Fallen (33 page)

“Are you?” I
demanded
.

He drew in a breath and
clapped his hands in his lap
,
as if he were going to be here for a while.
“There are various ways souls can return to earth,
Magdalene
.
In ghostly or silhouette form – as you’ve seen me – is
just
one of them.”

“So you’re not a messenger…
but
you return to earth in ghostly form
…
”

“That’s right.” He was staring at me, waiting for me to piece it all together, which was taking
an
infuriatingly
long time.

“And you return to earth…when?”

“Only to see you.”

He admitted this so readily
and
without any
reservation,
causing me to glance
up at him. His smile had faded
,
and he wa
s watching me with a
deep interest
.
Our eyes met and I felt my pulse quicken
; although
, I couldn’t bring myself to look away.

“Really?” I whispered, incredulous
ly
.

“Really,” he replied softly.

I
had trouble
understand
ing
how this handsome, ethereal man would
purposefully
seek me out. Th
ere were plenty of other better-
looking girls to watch on earth. I never saw myself as
anything
remotely close to beautiful. My eyes were too large.

Still, here he was, the one I
daydreamed about
…
the one I
was always thinking of,
admitting he thought about me too
…at
least, on occasion.

Reality hit me, realizing exactly
when those occasions were.

“Oh,” I said, hating how my voice sounded bashful. “You come to earth to save me.”

“Yes,” he confirmed
. “Now why would I come to earth only to find you and only to save you?”

I gasped
,
instantly feeling ridiculous.
I closed my eyes and felt my body cave
with embarrassment
. Of course…
the reason was so obvious I couldn’t believe I hadn’t
thought of
it sooner.

W
hen I opened my eyes
,
he had lifted his eyebrows in expectation.

“So? Would you like to say it out loud?”
he persisted.

“You return to earth in ghostly for
m when you think I need saving…because y
ou’re a guardian
.”

He smiled back
in his
breathtakingly attractive
way
.

“Did I figure it out?” I asked, waiting for affirmation.

It felt like a decade
passed
before he finally answered, though I’m sure it was only as long as it took for him to open his mouth and speak.

“No.” He shook his head
and then leaned
toward
me, so close his
sweet-scented
breath brushed lightly past my cheeks
. “I a
m
your
guardian.”

I stood
there
,
stunned
,
unable to
inhale
for far too long.

“
Breathe
,
Magdalene
,” he said with a smile. “Not that you really need to here
,
but familiarity with the basics is important in surprise situations.”

I drew in a breath, only slightly
acknowledging
that it
felt
good. “
Y
ou watch over me
…and
only me
?”

He nodded. “And that’s a very good thing. I don’t believe I’d have time for anyone else. You keep m
e
quite busy.”

“I do?” I asked, still too stunned to comprehend all of this. I
have
my own personal guardian?

“Far more so than anyo
ne I’ve ever guarded.”

“A guardian…” I whispered to myself. The surreal
haze I was lingering in was lifting;
I jerked my head up to catch his
eyes.
I needed his attention
,
because I wanted full disclosure.
“Why didn’t you tell me wh
o you were when we first met?”

“And make my job that much harder on me?” He scoffed.

“You didn’t answer my question.
”

“You were dead set against anyone protecting you, Magdalene. What would you have done if I’d announced I was solely there to protect you? Hmmm?”

Despite myself,
I had to agree.
I would have done everything in my power to get rid of him.

As if he
’d
heard my thoughts
,
he added, “You would have done your best
, irritating
me to no end
, trying
to ensure I wouldn’t show up when you needed me most.
That would have just frustrated me and it would have been
ineffective
.
You’ve perfect
ed
the art of pushing others away
,
and you would have used that art on me. I
won’t
let that happen.”

I believed him
,
and
regardless of
my harbored resentment at needing to be watched over
,
I was glad it was him
doing
the watching
.

He unclasped his hands and move
d
to place them on either side of his thighs. My hands happened to be in the same position and whether by accident or
by
design our hands
gently
brushed.

“Oh, my apologies.”

“
It’s alright,” I responded
,
a little too quickly. “
Your
skin
…
it’s
not hot here,” I
added
,
attempting to divert him
from thinking I enjoyed
the
contact
with him
a little too much
…
even though
it
was the truth
.

That was when
it dawned on me
that as our skin had made contact
;
I
would swear
he felt the same
surge of
excitement rush through his own body.
Though it
was brief
,
he quickly
returned
to his typical
indifference.

“
E
verything
here
is a fabrication
…
” he was explaining, “
including our bodies. On earth, there
are
…limitations
to
how we can project ourselves.”

He fell silent
,
scuffing the ground again with his foot. Even t
hough he seemed
calm
, I still had excitement running through me.
To
break the silence, I asked the first question that came to mind.

“
Are you always around me, with me
?
”

“When you need me I’m there – even if you don’t see me.”

“Were you there at the shanty?” I didn’t bother giving him any clues or hinting
to
which shanty. If B
attersbee had been right, Eran wouldn’t need any assistance.

He didn’t
answer right away
. Instead, he
repositioned his staff against the boulder. I got the feeling his action was
merely
to avoid looking directly at me.

“I was,” he finally admitted.

“Why? I wasn’t in an
y danger.
”

“No, you weren’t. But you didn’t know where you were going so you could have been.”

“I see.” My heart sank
;
his reasoning was perfectly understandable and had nothing to do with
wanting to be
near
me.

As if
he sensed this reaction,
he
started shifting
his feet
again
uncomfortably. The gravel beneath
them
made a loud scratching sound.

“
H
ave you always been around me? I only just started to see you…”

“
I think you saw me once
when
you were a baby…” His face twisted
,
appearing to be caused by a
painful memory. “I wasn’t able to save you then.”