Fallen Elements (39 page)

As Pam exited the room, Leah stepped into the
doorway. She was as beautiful as Ryan remembered. “You cut your
hair.”

Leah ran her fingers through her short blonde
tresses. “Oh, yeah. About four months ago.”

Ryan nodded. “I like it.”

Leah chewed nervously on her lower lip.
“Thanks. You – you look good.”

“Thanks.”

Pam came back in with two glasses of water.
She handed one to Ryan, and sat the other one down on the small
round end table next to Ryan. “If you two need anything, let me
know.”

Leah narrowed her eyes at Pam, and the woman
shrugged before leaving the room. Ryan heard footsteps, and assumed
Pam had gone upstairs.

“I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” Ryan
took a tentative sip of her water, wishing Leah would actually step
into the room instead of just lingering in the doorway.

“I’ve been staying here for about six
months.” Her tone was efficient with no emotional undertones. Ryan
was reminded of their exchange in Leah’s house before they made
love for the first time. The memory of being with Leah sent a bolt
of heat to Ryan’s stomach.

“Where had you been bef –”

“Look, Ryan.” Leah interrupted. “I don’t want
to go through all this again with you. I’ve made my peace with what
I did, and with us. I wish you could be mature enough to do the
same.”

Leah’s words hit Ryan like a slap in the
face, and she had to push past her anger and hurt before she could
speak. “I don’t believe you.”

Leah exhaled loudly, and finally stepped into
the room, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “I don’t know
how many ways we can have this conversation before you start
listening to me?”

Ryan stood up. “At least once, since we never
really
discussed it. You left me a crappy note that had all
the warmth of an IRS audit notice, and disappeared.”

Leah’s eyes narrowed. “I knew from the
conversation the night before you didn’t understand what I was
dealing with, and never would.”

Ryan sat back down, and crossed her legs. “I
didn’t realize among your many powers you could also read minds.”
The sarcasm flowed freely, driven by a year’s worth of hurt and
anger. “And I almost forgot – telling the future, if you just
knew
I could never understand.”

Leah hesitated, clearly choosing her words
carefully. “I – I deserve that, but it doesn’t change anything. And
you’re still not listening to me.”

Ryan stood up. “I’ll start listening to you
when you tell me the truth, and stop lying about how you feel and
what you want.” Her tone was tight, but Ryan managed not to raise
her voice.

The muscle in Leah’s jaw jumped. “I’ll admit
that when I left my house that morning I was a wreck. I could
barely look at myself in the mirror, and I was already miserable
without you.” Leah took a breath. “But it got better, Ryan.
I
got better.”

Ryan fought back the tears that threatened to
overwhelm her, desperately needing Leah not to mean what Ryan
thought she was hearing. “Then – you, don’t –”

“I’m not in love with you anymore.” Leah said
flatly. “I haven’t been for a while.”

Ryan felt as if she had been punched in the
stomach. She sat down in the chair, the room spinning. The tears
that had been threatening to break free finally did, and Ryan
struggled to breathe as the hopes she had clung to for the past
year shattered.

Leah’s expression was calm. She didn’t make a
move to comfort Ryan as the younger woman sat crying. “Take as long
as you need.” Leah turned and left the room abruptly.

Ryan clutched at her stomach, nausea causing
her to double over in pain. A warm hand was on her back, and Ryan
looked up, hopeful it was Leah.

“She’s lying to you.” Pam’s voice was low and
intimate as she sat down next to Ryan. “She’s been a wreck since
she got here. I can only imagine it was worse before.”

Ryan wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her
shirt. “She said –”

Pam rolled her eyes and sighed. “Look, I
understood where she was coming from, but now – after watching her
be so miserable without you – I think she’s just wrong.”

“But why would she say those horrible things
to me?” Ryan cringed.

“She can be a shit when she gets things stuck
in her head.” Pam offered. “She lost so much when she was younger,
and so cruelly. She’s scared, and convinced that what happened with
your aunt, uncle and cousin will always be between you two. I’ve
known her a long time, and –” Pam looked pensively at the
ceiling.

“She had made so many promises to herself
about how she would, and
would not
use her power, to have to
use it to end someone’s life is nearly more than she can bear.”

