Fallen Elements (38 page)

Ryan’s heart felt as if it were pounding in
the back of her throat. Carol had been like her sister. She had
confided everything to her, trusted her more than she trusted
herself sometimes. Now, she was losing her.

Carol laid her napkin on the table, and stood
up. “I love you, but I won’t pretend for the rest of our
lives.”

Ryan got up, and hurried around the table.
“Who’s pretending? I just want you to hear the truth.”

Carol pointed at her, a gesture that reminded
Ryan of Lucy. “You mean your truth. The one that paints our –
my
family as vicious murders. No!”

Carol grabbed her purse. “And so you know, I
may not be able to get the police involved, but you know all too
well our family has been managing those –
things
for
millennia.” Pulling the leather strap of her purse over her
shoulder, Carol made for the door.

“Carol, wait.” Ryan walked quickly to catch
up with Carol, not sure what she was going to say.

Pausing at the door, Carol took a deep breath
before turning to face Ryan. “What?”

Ryan stood in front of her cousin, shoulders
slumped. “Please don’t do this.”

Carol’s expression softened. The harshness in
her eyes gave way to compassion, but only for a moment. “Tell Leah
to watch her back.” Carol meant to storm out, but seeing the
confused and hurt expression that covered her cousin’s face, she
stopped. “You don’t know where she is, do you?”

Ryan hadn’t wanted to share this with Carol.
She knew it was unreasonable, but Ryan felt something akin to shame
over Leah abandoning her. “I – she –”

Carol shook her head. “Wow. My mother was
right about that too. She is a coward, and she runs at the
slightest sign of danger or when she might have to own what she
is.”

Ryan couldn’t bring herself to defend Leah,
and that alone made her sick with regret. Her feelings about Leah
leaving her were still too raw, and a toxic mixture of hurt and
anger; so she held her tongue.

“Goodbye, Ryan.” Carol’s voice cracked, and
tears streamed down her face anew.

Ryan only managed a weak nod as another woman
she loved left her.

Epilogue

“Are you game for another drink?” Donnie
asked Ryan. The two were sitting at a high top table in Boston’s
North Star sports bar. The bar was located in the West End, and it
was still early enough in the evening that Ryan could actually hear
her boss over the background noise of the bar.

“No thanks. I think I’ll head back to the
hotel.” Ryan was in Boston for a conference on renewable resources
and their utilization in food and housing welfare programs. She was
pleased to have been selected for the trip as it was indicative of
the confidence both Donnie and his seniors had in her.

It had been over a year since she had last
seen Leah, and she had been grateful for the distraction work
offered. In that time she had been able to institute three new
initiatives around affordable housing, and had improved several
existing programs, including the Healthy Kids, Healthy Schools
program.

Ryan felt her phone buzzing in her back
pocket. “Excuse me, Donnie. I’m going to take this outside so I can
hear.” The man smiled and nodded, his attention focused on the
Orioles and Yankees game playing on one of the twenty flat screen
televisions that hung around the bar.

“Hey! How are you?” Ryan exited the bar, and
stepped out into the cool night air of Boston. The bar sat along a
well trafficked street, and Ryan had to dodge several pedestrians
before reaching the edge of the sidewalk.

“Hey yourself, maid of honor.” Nicole gushed.
“Just a heads-up, I’m sending you pictures of dress samples to look
at, so check your email in about a half hour.”

Ryan smiled. Greg and Nicole had become
engaged three months prior, and in spite of Ryan’s initial
apprehension about being in the wedding party, Nicole had won her
over by promising Ryan could have her pick of dresses.

“You’re not sending me anything with ruffles
right? I don’t
do
ruffles.” Ryan joked.

Nicole laughed. “Jesus, do you think I got
engaged and went stupid?
I
don’t do ruffles. That’s Greg’s
thing.” Ryan heard noise in the background, and Nicole yelping. “I
was kidding! Get off me!”

Though Ryan had been surprised to find out
her two friends were dating, and had nearly fallen over when they
told her they were getting married, she couldn’t remember seeing
either of them happier than they were together.

