Falling Stars (57 page)

"Can
I watch next time?" He raised a brow and grinned.

"You
are such a perv," I shook my head and laughed.

A
week went by and Kat returned to the house. She never said where she
disappeared to, but I suspected she was giving Christopher and me some alone
time. The weekend after her return, I began having those fake contractions I read
about. They were worse at night, not painful, but annoying and uncomfortable.
This was the reason the three of us were awake at one in the morning watching
the Sci-Fi channel. When Chris's phone rang, we all looked at it in surprise.
He looked at the screen and rolled his eyes.

"What
the hell are you calling so late for?" He growled. There was a long pause.
"You did what?" he exclaimed. "Are you insane?"

Now
both Kat and I were intrigued.

"Jim,
you realize you hardly –" Chris shook his head. "Okay, okay, if this
is what you want. I just hope it's not a mistake." Another pause, "Sure,
we'll see you then."

Kat
and I were looking intently at Chris.

"What?"
He tossed his phone back onto the table.

"What?"
I looked at him in disbelief. "What was that about?"

He
sighed.

"It
was Jimmy."

"Really?"
I asked sarcastically. "I got that, why is he calling at one in the
morning. What did he do?"

"Apparently
he's a married man."

"What?"
My eyes snapped to Kat.

"It's
not me." She quickly cleared that up.

"It's
that girl he met around New Years, Natalia," I nodded for him to keep
going, "they went to Vegas and eloped."

"Is
he crazy?" Kat jibed.

"Obviously,"
I responded.

A
few days after the late night phone call, the newlyweds visited. Natalia had
long platinum blonde hair, blue eyes, fake breasts, fake tan, and was an
aspiring bikini model. Based on her appearance I wasn't surprised about her
career choice. What had stunned me was how damn smart she was. We sat talking
and I found out she'd graduated from UW with a double major; engineering and
mathematics. She was crazy smart and I felt like a judgmental asshole. Jimmy
and Natalia visited for four days and spent three nights testing the endurance
of the guest room bed. We could all rest assured that it in fact could handle
heavy use.

May
arrived. Christopher and I had finally gotten used to each other and my sexual
frustration was a thing of the past. We'd started to discuss names for our
daughter and Christopher's sessions were going well and regularly – in person
and over the phone. We discussed how we would proceed with our careers having a
new baby, introducing our families, and so forth. The end of May had brought
with it an ease and relaxation, but it felt like something was lingering and
waiting to happen.

It
turns out that the feeling was simply my natural instinct. Kat and I were going
shopping for baby stuff and I was on my way to meet her downstairs. A sharp
pain sliced at my side. I took a deep breath and when it subsided I continued
to go down the steps. Another pain shot around my stomach and once the wetness
spread in my crotch I knew I was in labor.

"Kat!
Christopher!" I tried to walk back up the steps. All the books said it was
painful, but I could barely walk at all. They needed to a little more detail
about this shit. I wanted to kill someone.

"Yeah?"
Kat came around to the bottom of the stairs.

Christopher
appeared at the top of the steps. When he saw me sitting halfway down them
holding my stomach, he rushed to me.

"What's
wrong?"

"Time…for…hospital,"
Panting, I gripped the banister when another, stronger pain hit.

"Can
you walk?" Kat appeared in front of me. I shook my head trying to breathe
through the pain. Kat disappeared upstairs.

"What
do I do?" Christopher asked me, but Kat answered.

"Sit
there and stay with her, I'll get everything else." Kat reappeared a few
minutes later with my bag and a change of clothes.

"Christopher,
help her down the stairs to the living room." She ordered.

Christopher
carried me down the steps. I cried out in pain and a tear escaped my eye.

"I'm
so sorry," he said in panic. I panted and tried to breath. The pain was a
part of this, but something felt off, wrong.

Kat
slid my pants off and slid one of my dresses over my head. They helped me out
to the car and Phillip rushed us to the hospital.

"Oh
shit!" I balled up my fists.

"What
can I do?" Christopher pleaded.

"Shut
the hell up!"

I
heard Kat giggle.

"I'm
so sorry Mia…I'm so –" he was so not helping me.

"Shut
up!" I grabbed his arm and squeezed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" The
pain subsided for a second. I tried to reclaim as much oxygen as I could before
pain returned.

"Why
did I let myself get in this situation?" I groaned. I inhaled and exhaled.

"Cause
you're a slut," Kat laughed.

"Fuck
you," I laughed back.

"Hmmm…that
would be how you got into this situation, maybe you shouldn't go around –"
I cut her off when I screamed. "Mia, is something wrong?" Kat's face
was full of worry.

*
* * * *

Finding
her on the stairs sent a wave of alarm through me. Seeing her in that much
pain, because of me, I wanted to die. I couldn't even imagine what she was
going through and from the sound of it, I won't lie, I didn't ever want to.

In
the car, she seemed to be okay, joking with Kat. However, she screamed like I'd
never heard before. When Kat got concerned, it put me into ultra panic mode.

"Mia,
is something wrong?" Mia couldn't even respond.

"Drive
faster!"

Phillip
accelerated way past the limit at my command.

Arriving
to the hospital Kat ran in and came back with a nurse and a wheelchair. I
helped Mia into the chair and we headed inside. There were photographers
waiting for our arrival and I wanted to punch every single one of them when I
heard the camera shutters.

They
situated her into a bed and attached her to some machines, assuring us, mainly
me, that everything was okay. I was a nervous wreck.

"I'm
going to go make some calls," Kat said with a half smile and walked out of
the room.

