Family Reunion (51 page)

"You call this time to adjust?! I’ve only known since Tuesday who you really are, this is only Thursday morning! Am I to adjust in this short time?!"

"No, but adjustments must start here and now. I know what you're up against so I would advise you not to put it off. The sooner you accept things the better. One thing is certain, there is not a thing you can do to change any of it. That is neither within your power nor mine!"

"It started within your power! I wouldn't have this problem to begin with if you had stayed with our own kind! I wouldn't have to worry about being placed here or there - or worry about being good enough, or just as good!" Rory griped.

Manny exhaled in disbelief. "Our? You said our, does that mean as
in, we white? Do I hear resentment at having a black mother? Is that what you're telling me?!" Manny questioned brusquely. Never had he imagined getting it from both sides. Here he was facing the hurt he tried to ignore from Mike resenting that part of him that was white only to stand before a son, who wished to be what
he
was, white – resenting that part of him that was black. Manny found that he resented Rory's attitude more than he had Mike's, which triggered his defences on behalf of Lena. In his mind and heart, she was, and would always be, as good as any white woman. He accepted that he might be biased based on his love and admiration for her, because in his heart she was better than any other woman he had ever known.

And here was their son saying in so many words she was not good enough to be his mother. Manny had to clamp down on his rising anger.

As for Rory, everything was happening too fast. He was simply confused and turned away from his father, swallowing a lump in his throat.
'Why God does everything have to be defined as either Black or White?'
He hated it! That division between men brought too much pressure upon the shoulders of those who were both black and white. "You don't understand, you just don't." He turned back to Manny, almost pleading to be heard. "I know what you're thinking but the truth is, whether you believe me or not ... I do love my mother. I know that now. Especially, when I saw those men trying to take her away. You don't know what it was like for me. There was a time, when I wanted her to love me. I didn't know then that there was a difference in us and what all had happened. All I knew was that she was my mother and I wanted her to hold me ... just once - just once a hug, even if in pretence - to show that she wanted me. She wouldn't. I remember several times trying to climb into her lap, but she would brush my hands away, or set me back on the floor. I didn't understand why my mama didn't love me? When I look at Mike and Hope and know how much she loved them, I resent them… regardless of the reasons why. They had something I never had. When she went away ... it was Sandra Sinclair, who gave me what she would not." He stopped and looked away wiping at his eyes, finishing wistfully, "I hate that feeling, of, nobody wanting me. I don't like it ...I don't like it."

Manny closed his eyes, who was there to blame? To him, certainly not Lena, in his eyes, she could do no wrong, there was no such thing as her not loving her own child. Her failure to show it had nothing to do with lack of loving him, but fear of loving him. He knew losing Mike and Hope had caused it, made her as she was with Rory. Yet, regardless of all of that, the damage had been done… nothing of the past could be changed.

"Rory." Manny called his name, wiping his hand over his face as
he tried for words to help soothe his son's pain. "What I say to you now, you can take to heart to hold. Ceś alena, your mother, does love you, she always has. True, I wasn't there to see the rejection, but had I been there when she needed me, there would have been no rejection. She is capable of nothing else but loving you. You have to believe that, and somehow you have to give her a chance." Manny stood from leaning on the coach and turned, opening the door. More coaches were pulling up as time for school drew near.

"Where you going?" Rory asked with a puzzled expression. "To my office and a few other places, I have a lot to set in order before Sunday. You’re free to go. What your teachers need to know can wait until tomorrow. I think enough has been said this day."

Manny climbed inside, reaching to close the door. Rory stopped him placing his hand on his father's. "Thank you...Manny...fath - father." His face blushed red, uncomfortable with calling Manny that. Manny smiled and nodded. "Tomorrow Rory, I'll be back. Be ready for it."

Rory nodded. "I will be." He stepped away from the coach; the door closed and off it went.

* * *

Chapter Eleven

"I can't believe it, he said that?" Lena asked incredulously as Hope was telling her about their visit to Webster Fields, and how Morris had welcomed them.

"He did, lots of times he sat telling me stories about you, like the time you went into labor serving him lunch, when you had Mike. He admitted that you were the best thing he ever won in a poker game. He said he knew it the moment he laid eyes on you, his exact words were, "I'll tell you now, ain't a fancy in the world like your mama. All the places I been, I still ain't seen one better, yessiree, she was somethin'." Hope finished.

"I would have never believed it...you know, he used to say that I performed black magic and had cast a spell on your father." Lena spoke softly as she sat sewing with Maria, Francis and Hope. Francis had a hard time believing the scene before her. In her mind, she could never be in love with a white man, especially one that had at one time been her master. Not after living under the one who had owned her before she’d ran away. Yet, Lena was in love with hers and he with her. What was so surprising to her was that after seeing them together, they looked
almost
normal. They failed to recognize what others saw, as if nothing was different about them. Even Leon loved this man who had welcomed her, Francis, within their fold.

For a moment she stared inquisitively at Lena, Lena took note and asked. "What's wrong Francis?" Francis shook her head and lowered it as she went back to her sewing, she was staying on the ship with them until Leon made living arrangements for her, which she felt strange about, after all, she wasn't his wife, or even his intended, at least he had not said so.

