“Brad, I wanted to tell you.”
“You should have.”
“Hanna wanted to tell you, but I begged her to keep my secret until I could figure things out. Please don’t be mad at her.”
“I’m not. I know you two are close.”
They sat quietly for a moment.
“What about James?”
“Exactly. What about James?” she said bitterly. “He wants me to have an abortion. And, from the last time I saw him, it appears he’s taking no time moving on.”
“Figures.”
“I was going to schedule one, this week actually. But then I got the call from Meg. I need to find her, Brad.” Two girls walked by and she waited for them to pass beyond earshot. “I feel like Mom wants me to find her. Our sister, not Meg. I don’t know what the right decision is, but I need to do this and fast. I don’t know if talking to her will help me make a choice or not, but I have to see.”
“How far along are you?” He asked.
“Right around ten weeks.” Brad understood the urgency. There was a point of no return when three options turned into two. He knew she was scared and he was scared for her.
“How can I help?”
“You can’t. You’re leaving for the show.”
“No, no…Karsen, I’ll just tell them I can’t participate. This takes precedence.” He could hear his own words coming out of his mouth and felt his dreams disintegrating.
“Oh, Brad, you can’t! I can’t…I won’t let you do that!”
“K, you can’t do this alone. I promised Mom when you decided to come to school here that I’d take care of you. Now that she’s gone, I won’t go back on that promise.”
Karsen knew what this sacrifice meant. This opportunity may not come again no matter how talented he was. This was his shot. She leaned forward, placing her forehead on his chest. His lean, track-built body was small compared to many men, but the size of his heart overcame his stature. She felt safe against him.
“Have you talked to Dad?” he asked.
“Not since the phone call. Seeing that it’s been over a week, he’s probably pretty pissed at me.”
“Maybe. But you owe him a phone call.”
She straightened up and tried to compose herself the best she could under the circumstances. “I know. And you owe Hanna a phone call.”
Karsen dialed tentatively, hoping her father would not answer so she could sheepishly leave him a voice mail.
“Hello?” answered the soft, familiar voice.
“Hi, Daddy.” She held her breath, waiting for him to speak, not knowing exactly what reaction to expect.
“Are you okay?” he asked. No scolding, no anger penetrated his voice.
“Yeah. I mean, I guess, considering.” She weighed her words. “Daddy, I’m sorry.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m sorry, too.” There were few intimate moments between them. They both hesitated uncomfortably considering what to say next.
“Mom would be so disappointed in me.”
“Maybe a little. She didn’t want you to face the same decision she had to make. It tore her apart. But don’t believe for a moment that disappointment undermines love. We both just wanted the best for you, Karsen.”
“I’m angry at her, Daddy. I keep thinking I shouldn’t be, but I can’t seem to let it go. She should have told me.”
“I know you can’t understand, honey. But, right or wrong, she did what she thought was best.”
“I guess.”
“Karsen, your mom had a small amount of life insurance. I had planned to put it away for you and Brad. I wanted to help when you got married or bought a home. But if you need it…I mean if money is weighing on your decision, you can have it now. I’m not your mother and I don’t have all the answers, but I’ll do what I can to help.”
“I know, Daddy…thanks. I’ll think about it.”
The women stared at Brad as he entered the sorority house. The scene in Hanna’s room had tickled its way through the entire clan like a bad game of childhood telephone where the story is hardly recognizable by the end. Brad wondered how distorted the account of his family had become through the layers of gossip. He scaled the steps and tapped on Hanna’s door.
“Come in.”
“Hey.”
“Hey.” She sat at her desk with her laptop open. “I was just downloading a movie. Thought it might take my mind off things for awhile.”
He walked over as she stood from her chair. His arms embraced her tightly. “I’m sorry,” he said, not letting go. “I didn’t mean to push you away. It’s all just too much. My Mom, this whole mess with Karsen.”
“I know. You don’t need to explain. I don’t blame you.” Hanna pressed her cheek into his chest until she could hear his heartbeat. She closed her eyes and lost herself momentarily with his arms curled around her. She couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.