Ryan reached for the glass of water, and took
a long drink. “Where’s her room?”

Pam smiled, and patted Ryan on the back.
“Good form. Up the stairs, first door to the right.”

Ryan got up, still feeling shaky from the
emotional onslaught she had just weathered. “Thank you.”

Pam nodded. “Good luck.”

Ryan didn’t think luck would have anything to
do with it. Emboldened with the knowledge that Leah still loved
her, or at least didn’t actively hate her, Ryan would not let Leah
side step the conversation that was a year in the making.

Ryan climbed the stairs. It was only after a
car alarm began sounding in the distance that she realized she had
been standing with her hand resting on the door handle of Leah’s
bedroom for nearly a full minute. Ryan’s mouth was dry. She squared
her shoulders, determined that fear would not make the decision
whether she opened the door or not. Hope was opening the door.

The room would be considered small, if not
for a small recessed nook lined with three bay windows. The oak
wood floor accenting the light sage paint on the walls opened the
space up, and a full size bed sat flush with the wall farthest from
the door. Ryan was immediately aware of Leah’s familiar vanilla
scent as it permeated the space, and she fought the urge not to
take a deep breath.

Leah was sitting in a high back, overstuffed
leather chair in the nook. Her feet were resting on a broad leather
foot stool. Even in the dim lighting of the room, Ryan could see
Leah had been crying.

Screw your courage to the sticking place,
and we’ll not fail.
The quote from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, which
Ryan had read her freshman year in college, skidded across her
mind. Ryan slowly sat down on the foot stool, careful not to touch
Leah’s feet.

“I want you to leave.” Leah sniffled, her
eyes red and swollen.

“I know you do. I know how hard this is, but
the last year has been harder. The years stretching out in front of
us without each other – those will be harder still.” Ryan
swallowed, the sour feeling in her stomach threatening to overwhelm
her.

“I can’t get past you. I try, but no matter
what I do – throw myself into work, philanthropy, going out with
friends – hell, I’ve even tried dating – you’re always right
there.”

Ryan saw the arch in Leah’s brow when she
said she had tried dating, and in that second knew for certain Leah
still cared for her. Bolstered by that fact, Ryan placed her hand
on Leah’s ankle. She couldn’t help but gently squeeze the soft
skin. The heat from touching Leah, and the euphoria of being near
her again, caused Ryan’s head to swirl.

Leah’s shoulders relaxed. Closing her eyes,
she exhaled loudly as she rested her head on the back of the chair.
After a few seconds, she opened her eyes, and looked directly at
Ryan. “I can’t get past you either. When I left you, after our last
night together, I hadn’t imagined the misery that awaited me.”
Leah’s voice caught as she struggled to speak.

“Then what are we doing this for?” Ryan
gushed. “Don’t you see, the losses, the deaths are all for nothing
if we end up apart anyway? If that happens, my family wins, and the
stakes are too high for me to concede.”

Leah sat up and wiped at her tear soaked
cheeks. “What happened will always be between us. I can only
imagine what Carol must be going through.” Leah looked down, her
otherwise beautiful mouth twisted into a deep frown. “She must hate
me after what happened, and she’d be right to want revenge.”

Ryan shook her head. “If that’s the path she
chooses, then so be it. It happens whether we’re together or not;
so why not be together?” Ryan moved her hand from Leah’s ankle to
her knee. “I told you once, you’re someone I can’t just forget. I’m
going to love you even if I never see you again. Time, distance –
it doesn’t stop me loving you.”

Ryan closed her eyes, trying to bring her
frenzied thoughts into focus. “I grew up with Carol. She isn’t her
mother.”

A pained expression shot across Leah’s face
as her brow furrowed. In that moment a simple truth revealed itself
to Ryan. It was perhaps something Leah herself wasn’t even aware
of. “Leah – I’m not my mother either.”

A sharp sob escaped Leah, and she flung
herself forward into Ryan’s arms, burying her face in the side of
the younger woman’s neck. “I know! I know! I was just so afraid
after the horrific way Karen behaved, and then that horrible night!
How could you
not
hate me?”

Leah’s warm tears ran down Ryan’s neck as she
shared her deepest fears. “I couldn’t survive if you turned on me
too.”

