Fallen Idols MC - Complete (12 page)

FOUR

SAWYER

The look in his eyes scared me. Chilled me down right to the bones. “What do you mean, they think he is?”

“You’re both half Mexican. Las Almas is trying to claim that half as theirs.” 

I shook my head in disbelief. My mother was a hundred percent Mexican, and my father was a blond haired, blue eyed white boy. They were total opposite ends of the spectrum, but the love that they had for each other showed no boundaries. And their blood ran navy blue, the color of the Idols.

Cruz and I might be part Mexican, but Las Almas and everything they stood for would never be a part of us, or anyone I loved. “He’s not one of them,” I finally said.

Ryder smiled, and my heart melted. “I know, and that’s why I did what I did.” I understood it. Sometimes, to save the ones you loved, you had to go to extremes. Still, I didn’t have to like it, and I sure as hell didn’t have to agree with it.

Ryder rested his hands on the back of his head, and spun around. The silver linked bracelet I got him when were sixteen slid up his forearm. My heart clenched at the sight. He still wore it.

“Five years,” he finally said. “For five years, I’ve thought about what I would say to you, if I ever saw you again.”

“I thought you had nothing,” I spat.

“You and I both know I always have something to say.”

“So say it.” I gulped down the fear. There were so many things he could say to me. Most of them would be downright hurtful and cruel and…I deserved every single one of them.

“That’s the thing. For once, I don’t know what to say. When I found out a few days ago that you were back, it took all I had not to come pounding on your door, demanding an explanation. And now…I don’t want one.”

Tears pricked my eyes, and my throat burned. “Why not?”

“Because you’ve been back for a few days, and the only reason you’re standing here right now is because of Cruz. You don’t give a shit about me.”

His words stabbed deep, and pulled up, gutting me from the inside out. I tried to convince myself that was the truth, but I couldn’t erase our lives together. You don’t exactly forget your first love. There was too much history. He knew me better than anyone. Better than my friends. My family. Myself.

“That’s not true,” I finally said and stepped toward him, refusing to let him think that I didn’t care. Time was nonexistent with us. Five years or twenty years, it didn’t matter, because the truth was, I would never stop caring about him. Tears pooled in my eyes, but I forced them back as I glanced up at him.

His eyes locked with mine, and he ran a finger down the curve of my jaw. Chills shot through my neck and down my spine. “I want to believe you,” he said, resting his forehead against mine, his lips mere inches from my own.

I wanted so desperately to close the gap, and press my mouth to his. Remembering how just a kiss from him would soak my panties, and wanting to feel that connection we always had. I looked up and touched my lips to his.

He stood there, hard as a rock, and I realized how colossal of a mistake that was. I pulled away, embarrassment shooting through my cheeks. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, and turned to run out of the room, when his hand clamped down on my wrist, and yanked me back to him. His mouth came down on mine, rough and desperate. I thrust my fingers into his hair, tugging on the soft strands. A slight moan escaped my lips, igniting Ryder’s raging desire. He grabbed my face, and devoured my mouth, as he backed me up against the door.

It had been so long since I felt unbridled passion like this. I relished in every touch. Ryder broke our kiss, and trailed his tongue down my neck, stopping at the crook, sucking at the sensitive skin.

“God, you feel so fucking good,” he growled, moving his mouth back up against my ear, swiping his tongue across my lobe.

His fingers slipped under the strap of my dress, and he traced a line with his lips down to the swell of my breasts. My nipples hardened into tight peaks, and Ryder captured it between his thumb and forefinger, rolling the swollen bud.

My hands ran across his hard chest, and up over his shoulders. The feel of the leather beneath my fingers shook me out of my hormone-induced haze. I pushed him off of me. “Stop. I can’t. This was a mistake.”

Ryder reached down, adjusting his straining erection. As I watched him, a slight feeling of regret passed through me. But I had to. I left for a reason. This life, the one he chose, wasn’t the life I wanted, and he would never leave it behind.

