Falling for Rain (18 page)

This time she stood up more slowly. She shrugged the heavy, wet dressing gown off her shoulders and let it fall with a sodden thud to the floor. The thin silk nightgown, soaking wet, clung to every curve of her body. It was almost transparent, and Rain was not oblivious to its seductive effect. He could not take his eyes from the rosy nipple pressed against silk. Then slowly, as in an erotic striptease, she drew the nightgown slowly over her head and stood naked in front of him.

Her eyes were level with his chest, and when she raised her face to his he was looking down at her with those intense blue eyes.  Where moments ago they had expressed annoyance and anger, they now smouldered with blue passion. They stood there, only inches apart, and Emily became hotly aware of his eyes on her body.

It lasted only a moment. Rain averted his gaze and held out the dry bathrobe. His fingers brushed against her bare skin as she slipped her arms into the sleeves. She held the bathrobe modestly closed as Rain poured another glass of brandy. This time he didn’t offer her any but threw back the entire contents of the glass himself and set it back on the mantle. He leaned his elbows on the mantle, burying his face in his hands.

With a feeling of something like compassion mingled with lust, Emily reached out a hand to touch his back. But before her fingers could make contact, he straightened up again. He drew his hands through his hair to pull it back from his eyes and, without looking at her, grabbed the rest of her clothes and took them to the bathroom. He returned with a towel, which he practically threw at her. “Dry your hair,” he said roughly, all desire or even concern gone from his voice.

She let the towel fall at her feet. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she demanded.  "I should think you'd be happy that I saved your stupid cows."  She wasn't thinking of them as stupid cows anymore, but old habits
died
hard.

He reeled around to face her, his eyes flashing blue ice. 
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
 He was shouting. 
"What the hell is wrong with you?
  What the hell ever possessed you to go running into a burning barn?  You could have been killed.  If you'd been in there one minute longer, that ceiling would have fallen on your head and you'd be dead! Do you even know how close you came to death in there?!”

This was the first time tonight the idea that she might have been foolhardy entered her head.  At the time, she wasn't even conscious of having made a decision.  It had been simple: the barn was burning, the animals were inside, and she had to get them out. Once inside the barn, she knew the situation was dangerous, and she had worked quickly.
But that she shouldn't have been there at all had never crossed her mind.
  For the first time since the ordeal started, she began to feel frightened. And there was a terrible sense of
deja
vu
. Her mother’s body lying in the field flashed before her eyes.

She looked at Rain for a long time. The anger was gone from his eyes, and in its place was something she couldn't quite read. Despair?

"I think...," she started, becoming aware for a moment of the wind and the storm outside. It was warm and safe inside Rain's cabin.
The eye of the storm.
It was another one of those expressions that always made her think of Rain. In the centre of the turmoil was Rain, solid and safe.

"I think...," she repeated slowly. "I think I am more like my mother than I thought."

Rain bent over and picked up the towel that still lay at her feet. Standing behind her chair, he roughly towelled her hair. "I think you're a fool,” he said coldly. “Your mother died in an accident. She was not trying to be a hero. It was an accident.  There would be only one reason for your death: Emily Alexander ran into a burning barn. End of story." 

He threw the towel in her lap and poured the last of the brandy into the glass. He felt desperate and his words sounded cruel.  "Your mother, Emily, is dead.  She has been dead for over ten years. Get over it before you do something really stupid!"

Tears of hurt, fatigue, and frustration welled up in Emily's eyes.  She didn't need this right now. She needed comfort – and she needed it from Rain. However unwilling he was to provide it.  "Rain?" she pleaded quietly. 

"Go to bed, Emily," he said firmly, setting up the fire screen in front of the fireplace and blowing out the candles.. "I'll take the couch."

Emily resignedly pulled back the duvet on Rain's bed and, letting the bathrobe drop to the floor, slipped her naked body into the bed. His scent was on the pillows and in the sheets. She drank it in as she nestled into the feather mattress. Her feather mattress, she deduced. This was where it had gone to. She wondered if Rain had ever detected her scent in its soft depths. Laying on the edge of the mattress, her face to the fire, she immediately fell into a troubled, nightmare-filled sleep.

For Rain it was different. He did not have to sleep to experience his nightmares.  He lay on the couch that was too short for his tall frame and watched the play of light from the fire on the ceiling. Why had he treated her so roughly when all he had really wanted to do was take her in his arms and never let her go?
Fear.
Shock.
Panic.
Guilt.
All those things, he decided. Emily had no idea how close she’d come to death. He had literally snatched her from its claws. He had seen the flaming beam crash down only inches behind her.
If he hadn’t been there....
Oh god, he couldn’t have borne it.

And while Rain grappled with his fears, Emily dreamed. She dreamed of fire, only this time Rain wasn’t there for her. There were just
herself
and the cattle in the burning barn. In her dream she was frozen, unable to move as she watched the walls burn around her. Fiery beams smashed all around her, flames licked at her clothes, and the air was filled with the bellows of the terrified animals.

And then, above the noise of the animals, she could hear another sound.
Someone calling her name.
She peered through the smoke, looking for the caller.
Emily, help me
, the voice called over and over. It was coming from all directions.

Mom?
Emily asked weakly in her dream, recognizing the voice at last.
Where are you?
 

Over here.
Here. Here
, came her mother’s voice from all around.
Don’t leave me, here, Emily.
 

I won’t, Mom. Just tell me where you are.

