Falling Under (4 page)
A jeweled pewter goblet was thrust into my hand, and I surveyed the scene in wonder. Tables sheeted in red and black cloths were laden with food and drink. The revelers, costumed in silk and lace, smiled garishly at one another and carried on muted conversations without moving their lips, their faces made up like those of lurid clowns.
The orchestral quartet drew my gaze as they started a haunting new song similar to the one that had led me to the gazebo. But it wasn’t the song that held my attention. It was their appearance. Much like the man standing next to me, they were dressed formally—black tuxedos and top hats. But where their faces should have been, instead they bore only flesh with no features.
I gasped in horror. “What is happening?”
I turned to my host, and his face clouded briefly with what looked like regret. Quickly, he returned his debonair mask over his features. “You look lovely.”
I wanted to scream or cry with frustration. I was frightened by what I was seeing, what I was feeling, but instead I answered, “Thank you.”
He smiled and it was beautiful and horrible what I saw in it. Hope that should not be born and desire that could never bear fruit. Whether they were my feelings or his, I did not know.
My fingers relaxed on the stem of the goblet and it slipped through my hands. In slow motion, the cup fell to the ground, spilling bloodred liquid throughout its descent.
I awoke in my bed, my nightgown stained red.
I leaned against the lockers waiting for Amelia to fetch her binder. I was so tired they needed to make a new word for tired. Every time I blinked, I swore the backs of my eyelids were made of sandpaper.
Being friends with Donny, who worked in the admin office and
knew
things, also meant Ame and I got lockers in the Main instead of over the hill and dale where other juniors floundered between classes. It was auspicious considering that usually only seniors and sneetches were able to snag the coveted location.
knew
things, also meant Ame and I got lockers in the Main instead of over the hill and dale where other juniors floundered between classes. It was auspicious considering that usually only seniors and sneetches were able to snag the coveted location.
The Main was really the
old
high school—a two-story brick monster. Several decades ago, they expanded the campus, adding buildings that made it really hard to get to class on time because they were spaced so far apart. The closer you were to your senior year, the more classes you had in the Main. Also housed in the Main were the library, admin services, the student store, and the student lounge—aka Sneetch Central—in the corridor outside the library.
old
high school—a two-story brick monster. Several decades ago, they expanded the campus, adding buildings that made it really hard to get to class on time because they were spaced so far apart. The closer you were to your senior year, the more classes you had in the Main. Also housed in the Main were the library, admin services, the student store, and the student lounge—aka Sneetch Central—in the corridor outside the library.
“I have play practice after school tomorrow if you want to come over after,” Ame said, then stopped. “You’re really pale. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Nodding, I pushed off the bank of lockers. “I just haven’t slept well the last two nights.”
She dug in her pocket and handed me a quartz crystal. “This one restores energy. If you can keep it on your skin, it will work better.”
I nodded, pretending I believed her.
“I’m serious,” she said, reading my ambivalence. “I even bathed it in the healing powers of the waterfalls.”
I didn’t want to patronize her, really I didn’t. But I didn’t believe all the stuff about the “mystical” waterfalls like she did.
Our town, Serendipity Falls, was named for the nearby waterfalls of the same name. They were our town treasure—our tourist bait. Not only were they gorgeous, but there were several old legends attached to them, enchantment being one of them. Water nymphs, healing powers, love potions—the pool fed by the cascading water was said to have all that and more.
“Put the crystal in your bra,” she suggested, knowing I would do no such thing. “How are things with your dad?”
“Same as always, I guess.”
Amelia always felt it was incredibly sad the way my father overcompensated for my lack of a mother. She made excuses for his irrational behavior based on his losing his one true love. I guess she’s the romantic of our trio. Donny pretty much thought my father was the devil. It never occurred to me to think of him one way or the other. Father was who he was.
My mind wandered back to my strange dreams from the last two nights. They were, of course, dreams. Though I wouldn’t rule out sleepwalking, as I now had two ruined nightgowns that proved I’d been outside. Which was really disturbing. I thought maybe I should ask Father’s secretary to make me a doctor’s appointment
.