I pulled my strap back into place, and smoothed down my dress before making the same decision I did five years ago.

I left.

FIVE

RYDER

I went through the inventory for the twenty-second time since those parts came up missing on mine and Axel’s watch. It wasn’t adding up. All the records were aligned yet parts were gone. They didn’t just vanish into thin fucking air, so there was only one possibility: someone jacked them.

Axel and I were the only two in the warehouse that night. It wasn’t me. I’m many things, but a thief is not one of them. The only logical answer would point to Axel. But, I refused to believe that. I didn’t trust many people, but I trusted him with my life. He wouldn’t fuck the Club or me over. The club was his whole world; he grew up in it, and there’s just no way he’d betray Pops or the rest of us like that. He was too damn loyal.

I scanned over the parts once more, and went back to the checklist. Clicking on the concrete echoed throughout the large space. Trista was the only female allowed in this building, and, unless one of the guys discovered their love for high heels recently, I knew it was her.

“Hey cuz,” I said, without looking away from the checklist.

“Any luck on those parts?” she asked, coming to a stop beside me, and nodding her head to the clipboard in my hand.

“I got shit. I don’t know what the fuck happened. I’ve re-watched the security footage a million times, trying to figure out where it was cut, but it’s seamless.”

Trista grabbed the clipboard out of my hand. “Someone’s going to have to take responsibility for this fuck up.”

“I know.”

“You sure it’s not on you? With Sawyer back, we all know your head’s not…”

“My heads fine,” I scoffed.  “Only a fucking pussy would let a girl mess with his head.” And that’s exactly what I was, because ever since Sawyer stepped through the door of Raven’s Nest, I couldn’t get her off my fucking mind.

I had hoped she was fat, or ugly, or grew an extra limb in the past five years, but she was just as hot as she always was, and, if possible, even hotter. I wanted her naked and beneath me, screaming my name as I pounded into her. And I thought that was the path we were heading down until she did what she was so good at. Walking out.

Trista arched an eyebrow at me. “It’s not just some girl. It’s Sawyer. The love of your life who just up and left without a fucking word. The one you’ve compared every girl to since she left… and don’t even try to deny it.”

“What do you want me to tell you? That my world turned upside down the minute she came back to town? That I can’t eat or sleep knowing that she’s only ten minutes away. Well, I’m sorry to tell you, but that’s not the case. I haven’t thought about her once.”

“Funny. Because I heard you two got down in the backroom at Raven’s Nest yesterday.”

I smirked. “We were just getting reacquainted.” 

“It’s fucking stupid if you ask me.” She crossed her arms over her chest, pursing her lips in disapproval.

“Good thing I didn’t ask you then.”

“I just hope you know what you’re doing,” she sighed. “Last time…she destroyed you. I just don’t want…we have too much going on for you to be preoccupied.” For a tough chick, she had her moments, and though they were few and far between, I could always tell there was a heart beneath the hard shell.

“I’m not a naïve kid anymore. I know what I’m doing.”

“Okay then.” She handed me back the clipboard. “There’s just one problem.”

I raised my eyes to hers.

Trista played with her nose ring before letting her hand fly out toward me. “There’s a rat.”

Trista didn’t have to say anymore. I knew exactly where she was going with this. Anger swelled inside of me, and I clenched my fists to subside the rage. “It’s not Sawyer.”

“How the hell do you know?”

“Me and you both know that Sawyer would never—”

“Sawyer is not the same girl that we knew. She could be a Fed.”

“She’s not a goddamned Fed, Trista,” I growled through clenched teeth. “Just let it go.”

She threw her hands up. “How can I? I have no fucking idea where she’s been for the past five years. For all we know, she ratted us out, and is here undercover.”

Anger raged inside of me, and I didn’t know if it was because of Trista’s accusations, or because I myself feared they could be true. Still, I wouldn’t believe it. Sawyer would never. I stepped up to Trista, and, instead of going for the kill, I went with reason.

