Family Album (55 page)

And at the graduation the next day, she looked at all of them, quietly. Anne, so impeccably dressed in her expensive clothes, with little diamonds sparkling at her ears, her arm tucked in Bill's, Vanessa so pretty and serious in her cap and gown, Valerie so incredibly beautiful it was startling except that she seemed unaware of it, which was wonderful, and Lionel, who looked happier than he had in two years. Faye wondered if there was a new man in his life, but she never wanted to ask, and of course neither did Ward. What he did was his own business now, he was twenty-five years old after all, and they had accepted him, as they had all of them, though some of that acceptance was still unilateral, Faye knew. She knew that Anne was still angry at her for the child she had given up … Val still jealous of her success … Vanessa had grown away from her now … and Lionel had his own life … poor Greg was gone. She missed him now, as she so often did, that shock of red hair, the passion for sports, the girls he loved to chase. He had been closer to Ward than to her, but he was her son too, and she tightened her hand on Ward's arm, knowing that he would be thinking of him too, and it was painful for both of them.

But it was all laughter and smiles that afternoon when they went to the Plaza to celebrate. Faye had arranged for a table covered with white flowers in the Edwardian Room, and Vanessa was stunned beyond words when Ward handed their graduation gift to her. They had debated about it long and hard, and they had finally decided to include Jason too. It was a way of giving their approval to her way of life. They had given her two tickets to Europe, with a fat check to cover all their fun, and reservations at some of the finest hotels. It was going to be a fabulous trip for both of them, and Faye was relieved to hear that Jason could get away too, as soon as they moved to SoHo the following week. He had quit his job to work full time on his play.

“Well, you two, that ought to keep you out of trouble for a while.” Ward smiled at them. He still wished they would get married, but it didn't seem to be in the cards. At least not yet. And he was also wondering about George Waterston and Val. George had gone off with his son for the afternoon, but Ward was aware that Valerie was staying with them, and he was curious about how far the involvement went, and he hadn't said a word about it all day. And then of course there were Bill and Anne. And he seemed to get on very well with the rest of the mob. Anne had invited Gail, and she sat chatting with Lionel. She was crazy about her studies in design, her summer job with Bill Blass this year. And Lionel was talking animatedly about the film he was working on. Everyone was happy and young. It warmed one's heart to look at them as Ward told Faye, as they strolled slowly back to the Pierre, and then suddenly he tucked her arm in his, and pulled her to one side, spoke to a man standing next to a hansom cab, and the next thing she knew, she was driving around Central Park, with Ward holding her hand. He kissed her gently once or twice and she smiled. She was still crazy about him after a lifetime. “I must say, that's quite a group we've got.” His mind ran over them again as they clomped along through the park, and Faye didn't disagree with him. She hadn't said much to Val, and she hoped that George would explain it to her. He knew her methods of working well. “You're better-looking than all of them though, babe.”

“Oh my love.” She kissed him and smiled. “Now I know you're as crazy as I always thought.”

“Just crazy about you.” He kissed her again then, and they held hands together for a long time, happy with each other and their lives. They had come a long, long way side by side.

CHAPTER 42

“Do you want to go to dinner tonight, sweetheart?” Anne shook her head as she lay on the bed at the Pierre. It had gone well after all, even though she really hadn't wanted to come, but Bill thought they should, and it was a good excuse to see Gail. Seeing Gail had been what finally convinced her. He even offered her a trip to Europe, with New York as a stop on the way, but she wasn't in the mood, and she was so tired again. She had been for months, ever since the first miscarriage. She never really seemed to have bounced back, and Bill worried about her.

“Why don't we order room service and eat here?” She knew that Gail was going somewhere with Lionel. She enjoyed his company and she had a lot of gay friends, Anne hadn't wanted to go along. She thought that Bill would be bored, and she knew she would too. And Jason and Vanessa were going to celebrate, Val had her movie star, and she had no desire to see her parents. Once in a day was more than enough for her. But Bill thought it a shame to waste a night in New York.

