Fall To Pieces: Broken #2 (The Broken Series) (25 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

Lee

There was a moment, a brief
, selfish, flittering moment when I saw the small timber cross engraved with Cam’s name, and a part of me wanted to crawl into the ground beside her.

Kyle’s tight grip on my waist was the only thing keeping me from collapsing.

All he’d done, good, bad and downright stupid, had been for me.

I could see that now.

But the thought of my beautiful, brave best friend, lying cold in the ground, was crushing the air out of my lungs.

It could have been me.

It should have been me.

Cam wasn’t supposed to die;
I was.

Rachel had orchestrated everything so perfectly.

She’d been watching the house, had known I’d be on my own.

If Rachel’s plan had gone to par
, it would be me in that grave.

But Rachel hadn’t anticipated Cam.

Cam…

My breath caught in my throat. My body shook violently.

I didn’t bother to wipe the tears away, they deserved to be shed. Cam deserved my tears.

She’d protected me my whole life, and was lying in a box
, under six feet of earth, because of my inability to protect myself.

I knew it wasn’t my fault, or Kyle’s.

But it didn’t stem the feelings of guilt and responsibility.

From the moment I’d woken up and Kyle had told me Cam was dead, all that had gone through my mind was that it should have
been me.

I was beyond grateful that I’d survived.

Hope needed me.

But the unfairness and anger I felt over
Cam’s stolen life, ate through my heart, blackening it with nothing but the sense of vengeance.

“Hey
, Cam,” I sniffed taking a step forward, before sinking to my knees.

“Princess,” Kyle said, moving towards me quickl
y, but I held up my hand to warn him off.

“I need to do this.”

Kyle nodded, and took a respectful step back, giving me privacy.

“I still can’t believe this has happened to you,” I cried.

“It’s not fair. You’re so young, so beautiful. You’re my best friend Cam, what am I supposed to do without you? What’s Hope going to do without her Auntie?

“
We had so many plans, remember? You were going to take Hope shopping for her first training bra. Help her to pick out her prom dress. Laugh at Kyle’s reaction when Hope went on her first date, and now I’m going to have to do all of that alone.”

I wiped my eyes and nose.

“Why did you do it, Cam?” I whispered.

That was the answer I needed more than anything.

Why had she valued my life more than hers when she stepped in front of that loaded gun?

I asked the question, knowing the answers were buried with my best friend.

I trailed my hand over the upturned earth of her freshly dug grave, and pulled the tiny silver bird charm from my pocket.

“Do you remember when you gave me this?” I asked her.

“I was twelve, and you gave it to me the day you came to tell me you were moving away.”

Sniffing, I rolled the charm between my fingers.

“I asked you why you were giving me a bird charm, and you said…”

I paused, catching my breath. “You said that you ‘d always envied
the freedom of a bird, and as long as I kept that charm close to me, no matter what happened in my life, no one could clip my wings.”

With trembling fingers, I placed the delicate charm beneath the cross.

“So Cam, today I want to return your wings. Fly pretty girl, soar and be free.” 

I stood slowly, accepting Kyle’s hand.

“Goodbye, Camryn Frey. I’ll love you forever.”

*****

“Did it help?” Kyle asked as we drove back to University Hill.

I looked over at him.

His face had taken on a few worry lines, but his eyes were alive, so full of life that it shook my heart.

“I think so,” I said quietly. “But I know something you could do that would definitely help.”

Kyle clasped my knee, squeezing gently, as he drove. “Name it. Whatever you want, just name it and it’s yours.”

I covered his hand with mine, reveling in the feel of his warm flesh.

I sucked in a deep breath before I spoke.

“I think you should repeat the question.”

Kyle jerked his face toward me, eyes wide.

I felt a tremor run through his hand, as his throat bobbed.

Slowing the car to a crawl, he veered off to the side of the road. Killing the engine, he unclipped his belt and turned his body to face me.

“I don’t think I should
, princess,” he said quietly.

His voice was gruff, thick with emotion. “You’re grieving, and I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re vulnerable.”

He stroked my cheek my one hand, clasped my hand in the other.  “And truthfully, I don’t think I could bear the thought of you agreeing for the wrong reasons. I love you, I’m not going anywhere. I can wait for your answer.”

Unclipping my belt, I pulled my knees under me and grabbed his face.

“Well, I can’t wait any longer to answer you,” I told him truthfully.

“I love you
, Kyle Carter…I have loved you from the moment you handed me that shot glass in your kitchen. I was lost, lonely and confused. And you were cocky and slutty and arrogant as hell, but something inside of you called to me, and I couldn’t keep away.”

I smiled and stroked away a tear from his face. “You’ve made me laugh,
you have made me cry, you have made me mad as hell sometimes, but I wouldn’t change a single second of the time I’ve spent with you.

“
I’ve never known the love of a man before you, and I never will again, because, for me you’re it. To me, you are everything.

