Authors: Mercedes Keyes
"Sandra it doesn't matter, because once Manny finds out-…"
"Don't let him find out, tell him! Tell him everything, the whole story."
"I can't!"
"Oh yes you can, you can do anything you put your mind to."
"I don't want him to know that."
"You tell him, he will protect you!"
"I can't bear for him to know…if he finds out-…"
"Finds out what?" Manny asked stepping onto the terrace, startling both, he'd stood listening long enough; no one was actually saying anything that told him what he longed to know.
Lena looked up at him and wanted to crumble into his arms. She wanted all in her past forgotten never to be brought up again. She turned back to the banister. Sandra stared up at him a moment, then said before she left the terrace. "Tell him Lena, you tell him – tell him everything." Sandra turned and left them alone.
Manny's eyebrows drew in quizzically. He watched Sandra's
back and then slowly turned back to Lena where she stood against the railing looking out at the stars. He came up behind her, feeling the tension in the air. When he put his hands on her shoulders, she immediately stiffened, then trembled.
"What's wrong? What did I walk in on?" He asked, hesitantly.
Lena swallowed, feeling tears come to her eyes. She loved Manny so much but what if somehow he could not deal with what happened to her, with what happened to George Sinclair? Would it be the one thing that could finally come between them? Manny was a man of extreme possession and pride. A lot of it invested in her. She was so afraid the truth would destroy it. Yet, she knew there was another side to him as well. Regardless, it had come to the point of no return. He would never leave it to die until he knew what it was about, and it was not within her to lie to him. She felt he deserved to know and God help her, he would.
"Lena, answer me. What's going on? Tell me?" He asked urgently, turning her around to face him. Lena looked up at him and with a groan of despair and fell to his chest wrapping her arms around his waist, holding onto him as tight as she could.
"My God! What the hell happened out here!?”
"I love you, I love you so much! I want to marry you, I do…I just need…you to know something…first." She appealed.
He pulled her from him, looking into her eyes, "Nothing you can ever tell me is ever going to make a difference in the way I feel about you. I love you; nothing in the world could ever change that!
Nothing!
" He swore firmly.
"I hope so, but I haven't told you yet."
"You hope so!? Do you trust me?!"
"I trust you with my life!"
"Then don't doubt me."
"It's…it is really bad Manny…
really
bad."
"I think we should go back to the Princess, where we can be alone. It's time we had a talk."
"What about the kids, the party?"
"Everyone is enjoying themselves; they can stay and continue to do so. I will make our excuses and inform them... come on." Manny searched out Mike and Hope, letting them know that they were leaving, "Your mother is a little tired and we have something very important to discuss, stay and see to our guests." Mike looked as if he wanted to say something but the look on his father's face told him to leave it alone and he did.
Manny found her wrap and they left.
Back at the ship, Gaitsu was surprised to see them returning so early in the evening. When he greeted them, Lena smiled and went straight to her room. There, she shed her gown for something more comfortable. She took her hair down, running her fingers through it, then went into the drawer of her vanity that had been brought on board for her. Removing a black velvet reticule from which she pulled out a small pouch of her headache powder and put some in a cup of water; stirred it and drank it down. She set the cup down, looked in the mirror at herself, picked up a brush and brushed her hair out a few strokes. She set it down, took a deep breath, then stood, turned to leave the room; and stopped, stunned to see Manny standing in the doorway watching her, he had also changed into something more comfortable. He then looked at the cup on her vanity, "What was that you took?"
Lena sighed. "Medicine, for my headaches, I get them ever so often. On the way here I felt one coming on. It – helps."
Manny didn't immediately respond, he stood staring at her, finally he stepped aside in the open door as indication for her to follow. She walked up to him feeling his eyes on her and stepped past him out the door. Following behind her he finally said. "Next time you feel one coming on, a headache that is, you tell Gaitsu, he can rid it without the use of that powder. What is that anyway?" He asked as she walked nervously to the family room.
"I don't know Manny, it's just for the pain, its nothing."
"Pain is not easily gotten rid of, it has to be something worth knowing about if it is an aid to yours." Having reached the room, Lena gave no comment; her nerves were too on edge as she felt flutters of fear setting in. She wondered if she should have taken a little more of her powder than usual. It had a way of calming her like nothing else and right then she really did need calming. She walked to the large windows and looked out at the open sea hoping it would provide an extra calming effect on her.
"Is all okay boss?" She heard Gaitsu ask Manny from behind.
"Yes Gaitsu, but I think I could stand some coffee, and tea for Miss Lena please."
"Right away boss."
She heard him leave. There was the sound of Manny moving about behind and she knew he'd taken a seat on the sofa, watching her no doubt.
"Would you prefer it if I joined you there to talk?" He asked her from across the room. With her arms wrapped around herself, she silently shook her head. "Gaitsu will be here shortly with your tea, why don't you join me over here?" Manny added.
Chapter Twelve
Lena stood silent and unmoving for a moment. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths to calm the pounding of her heart, mustering as much nerve as she could.
"I stood many nights right where you are, looking out at the endless blue waters, wondering where you were and how I might find you." Manny spoke from his seat, watching her, hoping to calm her. "Now that I have you, don't think a dark secret could possibly make a difference."