“Are you sure?”

“I really don't feel up to going out.”

“Do you feel sick?” It was beginning to remind him of when Gail's mother had first been sick, and he wanted her to go back to the doctor.

But when they got back the next week, she resisted him. “I don't need to see the doctor. I feel fine.” She looked at him stubbornly and he wouldn't give in to her this time. Some things were just too important to him, and she was the most important of all. He never wanted to lose her. Ever.

“You don't feel fine. You feel like hell. You wouldn't even go out with me in New York.” She had ordered room service and gone right to sleep, and she was doing almost the same thing every night. And he had the feeling she was sleeping all day too. “If you don't make an appointment yourself, I'll do it for you, Anne.” And in the end, that was exactly what he did. He made the appointment, pretended to pick her up for lunch, and took her to his doctor in Beverly Hills. She was furious.

“You lied to me!” It was one of the few times she had screamed at him, but he led her inside like a little girl, and she glowered at them both. But the doctor found nothing wrong with her. Her glands seemed fine, her chest was clear, her blood count was all right, and then without saying anything to them, he had an idea. He did the test with the blood he had taken from her arm, and he called Bill with the results that night, and he was stunned when he heard. Stunned and thrilled and afraid. She was pregnant again. This time he hadn't even thought of it. And he was afraid to put her through another disaster again.

“Just have her do what she's doing now. Her body knows what she needs. She needs lots of rest, good food, as little stress as possible. All she has to do is lie low for a couple of months and she'll be fine.” Bill nodded, and went into the other room to talk to her. She was watching TV, and she was thinking of calling Gail, and he encouraged her to now, with a quiet smile.

“I think you should, sweetheart.”

“How come?”

“To tell her the news.”

“What news?” Anne looked blank.

He leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the lips, “The news that you're pregnant again.”

Her eyes grew wide. “I am? Who told you that?”

“The doctor just now. He just called. He didn't even tell us he was running the test, but you are.”

“I am?” She looked stunned and then suddenly she threw her arms around his neck, fighting back tears. “Oh Bill …” She didn't even dare say the words this time. She didn't even tell Gail. She didn't tell anyone, until the ominous three-month period had passed, and this time all went well. By September, the doctor was no longer concerned, and the baby was due in February, possibly on Valentine's Day. Her other child would have been five and a half years old by then, though neither of them mentioned that. They just talked about this child, and Bill knew how badly she wanted it. He treated her as though she were walking on eggs. They took no trips, barely went out, Anne rested constantly, and Bill spoiled her even more than he had before.

Faye called her several times, and told her she hoped it was all going well, but Anne's voice was cold on the phone. She and her mother had been through this before, and she remembered the pressure she had put on her then. She hated talking to her now, because it reminded her of it. She even hated talking to Lionel, because it reminded her of living with him and John, waiting for her first baby to be born.

Gail called them as often as she could from New York, and asked how big she was. Anne laughed and claimed she was huge, and when Val saw her one day on Rodeo Drive, she laughingly agreed. It was November by then, and they had finished the film a month before. It was being edited day and night, because Faye wanted it released over the Christmas holidays. Everyone was working on golden time by then, but they wanted it eligible for the next Academy Awards so it had to be out by year's end. And when Anne ran into Val, she noticed that George Waterston was parked in his Cadillac at the curb, waiting for her. She couldn't help wondering if they were still “just friends,” as Val claimed. But one thing was sure, Val looked even more beautiful than before, and she was picking up a dress at Giorgio's for a party that night. Anne had just been in to pick up a few things to wear over the holidays. Bill wanted her to get out a little bit and she had outgrown everything she owned, even her maternity clothes.

“How do you feel?” Val asked, and she seemed genuinely concerned. All of them knew how much the baby meant to her, and why. And Anne laughed now. She was enjoying her pregnancy, in spite of the discomforts of it.

“I feel fat.”