“She was your best friend. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Trista’s lip twitched, showing a crack in her wall, but she quickly recovered. “Not anymore. Like I said, I don’t even know her.”

“I’d like to think, the girl she once was is still inside of her.” And I knew she was. I saw her. For the briefest of moments in the backroom of Raven’s Nest, I got a glimpse of Sawyer Lennox, the devoted bad girl who would do anything to protect all those she loved.

“For her sake, I hope you’re right.”

Trista turned, started for the door, but then stopped. “It’s going to be brought up at Church, you know.”

Sawyer seriously couldn’t have chosen a worse time to come back to Brooks Landing. “I know.”

“They might not be as understanding,” Trista warned.

I nodded. “I’ll deal with them.”

“In that case, for
your
sake, I hope you’re right.”

That made two of us.

SIX

SAWYER

“How are you feeling?” I asked Mom when she got out of bed the next morning. She’d been sleeping so much I dared not disturb her. She needed her rest. Uterine cancer was no joke. If she was going to get through the hysterectomy, she needed all of her strength.

Mom kissed the top of my head, and rested her hand on my cheek. “The sun is shining. It’s a beautiful day and my niña is home. Couldn’t be better.”

“I spoke with the doctors. They have your surgery scheduled for next Tuesday.”

“Let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about you.” My mother, God I loved her, but she wanted nothing to do with her diagnosis. She’d rather pretend it didn’t exist than to deal with it head on. If she’d told me sooner, I would’ve been here for her.

Instead, she thought prayer would heal her. She’d been lucky the cancer hadn’t spread while she was calling on the Lord to cure her.

“Nothing to talk about, Mom.”

“You haven’t been home in five years. There’s plenty to talk about.”

I rolled my eyes at her pestering before getting up and pouring two cups of coffee. “I talked to you once a week.”

“About New York. I want to hear about what’s going on since you’ve been here.” 

I handed Mom her mug, and took a sip from my own. “That’s easy. Nothing.”

Mom lifted an eyebrow, and flashed her insinuating smile. “That’s not what I hear.”

I let out an exaggerated sigh, and turned to the counter, trying to subdue my annoyance. “Goddamn it and this town of gossipers.”

“Don’t you use the Lord’s name in vain,” she warned.

I turned back, and Mom’s eyes shot daggers at me. That was her one rule, and even grown men who broke it would cower at that look.

“Sorry.” I sat down at the table. “It just amazes me how some things you can’t torture out of them yet others they can’t keep their mouths shut about.”

She drummed her fingers on the table, and I waited for her to finally come out with whatever question it was that was eating at her. “So, are you going to tell me about your little argument with Ryder?”

“No,” I said with a smile.

She frowned, and then placed her hand on her chest. “Oh come on, give your dying mother something.”

I held my hand up, and stopped her right there. “You are not dying.” I took her hand in mine, and ran my thumb over her knuckles. “You are going to get the surgery, and you’re going to beat this. Do you hear me? So please. Don’t talk like that.”

Mom pursed her lips like she had a million more things to say, but then decided against it. She looked down at her coffee for a moment, and then smiled up at me. “So, are you and Ryder getting back together?”

I rolled my eyes. “You are relentless.”

“He loves you.”

“Maybe he did once, but he always loved the club more.”

“The club is his family.”

“The club destroys lives. Do I need to remind you of my father, your husband, who is rotting away in a prison cell? The club did that to him.”

“Mija, the MC didn’t do that to him. He did it to himself. He’s there for the crimes he committed.”

“That the club made him commit,” I retorted.

“No. The club didn’t force him into the lifestyle. He chose it. So don’t blame the Idols.”

I thought about Mom’s words, and even though I didn’t believe her reasoning, I couldn’t have this argument with her again, especially now. Not when she was sick and getting ready to have life saving surgery. She needed to focus all of her energy on that. I needed to get out of here, and away from this conversation.