“I withdrew from the show,” he said in a faint voice, which Hanna hardly heard.
“You what?” She pulled back and looked into his eyes with disbelief.
“I withdrew from the show,” he repeated.
“Brad, you …you can’t!”
“I had to.”
“But…”
“But nothing. Karsen shouldn’t be my responsibility, but I can’t let her go through this alone.”
Hanna rested her head back against his chest. “I know.”
“I could kill James.”
“You’re telling me.”
She pulled back again. “Brad, maybe it’s not too late. I can help Karsen. This could be your big break. Call them and tell them you made a mistake.”
“I can’t. Even if I went, I’d be too preoccupied to concentrate. At any rate, it’s already done. I called the producers before I came here. They’ve probably already filled my spot.”
Hanna could see the disappointment in his eyes. She reached up and pulled his face to hers. Her fingers felt prickly stubble over his typically smooth shaven skin. She kissed him softly. He responded immediately, kissing her passionately in return.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispered with a sense of urgency. She pulled away. He stood for a moment alone, wondering if his words frightened her off and watched as she quietly walked to the door. He sighed and smiled with relief as she closed it and turned the lock.
She walked back and stood in front of him.
“You won’t,” she whispered back into his ear.
He kissed her again. Together, they moved toward her bed.
“S
lide, Mommy! Slide!” Adelaide chanted.
Emily held her daughter’s hand as she slid down the playground sliding board, giggling with delight. Reaching the bottom, she slipped free of her mother’s grasp and raced back around and up the steps, then slid down again, over and over.
Addison smiled as she watched at Emily’s side. She had agreed to meet Emily because she missed her goddaughter, but Emily dared not tread on uneasy waters. Russell had not been a topic of conversation since their phone call at the office and Addison wanted it to stay that way.
Addison’s phone began to ring in her purse.
“It’s probably the office,” she said, and began to rummage through the Louis Vuitton for her cell.
“Let me take it,” Emily said in an attempt to stop Addison from being pulled into a lengthy business conversation. She knew her friend needed a break as much as she did, but Addison never seemed to turn off.
“Me talk! Me talk!” Adie bounced off the bottom of the slide and ran toward Addison.
“Hello?” Addison raised the phone to her ear, turning away from the toddler. Adie began to scream.
“MEEEE TAAALLLKKK! MEEEE TAAALLLKKK! WHAAAAAAAHH!!”
Emily grimaced and grabbed her by the hand.
“Adie, no! Aunt Addy is talking on the phone. Let’s go slide again.”
“Hello?” Addison repeated, as Emily dragged Adie away kicking and screaming.
“Ms. Addison Reynolds?” a man’s voice questioned.
“Yes, this is Addison Reynolds.”
Great
, she thought,
what now?
“I’m Nicholas Ross with the Indiana Adoption History Registry.”
“Who?” Addison froze.
“Nicholas Ross, ma’am.”
“What’s this about?” Addison’s anxiety rose, her smile replaced by a less attractive scowl. Emily could tell by Addison’s expression that the call was not what she expected.
“I’m a confidential intermediary. You are aware that you were adopted, correct?”
“Yes?”
“Well then, ma’am, we’ve been contacted by a member of your biological family. By law, they cannot contact you without your consent. Are you aware of the procedure?”
“What? NO!” Addison shouted. Emily’s head turned hearing the harsh tone in her voice.
“No, you are not aware, or no you do not consent?”
“No, I do NOT consent. I’m sorry,” stammered Addison, trying to regain her composure.
“Certainly, Ms. Reynolds, I understand. If you were to change your mind, you can call me back at this number, or our contact information is listed online.”
“Thank you.” She ended the call and hurriedly stuffed the phone back in her bag. Rising from the bench, she walked over to Emily.
“Who was that? Is everything okay?”
“Someone tried to contact me,” she said, visibly flustered.
Emily looked confused.
“Who tried to contact you?”
“My mother maybe? The man said he was an intermediary from an adoption registry service. He said someone wanted to contact me, but they can’t without my consent,” Addison continued.