Ryan leaned back, her eyes searching Leah’s
distraught face as she wiped the woman’s tears away with her
thumbs. “That will never happen. I’m here, and the furthest thing
from my mind is murdering you.”

Leah managed a short laugh at Ryan’s attempt
at humor. “Why would you make a joke about that?”

Ryan leaned in and kissed Leah on the cheek.
“Because some things are so ridiculous that all I can manage to do
with them is make fun.” Ryan was attempting to stay calm, but
inside she was practically cartwheeling as the tension between her
and Leah was diminishing by the second.

Leah took Ryan’s face in her warm hands, her
voice pleading and hoarse from crying. “I’m so sorry. I was so
hateful towards you, and that awful note.” She looked intently into
Ryan’s eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

The two women’s foreheads touched as Ryan’s
hands rested on either side of Leah’s neck. Both women were crying,
but the fear and hopelessness were no longer there.

“I love you.” Leah whispered as she closed
the space between Ryan and her. Their lips touched, and the
security, warmth and love Ryan had always found with Leah surged
through her.

“I love you.” Ryan spoke the words against
the heat of Leah’s lips. Her breath mingling with the woman she
wanted to, needed to, and would spend her life with.

Ryan felt a strength begin to course through
her. It tore the past year of loneliness and grief apart, revealing
a clear space for the joy she had so longed for with Leah. She felt
as if her life was beginning over. Separate from the past, she and
Leah were about to write their own story.

Also by Heather McVea:

Waking Forever Series

Waking Forever #1

Ela: Forever #1.1

Becoming Forever #2

Dying Forever #3

Waking Forever Trilogy

Waking Forever Omnibus

Short Story

Turn Darkly

Excerpt from the short story
Turn Darkly

“Do you know why I’ve pulled you over today?”
The sheriff’s eyes were hidden behind a pair of mirror lensed
Ray-Ban Aviator sunglasses, and the brass name tag on the right
side of his uniform shirt read
Swinnea
in block
lettering.

“I was speeding.” Regan Andrews had never
been one to meander; so she had learned a long time ago it was best
not to insult the officer’s intelligence by feigning ignorance.

“Seventy six in a seventy mile an hour zone,
young lady.” The man was in his late forties; his gray hair was
cropped short, and neatly combed to the side. His polyester blend
brown uniform looked stifling in the West Texas heat.

Regan grimaced. “I guess this hotrod got away
from me.” She ran her hand over the faded blue steering wheel of
her 1971 white Volkswagen van and smiled at the officer.

Without looking at Regan, the sheriff flipped
his black leather notebook open, and clicked his pen. “License and
insurance.”

Clearly the officer was in no mood for
banter, and Regan resigned herself to a ticket. “Sure. I’ve got
them right here.”

Leaning over, she pulled her insurance card
from the glove box, and after digging around in her beige canvas
backpack, she fished her brown leather Fossil wallet out. Removing
her Texas driver’s license from the inside sleeve of the wallet,
Regan flashed her most charming smile as she handed the sheriff her
papers.

Without a word, the sheriff took the
documents from Regan, and walked back to his cruiser.
You think
he would be desperate for human interaction out here.
Scanning
her surroundings, Regan thought the arid, flat plains of West Texas
seemed almost alien in their sparseness. Minus the ominous blue and
gray hues of the mountains jutting out in the distance, the flat
plains reminded her of the Mars Rover photos.

“Where are you headed, Ms. Andrews?” The
sheriff suddenly appeared at the driver’s side window, and Regan
jumped in surprise.

“Oh, I’m - I’m going to Howell.” She took her
driver’s license and insurance card from the officer.

“Howell? What business do you have there?”
The man’s tone verged on accusatory.

“I’m an astronomy doctoral candidate at
A&M, and I’ve booked time at Addison Observatory.” Regan
thought that regardless of loneliness, the man was in need of human
interaction. His small talk skills were terrible.

“Then you’re going
through
Howell.
You’re
staying
at Addison.” The man curtly corrected Regan
as he handed her the leather notebook. “Sign at the bottom. You’re
being cited for excessive speed. You can pay the fine via the
instructions at the bottom of the ticket, or appear in traffic
court on the assigned date.”