Falling for Him (Stories of Serendipity) (2 page)

"Honey, you do a good job.  Just keep it up.  She'll come around," he mumbled into his pillow.

"I just think she needs a little reinforcement, from someone besides me all the time."  She was met with a soft snore from the other side of the bed.

Chapter 2: 

The next morning, Amy was online trying to find recipes that her family might enjoy that were outside of her normal meat and potatoes, when her computer dinged, announcing an instant message.  She clicked over.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Hey gorgeous, how’s your morning going?

Those few words sent her heart pounding.  Bryan never cared how her day was going, he never called her gorgeous.  He never called her anything anymore.

Mommee_dearest:  Pretty good.  How’s yours?

Cool_Hand_Luke:  The usual.  Have you thought about
what we talked about yesterday?

Mommee_dearest:  Yes.  I don’t think it’s a good idea, Cool_Hand_Luke.  In fact, I’m not sure we should continue our friendship.

He didn’t answer her immediately, and Amy took that as a good sign.  Then the computer pinged again.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  I’m sorry.  I’ll stop asking you to meet me.  But please don’t say we can’t talk anymore.  We’re not doing anything wrong, Dearest.  And I like y
ou…You make me feel like a man.

Mommee_dearest:  I don’t see how I do that,
Cool_Hand_Luke.  We just talk.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Yeah, but we talk about real things, things my wife would never talk to me about.  You make me feel good.  That’s why I wanted to meet you, but if you’re not comfortable with it
, I’ll stop asking.  I’m sorry.

Mommee_dearest:  It’s okay.

The truth was, as much as she knew that talking to another man online who was not her husband was wrong, she felt the same way about him.  He made her feel so different from Bryan.  And she liked it.

Cool_Hand_
Luke:  So are we friends again?

Mommee_dearest:  I guess…

Cool_Hand_Luke:  So, what was young Dearest like?  What did you want to be when you grew up?

This was what she liked about him.  He showed a genuine interest in her.  Who else would want to know about her childhood?

They had been very careful with each other, not divulging any details about their lives.  They each knew the other was married, and by some unspoken agreement, they had managed to keep their identities and their physical appearances to themselves.  She had gathered from some of his comments that he was a Southern boy, but as far as his cur
rent location, she had no clue.

They chatted for a while about childhood dreams as well as regrets.  (Hers was lying to her sister about playing spin the bottle with her sister’s boyfriend.  His big childhood regret was stealing a candy bar from the quickie mart.) Then she signed off with a heavy sigh to
start her weekly shopping list.

She and Cool_Hand_Luke never really discussed anything earth-shattering.  It was usually just mundane things.  But something about the interaction gave Amy a sense of comfort, just knowing that there was another person out there that cared about what she had to say, even if it was reliving past memories or her favorite foods.

Amy flipped her screen back to the braised chicken breast recipe.  She'd found some new recipes that looked good to try.  Now that her kids were older, they apparently wanted to eat a wider variety of food, and she was eager to comply.  She certainly didn't mind cooking something different.  Bryan had always eaten everything she'd ever cooked.  That was one thing their marriage had going for it.  At least he ate her cooking.

The next morning, their comfortable chit-chat turned a little more personal.  After getting everybody off to school and putting the breakfast dishes in the sink, she logged on to find Cool_Hand_Luke already there.

Cool_Hand
_Luke:  Good morning, Sunshine.

Mommee_dearest:  Morning!

Cool_Hand_Luke:  What’s your favorite movie?  It’s funny we haven’t gone over this yet, since we met in a movie site.

Amy had to think a minute.  She couldn’t remember watching a movie for herself in so long that wasn’t one somebody else had picked out.  They really needed to start having family movie nights.

Mommee_dearest:  I guess I would have to say of the newer movies, I really liked
Hope Springs
.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Is that the one with that old couple who go to a sex therapi
st?  Why is that your favorite?

Mommee_dearest:  He's not a sex therapist.  He's a marriage counselor, and he helps them buil
d intimacy in their marriage. 

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Why do women always want intim
acy?  What does that even mean?

Mommee_dearest:  Women want a connection to a man.  They want to feel loved.  Not just hear the words.

Why was she telling him this?  This was by far more personal than most of their previous conversations.

Cool_Hand_Luke: 
How long have you been married?

Mommee_dearest:  18 years.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Me too.  Is your love still pure?  Like it was when you were young?

Amy didn't have to think about her answer.  No.  But did she really want to talk about her marriage to a stranger?  Online?  She wasn't too sure. Although she and Cool_Hand_Luke had been talking for a couple of months, and she felt like she really knew him, but would it be appropriate for her to talk about this kind of thing with him? 

She'd actually tried to get Bryan to go to marriage counseling a couple of years ago, when she thought that she couldn't handle the staleness of their marriage anymore.  She'd thought maybe somebody could help them get the spark back, but Bryan had balked at the idea of spilling their problems to a stranger.  So nothing had changed.  And she cringed at the thought of him finding out she was talking to somebody online about it.

Maybe Cool_Hand_Luke had some ideas that might help?  She sighed, and figured she would go for it.  Bryan didn’t care enough about her daily activities to check up on her anyway.

Mommee_dearest:  No.  Life and kids happened, and love got put on the backburner.  What about you?  How's your marriage?

Cool_Hand_Luke:   *snort* It's alright.  I'm not su
re we're still in love anymore.

