Falling for Fitz (8 page)

Earlier that day, Alex, who
arrived at Stratton’s in his tux from last night, smelling like a
brothel, had arranged a loan for Daisy from
English & Sons
and left Fitz
with a check for one-hundred and twenty grand in her
name.

Alex never directly asked why Fitz
needed this done, though his knowing smirk said plenty, and he’d
departed with the sage advice: “This time maybe you should actually
tell her how you feel about her.”

“
What’s that supposed to
mean?”

“
That summer? Everyone, and
I mean
everyone
,
knew how you felt… except her. She always had that uncertain look
in her eyes, searching your face from across the room, across the
pool deck, across the tennis courts, like she was wondering where
she ranked in your life.”

“
You don’t know what you’re
talking about.” He thought about going to the hospital the second
time, despite his mother’s warnings, how he’d told her he still
wanted to marry her. What had her response been? He winced inwardly
recalling the way his ring had pinged off his forehead. “Just
because you sleep with a lot of women, Alex, it doesn’t mean you
understand them.”

“
Uh, actually, yeah. It
sort of does. Not to mention, I was there all summer with a front
row seat to all of your shenanigans. I followed you two around in
the dark more than once too.”

“
What the hell?” Fitz
cringed, uncomfortable knowing all these years later his private
moments with Daisy had been invaded by his younger brother. “You’re
disgusting.”

“
That is true. But, I was a
horny nineteen-year-old and she was the hottest thing I’d ever
seen. Not that she ever even noticed me. I could pretty much nail
any tail in Haverford, but Daisy Edwards only had eyes for
you.”

“
Yeah, well it didn’t last.
It was just a summer thing.”

“
Seemed more serious than
that,” said Alex softly and Fitz narrowed his eyes. Did Alex know?
About the pregnancy? Fitz stared into Alex’s face and Alex colored
slightly, dropping Fitz’s eyes. Damn it, he knew.

Fitz bristled, feeling exposed and
annoyed. “In case you didn’t notice, she’s getting married, Alex.
We’re finished talking about this.”

“
She’s not married
yet
,” she Alex calmly.
“Whatever happened between you two? She was into you in a big way.
From where I was sitting, it looked like she was in love with
you.”

“
If I have to tell you to
shut up again,” said Fitz in a level voice, cracking his knuckles
before putting his hands on his hips. “I’m going to deck
you.”

Alex shook his head at Fitz like he
was a lost cause, handing him the check for Daisy. “Listen, I know
she’s engaged, but she’s here and if you still care about her…
Jesus, if you still love her…” He paused, clenching his jaw,
looking uncharacteristically bothered for a moment. “Not everyone
gets a second chance, Fitz. This is yours. Don’t blow
it.”

He’d watched Alex saunter out the door
casually with his tux jacket slung over his shoulder, feeling his
chest tighten from the impact of his brother’s words.

Was it true? Did Daisy not know how
Fitz had felt about her that summer?

They’d spent every minute together.
They’d had sex. He’d asked her to marry him. Those weren’t the
ambiguous actions of a man who didn’t care about a woman. He wasn’t
given to fancy words and flowery sentiment—he never had been. It
wasn’t Fitz’s way. He was more comfortable showing how he felt than
putting his feelings into words. Surely Daisy had known how he felt
that summer. It was written in every smile, every look, every time
he touched her or kissed her, how crazy he was about her. She had
to have known—on some level, whether she returned his feelings or
not—how much he loved her, indeed how deeply in love with her he’d
been.

But she was young and carefree. She’d
just wanted a fling—a casual summer thing that ended in losing her
virginity. Because up until the moment the condom broke, everything
had been pretty much perfect. In fact, several times that night
Fitz had almost told her that he loved her, but swallowed the words
because he didn’t want to bring a heaviness to the fun,
light-hearted nature of their relationship. And he certainly didn’t
want to pressure her into saying the words back. He told himself
that it was okay to hold onto them until the time was right. It was
okay to bide his time.

In fact, he’d even convinced himself
that it was okay if she didn’t love him as much as he loved her.
For starters, she was younger than he was. And she needed to finish
high school and he needed to go to London and finish college. Fitz
had taken a long realistic and rational view of their relationship.
She’d always be in his sphere of influence, returning to visit
Emily and her parents. He’d look forward to those moments, and
someday they’d both be adults, mature enough for love and
commitment. When that day came along, Fitz would make his move
after quietly loving her for years. When that day came along, he’d
ask her to be his wife.

But then he’d gotten her pregnant and
blew the whole plan to hell. At the time, he’d decided she was
probably confused and worried enough without him pushing her
emotionally to return feelings she might or might not have for him.
They had to deal with the situation of her possible, then actual,
pregnancy. He’d purposely kept his letters from England
unemotional, desperate that she never feel pressured into loving
him just because he loved her, desperate to give her the space to
decide what she wanted to do about the baby, and in his heart he’d
committed to being there for her, no matter what she decided to
do.

Hadn’t she seen that? He would have
done anything for her. Married her and had the baby. Supported her
decision not to have it or give it up for adoption. Throwing his
feelings into the mix would have been selfish, would have just
confused things. And a seventeen-year-old girl expecting a baby
doesn’t require further confusion.

Especially from the person who let her
down. It was his condom. He was the more experienced of them. He
was the almost-adult, while she was still a teen. But when she’d
whispered “It’s all we have left,” it had blasted any good judgment
out of the water. Faced with a life without Daisy for at least a
year while he was in London? It was so bleak and disheartening,
he’d lost himself in her instead. He’d taken everything she offered
him. Her body. Her virginity. Her innocence. Her home. She’d lost
so much. And he’d lost nothing… except her.

