Falling For My Husband (British Billionaires) (26 page)

“This is the only way I know how, Stella.” He took a deep breath, inhaling my scent. “You can’t expect me to be friends with you, knowing how much I want you.” His nose buried further in my hair. “I’ll always want you.”

I knew this was for the best. Dammit, I knew it was, but I was being cut into two and I wanted the pain to stop. “The thought of not seeing you… it terrifies me.”

He cupped my chin, his thumb wiping the tear that escape from my eye. “Be with me then. I’ll be right next to you, for however long you want me by your side.”

“Callum, you’re not fair.”

“I’m begging here.” He pulled out of my hair and looked into me. “I’ve never begged before, but I’m beyond desperate to have you. It’s horrible without you.” He paused, throat bobbing before he found his voice again. His next move came as a surprise. Callum got on his knees, literally begging in the highest order. “I need you in my life, Stella. Stay and be mine again.”

Callum was giving me a make or break it decision and I wasn’t playing fair, especially knowing how I felt about him. He wasn’t allowing leniency, not even for friendship. He was using my feelings as a weapon against me. “Cal—”

“Please, say you’ll stay.”

I would, if he could tell me what I wanted to hear most. It was now or never. “Are you in love with me?” I whispered, breathless.

Something passed in his eyes and my heart plummeted when I realized what that look was. It was a look of retreat and regroup. He was thinking about how to respond to my question.

Callum took his time, gathering himself up on his feet again before responding to me. His dark, penetrating eyes commanding me to look at him. “I—” he carefully began, “deeply care for you. More than any woman after her.”

I didn’t even have the power to flinch because I had known what was going to come out of his mouth before he’d said it. Still, for him to confirm
it, stabbed me into reality over and over again. Giving up on my loved ones wasn’t my forte, but I guess I have to learn how for the first time.

It took every ounce in me to give him a smile, which was full of love and understanding; that he didn’t need to explain to me why he cared deeply, why he couldn’t love me, or why he wasn’t capable of giving me what I wanted when I was more than willing to give him everything that I had. My present and my future, I wanted it to be with him.

How could I spend the rest of my life next to a man who was in love with another? True, sex would be out of this world. Not to mention that I would get to keep him all for myself. He’d spoil me to no end and I wouldn’t want for anything in the materialistic aspect… but could I accept that even though I had him, there would be times that he’d think about Zara? Wonder about her and what life could’ve been if she hadn’t done what she had? Did I love him that much that I’d be more than willing to sacrifice not being loved by the man I had chosen to be with?

The answer was, unfortunately, a resounding no.

My family had so much love to give. My parents were in love with each other and I wanted what they had. I shouldn’t settle for anything less. If I had to give my all to a man, I’d expect the same exchange.

Callum and I weren’t meant to be, simple as that.

My heart was in pieces as it cracked a little bit more inside.

The urge to dwell on my broken heart was too tempting, however I had to see this through and leave his house. My brokenness could be dealt with later on. Right now, I needed all of my will to say goodbye to him.

We were having a staring contest as he waited for me to give him an answer.

It took every ounce in me to gather the courage to walk up to him, knowing that this might be the last time, for a very long
time, that I was going to see him in the flesh.

“Promise me that you’ll take care of yourself?” I pleaded, knowing his penchant for racing and whatever else could get his adrenaline skyrocketing towards pure euphoria.

His quick transformation was heart wrenching. It tore me up inside, but I didn’t have that much choice.

Callum slowly distanced himself from me. He became stoic. Unreachable. “Take care of myself,” he muttered, nodding. “Why bother with asinine attempts of niceties?” Dark eyes cut through me. “I think I’ve begged enough. If you want to leave, go. You know you’re way around.”

“That’s harsh.”

He made a careless shrug and then spun around, not facing me. Callum’s immediate detachment rankled on my threadbare composure. It hurt, but I knew he was purposely doing this to protect himself. This was his way of ejecting someone from his life
; with a cold attitude and instant rejection.

“So this is it?” I lingered longer. For each second I stayed, it made me die a little bit more inside… and yet, my feet remained rooted, the situation unresolved for me.

“This was your choice, Stella, not mine.” He spoke with indifference. “But you may be right, it’s time we end this. I was getting bored, anyway.”

His back still faced me, so I took a moment and burned this into memory, seared
him
into me. I knew he said those words because he was angry, but it didn’t make any difference because it still managed to wound me.

“I’ll be heading out then,” I whispered as I darted his silent form another quick glance. I steadily strode into the hallway then out of the house.

Out of his life for good.

Someday I’ll love again…

Those words echoed into my broken heart. If that day ever came, I’d better be falling for a man who was capable of loving me as a whole because I wouldn’t expect anything less.

One thing I had learned with my short affair with Callum, though, it truly was pure hardship to force yourself to walk away when you had irrevocably fallen into the deep abyss of loving a man. To muster enough will and discipline yourself to turn your back on you heart, hear it break repeatedly and still remain intact and sane, was one of the toughest trials I’d had to battle.

Saying goodbye was the most difficult thing to do when my heart wasn’t ready to let him go.

This lesson would forever be scarred into me.

Chapter 33

Callum

I was in the middle of a conference call when Eleanor delivered something on my desk. I barely gave her notice as I continued on with the German investors.

An hour later, I was getting up to meet my mother for lunch when I noticed the large, fat envelope Eleanor had placed on the side of the table. It didn’t have any labels or stamps, so I assumed it was work related.