Sleepwalking outside was dangerous.
.
Sleepwalking outside was dangerous.
As we walked down the hall, I pulled the band out of my hair to ease my growing headache and finger-combed my curls. As we passed the windows of the admin office, time blurred into slow motion. I shivered and a rush of cold seeped into the marrow of my bones as if someone had just stepped on my grave. And danced on it as well.
It was him.
He’d traded his coat and tails for jeans and a tight Abercrombie and Fitch tee, but it was him. I would have known him anywhere.
I blinked slowly, believing he was a mirage. A very handsome mirage. But I didn’t have the power to dream cute boys into life. When he didn’t disappear, part of my heart sang and part of it worried that I’d never be the same again.
He looked right into my eyes. He didn’t smile, but he didn’t drop his gaze either. Life carried on around us, but we were trapped in a different moment than the rest of the students in the crowded hall and office. The noisy corridor suddenly quieted, like someone had clicked the MUTE button. Though he didn’t physically move, I
felt
him take a bow, deeply, like he had the night before.
felt
him take a bow, deeply, like he had the night before.
Oh, I never would be the same again.
His presence in my waking world stirred all my senses. Still in slow motion, I kept walking, warmed wherever his eyes touched me. When I finally dropped eye contact, the world caught up with me—or the other way around.
Ame grabbed my arm. “Are you all right? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Please keep walking,” I squeaked.
She slung a protective arm around me and ushered me into the nearest bathroom. I slumped against the wall, trying to catch my breath, but my lungs didn’t want to work, and I exhaled when I should have inhaled.
“What is wrong with you? Do you need the nurse? Should I call your dad?”
I shook my head, which did nothing for my already poor balance. “No. I just need a minute.”
The door burst open and the surge of energy that always followed Donny came in with her. “Oh, my God. Tell me you saw him. He is undeniably … hey … what’s wrong?”
Amelia answered. “She just freaked out. It was the weirdest thing. We were walking down the hall and everything was fine. Then she—”
“You saw him, right?” My voice sounded foreign to me—desperate. I still wasn’t breathing right. “The boy in the office? He was really there?”
“The smokin’ new guy? Yeah, I saw him—” Donny’s face lit up. “Oh, wow! Finally you get the hots for someone. I was beginning to think you might sway the other direction, if you know what I mean. This is great. I mean, I’m a little perturbed that I don’t get him first—but, you know, I’m willing to sacrifice one boy for the greater good if it means you’ll finally get laid.”
“You are the opposite of classy, Donny.” Amelia was still rubbing my arm. “Is that what this was about? Love at first sight?” Ever the romantic.
“Oh, Jesus, Ame.” Donny opened her purse, pulling out makeup. To me, she said, “We are going to get a little color back on your face and then you are going to talk to Hottie McTightPants before some other ho snags him.”
“Wait. There’s more… .” Ame and Donny exchanged glances, worried glances. I guess I was being a touch dramatic, but who wouldn’t be? “I had this really weird dream last night. And
he
was in it.”
he
was in it.”
“You dreamt about him. Oh, that’s wonderful. You’re so lucky.” Amelia practically swooned. “It’s like a fairy tale.”
“You’re so retarded.” Donny thrust her purse at Ame and pushed her to the side so she could grab both my shoulders. “Tell me all about the dream. Was he kinky?”
“No, he wasn’t kinky. Well, maybe he was—I don’t know, he was kind of weird … but you’re missing the point. I dreamt about him
before
I saw him.”
before
I saw him.”
Amelia was going to need a chair. “That’s so amazing. Maybe you knew each other in a former life and you just now found each other again.” Amelia wasn’t just a romantic; she was also a metaphysical junkie. Tarot cards, dream interpretation, crystals, past-life regression—if it made it to the shelf of the metaphysical bookstore, Ame was a rapt pupil.
