Fallen (34 page)

My heart
stuttered
.
“
When I died…” I whispered
. He
nodded
in
confirmation, his eyes
focusing
on the ground
;
his gestures
giving me
the impression he felt guilty.
I didn’t like see
ing
him in pain
. It was odd
,
but I
also
felt his
sensation
of guilt
course through me
, like searing hot liquid
flowing
through my veins
.
I almost mentioned it
,
but held back.
I didn’t like that feeling
,
or the fact that I knew he
was feeling it
too
.
Trying to suppress these feelings,
I
briskly
changed the subject.

“You said there are other ways you can visit earth. What are those?”

He drew in a
deep
breath, trying to shake free from the emotions that seemed to
be overwhelming
him.
I felt them
begin to
dwindle in me
like a flame being snuffed out
,
as he
refocused his thoughts
.
“Umm
…well there are a few ways. We can be reborn…such is the case with you. We can go as a hot, white light and that is typical when you are filled with powerful emotions. And we can also
fall to earth.
Although any one of us can fall, t
hat is
often times
reserved for those souls who have committed a sin such as injuring
those on earth. Thankfully, they are rare because
those souls
can be powerful – often times bringing to earth with them some ability they had here and all too often using it against others.”

“Those souls end up on earth? Surrounded by people who can’t protect themselves? That doesn’t seem fair.”

Eran looked at me with a hinting smile. “That’s why guardians were created.”

“
Ah…
have
you always been a guardian? I mean
…
y
ou’ve been
to earth
a few times – once every century
in fact
– and during unstable times.”

He lifted his eyebrows
in astonishment,
so I
freely
admitted how I
figured it out
.

“I saw the list of your lives.”

“
I see,”
he replied, smiling to himself. It was obvious
he was flattered. “
Yes, I’ve lived a few lives, each one purposefully chosen during
those time periods.
I believe each soul is drawn to earth at specific times for specific reasons. Mine was to fight.”

“To fight?” I repeated, shocked
. “Why?”

“I was needed
,
Magdalene
. I told you…I appear when I am
needed
.”

I
felt
myself gawking at him, pondering how the word ‘altruism’ had taken on a
completely
different meaning to me now.
Some people might assume my act of delivering messages was altruistic on some level
,
but it was laughable in comparison to Eran’s actions. He risked pain
and
injury, even his
own
life
,
for others.

Uncomfortable
with my star
e, he
straightened his back
and
drew in
another long
breath
. Suddenly
,
his
exasperated
tone returned.
“So…now that you’ve interrupted my skills training, what can I do for you?”

“Oh…uh,” I stammered, breaking free of
his
striking
face
.
“That was skills training?”

“
It was
. Even us heaven-bound souls need to keep up o
u
r skills
,
so we train regularly with each other. It keeps us sharp. But I assume you came here for a different reason…other than to discuss my training.”

“
Yes,
” I said, noticing how much more handsome he looked now that I had seen him in action. “
I-I have a message to deliver.”

“To me?” he asked,
bewildered
,
catching me with his blue-green eyes again.

“Yes, it’s from
someone I know
at my school
,”
I
said
,
wondering if my heart would ever stop fluttering whenever our eyes meet. “
His name is Gershom. I don’t think you’d know him
.
Born
in my time. But he said to tell you that you should consider returning to earth.”

Eran was clearly
taken aback
.
“And you said his name is…Gershom?”

“Yes, he’s a friend of mine.”
I paused
, realizing
how easy it was to admit
,
despite what I
learned
about him.

“Did
your friend say how he
knew
me?”

“Just said he’d heard of you.”

“Heard of me? How…?” Eran asked more to himself than me
,
but I answered.

“
I’m not sure
,
but he knew your name and when you died last.”

Eran
sat transfixed
for a moment. When it didn’t look like he had any more questions to ask, I asked one of my own.

“Eran…is this…where you live?” I couldn’t imagine how this boulder-lined clearing could
offer
a comfortable existence.

He chuckled to himself but didn’t answer. Instead, he took my hand, drew me up, and led me across the clearing.
Again, my heart
throbbed when he touched me.
Because of it, my awareness was less on where we
were headed than
on
the feeling of his solid, protecting grasp.

I did notice though that b
y the time we’d taken three steps, the clearing was fading and
another place was taking shape
. It appeared
as if someone had tossed water on a giant canvas all around us and blended the two scenes together.

It was dusk here and everything was damp. The air
was chilly and
smelled
of freshly fallen rain. Overhead, clouds were
beginning
to clear and along the mountains patches of fog clung to the jagged
peaks
.

We stepped out
onto
a rutted wood dock with a small red boat tied to it.
On
our right, a brook bubbled down
and over rocks, flowing
into
an enormous lake behind us.
The dock was met by a muddy, dirt road
that cut
through a grassy hill
, leading
to a
log
cabin at the top.
The cabin was cloaked in
the
shade of giant ponderosa pines but with the hazy yellow lights inside
,
and smoke drifting up from the chimney
,
it
looked welcoming.
Two dogs ran
around the side of the cabin and bounded
down the
hill
toward
us.

“
This is
Annie and C
harlie,
”
said Eran
,
as t
he dogs
happily
circled us
,
rubbing against our legs until we reached down to pet them.

“French mastiffs,” he explained
,
just
as I was about to ask
what kind they were. “Got them during my time in
France
. They didn’t survive guarding my estate during the rebellion
,
but they were waiting for me when I
returned here
.” He watched
as the dogs
continued jumping
up to lick my face, unable to contain their
excitement
.

“Wow, it’s almost like they know me
!”
I said, laughing.

Eran
chuckled through his nose
, as if in response to a secret joke.

“
They’re sweet
,
” I said,
as I stood.

Eran appeared to appreciate this, smiling to himself as we headed
toward
the cabin.

I
immediately
felt
at home in Eran’s heaven.
In fact, it seemed oddly familiar somehow.
Without having to look,
I
already knew there was a
hammock hung between two pines and an
Adirondack
chair with a steaming pot of what smelled to be coffee set on the ground next to it
.
I also knew the layout of the cabin before I stepped foot inside. I couldn’t discern if this was because it was exactly how I saw Eran, rugged but comfortable, or if there was some other reason that evaded me.