Well, I had guessed wrong.

I know the agreement was to stay married until I was at the age of twenty-six. That contract was specifically designed for you and signed by you, not me. It’s high time we put this behind us and move forward.

Best,

Stella von Berg

Divorce. She wanted a bloody, fucking divorce! “
Like hell!
” I yelled as I crumpled the paper and threw it across the room. The papers that she needed to be signed went in the same fashion.

The lovely English rose had finally grown some thorns and I didn’t like it one bit.

~C~

It had been two weeks since I had last seen her. I knew she had moved to Hyde Park Gardens because her funds wouldn’t be released unless I signed the agreement. Before I had done that, I asked to see the place she wanted to buy and also asked for my own copy of the house keys.

It was her first time living alone. I wasn’t convinced that it was a bright idea, knowing she was a woman who was dating. Stella demanded I set her free and I had done just that, but now she wanted a divorce? That was unlikely.

I let myself into her home and waited for her. After an hour and a half, I was getting impatient. It was almost one in the morning,
on a Tuesday
; where the hell was she?

My body froze when I heard the faint sound of the keys jiggling… and laughter.
Her
laughter along with another man.

Brilliant. Just want I needed,
another fight
.

Their laughter ended when they spotted me, standing there, brooding as I awaited her return.

The man spat out, furious. “
Who the fuck are you?
”

“Her husband,” I causally said, looking at Stella.

Her date spun around to face the shocked Stella. “
You’re married?
Are you fucking kidding me, Stella?”

She opened her mouth, hating me on sight. “William, it’s not what you think. I’m getting divorced soon.”

“Fuck!” William frowned as he gazed at me then at Stella. “Well, call me when this whole thing is over. The next time I kiss you, I want you to be a free woman. Single.” He sagged a bit before we watched him retreat, letting himself out of the flat.

So the bloke’s name was William. He’s number what now? Fifteen? Twenty? She was bent on spreading herself around. Each man she dated was fucking with my brain. Throw this whole divorce fiasco in, so that she could freely do as she pleased, and it wasn’t happening for me at all. My mind wouldn’t allow the possibility to exist. She wasn’t divorcing me until she was twenty-six. That was the agreement and I was sticking to it.

“How many William’s are there going to be in your life, Stella? Haven’t had your fill of fun yet? Either way, you’re going to be married to me for four more years.”

She tensed, flashing her eyes at me, breasts heaving. “I’m going to contest it. I want to have full financial control of my assets. It would be best for the both of us. We will be free of each other.”

Stella was challenging me to the point where I usually became ruthless, something I had vowed not to do when it came to her. “You could try, but I’m telling you now, you won’t win against me.” I paused, letting my words sink in. “Besides, that’s not what Richard wanted.”

“I know,
but he’s not here to see how miserable I am!
I’m all fucking alone!”

That wasn’t true. “You have me.”

“I don’t want you, Callum. So stop acting all chivalrous. I’m sick of everything. I want a new beginning.”

She was throwing everything back in my face, but I was ready to compromise so that I could have her back in my life. “Let me take care of you. I made a—”

“You vowed, you promised my brother that you would. I KNOW!”

“Stella.” I moved towards her, but she raised her hand, making me stop.

“No! I want a new life. Maybe someone new. Heck, maybe I could get married again and have lots of children then maybe I wouldn’t be alone anymore.”

“You’re married to me. Do you hear me? You’re married to me.” I pressed her against the wall with no chance of escape.

It was make or break from here.

“Did you… did he—William—did you guys go any further other than kissing?”

“Why? If I told you I did, what would you do, Callum?”

She was goading me. “
Did you?
” She was the master of avoiding direct questions. I loathed it.

“Like I would tell you. What’s the difference? From where I’m standing, I’m not obligated to answer anything.”

I growled. “Damn you. Stop torturing me.”

“
I’m
torturing
you
? That’s fresh!” Stella hissed at me. “You have done nothing except torture me after that weekend. Who cares if Derek, William, or whoever else, kissed me? Who cares if I’m enjoying their caresses… or when their having sex with me? That’s none of your business.”

“You went all the way?” My hands slowly slid off the wall, feeling weak and beaten. “
You—
” I couldn’t even finish a sentence because I was having a hard time grasping at the thought of her enjoying another man… pleasuring her… fucking her as she begged for more. Stella was mine.

She was mine… but I had been too arrogant and past blinded from my own misery to see how much I wanted her in my life. Now I was paying the price. I was hurting, gutted all the way to the core.

Stella looked panicked, but quickly recovered.

I flinched when she cupped my cheek, stroking it. “Cal?”

I was at a loss. I had never felt so helpless in my life.

“Cal, say something…” she pleaded, nervously biting her bottom
lip.

I watched as her teeth let go of it. It changed from pale pink into cherry red and I stood here, craving those lips like I’d never longed for anything in my life.

My eyes scanned her beautiful face, tracing, memorizing and yearning all at once before I stopped and stared into her soul, pleading for the umpteenth time. “I want you to give me a chance.”

“A chance…
for what precisely?
”

This was it. She was asking me to lay everything down… what I could bring and offer her. I simply hoped it was enough. “To be worthy of you. Because I could be. Just give me a fair shot.” She looked unconvinced, but I wasn’t finished yet. “I can’t get you out of my head. You’re stuck in it. I want what we had before, Stella. I want that simplicity of being you and me.” We were marvelous together. My father had to come in and wreck what I had again while my poor choices afterwards had driven her away.