Falling For My Husband (British Billionaires) (27 page)

“I want to make amends for my past mistakes. I’m not ready to let you go. I’d do anything. I swear, I will try harder.” I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I was too frightened that I might not be able to control myself and devour her. That would throw away any chances I had left of getting her back. “I can treat you better than Derek or any other man out there.
Stay
, stay and live with me.” My chest felt like it was going to combust from the emotions running rampant inside me; my thoughts rankled at envisaging her with those men. “I need you.”
Badly. Desperately.

It seemed that my pleas weren’t being heard. Stella simply looked like she had made up her mind. I watched in agony as tears pooled in her stunning eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t,” she whispered, unyielding to my needs, wants and desperation.

I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel yet… one more…

“Why?
Tell me
, I’ll make it all better. If you want me to take some weeks off work so we could spend some time together, I would be more than willing. I won’t even drive any sports cars, knowing how much you hate me driving so fast. I could trade it in for a four-door vehicle. All you have to do is tell me.” Each word was shot out one after the other while I watched her tears fall down her face. “Tell me, Stella, anything is better than your rejection. I won’t settle for that. I just bloody won’t. I’m not ready to let you go. We’re not over.”

Unconsciously, my forehead touched hers. The sudden effect of her skin and her smell brought out sadness that I couldn’t explain. Yet, there I was, full of melancholy. “How could it be over, when I barely had you? We’d barely even begun…”

“No.”

I felt her breath against my lips. She was
so close
, yet so fucking far. I was having a hard time reaching her. “Then tell me what to do because I’ll do it.”

Stella moved her face to the side, tears freely flowing before she tested how far I’d go to get her back. “Love me.”

Love. Did it always come back to that? The word sent me to Heaven and Hell. It shot me into darkness. For years, I was imprisoned in its cells—it’s begrudging grasp—but Stella had made it all go away. So if it was what she was after… then I had no choice. “All right, if that’s all it takes for you to come back, then I love you.”

Stella’s palm flew and connected to my cheek before she pushed against my chest, making me back off. “
Do you think this is a fucking joke?
” she hissed like a banshee, eyes wide and ready to draw blood.

What the bloody hell? “
It’s what you wanted!
” I shot back, rubbing the spot where she had slapped. “It was what you asked, wasn’t it?” I frowned, baffled at her reaction.

“
It is
, but I want it to be real, Cal!” she raged on. “So don’t insult me by your half-hearted attempt of pretending that you do! Not only is it insulting, but it’s downright humiliating.” She sniffed. “We both know that you’re not capable of giving me that. That’s why we’ll never work. I want to be loved, too. That’s not so much to ask, is it?”

No, of course not. She deserved everything… but I could give her everything except for the love that I didn’t feel in my heart. “Stella…”

“Please. Leave.”

Hope was diminishing before me quickly and I was grasping at threads. “Stella, listen to me please.”

She shook her head, unwilling. “No, Callum. This is where it ends.” She strode towards her bed and sat down with her back to me. “If you care for me at all, if you wish me happiness, you’re going to sign those papers so we can both move forward.”

I growled my frustration, past knowing what to do any longer. Divorcing Stella wasn’t on the agenda. “There’s no fucking talk of divorce,” I thundered out, meaning every word of it. “I’d rather rot than let you marry another man.” If she wanted me out of her life, unbinding herself legally from me wasn’t an option.

“Have it your way, just get the fuck out. I don’t want you here.”

Right, she was ejecting me out of her home. “We have to finish this.” I tried to reason, however she was beyond my reach.

“Get. The. Fuck. Out.”

Stella wanted me gone. Out of her life. What more was there to do when she simply was on a mission to find herself another man? If she truly loved me at all, she wouldn’t push me out knowing very well that I wanted her in my life. It counted for something, but to her, it wasn’t enough.

I
wasn’t enough.

My eyes gathered her sobbing form. Each racking sound gutted me inside out. With a deep breath, I silently bid her goodbye. I wished her the best and hoped that she would find the kind of happiness and love that she longed for so much.

I suppose I should be glad that I wasn’t in love with her because if I was, I was sure another problem would arise that would separate us. It was a good thing then, wasn’t it?

At the end of the day, we saved ourselves from wasting time on each other.

Each step I took dragged me back into the luring pull of the darkness, back into its familiar embrace.

I was a man who had everything… and yet, I felt like I was worth nothing.

Just like old times
, I mused when I saw a missed call from Andrès Franco. “Welcome back to your old life, Callum,” I muttered as I dialed the call back button.

Chapter 34

Stella

After that colossal confrontation I’d had with Callum, I decided to stop dating.

Before, it had been great to think that I could easily forget him by seeing what was out there, but who was I kidding? It wasn’t going to happen any time soon.

Even Clive, I really liked him. If the time came that I was ready to date, I might give it another try with him, but as for now, I would remain all on my lonesome.

So here I was, finishing up my breakfast on a Saturday while listening to Rachmaninoff as I gathered the fresh blooms I had purchased at the shop earlier this morning, when I heard the buzz of the doorbell.

Striding towards the intercom, I pushed the button. “Who is it?”

“There’s a delivery for Ms. Von Berg.”

Okay?
I thought as I pressed to let the man into the building.

The package was from Callum.

With shaky fingers, I opened it with my heart lodged in my throat. All the time, I kept thinking what was in it.

