Fallen Elements (22 page)

“This looks great.” Leah commented as she
began cutting into the tenderloin.

“Mine, too.” Ryan cut the lamb cutlet,
smiling when she saw it was cooked perfectly.

“What about your father, Ryan?” Leah asked as
she lightly peppered the risotto that came with her pork.

Ryan finished chewing one of the most tender
cuts of lamb she had ever had, and took a long drink of her wine
before answering Leah. “He and my mother divorced when I was three,
and the families didn’t get along; so I never really knew him.”

Leah frowned. “Where does he live?”

“Somewhere in New York, but he was never very
interested in me.” Ryan felt her throat tighten as she listened to
the words, realizing how terrible they must sound. “And my mother
and grandmother made certain my interest in him was kept to a
minimum.” Ryan cut another bite of lamb off the cutlet. “I don’t
even know if I have half-siblings or what he does for a
living.”

“What’s his name?” Leah asked, her brow
furrowed as she considered Ryan.

“Nathan.”

Leah nodded. “Have you ever wanted to get in
touch with him – you know, as an adult?”

“Not really.” Ryan paused as she weighed
whether she wanted to continue this line of conversation.
Ultimately, she knew she had started the family talk, and who was
she to deny Leah her questions? “I do know that my mother was
pregnant with me before they were married. I guess it was more a
marriage of convenience than anything else.”

“I think that happens more than people care
to admit.” Leah picked the nearly empty bottle of wine up, and
poured the last of it into Ryan’s glass. “Should we get another
bottle?”

Shaking her head, Ryan blushed. “I’m already
feeling hot, and I still have to drive back to the city.”

“Maybe I should take this one then?” She
reached for Ryan’s glass, and paused, waiting for the younger
woman’s consent.

“Please. Have at it. I’m clearly not used to
the effects of wine.”

“There’s no shame.” Leah grinned as she took
a drink from Ryan’s glass. “We’ll work on that tolerance of yours.”
She winked, and Ryan felt a skitter of heat shoot through her body
that had nothing to do with the wine.

Ryan had thought she might steer the
conversation toward Karen and Leah’s relationship. It seemed
natural given the topic of conversation, but Ryan’s courage had
faltered. The moment had slipped away, and Ryan was oddly relieved.
She selfishly wanted to cling to the fallacy that Leah was entirely
hers.

Leah held the bookshop’s front door open for
Ryan, and then walked in after her, the tinkling sound of the bell
spilling out into the night.

“How long have you owned the shop?” Ryan
scanned the bookshelves. She had been in and out of the space so
quickly before, she hadn’t taken the time to look closely at the
inventory.

“Marty and I bought it from the previous
owners about ten years ago.” Leah shut the door and flipped the
deadbolt.

“So this is the retirement plan?” Ryan
grinned, remembering her and Leah’s first conversation. She let her
eyes wander over the rows of books. In some cases, the leather on
the spines was so worn she couldn’t make out the titles.

“Part of it anyway. The shop is less than a
quarter of our business. Most of the work happens online with the
auction houses and private collectors.” Leah started toward the
rear of the store. “Come on back to the office. I can make us some
tea.”

Though the shop verged on cluttered, Ryan
felt cozy in the space. She followed Leah through the stacks of
books to a narrow wooden door that had been painted dove gray to
match the adjacent walls.

“Are the renovations done?” Ryan asked, not
seeing the plastic tarp anymore.

Leah cocked her head to the side, and then,
realizing what Ryan was referencing, nodded. “Oh, that’s right, you
saw that mess last time you were here.” She unlocked the office
door. “It’s all done. We just needed to have the subfloor repaired,
and then new hardwood laid over it.”

Ryan looked at the floor, but whatever work
had been done was now covered by the bookcases. “It’s –”

“Completely unnoticeable, and still as
expensive as hell.” Leah chuckled as she opened the office
door.

“Exactly.” Ryan laughed.

The office had a single window, and a door to
the right of the main entrance that Ryan assumed was either a
closet or a small washroom. The space was furnished with a tattered
leather sofa, a narrow wooden end table, a roll top desk with a
closed laptop on top of it, and a series of shelves lined with
books and papers.

“Earl Grey, right?” Leah was standing in
front of a small oak table that had a Keurig coffee maker and
several ceramic mugs on it.