Manny had
her assisting Gaitsu and Lena and had given her money of her own. She hadn't a clue as to what she should do with it, so she stashed it away.

"You know, you needn't be hesitant about whatever it is on your mind, you can ask me anything." Lena murmured softly.

Francis looked up at her, and started to say something, then changed her mind after looking at Hope. Lena caught the unsure glance.

Hope tilted her head curiously, then blurted. "If you're going to be a part of the family, which I'm sure you will, there's no sense in biting your tongue, no one else here does."

Francis looked at Hope wondering at her statement of being a part of the family, seeing no evidence of that, she sat the claim aside. Chewing her lip nervously, she took a deep breath, faced Lena straight on and blocked Hope from her view in case she weakened and was not able to say what was on her mind.

"How you ...why you ... I – I’on see how ... you can be in love with him, you know, he-..." She shook her head, scared, not used to speaking out freely, “… he – wh-white.” She gulped; her heart took off beating madly to have said such a thing. Hope swallowed and stared, really having no idea that her father being white, was what was bothering Francis. Lena smiled in complete understanding to her question. "Yes, he is, or was, my white master." Lena confirmed, seeing the fear and struggle, “You’re free now
Francis, free to speak your mind here within this family
.”

Francis didn't look up, but nodded. "I - for a long time, kind'ah ... well, I hate white men. All ov'em... for what I seen them do to us." She clenched her jaw, fighting back tears and went on, "I hate them for what they do. I look at'em, and I see'em as men empty in feelin' as they is in color." She stated emotionally. "I rather kill m'self than let one – touch me… like you – let him."

Lena sighed as Maria and Hope remained quiet, though Hope was bursting to defend her father but she felt it wiser that she not speak since her emotions might make her say something she would later regret, after all – she had experienced herself what Francis stated, and knew there was a strong dosage of truth in her words, but not her father…not Maynard Webster and she could imagine, there were other white men like him as well.

"Francis." Lena called her name softly, and she looked up.

"What do you think about Manny, from what you have seen with your own eyes – so far? Do you think he is shallow, unfeeling, as your old master and other white men you have seen?"

Francis gazed at her a moment, unable to answer right away, then
said thoughtfully, "He - he different ... but… he still ... white!"

"Yes he is that. Francis, do you think it is fair to hold all white men responsible for what other white men do? Are you saying that he is guilty of wrong because other white men are?"

"He your master, he own you!"

"Yes, as I said, once he did own me. That was then, I am now free."

"Yes, you free! Then how, why in God name, you want him? How you – let him…kiss you – touch you." She shook her head.

"Oh Francis, that question I could go on forever answering. Had I gone through what you have, I might have felt the same… but I haven’t, so I don't. All I can tell you is this, he is not a cruel man, never has been. Should you remain with us, you will get to see another type of white people. Believe it or not, they are
not
all the same. I love him with all I have inside of me and Francis… I would die for him. I love him that much. Remember this Francis, in God's word the bible; it says that
no man
is without sin."

"I suppose – but they sin mo' than most."

Lena chuckled, knowing that it would take time for Francis to see all the sides that there were, for the time being, she gave up.

"Hey…you…come here." Lena looked up from the sofa. Francis looked up and blushed to see Manny standing in the doorway. Her eyes grew wide wondering if he’d heard what she'd said. She began shaking, afraid. Manny noticed, "Calm yourself Francis, I don't bite, well … sometimes." He grinned looking at Lena, who blushed. He'd heard a bit of what she said, but there was nothing shocking in her words. "Come here you." He repeated to Lena.

She set her sewing aside and rose walking to him. Maria and Hope's curiosity made them glance at each other and grin. Hope reached over and squeezed Francis's hand. "It's okay Francis, the more you're with us, the more you'll see…we're all just people." Hope calmed her. "Have you thought of what you'd like to wear when you and Leon get married?" She asked off the cuff. Francis looked and gasped.

"What is it that you want now, Mr. Webster?" Lena asked, standing in the dim corridor against the wall with Manny leaning over her. "There's something I want you to hear. Something I want you to know…follow me." He reached down and took her hand, leading her down the corridor toward the stairs to go up on deck, explaining as he went.

"Do you remember the first time I departed…when I thought there was no Hope…remember?"

Lena nodded, "Yes I remember. That parting was agony for me. I
almost gave it up, I was so sick with the thought of never seeing you again." Lena returned softly, being lead behind him.

"Well, I drowned myself in learning all there was to do with sailing, making the vast seas my home. Many days and nights, months at sea, gave me much to think about. Certainly, most of every thought concerned you, our children, us." He said slowly taking the stairs with her in front of him; Lena turned listening as they rounded the first flight heading up the second.

"I used to lay up on deck or in my quarters with my soul in such turmoil. Making the ache that much more powerful, there was a song the men would sing. Every now and then, I would ask them to sing it again …just because it reminded me of you. And well, I want you to hear it." He informed her as they came upon the deck. Finbar, Jarvis, Shelly and two others were sitting and waiting for them. Manny smiled as he passed them, Lena smiled nervously as well, continuing on with Manny leading her up to the highest deck above the captains quarters so she could look down at them.