But there was no answer. Emily was alone again with the bawling animals and the sickening feeling that it was all over. She couldn’t move, but she could scream, and she screamed for Rain to come and help her.

Rain jumped at the sound of his name. He could hear the terror in her voice and went to her, calling out her name. He sat on the edge of the bed and, gathering her in his arms, pulled her into a sitting position, cradling her head against his chest. He rocked her gently until she gradually became calmer. “It’s alright. I’m here,” he whispered as he stroked her hair.

Emily clung to him, her face pressed against his chest. In his strong arms she felt safe, and his calm voice soothed away the awful dream. Gradually her breathing became steadier, and she stopped shaking. She relaxed into his arms, submitting to his gentle caresses. “It was a terrible nightmare,” she whispered finally. “I was trapped in the barn with all the animals, and everything was burning. Mom was there too. I wanted to save them, but I couldn’t move.”

“It’s okay. I’m so sorry. It’s
all my
fault. I was angry with you earlier. I was just so scared....” He left the rest unsaid as he held her tightly in his arms. Feeling he would never be able to let her go again, he gently kissed the top of her head.

Emily felt his kiss against her hair, raised her head, and looked into his deep blue eyes. What she saw there could only be described as love, and she was filled with a confusing mix of love, gratitude, and desire. She became aware that his touch, so comforting, was now awakening a sexual longing. She reached up and touched his lips with the tips of her fingers. “Will you kiss me?” It was a whispered plea.

“Are you sure?” he whispered back.

“I won’t run away this time,” she promised.

“I know, but I feel like I’m taking advantage of you. You’ve been through so much tonight. Are you sure you won’t regret this tomorrow?” He pressed her against him and felt the warm pressure of her breasts against his chest. He ran a finger down her back and felt her shiver with desire under his hands. He wanted her so much, even more after the night’s events. She was more precious to him than ever before. More than when they were seventeen and twenty-three, more than earlier this evening when he had kissed her in the car. He had almost lost her tonight, and he had learned that he loved her more than he ever thought possible.

“Absolutely sure,” she said with heartfelt conviction.  Her hand travelled from his lips to hair. She buried her fingers in the thick waves, and, as he brought his face down to hers, and their lips met, any doubts that might have remained were gone. They drank in each other’s kisses greedily – heady, dizzying kisses made all the more electrifying by years of deprivation.

* * *

Entwined in each other’s arms, they were silent for a long time. Outside, the storm raged, but inside the cabin it was warm and peaceful. Rain stroked Emily’s hair and kissed her softly.

“Are you happy?” he asked against her hair.

Tears sprang to her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered simply.

“Good,” he said. “And this is only the beginning. It’s only going to get better.” Emily nestled closer to him, her cheek pressed against his chest. She let the tears flow, and Rain felt their warmth against his skin.
“Why the tears?”

“Because I’m so happy,” she said.
“And because I’ve wasted so many years being miserable, when I could have been this way instead.”

He held her tightly. “Will you promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Then no regrets,” he said emphatically. “What is past is past. We have the rest of our lives to be happy. Let’s not waste a minute bemoaning the past.”

“I promise,” she whispered, and they made love again, slowly and gently, falling asleep in each others’ arms, the final sigh of contentment still on their lips.

* * *

When Emily woke in the early morning, the wind had died and the rain had stopped. She reached for Rain, but he was gone. She rolled over and placed her head in the dent of the pillow where he had so recently lain, her cheek encountering the crackle of paper. She picked it up and unfolded it, holding it up to the weak sunlight coming through the window beside the bed.

Good morning,
it read.
I’ve gone to Don’s to see to the animals. After that, I have to go to the village and meet with the insurance company. In the meantime, the power is back on. Make some coffee and breakfast. Have a hot shower (I brought you some clothes from the house) and relax. I’ll be home as soon as I can. I love you. –Rain

Emily folded the letter and put it back on the pillow. She stretched luxuriously under the covers that were redolent with the scent of their lovemaking. Her body felt so blissfully warm and satisfied. There was a delicious ache between her thighs, a poignant reminder of the previous night’s delights, the memory of which sent a shiver of excitement through her body.

Following Rain’s suggestions, she got up and had a shower, the hot needles of water both reviving and arousing her. She felt that she had been awakened from a long night in which she had moved like a sleepwalker. It was so good to feel alive again.
To be happy again.
To love again.
It was as if she had come through fire in the metaphorical as well as the physical sense and, like a phoenix, was now renewed. Eventually, she stepped out of the shower and, drying herself with one of the thick towels on the rack, slipped on Rain’s bathrobe.

She put on the coffee and, while it was brewing, put more wood on the fire. It flared into a cheerful blaze while she went to pour herself a cup. This morning was the first good look she’d had at the cabin. As children, it was simply a place to play. Back then, the roof was caved in, the windows were missing, the chinking gone from between the logs. She had also come here on that awful day when she’d found her mother’s body, hiding in the empty fireplace until Rain had found her silent with shock hours later.

Now the cabin was tight, warm, and homey. It was one big room, the bathroom being a small addition on one corner. The kitchen area with its modern appliances was toward the back. At the front, one half consisted of the bed and sitting area with the big stone fireplace, couch, and comfortable armchairs, while the other half with desk and over-flowing bookcases was clearly where he wrote. Rain’s laptop sat closed on his desk in front of the window, and she smiled as she pictured him looking out over the lake as he worked on his book.