Mommee_de
arest:  What happened to yours?

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Same thing as yours.  Kids, life, neither one of us has any desire for the other one anymore.  We're usually too tired to do anything, or too busy.  It's
just same shit, different day.

Mommee_
dearest:  It's sad, isn't it? 

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Yeah, I guess.

Mommee_dearest:  What would you like to see happen with your marriage, Luke?

Cool_Hand_Luke:  I would like to see her look at me the way she used to.  Like I was the only person in the room.

Amy paused.  Didn't she wish for that too?  Once upon a time, Bryan used to look at her that way.  Now, she couldn't remember the last time he'd expressed desire in her, beyond "I need to relieve some stress, honey.  Can you help me out?"  Now, he didn't even say the words. 

Cool_Hand_Luke:  There's something about talking to you online.  I have no idea what you look like, or who you are.  And for some reason, I feel like I can tell you anything, you know?

Amy thought about that.  Hadn't she already told him stuff that she wanted to talk to Bryan about?  And she hadn't had the guts?  Cool_Hand_Luke was her own version of marriage counseling, and she was already feeling lighter, and she hadn't even told him much.

Mommee_dearest:  Yeah, I know.  I feel better talking to you, although for some
reason, I feel a little guilty…

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Why?  It's not like we're talking about sex or something.  Although we could…  J
K


Mommee_dearest:  LOL.  I know, but it seems like a conversation I should be having with my husband and not some stranger online.  That's all.  I do feel bette
r talking about it, though.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  So what would you like to see happen with your marriage, Dearest?  What are your wishes and desires?

That was an excellent question, one she wasn’t sure she had the answer to.  She knew what she wanted, but wasn’t sure how to get there.  Taking a deep breath, like she was about to dive off a pier into murky waters, she began typing.

Mommee_dearest:  I would like to see him want ME and not just sex, laundry and dinner.  I would like for him to do the things he used to do when we were first married, flowers, random little gifts for no reason, an occasional date, stuff like that.  I'd like for him to tell me I look pretty sometimes. I'd like for him to make an effort to do stuff with the kids, with me, like a fami
ly.   It's just little things…

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Have you ever told him that stuff?  It seems like you've been
thinking about it for a while.

Mommee_dearest:  No. 

Cool_Hand_Luke:  You should tell him.  He might be receptive to it.

Mommee_dearest:  A while back, I tried to talk to him, to tell him I wa
sn't happy, and he blew me off.

Cool_Hand_Luke: Blew you off?

Mommee_dearest:  Yeah, he acted like it was no big deal.

Amy remembered that day well.  And he hadn't acted like it was no big deal, he'd gotten really mad.  It was a Saturday, and both of the kids were gone, doing other things.  Amy had sat down next to Bryan on the couch where he was watching a football game on TV.  She'd had a hard time getting his attention, and when she finally did, during a commercial, he hadn't been happy about the interruption.

"What Amy?"  He'd turned his eyes to her, and the impatience there almost made her lose her nerve.  Amy took a deep breath.

"I just want to talk to you, that's all.  We never talk anymore."

"And you need to talk during the game?"

"Well, there's not really any other time, Bryan."  She hated that she sounded whiney and tried to deepen her voice.  "Do you still love me?"

"What the hell?  Of course I still love you."  He turned back toward the TV, even though it was still a commercial.  Amy took the remote and turned it off.

Spinning towards her, Bryan exclaimed through clenched teeth, "Okay, talk fast."

Her hands were worrying each other, as she got up the nerve to talk.  She really hated confrontation.  "You just don’t ever do the things you used to anymore, and I don't feel close to you.  We never talk about anything, and I don't feel like I know you anymore."   The words came out in a rush, and not the way she wanted them to.

Bryan ran his hands through his hair.  "What the hell, Amy?  We talk.  We sleep in the same bed every night.  You know me better than anybody else.  I love you.  Now can I turn the game back on?"  His voice had risen. 

"But we don't talk about anything meaningful.  Don't you see?  We don't talk about our dreams anymore.  We don't…"

He interrupted her.  "Dreams?  My dream is to quit going to work sixty hours a week to provide for a family who thinks money grows on trees.  I'm working towards retirement.  That's all.  Other than that, I would like a quiet Saturday afternoon, where I can watch the game."  With that, he'd wrestled the remote from her hands and angrily switched the TV back on.

Amy hadn't been able to bring up the subject of their marriage again.  That was the second time she'd tried.  The first time had been to ask if he would be willing to see a marriage counselor, and he'd completely blown up, yelling at her about pitting strangers against him.  Amy just told herself that every married couple got this way, and she still loved him, no matter what.  Besides, she'd taken a vow in front of God, her family, and everybody to love him forever.

But forever was such a long time.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Well, he sounds like a dick.  You can talk to me anytime.

Mommee_dearest:  Thank
s.

Cool_Hand_Luke:  When's the last time you've gotten ready for him?  Dressed in sexy lin
gerie and tried to turn him on?

Mommee_d
earest:  It's been a while…why?

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Why don't you try it today?  Let me know how it goes.  I can help.

Mommee_dearest:  How can you help?

Cool_Hand_Luke:  Well, I'm not trying to do anything personally with you, keep in mind.  I'm taking one for the team here.  But I co
uld try to get you in the mood…