On a good day Daisy Edwards
made him careless. But add his guilt over everything she’d
surrendered to him? It blinded him. When he said he’d do anything
for her last night, he meant it. Anything. Buy her a bakery. Watch
her marry someone else who made her happy. Anything. He’d apologize
to her and Dr. M. the next time he saw them. He had no business
trying to mess up her future. Luckily, he and Stratton had found a
perfect space for
Daisy’s Delights
in bustling Haverford village, only ten minutes
from Haverford Park. He’d offer the bakery as a peace offering, and
then—despite the whisperings of his heart and longings of his
flesh—he’d leave her alone just as she’d asked him to so many years
ago.

***

As Daisy walked up the gravel driveway
toward the great house with Emily, her father, aunt and uncle, her
heart thumped with anticipation. Would Fitz be here tonight?
Without wanting to seem obvious, she’d asked Emily at breakfast
which of the brothers showed up regularly for dinner, but Emily had
answered that it changed every week, depending on who was around
and available. Sometimes it was just her and Barrett, other times,
all four younger brothers managed to show up at the same time.
Emily had grinned, sharing that those dinners were always the most
fun.

Josh had looked very relieved to say
goodbye at the airport, insisting Daisy not go to the trouble of
parking and walking in with him. He’d turned to her just before
getting out of the car.

“
I’m not one to butt into
people’s personal affairs, but are you sure you’re going to be
okay?”

She’d nodded. “I think so.”

“
You never told me exactly
why you needed a fake fiancé, Daisy, but you clearly have
unfinished business with that guy, Fitz. Can’t say I like him, but
I hope you get it sorted out.”

“
Me too, Josh,” she said,
giving him a small smile. “And sorry, again, for what
happened.”

Josh waved away her apology,
continuing, “Probably best to lay your cards on the table, you
know? Don’t assume he knows what you’re thinking. When I get home
I’m asking Sara Meyers out on a date. I’m going to tell her I’ve
been in like with her for about three years now. And well now,
maybe she won’t like that or maybe she will. But, it’s better than
wondering.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Goodbye, Stella.
Good luck.”

Daisy turned this over in her head as
they walked by the carefully trimmed hedges that her uncle kept
meticulously maintained on the grand driveway. Unfinished business?
Yes. What kind? Damned if she knew. So much between her and Fitz
seemed unsaid.

Emily linked her arm through Daisy’s
as the gravel crunched under their feet. “Remember that night on
the trampoline? The night Fitz stole the wine and we all got
drunk?”

Daisy grinned. “I
remember.”

“
Barrett walked us home
that night.”

“
Yes, he did. I
remember.”

“
I don’t. I must have been
three sheets to the wind.”

“
You were.”

“
You know,” said Emily
conspiratorially, “I sort of thought that you and Fitz had a thing
going on that summer.”

“
Did you?”

“
Uh-huh. I mean, I never
saw you guys making out or anything, but you were always staring at
each other. It seemed… intense.”

Daisy was quiet, even though Emily was
fishing. By tacit agreement, she and Fitz had kept their
relationship a secret—partially because there were a lot of
personalities in play that summer, but mostly because sneaking
around was part of the fun. It had heightened the excitement of
their time together, and she’d loved it.

“
And you know,” continued
Emily, “he’s single. He dates a lot but—”

“
But what?” demanded Daisy
without thinking.

Emily looked at Daisy thoughtfully and
shrugged. “He never seems to stay with anyone for more than a
couple of months, but maybe things would be different for you… Once
you get over Dr. M. you could always cast your eyes his
way.”

“
Fitz’s way?”

“
Yep. And I know he might
seem sort of boring—”

“
Boring?” exclaimed Daisy
defensively. “He’s
not
boring.”

“
I just mean he’s very
reserved.”

“
Oh, yes. Punching
strangers in the face is very reserved, Emmy.”

“
I don’t know what happened
last night,” said Emily. “I couldn’t have been more shocked!
Barrett tells me all the time… Fitz is the most ethical person he
knows. They’ll never owe a dime to the IRS or the FCC because Fitz
follows every rule, every law to the letter. I can’t imagine what
happened to make him behave like that.”

“
Dr. M. made an off-color
joke,” Daisy covered quickly. “I pretended to be insulted and Fitz
took it the wrong way.”

“
Like I said. There was
always something very intense between you two.”

“
It was a million years
ago. Besides, I’m still ‘engaged,’ right?”

Emily sighed. “I guess.
Though it would be fun to be cousins
and
sisters-in-law, wouldn’t
it?”

“
Emily!” exclaimed Daisy,
breaking into giggles. “You haven’t even said yes yet!”

Daisy was so distracted by her cousin,
she missed the sight of Fitz and Stratton coming around the house
from the garage, so she was surprised when she heard Fitz call her
name just as his mother opened the massive front door to welcome
them.

“
Daisy!”

Her heart immediately started
galloping, and Daisy dropped Emily’s arm, turning to face Fitz as
the rest of her family was ushered inside by Mrs.
English.

He approached her across the gravel,
stopping a few feet away, as Stratton covered his head with his
hands and hurried ahead of Fitz into the house.

“
Can I talk to
you?”

He was wearing ironed khaki pants and
a light blue gingham shirt rolled up to the elbows. The hair on the
back of his neck brushed his collar. His blond hair was darker now
than it had been nine years ago, almost more like a light brown
streaked with gold, but still wavy and tousled. Her fingers
twitched, remembering how it felt.

“
Sure,” she said, turning
to look at Mrs. English apologetically.

“
Mom, Daisy and I are going
to take a walk before dinner.”

“
Don’t be long,” said his
mother, giving Daisy a thin smile before returning to her
guests.