Falling (Bits and Pieces, Book 1) (22 page)

Patrick gave Becca’s arm a little squeeze. “Can you please give us a few minutes?”

“Sure. We have a little time.” Becca didn’t move. “I told my friends that we would meet them at the mall.”

“Alone.” He gently told her.

She rolled her eyes at me before turning to face him. Her voice sounded too sweet to me. “No problem. Looks like Liz is having a bad day, take your time. Fix your stray. I’ll get a ride with Grace. I’ll meet you at the food court.”

He smiled at her. “Thanks for understanding, Becks. I’ll be there in a few.”

He hugged her and kissed her forehead. She turned back at me and glared, but her tone was sugary. “Hope you feel better soon.”

She left. Patrick waited until she was out of ear shot. “Sorry about that. You were going to say something before Becca came over?”

“Yeah. Uh…” I tried to remember exactly what I was going to say before I was distracted by Becca. I looked at him holding his gym bag and remembered what Emily told me. I was contrite. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“I know you didn’t mean to, but I do. That’s what friends do when they know a friend is in trouble. When I didn’t see you there with Emily and Cassie, at first, I thought you were just running a little late. But that wasn’t like you. The longer you were gone, the more I worried. When I got benched…” His voice trailed off.

I felt awful. My heart plunged into my stomach. I hung my head down in shame. “I’m horrible.”

“Hey, no.” He lifted my chin up and shook his head. “I’m not telling you this to make you feel worse.”

“Then…” I whispered.

“Why?” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. I nodded. “To let you know that you’re not the only one whose imagination can run wild, to sometimes jump to the worst.”

There was something a little reassuring about that. “It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. Wait. Not that that’s what I wanted you to do or… I didn’t want you to think that…”

Open mouth. Insert foot. I felt like I was making things worse.

He chuckled, “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. I know what you meant.”

“Thanks.” I did believe he knew what I meant. “I was going to go to the gym right after class, but Mrs. Marshall pulled me out near the end of sixth period.”

His brow scrunched up. “What happened?”

I filled him in on everything and showed him the sheet music. He smiled, “Yeah, I can totally hear you singing this song. So, you happy that you made a decision?”

“I don’t know if happy is the right word for it. But at least I’m not tearing myself apart trying to decide what to do.”

“What about your parents?”

There was the big question I had been asking myself. “I don’t know. I haven’t exactly thought it all through. But I’m not really doing anything bad… am I?”

“No,” he confirmed. “Unless you’re doing this to just piss off your parents.”

“Uh. No.” My eyes widened and I shook my head. “I don’t have it in me to rebel just to rebel. That’s not me.”

“I know. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to do something that makes you happy, especially when it doesn’t hurt anyone. You’re good at it. You deserve the solo and to be happy.”

“Thanks. I guess I’ll just have to keep doing what I’ve been doing. Ignore my folks when it comes to things like this and not tell them anything. They already know I got the part and yelled at me for it, so at this point, there’s not much else. It’s not like I’d ask them to come and even if I did, they wouldn’t.”

He looked surprised. “They wouldn’t? I mean, I know they don’t agree with you, but you really think they wouldn’t come to the concert… even just to support you?”

I didn’t even have to think about it. “No. That’s not… them. They stick with their decisions. If they disagree, they will always disagree, nothing else matters or will change their mind.”

He really couldn’t understand. He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes. “Liz…”

“Don’t. I don’t want your pity. I’m just glad you don’t know what it’s like. Anyway, I’m used to it.” I looked away from him. I couldn’t handle the look on his face.

“You shouldn’t have to. And…” He moved to stand where I couldn’t avoid looking at him. “I don’t buy that you have. Anyway, it explains a lot.”

“Yeah? Well…” I guess it did, but I didn’t really want to admit it. I cleared my throat. “Aren’t you supposed to meet Becca?”

“You’re changing the subject.” He smirked.

I responded sarcastically. “I always knew you were a smart guy.”

“Well, I’ll be there to support you. Whenever, wherever. And so will the crew. You don’t have to be alone.”

“Thanks.” I sighed. It was really good to hear. It was reassuring to know that at least I’d have some friendly faces in the audience. It was one thing to not know anyone in the audience when I was part of the choir. I wasn’t in the spotlight and blended in with everyone, so I didn’t feel all that bad not having anyone there for me. It did hurt a little, but I could handle it. Having someone there for me… was a foreign concept. But one I wanted to get used to. “You really should go. Becca’s waiting.”

“Seriously, Liz. We’re all here for you.” He looked at his watch. “Yeah, I should get going. You’ll be okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.” I tried to reassure him with a little smile.

He gave me a hug. “I think we’ve already established that I do worry. Hey, I’ll call you later. Okay?”

“Okay. Go already!” I pushed him away from my car. He waved and jogged over to his car.