“What about if I make sofrito bandido and porkchops for dinner?”

She smiled, her face brightening up. “My favorite.”

“I know. I just have to run to the store and get a few things. I’ll be back soon.” I finished off my coffee, and kissed Mom goodbye.

After yesterday, I didn’t walk out of my house without looking both ways. I hated not feeling safe in my own home, but the sad thing was, I was used to it. This had been my way of life for so long, and despite the years away, I was still always aware of my surroundings. Only now, it was back in full force and for good reason.

Cruz was at Raven’s Nest, and while I hated the idea, I needed to put my personal feelings aside. At least I knew, for the most part, he was safe there.

I pulled into a parking spot at the supermarket, and headed inside, heading straight to the meat section, and throwing a pack of pork chops in my cart.

“So, the stories are true. You’re back.” My body froze at the voice. Trista was one my closest friends before I left. I didn’t know how much she had changed, but she was never the forgiving type.

I turned around, and took a deep breath. “I am,” I admitted, taking in her dark eyes and dark hair. Her hair was a little longer, but the nose ring, the self-assured confidence in her stance, and the badass tough girl exterior was all the same.

“Nice of you to fucking call.”

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what to say.

Trista stepped closer. “Care to tell me why you’re back?”

“My mom’s sick.” Trista knew this. Everyone knew about Mom but me.

“She’s been sick for awhile. Why now? You could’ve been back months ago, so why now?”

“I didn’t know.”

She scoffed. “Likely story.”

“I’m sorry are you trying to accuse me of something?”

“I just find it a little suspicious that you come waltzing back into town in your fancy clothes.” She pulled at the strap of my dress, and snapped it back. “Right as the Feds are opening an investigation.”

“Into the Idols?”

“Don’t play dumb with me,” she spat.

The realization dawned on me. “Wait. You think I have something to do with that?”

“You disappeared in the middle of the night. Never told anyone where you were going. You knew more about the club than any outsider. You hate us. After your dad was put away, you made that known to anybody who would listen.”

I shook my head. “That all may be true, but I’m not a rat. And you should know that better than anyone.”

The only weapon I had was our history. Trista and I saw a lot of shit. Dealt with more. Those secrets stayed with me. Her burden was my burden. The one time I needed her to carry
my
burden, I bailed, but that didn’t mean I ever stopped carrying hers. We were friends that were two steps away from sisters, and I only hoped that she could remember that.

“I did.” She narrowed her eyes in disgust. “But I don’t even know who you fucking are anymore.”

“I’m not working for the Feds.”

Trista moved even closer to me, inches from my face. “For your sake, you sure as hell better not be.” She turned and started walking away before pausing, and then looked back. “And, by the way, you can wear boots all you want to cover that tat, but you’re not fooling anyone. You’re one of us. It’s time you remembered that.”

I looked down at the brown boots, remembering the day I branded myself with a slight variation of the club’s signature raven. It was my way to show my devotion to the club, and to prove to Ryder that I was in it for the long haul. Then, my dad got locked up, and my views on everything, not just the MC, changed.

Trista was there to hold my hand as the needle pierced my skin, marking me forever as an Idol’s old lady. She had always been there for me.

I glanced back up, but it was too late. Trista was already gone.

SEVEN

RYDER

Cruz did inventory on the liquor, and I wiped down the bar, as we got ready for the night crowd. It was hard to look at him, and see the man he’d become. All I ever saw was the twelve-year-old kid who used to beg me to take him for rides on my bike.

He was a good kid, but so much had changed in the past couple of years, and I just wanted to keep him away from those fucking drug dealers. It would be a cold day in hell if he ever became the enemy. So, even if Sawyer couldn’t understand my motives, at least I knew, when Cruz was in Raven’s Nest, he was safe.

Cruz held up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. “I think you need to place an order for J.D. This shit’s been going like water.”