“Yes, please.” Ryan stood in the doorway of
the office suddenly feeling nervous about being alone with
Leah.

“Go ahead and sit down. This will only take a
few minutes.” Leah nodded toward the sofa.

Raising an eyebrow, Ryan considered her
options as she crossed the small space. She was incredibly
attracted to Leah, and the idea of spending any time alone with
her, much less in the intimacy of a private office with a sofa, was
very appealing. At the same time, Ryan had never felt more
tentative about her feelings.

The reality was, in spite of her efforts at
the restaurant, she knew very little about the beautiful woman who
was now brewing her a cup of tea. They had connected almost
immediately, but there was always the undercurrent of Leah’s
history with Ryan’s family running between them. Something neither
woman seemed willing to address.

Initially Ryan had thought she was the only
one avoiding the topic. She had justified the willful ignorance by
convincing herself it was none of her business who Leah knew over
twenty five years ago. Now, given their recent conversations, and
Leah’s visceral reaction to Jenny’s prodding about Ryan’s mother,
Ryan felt certain Leah was avoiding the topic as much as she
was.

Ryan stood in front of the sofa, the office
smelling of Leah’s trademark vanilla scent. Fueled by wine and her
own natural curiosity, Ryan decided she needed answers. Ryan
suspected her sudden desire for candor had been triggered by their
brief conversation about her father and Leah’s family.

“Why did you stop being friends with Karen?”
Ryan had intentionally used her mother’s name. She needed the
impersonal nature of it to shield her from what Leah might say.

Leah’s hand paused over the small glass jar
that housed a stack of sugar cubes. Without looking at Ryan, she
answered. “We grew apart.”

“How, specifically?” Ryan sat down on the
sofa, and crossing her legs, leaned back. She was wading into this
regardless of Leah’s willingness to go along.

Leah turned around, the steaming cup of tea
in her hand. “Sugar?”

Ryan nodded her head. “Yes, please.”

Leah dropped a sugar cube into the hot
beverage, and handed the cup to Ryan. She sat down on a wooden
swivel chair in front of the desk, and ran her fingers through her
blonde hair. “God, I don’t know. School, schedules.” She looked at
Ryan. “Typical stuff.”

Ryan took a tentative sip of the tea, and
finding it too hot to drink, rested it in her lap, cupping the hot
ceramic mug carefully between her hands. “Why does my aunt hate
you?”

Leah laughed, but the sound was hollow. “I
think hate is a bit strong.”

Ryan recalled the two women’s interaction at
the cemetery. “No. She really hates you. I mean, Lucy is a lot of
things, but she’s rarely openly aggressive.” Ryan smiled, trying to
ease the tension. “It would be considered rude, and a social faux
pas.”

Leah nodded, her eyes focused on some unseen
spot in the distance. “You’re right. She
does
hate me.”

Ryan leaned forward and sat her tea on the
narrow end table next to the sofa. Resting her elbows on her knees,
she considered Leah for several seconds before continuing.
“Why?”

Leah stood up quickly. “Christ, Ryan. You
should ask her.”

Ryan didn’t move as she continued to watch
Leah closely. She was determined to finish the conversation. “I
wouldn’t believe her.”

Leah crouched down in front of Ryan, her eyes
scanning the younger woman’s face. “But you’d believe me?” Leah
barely whispered the words as she laid her hand on Ryan’s knee.

Ryan’s throat tightened, the heat from Leah’s
hand moving up her thigh and into the pit of her stomach. She was
having difficulty swallowing, much less thinking and speaking. She
couldn’t remember when her longing for Leah had begun. She only now
found herself in the middle of it.

Ryan reached for Leah. She placed her hands
on either side of Leah’s neck, gently pulling her closer. Leah
leaned forward, resting her hands on either side of Ryan’s hips.
Leah’s light green eyes met Ryan’s blue ones, their lips inches
apart.

Ryan felt as if she was poised on the edge of
something she hadn’t realized she was waiting for. It felt
astonishing and terrifying at the same time. Her heart was pounding
in her chest, and she felt like her blood was on fire. The blaze
wasn’t one that scorched, but one that lit her from within.

At last, there was an urgency in both women
as their lips met. A gasp escaped Leah at the first touch of Ryan’s
tongue to hers. Pushing Ryan against the back of the sofa, Leah
straddled the woman, her fingers entwining in Ryan’s short brown
locks.