* * *

Over the rest of the week, everything seemed to get crazier. Things at home got increasingly tense. My parents didn’t ask about the concert, we avoided the topic all together. I threw myself into school even more. Patrick and I did a lot of background research for our science fair project. I rehearsed the new song with the choir and with Mrs. Marshall a couple times after school. I was keeping an insane schedule juggling my new found friends, classes, projects and choir. I used being an overachiever as an excuse anytime my friends or teachers asked me if I was taking on or doing too much. Bottom line? I was preoccupying myself as much as possible and trying to avoid the inevitable.

* * *

Then, one day, it was a Tuesday. The day before the Wednesday I was wishing would never arrive. I woke up knowing the ill-fated day was almost here. There was some stuff I had to take care of before tomorrow.

14. NERVES

I got to Mr. D’s room early so I could talk to him. “Morning, Mr. D.” I went to my seat to put my stuff down.

“Good morning. How are you doing today?”

“Hanging in there. I wanted to let you know that I won’t be here tomorrow. Is there anything major that I’m going to miss?” I didn’t want to go into detail about where I was going.

“Well, AP has a quiz tomorrow.” Aww, man. I hated falling behind to begin with, let alone missing a quiz or test.

“Can I make it up the next day?”

“Not during class time. Before school, at lunch or after school.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll make it up before school.” I didn’t want the quiz hanging over me.

“That’s fine. What’s going on?” Great, here came the questions that I wanted to avoid. I looked at him biting my lip. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me.” Thank goodness. He was giving me an out. “Just as long as you’ll make up the quiz.”

“I’ll make it up.”

“Okay.” He turned to finish writing up the homework assignment on the board.

I put in my ear buds and turned on my MP3 player. I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the music. I felt a whoosh of air near my hand, it was Patrick putting his backpack down on the table next to me. I started to put my player away. “Hi.”

“Hey. You didn’t have to put it away. You still had time to listen before class started.” There was still a good 15 minutes before the bell would ring and everyone would start coming to class.

“Yeah, I know, but I wanted to ask a favor.” He looked at me trying to read my face. I was still debating if I should ask him what I wanted to.

“Sure. Ask away.” He looked curious.

“I won’t be here tomorrow. You think I can borrow your notes?” I was nervous and scared, so I chickened out – I didn’t ask what I should have. I knew he would ask why and I couldn’t, just couldn’t talk about it with Mr. D there.

“Sure, I’ll be glad to let you borrow my physics notes.”

“And for English? And math?”

I swear that Patrick and Mr. D exchanged some look. All of sudden, Mr. D said he forgot to check his mailbox and was headed to the office, leaving us alone in the room.

“You’re going to be gone all day?” His eyes were tight.

“Yeah.” Anticipating his next question, I quickly added, “I’ll probably be back by 7:00 tomorrow night.”

“So,
all
day.” He paused. “Where are you going?”

“I have an appointment.” I was dreading this conversation.

“An appointment? That lasts all day? You know, you have to give me more than that.” He insisted.

I took a deep breath. “I’ll be in
San Francisco
. My flight leaves around 8:00 am.”

Patrick was really confused. He couldn’t understand what I was trying not to say, but he wouldn’t stop. I knew he wouldn’t until he knew what I was doing. “Is your mom or dad dragging you there?”

“No. I’m going by myself.” I wished I wasn’t, not that I wanted my folks to come with me.

“I really don’t understand what’s going on. Why would you go by yourself to
San Francisco
? For the day? For an
appointment
? Liz…”

“It’s sorta an appointment. It’s more like…” My voice trailed off and avoided making eye contact.

“More like what?”

“A subpoena.” I responded quietly then turned to look at him directly. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mr. D come back into the room. “Please don’t say anything. Please.” I pleaded in a whisper. He stared at me in shock. The bell rang.

Some students started arriving into the classroom. “Mr. D? Liz and I need to look for some parts in the back room. Is that okay?” Patrick didn’t sound like he was really asking for permission.

He looked at Patrick. “Sure. Some of the stuff back there is disorganized. It might be hard to find what you’re looking for. Take your time, so we don’t have to order a part that is hidden back there.” Patrick waited for me to start toward the back room and followed me. “Oh, and feel free to straighten up back there.”

We went to the far corner of the back room, as far away from Mr. D’s door as possible. It was a pretty big store room full of physics and chemistry supplies. The door connecting it to the other classrooms was closed. Patrick pulled out a stool for me to sit on. I sat down. He stood directly in front of me, keeping his voice low. “What the hell do you mean
subpoena
?”

I cringed at his tone. “I have to testify as a witness.” My voice cracked and I was shaking.

He took in my fear and his voice softened. “I’m sorry. I’m not mad at you or anything. I’m just trying to understand.”

“I know.” I couldn’t help it. I knew when I woke up that today would be the start of a hard week, I just had to get through the next couple days. “I just can’t talk about it now. If I do, I’m afraid I’ll lose it. I can’t miss class two days in a row. I just want to get through today and tomorrow.”