“You look great.”

“Thank you. How's everything with you?” They rarely called each other anymore. It was difficult to believe they had grown up in the same house once. But they hadn't really. Val had grown up only recently, and Anne had grown up at Bill's.

“I just got an offer for another role.”

“Not with Mom again, is it?”

Val was quick to shake her head. Working with her mother had been an experience she would never forget, and she would always be grateful for it, but she wasn't anxious to do it again soon. Most of the actors who worked for her said that, even George. “Once in three years is about it with her,” he had said, and Val figured it was true. “No, with someone else.” She named the director and the stars and Anne was impressed. “I haven't decided yet. There are a couple of others I might do.” Her career had finally taken off, “overnight,” after five years of screams. Anne was pleased for her. And that night she told Bill.

“She's going to be the hottest thing in Hollywood one day. Just like your Mom was once.” It was easy to believe now, she was talented and beautiful and she had that smell of success about her. You could just see she was someone when she jumped out of a car, not like the old days in a tight black dress and sequined high heels at 10
A.M.
She had come a hell of a long way, and Anne thought George was responsible for the happiness she saw in Val's eyes.

“I think they're more than just friends, don't you?” She was trying to get comfortable in a chair but it was impossible until he put some pillows behind her and she thanked him with a kiss.

“I think so too. But I think they're smart to keep it quiet. He's a big star, and they don't need the headache of all that publicity.”

In fact, they had kept it from everyone, even Dan, for as long as they could. But eventually, they had had to tell him, and now Val was quietly living with them in the Hollywood Hills, in a beautiful house that was entirely walled in, surrounded by thick trees. Even the
paparazzi
hadn't caught onto them yet, and it had been going on for three months. Val had never been so happy in her life. When they'd come back from New York and gone back to work on the film, something different seemed to have happened between them. They were so close they understood every breath, every pause, it was like magic on the set every day, and Faye felt it too and was thrilled by it.

She didn't interfere with them, she just let it roll, and by August, when Dan went away with his Mom, Val quietly moved in with George. They explained it to Danny when he came back, and George was even talking about getting married, although neither of them was in any rush. They wanted time to be sure. And Val was sure it was going to come out one of these days, but they were ready now. In fact, they were waiting for it.

“Do you think you could stand living here forever, with an old man, and a young boy?” He was kissing her neck the afternoon she had run into Anne, and told him how huge she was.

“It sounds like the good life to me … of course,” she put on a wistful face that convinced even him, “it's not as nice as where I used to live before I moved here.”

George gave a roar and tousled the wild red hair. “You mean that whorehouse full of old hens? It's a wonder you didn't get arrested just living there!”

“George, what a thing to say!”

“It's true!” She had finally even told her parents she was living with him, and she was relieved that they were pleased. She was all grown up now, but somehow it still mattered to her, especially now, after working with Faye. She had new respect for her after what she had seen, and for the first time in her life she felt as though her mother respected her. She had even helped her find a new agent, and they had had a long talk one day after the movie was wrapped up.

“Val, you are very, very good. You know, your father thought that all along. He told me so. I have to admit, I had my doubts, but you're one of the best and you're going to go a long, long way.” Those words meant everything to her, and she couldn't believe she was hearing them from Faye Thayer.

“I used to hate you, you know.” It was a terrible thing to say and there were tears in her eyes as she did. “I was so jealous of you and those damn Oscars in the den.”

“They don't mean anything, Val.” Faye's voice was soft, but Valerie shook her head. “You five wonderful people are my Oscars.”

“I used to say they didn't matter, but they do. They mean how hard you've worked, how good you are. And you're wonderful, Mom … you really are the best.” The women had both cried then, holding each other close, and Val was still warmed by the memory. She had finally made peace with her. It had taken a long time, but she had. And she hoped that Anne would one day too. The ghosts would never leave her eyes until she did, and she said that to George too. She told him everything. He had become more than just her lover, he was her very best friend.