Mia
gripped my hand and squeezed when the pain hit, and from the looks of the small
monitor she was feeling it full tilt. I cringed and I think my balls even
shriveled a little.

"I'll
never get you pregnant again," I said in a hushed tone to the side of her
head before I kissed her temple.

"You're
damn right you woohhnn'tttt….." she squeezed my hand tightly until the pain
passed. "I may have to cut your balls off…I'm just saying," she
smirked lightly. I kissed her temple again.

Nurses
came in and out of the room, friends and family started to arrive. I only left
Mia's side when she forced me to get out for a few minutes. Nicholas and
Jackson were keeping a close eye on me as I paced around nervously. John
chuckled about my behavior and then reminisced about when Serena and Mia were
born. Gwen and Serena kept trying to reassure me everything was fine, but
something felt wrong. It was looming in the air around her. Fear was swimming
inside of me. The doctor pulled me aside out of the room when I was about to
walk back in.

"She
is barely making progress and her contractions are very strong, so we may have
to help this along soon." She smiled reassuringly. "Everything is
fine, this happens." I took a deep breath and nodded.

"What
about the pain?"

"We're
going to get the anesthesiologist down here to get her taken care of," she
smiled and walked away.

I
took a deep breath trying to ease the worry from my face before I headed into
the room. Mia was trying to rest. The lights were out and she was on her side
gripping the bed railing.

"Hey,"
I whispered.

"Hey,"
she whispered raggedly.

"I
love you Mia." She smiled at me and gripped the railing hard, but no noise
left her mouth, which was different from before. "Mia?" She didn't
respond and her arm fell slack onto the bed.

"Mia!"
I grabbed her face. Tears fill my eyes and I blinked them away. "Mia! Baby!"
A group of nurses rushed into the room and surrounded the bed.

"Sir,"
a nurse tried to move me out of the way. "Sir, you need to move, please,"
she yelled.

"Mia,
please baby…" I cried and shook her.

"Sir!"
The doctor entered in swift motions. The nurse muttered words I didn't want to
hear.

"Both
her and the baby's stats have dropped, doctor."

"Get
the OR ready," she ordered.

Two
or three sets of hands pulled me away, prying my fingers from her, before I
could snap out of it.

"Mia!"
I pushed forward.

"Christopher,"
Jackson yelled. "Come on, let them work."

"Come
on, man," Elliott coaxed. Then Jimmy was in front of me helping to get me
out of the room. I fought against them.

"No!
Let go! Mia!" They pinned me against the wall. I struggled to get free,
but then tried using the breathing techniques I’d learned in rehab to calm
myself.

When
they rushed Mia out of her room on a gurney, the breathing didn’t work. I lost
all control. The red haze filled everything. I started shoving at the arms
restraining me. I had to get to her.

"Christopher,
let them help her!" Jackson grabbed at me. "They'll come get you,
just –" I couldn't hear anything else because the haze now accompanied
with a humming in my ears. Fury had won.

"Mia!"
"Let me go!"

I
broke free and started down the hallway, but felt a large mass against my back.
Then I felt the cold wall against my cheek. I snapped my head toward Laney
whose tears stained her face with black mascara. The arms around me tightened,
but not hurtfully.  I was being embraced.

"Let
them help her." Nicholas’s voice sounded rough.

"Mia,"
I broke into sobs. Gwen appeared next to me.

"Let
him go," she ordered.

She
pulled me into her embrace and sank against the wall with me. Rocking me like a
child as I sobbed into her shoulder.

"Mia,"
I cried. "Mia."

"It
will all be okay, darling. Hush now." Gwen tried to soothe me. "They'll
take care of her."

"Son,"
Nicholas knelt down and placed his arm on my shoulder. I tossed it off me.

"Mia!"
I moved to get up Nicholas wrapped his arms around my chest again and pulled me
to him, my back to his chest.

"Son,
it will be okay," he held me as I fought him, but I grew tired and
defeated. I was losing her. I was going to lose them both. My life was crashing
down around me and everyone was watching. I was no better than he was. It was
my fault. I'd caused this.

The
wretched sob that ripped through my chest halted everyone in that hallway. I
collapsed with one last sob. "Mia."

Chapter
Twenty-Eight

Christopher
just spoke before the sharp pain shot from my back to my groin, and down my
legs. Then I didn't feel anything. Darkness surrounded me and I felt at ease. I
thought I heard Christopher's voice and I tried to tell him it was okay, but I
couldn't. Nothing worked anymore.

I
was aware of people around me. My body twitched and I shifted, but I couldn't
feel it or see anything. Dread set in, but then a wave of calm took over again.
I slipped further into darkness and calm.

Coldness
crept over my body, starting at my toes. Slowly the cold moved over my ankles,
up my legs, though my abdomen and chest. The chill crawled through my arms from
my fingertips. As the coldness took over my body started to twitch back to
life. My jaw chattered my teeth together. I couldn't control the movements of
my body. It was unsettling and panic became the forefront of my emotions.

Beeps
caught my attention and I started to count them, which helped bring me out of
the panic. The twitching intensified to an uncontrollable shake, my arms
hitting the bed railings. Then a thought occurred in the midst of my
frustration.
My baby. Where was the baby? Was she okay? Was she with
Christopher?

During
my silent questioning spots of white started to appear. Slowly my eyes began to
crack open, flinching from the harshness of the bright light. I turned my head
to the side and saw a woman in blue scrubs standing next to me.

"Hey
there," she smiled at me. "Finally awake I see."

Lifting
my hand a little to shield my eyes, I felt a tug on my arm. The IV line
attached to my arm was hooked on the bed railing. I tried to speak, but only
coughed.