Ryan ran her hands under the back of Leah’s
sweater. The heat of her skin rippled through Ryan’s hands and up
her arms. Leah pulled back, and cupping Ryan’s cheek with one hand,
gently stroked her hair with the other.

Ryan turned her head to the side and leaned
forward, resting her head between Leah’s breasts. The nearness of
her caused Ryan’s breath to catch. Leah wrapped her arms around
Ryan, clutching her tightly. Then Ryan shifted, laying Leah down on
the sofa.

Ryan’s head was spinning and every inch of
her body felt warmed by a million points of heat. Leah pulled Ryan
down, their lips meeting again as their hands freely roamed over
and under each other’s clothing.

While running her hand under Leah’s sweater,
Ryan’s mouth licked and sucked at the supple skin along Leah’s
neck. Something akin to electricity shot up Ryan’s arm as she
cupped and massaged Leah’s firm breast through the silk fabric of
her bra.

“Ryan. Wait.” Leah managed through gasping
breaths.

Leaning back, her own breath coming in short
spirts, Ryan looked confused. “Are you okay?”

Leah placed her hand on the side of Ryan’s
neck, her touch suddenly cool and soothing against Ryan’s heated
skin. “
Too
okay. We need to slow down.”

Ryan frowned, and shifted so she was kneeling
between Leah’s legs. “Why?”

Leah smiled, propping herself up on her
elbows. “I don’t usually move this quickly.”

The idea of Leah doing this with another
woman made Ryan feel nauseous and foolish at the same time. “I
don’t either.” She lied. Ryan wasn’t untethered when it came to
sex, but she rarely got to the point she and Leah were at now and
decided to put on the brakes.

“Then you understand?” Leah shifted and slid
her legs from around Ryan. Sitting up, she ran her fingers through
her tousled hair.

Ryan felt pouty as she sat next to Leah. She
wanted the woman more than anything, but she understood Leah’s
hesitation. They hadn’t really talked about a relationship or even
the fact they were attracted to one another. Not to mention Ryan
still didn’t fully understand Leah’s connection to the rest of her
family.

“You’re upset with me.” Leah took Ryan’s hand
in hers, the coolness from moments ago replaced with the woman’s
usual warmth.

Ryan flattened her hand out, and pressed her
palm into Leah’s. “Disappointed.” She looked out of the side of her
eye at Leah, a faint smirk on her lips. “Mostly for you.”

Leah’s brow shot up. “Why’s that?”

Ryan leaned over so her shoulder was touching
Leah’s. “Because I am
really
good at what you just stopped
from happening.”

Catching Ryan’s more upbeat mood, Leah
wrapped her arm around Ryan’s waist and put her lips to Ryan’s ear.
“I’ve got more years of practice.”

It was nearly ten o’clock at night, and it
had started misting. After circling for ten minutes, Ryan resigned
herself to parking four blocks over from her house, and mucking
through the rain. She jogged back to her house, feeling hopeful
about her and Leah’s chances at making a go of it.

Rounding the corner, Ryan’s eyes narrowed.
There was a black Lincoln Town Car double parked in front of her
house, its lights on. Frowning, she trotted up the front steps, and
before opening the door, she could hear the sound of Carol’s
laughter.

“Ryan!” Carol was sitting on the couch next
to Greg. Seeing Ryan come through the door, she hopped up and
rushed toward her cousin.

“Carol?! What are you doing here?” Ryan
wrapped her arms around the elated woman.

“We thought we would surprise you.” Lucy’s
voice came from the kitchen as the woman rounded the corner.

Ryan’s eyes widened. Her aunt was the last
person she had expected to see. “Aunt Lucy, ah – wow. You’re here –
in my house.”

“Try not to overwhelm me with enthusiasm,
Ryan.” The woman leaned in and quickly kissed her niece on the
cheek. “We’re here. Let’s not make a big deal about it.” The
sarcasm practically dripped from the woman’s lips.

Lucy was wearing a pair of black slacks, a
purple cardigan duster that fell to just below her knees, and a
black shell. The myriad of platinum and diamond jewelry that
adorned the woman, along with the fact she looked as if she had
just stepped out of a salon, was in stark contrast to the less
ornate appearance of her surroundings.