The present contained a large, heart-shaped diamond and ruby pendant with a thin gold chain. It was beautiful, don’t get me wrong—
but why a necklace?
My question was soon answered when I opened the handwritten letter it came with.

It is exactly a week from since I saw you last…

You asked for my love and I couldn't give it to you.

I wished I could take out my heart and hand it to you so I could prove my worth, I would gladly do so, but since that’s asking for the impossible, I’m all but incapable of being worthy of you.

So here’s an emblem of my heart. Keep it with you. Keep it safe. It may be cold and hard from the surface, but it never weakens.

It is forever withstanding and forever it remains. I’m gifting it to you, so it shall be forever yours.

With this, maybe it might just bring you everything you’ve been wishing for.

Best,

Callum

“Oh God.” I choked back a sob as my eyes blurred at the words he had written me.

His words were powerful, heart twisting and blatantly sad because it seemed like he really wanted to…
but simply couldn’t
.

I stared at the deep crimson pendant and kissed it before curling up and crying my heart out. How could I stop loving a man who was willing to give up his own heart simply so he could prove that he was serious and worthy of me?

It was due to my own selfishness that we were both miserable, yet even racked with this all-consuming pain, I wanted—
yearned
—for his love. That was the only way I could be back in his life, I wouldn’t settle for anything less.

So, we resumed to our old ways.

He lived his life.

I lived mine.

Separately
.

It had been almost a month since I had heard from Callum personally. However, he had been making headlines as of late, partying until the break of dawn around the Spanish coast along with his other playboy friends.

I stopped following his “progress” after news broke that he went jet-skiing at midnight, naked to boot. Yeah, the crazy devil-may-care attitude was back. I cringed, thinking that he was putting himself in danger again, but that was what he lived for. He was an adrenaline junkie. I just didn’t get the chance to see it first hand.

He had been a lot tamer with me.

So after the article I read about him doing crazy midnight stunts, I decided to steer clear from any gossip and society magazines.

It was three in the afternoon and I had just gotten back from food tasting with Luciana for one of our main events when Ally buzzed through.

“There’s an Eleanor demanding to see you,” Ally informed me through the speakerphone.

“Did she say what she wanted?”

“No,
but I could ask
if you want me to,” Ally whispered.

This was what I liked about her. She was fun and easy, funny when she didn’t mean to be. She had recently announced that she was expecting her first child with her boyfriend. I had to see if she and Sienna could train another person before she went on maternity leave. I knew she was only three months along, but these things took time. I didn’t want to panic and pester Ally when she was preparing to give birth.

With a heavy sigh, I answered her, “It’s fine, Al. Send her in.”

Of all the people to see me, I would never have guessed Eleanor. Could it be about Callum? I hoped it wasn’t too serious.

Standing up, I skimmed over my skirt and strode forwards, opening the door to greet the older woman.

I kissed both of her cheeks and gave her a tight hug. “Eleanor, lovely to see you, but I’m a little apprehensive about this surprise visit.
I hope it’s nothing serious?
” My paranoia and my over-active imagination were running overtime and I just had to ask, manners be damned.

When her eyes immediately turned serious, I stilled, waiting.

“I came to speak to you about something personal and I hope you don’t mind me interfering, but I came about Callum.” The distress in her voice was evident.

Callum
. Hearing his name alone resuscitated me. “How is Callum, Eleanor?”

She shook her head as I guided her towards the sofa to sit. “He’s alive.”

I frowned at her response.
He’s alive?
I didn’t follow…

When she saw that I was taken aback with her answer, she filled me in. “He got into an accident last night.
Have you not heard?
It was all over the news. He was speedboat racing with that Greek actor and that Italian guy.” She fanned herself. “They even have footage for it. Thank goodness they’re all okay.”

Accident. Speedboat. Racing,
again!

“Goodness,” I shakily whispered. My greatest fear had almost gotten him. He’d had a close call with death. It had been my only wish when I had asked him to keep away from racing, but he was doing a splendid job of proving he didn’t have to listen to it now.

My entire body froze, suddenly numb as I pictured what would have happened had he not managed to survive the accident. “Callum’s in a hospital, I take it?” I tried to sound unaffected, but failed to do so.

“He was for a bit.” Eleanor sighed, worried. “This is why I came here. He’s back to his old recklessness and I’m afraid for what this will do to him.” She reached for my hand, seeking my eyes. “You see, he had always had this streak, but it spiraled out of control after Zara. His grandfather died with worry. He’d already had a mild heart attack the day before, but when he heard of news that his grandson and only heir had smashed into a boutique window in Monaco and that Callum was being taken into emergency, the second attack wasn’t as kind as the first,” she continued with that shocking news. “He’s officially on leave.
Indefinitely
.”

“On a leave? Why? Is he hurt? Does he need therapy? A shrink? What?” Okay I sounded like a mad woman, but for the life of me, I couldn’t grasp how Callum—who was a workaholic—would easily give up work for no valid reason. Not only was it mind-boggling, but truly disconcerting.

I was beyond worried of what would happen if he continued on this path. What if he had a hard time harnessing this wild streak of his and decided to live life as a truly reckless, privileged heir like a lot of the people born with money?

“He’s chosen me as the person in charge while he’s on vacation. At my age, I want to think about traveling and Sunday luncheons and dinners, not the stock market, videoconferences and bloody meetings. I’m not prepped for these things and he knows it.

“You’re the only one I can think of that could get through to him, love. You have to help him,” she pleaded, beseeching. “He holds you in a high regard, Miss Stella.”