“I am not asking you to ask me out of guilt, or grief. I am asking you to repeat the question because I don’t want to live another seco
nd of my life without joining my soul to yours. I’m only whole when I’m with you.”

I leaned in and kissed him lightly, before pulling back. “So ask me the damn question.”   

“Delia Rose Bennett.”

I wrinkled my nose at the sound of my full name
, which made Kyle chuckle.

“Sorry
, baby, but I gotta say it right for this, it’s important.”

I nodded my head, smiling through my tears as I urged him to continue.

“Princess, I have screwed up so many times in my life; it’s like second nature to me,” he said, stroking my hand.

“And to be brutally honest, I never cared before I met you. I was alone in the world and that’s the way I liked it. I screwed around a lot. Treated women like objects, used them as a temporary distraction from a lonely
, empty life. I never thought that would change and I was okay with that. Glad even. Until the night you stepped through my door and made me question every aspect of my life.”

He shook his
head and pulled me closer.

“You changed everything. Without even realizing it, you made me see how twisted and conceited my life was, and for the first time in my life I’d felt something.

“I had looked into the eyes of someone filled with such purity, such compassion and goodness, that I felt naked and exposed. I felt it the instant our eyes met. You have the ability the see into my soul, Lee, right through all the bullshit. I was hooked and couldn’t get enough. I wanted you with a desperation, bordering on insanity.”

He smiled and stroked my cheek.
“And by some small miracle, you wanted me too. I know I’ve fucked up enough times that I don’t deserve to ask you this. But I’m going to ask you anyway, because I’m a selfish man and want to claim your heart, body and soul, because, baby, you own mine.”

Kyle shook his head smiling as he jumped out of the car.

Coming around to my side, he opened my door before dropping down on one knee.

“Delia Rose Bennett. I want a life with you. I want to wake up with you in my arms every morning and hold you every night. I want my last name behind your first, and I want to be the reason your gray eyes sparkle.

“I want a lifetime of arguments and making up with you. I want to celebrate your happiness with you and console you through your sadness. I want to make lots of babies with you and raise them together. I want all of your kisses and I want to be the one to wipe away all of your tears.

“It’s pretty simple really, I just want you. I promise that I will love you more than anyone else, today and for every day that follows. You, our daughter, and any other children we have, will always come first to me.
You
will always come first. So please, please marry me?”

I threw myself into his arms with such a rush he fell back, landing on his butt.

“I want all those things with you, too. I want you, Kyle. Yes.”

*****

We sat there, on the side of the road, silently holding each other until our bodies were numb and Kyle’s cell phone beeped.

“It’s Linda,” Kyle muttered
, checking his text message. “She says that Hope is awake, and having a ball wooing all the staff.”

I smiled and rose from Kyle
’s lap.

“Reality beckons,” I joked climbing back into the car. Kyle joined me and started the engine.

“This is gonna be good, baby. You won’t regret this, I promise,” he vowed, taking my hand and claiming it with a kiss.

“I know.” And I did.

We had a long road ahead of us. Nothing would be smooth and perfect. There was still so much hurt and sadness, so many unknown elements.

We still had to deal with Rachel’s murder trial, my mother’s return from the grave, Kyle’s meddling father
, and all our own insecurities and doubts.

But for the first time, in what felt like forever, I had a plan, a map for my future.

And all roads led to Kyle Carter.

******THE END******

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Firstly, I owe a huge thank you to everyone who took the gamble and bought Break My Fall, especially those wonderful readers who contacted me with feedback and kind encouragement.

When I published Break My Fall online it was on a whim and I had no expectations for it whatsoever. I am both stunned and overwhelmed by the success of Kyle and Lee’s story. I never in my wildest imagination dreamt it would be so successful, (If I had I would have proofread it). Oh the shame, I still cringe.

To those who were invested in the first book: I hope Fall to Pieces was worth the wait -and you guys get a little closure.

To my Facebook followers: Ladies (and gents) you are incredible. I had a few moments (several) after Break My Fall was released when I was tempted to throw in the towel and not finish the series. But your kind comments and love of the story kept me going. Truthfully girls, I couldn’t have done it without you, so thank you for your patience and extreme kindness.

To my wonderful
parents, Johnny and Michelle, thanks for the support and the life, guys.

To my
friends and family who supported me by reading the book and surprised me further by actually liking it. Thanks a million guys, especially Kathy and Val for driving the book forward on ole bookface and Karen, Aunty and Aisling for listening to my rants. I really appreciate it.

To the wonderful ladies in the book club I was invited to speak at:  I gratefully appreciated your support, advice and positive feedback.

I have a lot of friends who I couldn’t live without, but one in particular whose support and hands on help while writing Fall To Pieces was invaluable. This girl was my lifesaver during my writing process and is by far the world’s best babysitter and friend. Karen Coughlan, my gratitude to you is endless. A million thanks buddy.

And last but not certainly not least to my husband John, and my wonderful kids: Thanks for the patience guys. Mammy will put the trampoline up a.s.a.p. Sorry for the delay.