I tossed the rag over my shoulder, and pointed to the pad on the bar. “Write it down. I’ll get to it later.”

The phone rang, and I picked it up. “Raven’s Nest.”

“Ryder, it’s Rev,” he slurred which meant he probably took a ride up to one of the casinos, and was currently drinking and gambling himself into a hole.  

“Yeah, buddy, what’s up?”

“I’m supposed to make a shipment to the docks in an hour, but I’m a little tied up.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Get yourself untied and get your ass to the docks.” I was getting sick and tired of always cleaning up Rev’s shit. I had enough of my own shit that needed cleaning up. I didn’t have time for his too.

“I could, but when a pretty lady ties you to the bedpost, why the fuck would you want to?” There was giggling in the background.

I wanted to kill him. “You’re blowing off club responsibility for some pussy?”

“Just go to the dock for me. I’ll owe you one.”

“Rev, you owe me a whole fucking binder full,” I bit out.

“So, what’s another favor?”

I ran my hands through my hair, and shook my head. Either way, the shipment had to be made, and there was no way Rev was making it. With shipments already missing, the last thing we needed was to stand up the fucking Chinese. I might not want to be Rev’s bitch, but I also didn’t want those Chinese motherfuckers up my ass either.

“Is the truck loaded?”

“Loaded and ready to go. You just have to drive it down. Li and his crew will meet you there.”

“Fine.”

Rev groaned on the other end, and I hung up the phone before I could hear anything else. Looked like there was a change in my afternoon plans.

Blaze arrived, and before he could sit at the bar, I patted his shoulder. “Blaze, I have to go make a delivery, and you’re coming with me.”

Cruz put the bottle down he was marking. “Hey, let me go. You’re going to need someone behind the bar anyway, and I’m too young to serve.”

“He has a point,” Blaze said.

Sawyer would throw a fit. Then again, what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. It was a simple delivery. What could possibly go wrong? “Fine. Let’s go.”

***

I checked my gun, and tucked it into the waistband of my pants. Cruz did the same.

“You don’t touch your gun unless you know for a fact we’re in danger. You got that?” I didn’t need him getting all trigger happy, and shooting for the wrong reasons.

He rolled his eyes. “What do you think I am? A fucking moron?”

I laughed. “Maybe.”

We hopped into the truck at the warehouse, and headed toward the docks. I glanced up in the rearview mirror, and spotted a black town car keeping its distance, but I knew when I was being followed.

“We have company.”

Cruz checked his side view mirror. “Feds?”

“Who else drives black fucking town cars?”

“What’s the plan?” Cruz asked.

I smiled as I cut the wheel, and headed in the opposite direction of the docks. I took out my cell and dialed Raven’s Nest. Blaze answered on the third ring.

“Hey Prospect, do me a favor. Tell Rogue to get in touch with Li, and let him know the shipment is going to be delayed. We have a tail.”

I hung up the phone, slid my sunglasses into place, and lounged back in the driver seat. I turned to Cruz and smiled. “Get ready to be schooled, little brother. Time for us to take those assholes on a little wild goose chase.”

We drove all over Brooks Landing, stopping at the liquor store to pick up more Jack Daniels, the ice cream shop for a snack, and then the drug store for a card.

“What’s the card for?” Cruz asked.

I held up the thank you card, and flipped it open. “Hand me a pen.” I took the pen from Cruz and wrote beneath the Thank You:

For spending the day with me. But, if you’re going to be all over my ass all day, the least you can do is buy me a drink.

“What do you plan on doing with that?”

I scooped up the card, and stalked right over to the asshole who still thought he was incognito with his douchebag sunglasses and side parted hair.

The Fed shifted in his seat as I made eye contact with him, daring him to try something, anything. I slammed the card on the windshield, making sure the words were visible, and then got back in the truck and drove away.

If the Feds wanted to catch us, they were going to have to try harder than that.