The three friends had agreed that Ryan would
move out of the row house. She wanted to stay in the Canton
neighborhood and had been looking for a house to buy for close to a
month. To Nicole and Greg’s delight, Mrs. Grady had offered to sell
them the row house Nicole and Ryan currently shared, and for a
small percentage under the appraised value.

Much to Ryan’s surprise, Nicole hadn’t told
Greg about Ryan’s inheritance. It wasn’t until they were discussing
the housing situation that it even came up. Greg had been, like
Nicole, unfazed by the news. Ryan had been so encouraged by his
reaction, she had asked Greg if he could recommend someone in his
firm to help her with the liquidation of several of the
properties.

“Several?” Greg had asked one afternoon as
they all sat around watching TruTV’s
World’s Dumbest Inventions
13
.

“Five.” Ryan had taken a drink of her Natty
Boh. “I want to use the proceeds to start and fund a series of
halfway houses along the East coast. Specifically for families. A
lot of times when one parent loses their job, the family is
separated because of gender restrictions in shelters.”

Ryan had thought of how Leah’s family had
struggled, and she shuddered to think of how many more families had
met the Brewers’ fate because of her family. The network of houses
seemed like a start to offsetting the centuries of damage.

“I can arrange for you to meet with Ben
Kelly. He’s an estate attorney, and a nice guy.” Greg had arranged
the meeting the next week. Over the next seven months each of
Ryan’s houses had been sold, and trusts established that supported
ten shelter houses from New York City down to St. Augustine,
Florida.

Ryan had been thankful for the intricacy
involved in setting the trusts up, and determining managers for
each. The selection of the cities that would house each shelter had
been a process of identifying where the need was the greatest, and
either building or buying houses in each market. All of this,
though terribly important, was also a welcome distraction from the
hurt and grief she continued to struggle with.

After Leah disappeared, Ryan had tumbled into
the worst sadness she could have imagined. She had hardly ate or
slept for weeks. She had managed to maintain her work and little
else, though there were days she had wanted nothing more than to
stay in bed and sob uncontrollably.

Nicole and Greg, through kindness and
eventually tough love, pulled her up and out of her funk. She had
not been a gracious patient, and looking back, wondered why they
had tolerated her sullen, hostile attitude.

Eventually though, Ryan found her way back to
something akin to her old self
.
She had been so miserable and racked with sorrow,
but in the end, life had pushed its way back into her heart. She
had even worked up the interest and courage to start dating again,
and though she held no illusions to finding someone as remarkable
as Leah, Ryan took credit for at least getting back out into the
world.

Ryan had come to accept
that she was now two women. One was excited and involved in the
world around her. Someone who was helping her best friends plan
their wedding, and someone who was making her way through the
pitfalls of professional life to make a difference in the world
around her.

Then there was the other
woman. One desperate and confused by the loss of a love –
the
love. Ryan was less
fond of this person, and spent a tremendous amount of energy
concealing her from the world. This other woman did take comfort in
the hope that someday she might step to the other side of her
despair.

Ryan hung up from Nicole and slid her phone
back into her pocket. Turning back toward the bar, her attention
was drawn to a familiar face in the crowd. Leah’s friend Pam,
talking on her phone, passed directly in front of Ryan.

When Marty had refused to tell Ryan where
Leah was, Ryan had found Pam on the internet. She had hoped the
woman would give her some clue where Leah might be, or at least
tell her if she was okay. Ultimately, calls and emails were left
unanswered, and Ryan realized Pam’s loyalties, rightfully so, laid
with Leah.

Glancing through the plate glass windows of
the bar, Ryan could see Donnie sitting at their table typing on his
phone, and sipping his Dewar’s and water. Not wanting to lose Pam
in the crowd, Ryan pulled her phone out as she followed behind
her.

I need to head back to the hotel. Nothing
too serious, but I need my laptop to send a few emails. See you at
breakfast in the morning. Night.
Ryan quickly texted Donnie,
and then fell into step several yards behind Pam.

As best Ryan could tell, the woman hadn’t
seen her. She seemed thoroughly engrossed in her conversation and
unaware, even now, that Ryan was following her. Pam walked south on
Friend Street, crossing over New Chardon Street. Looking ahead,
Ryan could see the woman was walking toward the T station at
Haymarket.