Donny wasn’t fazed by my revelation—or Ame’s. “He’s probably been in town a day or two before he started school. Maybe you saw him when we were getting gelato or something.”
I exhaled and the tension whooshed from my body. “You’re right. I’m sure you’re right.” That made much more sense than dreaming up a guy from thin air. Which reminded me of the burning man, and suddenly I felt not good again. “I feel like my life has taken a turn for the strange.”
Donny was applying blusher to my cheeks even though I tried to move my head away from it. “Stop squirming. Deciding you like boys doesn’t mean your life is getting strange. It means you’re finally growing into your hormones. Let’s go out there and get him, tiger.”
She and Amelia each grabbed an arm and took me into the hall, despite my dragging feet. Once we got to the office, my heart plummeted. He was surrounded by students—two of them cheerleaders, one of them holding his new schedule, obviously ready to show him to his class. As much as I hated to admit it, he looked natural at the center of the beautiful people.
“Oh, God,” Amelia said, scrunching her face. “He’s crawling with sneetches.”
How long could my heart keep falling? It just dropped further and further, turning everything around me to a shade of gray. “It doesn’t matter.” I said it, but I didn’t mean it.
Everything about him suddenly mattered very much to me. Too much. The hole where my heart used to be ached. I didn’t think I’d ever seen anyone so attractive. I willed his dark eyes to look at me. I wanted to pull the other girls off him and be the only girl he shared that smile with. I wanted to know his dreams, his secrets … his name.
Donny gave me a little squeeze. “I’m as morally opposed to the sneetches as you guys are—but let’s cut him a little slack. He’s new—he doesn’t know how vile they are. Plus they probably descended on him like a pack of wolves on a rabbit.”
At that moment, the rabbit looked up and right into my eyes. He wasn’t helpless prey. Far from it. His eyes were nearly black and made him look more dangerous than any predator in the forest. An involuntary shiver racked my body—he actually smiled at my reaction. It wasn’t a happy smile, or even a pleasant one. It was an expression of pride, like he’d accomplished a strategic move on the chessboard. Or maybe trapped Bambi in a corner.
I became spoils of the hunt.
Even as he looked at me, he looked through me. And then he put his arm around a sneetch and whispered something in her ear without dropping his gaze from mine.
And I felt it.
I gasped at the sensation. As surely as if I were the one standing next to him, I felt his breath against my face, hottest near my ear.
He watched her.
Theia didn’t move like the other students. She considered every movement carefully, as if she was concerned that her body might do something without her. Like she was always reining something in.
The kind of control he would never have.
She dropped books off at her locker, glancing over her shoulder occasionally. No doubt she felt his presence. He checked his impulse to get her attention. He didn’t know if he could stand another interlude like the one this morning. Not without losing control.
He half hoped she would untether her hair again. The amber and honey curls were such a contradiction to her carefulness. They caught the light, spinning the colors in a whirling dervish of caramel and brown sugar.
Instead, she left the band around her ringlets, pulling the hair tautly away from her oval face. Her eyebrows were highly arched over her wary eyes, eyes the color of slate. The depth of her eye color changed with her emotions. Sometimes her eyes reminded him of the seas violent with storm. Other times they were as gray as a cemetery headstone.
He closed his eyes. Whatever had made him think coming here was a good idea abandoned him just as surely as his good sense had. Last night had been a mistake. One he hoped he’d be strong enough not to make again. She had no place in his world, just as he had no place in hers.
He hung back but kept her in his sights, wishing that his weakness didn’t make him feel like a common stalker. Even that would have been better for her than he was. Safer.
There were things to be done and his purpose was clear. He couldn’t afford this distraction; the price would be more than he could bear, and it wouldn’t be his alone.
For her sake, he needed to end this dalliance quickly. If she hated him, all the better.
But still he watched her. The heart that he wasn’t supposed to have blossomed in his chest, reaching for her even though the rest of him knew it could never be. Would never be.
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