Lena remained still, finding it hard to begin, speak, or even turn around to look at him. A few moments later Gaitsu walked in with the coffee and tea, setting them down on the coffee table before Manny. He noticed when he left the room to make the beverages Lena had been at the window, her back to the room and she was still there.
"Miss Lena, I bring you tea, come have some, relax."
Lena swallowed unable to ignore his concerned plea. Taking a deep breath, she turned and smiled at him. "Thank you Gaitsu, I think I will." She hadn't met Manny's eyes yet and couldn't just yet. "If nothing else needed, Gaitsu retire now." He left his statement open to see if there would be a need for him.
"Thank you Gaitsu, that will be all, goodnight." Manny dismissed him. He nodded to them both and left the room. The whole time Manny's eyes had remained on Lena; he sat forward and poured her tea and his coffee. He patted the space next to him. Lena saw all of his actions from the side of her eye as she stood watching the door. Resigning herself, knowing the moment was at hand, she joined him.
Sitting stiffly a bit
away from Manny, she found that she was unable to sit back and relax as she looked down at her hands, flexing her fingers.
"Here." Manny offered her tea, noticing she needed something to do with her hands. Taking it, she held it in her lap at first, and then as if having a second thought, she placed it on the table before her. Glancing up at Manny, she cut away and reached for the cup again, this time, after blowing at it, she sipped it.
'I should have taken more, just a little more, it's too late now, he's not going to let me leave this room.'
Sipping more of the tea was all she could do to stall and collect her thoughts. Manny was determined to remain patient and wait for her. She lowered the tea cup, placing it back on the table and rubbed the moisture, from her palms, on her thighs.
"Manny ... once I begin, just - listen…okay?"
"Take your time."
"I'm not sure exactly where to begin, I guess from the time before Rory's birth is a good start. I came to live with Sandra the first day I found myself in New York. Strange as it may seem, I thought I was still in Mississippi. When I found out I wasn't, I fainted ... to put it mildly." She reached for her tea, sipped a bit, placed it back and went on.
"There was a couple that I spoke to, they turned out to be Sandra's sister and her husband. They were visiting from England. They took me there and so my life began with the Sinclairs. Right from the start, Sandra was drawn to me. So caught up in my own fears and misery, I didn't respond to her kindness. It took a while for me to get over the shock of losing Hope and missing you. All I could do was pray that you had her. I was ... tired Manny, tired, afraid and defeated. I began working in the kitchen, assisting the cook, cleaning or whatever was asked of me, I kept to myself. I – I didn't want Rory, Manny. God forgive me, I - I tried to drop him but he - was
strong
." She paused as tears of shame flooded her eyes at having to confess that to him, feeling so much regret remembering.
"Lena?" Manny called her name softly.
"I'm okay, just give me a minute." Gathering her thoughts she went on, "Anyway, I was with child. No one made comment to it… only George Sinclair. I heard him yelling at Sandra about me and the child I carried. Yet, I was not forced to leave, nor was I forced to give him up. George Sinclair...he never really paid me any attention, he was hardly ever home. When he was, I made it a point to do what I had to do, and return to my room, as did the other servants. Weekends, were when he was most often home. Um, after I'd given birth to Rory, Zsaquin, the server died and so I began the chore of - of serving George"
Manny felt his jaw grow tense as the picture of her
, having to serve that man, materialized within his mind.
"You see, George Sinclair - was the fear of everyone there, especially Sandra, who at that time, lived in her own private hell. I became Sandra's confidante. All the other servants had been there before her and there was no one she could go to. She needed a friend, someone to talk to and for some reason she chose to make me that person. I suppose I was her only relief from what she was forced to endure. She told me, after her father died and she was solely dependent on George, he began to worsen in his treatment of her. He was such a – heavy drinker Manny. He ... also, beat - Sandra ... on a regular bases, so much so at times I thought – how could she survive it? How was it that he had not killed her?" Lena closed her eyes remembering.
Manny felt his stomach quiver with dread.
"Many nights, I lay in my room frightened that her screams, and cries for help...would end in death. She never went anywhere. She couldn't, always bruised, black eyes, her mouth swollen – it was horrible. He – he broke her arm twice and threw her down the stairs a couple of times, once breaking her leg. Her sister and brother in law stayed there for weeks, weeks! They did nothing! Nothing...her sister, left her there." She shook her head in silent anguish.
"George always took chances on different business ventures, plus he turned to gambling as well. Often, at first…he won. Ohhh, but when he lost, for some reason, it was Sandra's fault and he made her pay." Everything replayed vividly in her mind. "Everyone was afraid of him, including me, I - dreaded - serving him. Sometimes, sometimes ... I could feel his eyes on me. God, when I did, I couldn't help but shake. He never spoke to me, never said a word, just a nod now and then when I was forced to ask him of his want. When he went away for a while on trips, I could swear the walls of the mansion – would sigh in relief, as if it too held its breath. I know Sandra thought of running away but she had nowhere to run to. Anyway, about the fourth year there, things finally worsened, if it were possible. Deals began to fall through; he lost more often when gambling. One particular night, one of his most wanted deals ever fell through and that night, Sandra's hell, her nightmare, opened up and I found myself, a part of it."