Am I going to be the person that follows a
practical stranger home, and then accost her in her doorway
demanding she tell me where a woman I haven’t seen in over a year
is?
Ryan paused at the station’s entrance as Pam disappeared
down the stairway.

You bet your ass I am.
Resolved to see
her interaction with Pam through, Ryan trotted down the steps.
Grateful Donnie had talked her into buying a three day T pass, Ryan
swiped the thin paper card at the turnstile, and followed Pam onto
the orange line train.

Ryan sat near the opposite end of the train
car. There were less than twenty people in the car. Ryan was
anxious Pam would see her if she sat too close, or worse, Ryan
might lose sight of Pam if she lagged too far behind.

In the end, Ryan watched Pam closely from a
safe distance, and with several other commuters in between them.
Ryan’s concerns seemed moot as Pam had ended her earlier call and
was now texting with little regard for her surroundings.

After two stops, the train slowed, and an
automated woman’s voice announced the train was arriving at the
Sullivan Square stop. Pam glanced up at the scrolling display, and
gathering her purse, exited the train. Ryan waited as long as she
could before exiting, nervous the car doors would close and she
would lose Pam.

Ryan maintained a safe distance as Pam left
the station. Ryan wasn’t familiar with this part of Boston. She
pulled her phone out, and its GPS informed her she was in the
Boston suburb of Somerville. Pam walked up Perkins Street for two
blocks before turning right on Mt. Pleasant Street.

The street was lined with row houses, some
having been converted into multiple unit apartments while others
remained single family homes. Ryan would classify the neighborhood
as older, but well maintained. It reminded her of her neighborhood
in Canton.

Pam walked up the stairs to a modest, gray
house with slat siding, and a chain link fence in front of it. Ryan
stood across the street and down several houses, her heart was
pounding, and she was trying to think through what she wanted to
say to Pam to convince her to tell her where Leah was.

After nearly ten minutes, and deciding she
had nothing to lose if Pam told her to piss off, Ryan walked across
the street. Her legs felt heavy as she walked up the stairs.
Pausing, she took a deep breath before pressing the pewter button
for the door chime.

A series of bells rang inside the house,
followed by a click and then the door opened. Ryan’s breath caught.
She had expected Pam to answer, but instead, Leah was standing in
front of her, wearing a pair of dark jeans and a snug fitting black
V-neck t-shirt.

Both women looked at each other, neither able
to speak. “Leah, who is it?” Pam’s voice came from somewhere inside
the house.

Leah, visibly shaken, swallowed before
speaking. “It’s Ryan.”

A moment later, Pam was standing behind Leah.
“Ryan. Hi.” Pam looked at Ryan, a faint smile on her lips as she
turned to Leah. “Shouldn’t you invite her in?”

Ryan’s brain was beginning to catch up with
the rest of the world, and she managed to speak. “I saw you –” She
looked at Pam. “I saw you down on Friend Street.”

Pam frowned. “You followed me all the way
here?”

It wasn’t lost on Ryan that Leah had still
not spoken to her. “Yeah. Sorry.” Ryan didn’t know what else to
say.

“Well, come in.” Pam pushed back a still
clearly stunned Leah, and took Ryan’s hand. Ryan and Leah’s
shoulders touched as Pam was ushering her through the door. The
spark of heat that Ryan had spent so long trying to forget shot
through her. She felt a tightness pushing at the back of her
throat.

“Shut the door, Leah.” Pam guided Ryan out of
the entryway, and into a small sitting room to the left of the main
hallway. The house was simple. It had oak hardwood floors, the
walls were painted a pale blue and adorned with a myriad of framed
artwork. The scent of musk and sandalwood wafted over Ryan as Pam
offered her a seat.

“Would you like a drink? Coffee, tea –
bourbon?” Pam grinned as she emphasized the latter choice.

Though Ryan was tempted by the calming effect
the bourbon would no doubt have on her frazzled nerves, she thought
it best to keep her wits about her. “Water would be fine.”