your test?” I spat, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “Am I fixed now?” 

Cam shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Lee, god, I’m…I was wrong.”

“Damn
, fucking straight, you were wrong,” Kyle snarled, as he helped me up. “She is seven months pregnant, Camryn. Do you think this is good for her, or the baby?”

“Kyle,” Derek said quietly, coming to stand next to Cam. “Back off dude, she knows. She’s sorry.”

“I’m sorry, Lee,” Cam cried, before turning on her heels and rushing away.

*****

Kyle

Fury, pure fucking rage was coursing through my veins. I needed to hit something. I needed to break something.

Ignoring her protests, I lifted Lee into my arms and carried her into my room. No fucking way, was I letting her out of my sight. Not now, that Cam had lost her damn mind.

“Should I call a doctor?” I asked, as I sat a trem
bling Lee down on my bed, and moved away to lock the door.

“No,” she whispered. “I’ll be alright. It was just the shock.”

“I can’t believe she did that,” I muttered, rooting in my wardrobe for some clean clothes. “Cam’s lost her damn mind.”

Passing Lee an old red t-shirt, I turned my back so she could change, and rummaged around for some sweats.

“Maybe she had a point,” Lee whispered. “I mean, I think I get what she was trying to do.”

I jerked my head back to stare at Lee, standing next to my bed, dwarfed in my shirt.

“No,” I said as calmly as I could. “Nobody is going to do that to you. Do you hear me? I won’t allow it.”

“Kyle,” Lee sighed.

Sitting on my bed, she played with the hem of the shirt I’d given her.

“I’ve been home with over two months, and for the most part, I’ve been afraid to even walk
, too close to that door. Cam was wrong in trying to force me, but she right in what she said. It isn’t healthy. I’m not dealing.”

I shook my head, trying to take in what Lee was saying. “So, what are you saying? Do you feel
, like you need to see a therapist, or something?”

I crouched down in front of her, placing my hands on her knees. “Whatever you need, baby, you tell me and it’s yours.”

“Maybe a new bathroom?” Lee joked, cracking a smile. “But seriously, I need to take a shower, and I think I need to go in there, and just…deal.”